#i also think i figured out 1 reason i keep catching unrequited feelings for ppl but i can't rlly put it into words yet
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Packing for my move that I sooo don't want to do I want everything to stay the same... but I'm gonna be soo brave 😔
#idk how i feel abt my new flatmates and i rlly like my old flat :-( sadly our landlords are horrible#and I only moved here a year ago grrrr!!!#BUT my next room has a beautiful hardwood floor and a big windowsill. clinging to that#also my childhood dog is not doing well he might have cancer :-( hes probably not in pain but he's getting so old idk what to do w/o him#ALSO saw my cr*sh almost every day after minor heartbreak event which was fine and i like seeing her but i think i need a little distance#it's so weird bcs like everything is fine and i dont feel bad when seeing her but i always feel depleted and empty afterwards#like my brain is investing too much energy in this lost cause. but also i cant make it stop. BUT shes moving away soon#i also think i figured out 1 reason i keep catching unrequited feelings for ppl but i can't rlly put it into words yet#i think its like bcs 'imaginary' or 'future' love between ppl feels safer and more desirable to me than the real thing#and it gives me someone/something to focus on and devote my time to without the scary intimacy part#👍 idk what to do abt it but that's something i guess
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