#i also don't feel clean at work and keep makeup and mouthwash at my desk? but i think that's because it's a vulnerable space i can't contro | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gwennovynne · 1 year

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im like "I don't use showers as a trauma response I just like being clean" then take three boiling showers a day when I'm alone and Scared and say things like "do you ever wish you could unzip your skin and put it in the washing machine?"

#this is such an insane thing to observe in myself #at boyfriend's? one nice normal shower + hair wash.#at mom's? one shower a day but compulsive teeth brushing (less safe than with bf)#at bike club? i have sweated for six hours then gotten in the dunk tank like ''all clean :)''#where i live? two or three showers a day and i literally never feel clean #i also don't feel clean at work and keep makeup and mouthwash at my desk? but i think that's because it's a vulnerable space i can't contro #ALSO when I'm in a meeting/environment where it's all women? totally fine #when I'm in an environment with a lot of men (like shopping)? must go home and bathe or at least fully change outfit #i do not control these laws i just obey them

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