#i am celebrating the good plot twist with VIGOR

[xjoonchildx]

danger | ksj x reader chapter one: good girl

summary: kim seokjin is a rich asshole. you are an ambitious attorney. smut ensues when he just won’t leave you alone.

pairing: seokjin/reader word count: 8.6K (Part 1 of 2)

rating: 18+

genre: smut | pwp | okay fine, porn with a thin plot | but it’s really thin

warnings:  hate sex, language, terrible ethical decisions, blatant misuse of office furniture

Chapter 01 | 02

**************************

Are you fucking kidding me? What am I to you? Am I easy to you? Are you playing with me? You are in danger now Why are you testing me? Why are you testing me? Don’t get me twisted

-- BTS, "Danger"

******************************

“Excuse me, Miss?”

You look up from your phone to the bartender who’s just walked up to you. He’s holding a bottle of champagne. 

“Yes?”

“The gentleman sitting just over there sent this for you.”

Your gaze follows the direction of his nod and immediately your blood warms to a boil.

The man who’s just finished wiping the floor with your ass in court has just sent you a bottle of champagne. Champagne is for celebrating, not for self-medicating after a brutal trial with a shitty outcome. But of course, that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? 

You’d spotted the hint of a smile on Kim Seokjin’s lips in the quick moment you’d looked his way.  He was seated at a table -- surrounded by his adoring lackeys -- who were no doubt high-fiving themselves into a frenzy after this afternoon’s verdict. You’d been so busy drowning your sorrows in wine and furiously texting with Nari that you hadn’t even noticed his entire group’s arrival.

The absolute nerve of this man.

“I don’t want it,” you say. “Please send it back.”

The bartender looks flustered for a moment, glancing at Seokjin and then back to you.

“But Miss, this is a very expensive bottle of champagne,” he protests kindly.

“I know that,” you reply quickly, which is bullshit because you don’t know anything about champagne but you’ll be damned if you let this server or Kim Seokjin know that. 

“I still don’t want it.”

“Alright then, I’ll take it back,” he says nervously, clearing his throat. No doubt he’s not looking forward to telling the pompous prick you’ve turned away his selfless gift. “If you’re sure, that is.”

You make certain to give the bartender your warmest smile because you know he is looking. 

“Oh, I’m sure.”

************************************

Kim Seokjin has never had to think about concepts like student loans and overdue rent. He’s never had to lie awake at night praying for an opportunity to get ahead.

Status and success are his birthright.  

If you had to guess, you’d say those broad shoulders come from weekends spent lugging a bag of golf clubs across manicured greens. Those muscular legs are probably the result of hours of vigorous tennis at his family’s estate.  And the face? Word on the street is that his mother was a beauty queen which fits quite nicely into his rich boy trifecta.  

Truly, you can’t stand the sight of him.

But if you’re being honest with yourself, the worst thing about Kim Seokjin -- the thing that really sets your teeth on edge --  is that he’s a damned good attorney. 

Maybe daddy’s money got him into the best schools, but he clearly paid attention. So instead of spending his days playing polo or drinking manhattans or doing whatever it is obscenely rich people do all day, he spends his days in court litigating circles around some unfortunate opponent.

Just your luck that his last two opponents happen to be you. 

Kim Seokjin has single-handedly put an end to your personal hot streak. You should be celebrating a big win right now but instead you’ve run straight into a brick wall. 

A tall, broad, well-dressed brick wall.

***********************

“Do you think he’s gay?”

“What?”

“Kim Seokjin, dammit. Are you paying attention to me at all?”

You pull a face when Nari mentions he-who-should-not-be-named. 

“Gay? How the hell should I know?” you grumble, stabbing a fork full of salad with more force than is necessary. 

“I’m just saying. Everyone knows everything about everyone at the courthouse, right? But you never hear about Kim Seokjin hooking up with anyone. Anyone. And I mean, he’s -- you know, gorgeous.”

“I guess,” you say flatly. 

Nari tuts at your unenthusiastic response. Gossip is her specialty and you’re usually game to hear what she’s been able to dig up but just the mention of this man’s name is enough to put you in a mood.  

“Listen, I’d be salty too if I’d lost that case, but that doesn’t change the fact that the man is a four-alarm fire.”

“Two cases,” you correct. “And he’s two-alarm. At best.”

“Oh, you’re hilarious,” Nari laughs.  “Anyway, I picked up something super slinky for Judge Park’s party tomorrow so by then I’ll know one way or another which way he’s batting.”

You roll your eyes. 

“Hope that works out for you. Either way, I really don’t want to talk about Kim Seokjin’s sex life.”

“Okay, fine,” she concedes.  “But what about his professional life? Cause word on the street is that his firm is probably going to make him a partner. Like very soon.”

You chew on that for a moment. 

He’ll probably be the youngest partner in his firm’s history or in any firm’s history, for that matter. It would be the only logical next step in the progression of this man’s obnoxiously charmed life. 

“Good for him,” you grind out, silently willing Nari to drop the subject of the infuriating man entirely. 

She smiles with satisfaction at having dropped a very juicy piece of information, but all you can do is frown into your salad.

****************************

You’ve been staring at this piece of art for a solid five minutes and at this point you are questioning Judge Park’s sanity. It’s objectively hideous. 

“So you do drink champagne.”

The fine hairs at the nape of your neck stand on end at the sound of the deep voice that comes from behind. You’ve just lifted a flute of the aforementioned drink to your lips when he sidles up to you. 

“When I’m in the mood,” you say tightly.

The low chuckle you get in response is very, very annoying. 

You catch a glance of Kim Seokjin out of the corner of your eye because you refuse to acknowledge him with your full attention. As expected, he looks perfectly groomed, impeccably dressed, and irritatingly confident.

“So this is...interesting,” Seokjin says, gesturing at the art piece. 

“Interesting,” you repeat. “Yes, well -- it’s definitely that.”

You know you’re sending him every signal that you’d rather be anywhere but here talking to him but he ignores the hostility pouring off of you in waves.

“I’ve been meaning to catch you,” he says, pausing to take a drink from an ornate highball glass. “I think it’s a shame we haven’t had the chance to speak one-on-one yet.”

Oh, please.

“Yes, what a shame,” you reply sweetly. “So glad you’re finally getting the opportunity to take your victory lap in person.”

“Ouch,” he laughs, tone light despite your obvious irritation. “I came in peace. I’ve had the pleasure of facing you in court but not the pleasure of a formal introduction. So I thought I’d make a point to get acquainted with the woman who’s had me up against the ropes in my last two cases.”

You lift an eyebrow at the thin compliment.  

“I have to say,” he smiles, “I’m impressed.”

A flare of indignation ignites inside you at his casual condescension. As if you give a single solitary shit what Kim Seokjin thinks of your litigation skills. 

“Well now that I know I have your stamp of approval,” you say, body rigid, “I can truly go on.”

You hear his faint huff of laughter as he takes another drink.  A few uncomfortable moments pass before he seems to accept your silence as a sign that this conversation is over.  

“Well it was nice to meet you anyway,” he says, and you hate that you can hear a smile in his voice. “I’m sure we’ll see each other around.”

He leaves you fuming in front of that monstrosity on the wall.

************************

“He’s an asshole,” you say when Nari drops a to-go box at your desk.  “I mean, I always knew he would be, but now I know firsthand.  A self-important, super-inflated asshole.”

Nari laughs. “Kim Seokjin, huh? I saw you two talking at the party and wondered what that was all about.”

She drops into the chair on the other side of your desk with her own to-go box.

“For the record, I can’t get a read off of him. And believe me, I tried,” she sighs.  “So what did he say to you?”

“He was so damned patronizing. He told me I ‘had him up against the ropes’ in his last case,” you hiss. “That I’m talented.”

“Oh, that’s awful,” Nari says, and you don’t miss her thick sarcasm. “Acknowledging your skill and whatnot. You’re right -- total jerk.”

You are immediately impatient with her lack of sympathy.

“You weren’t there, Nari.  He wasn’t passing along some heartfelt praise, he was saying ‘close but no cigar.’”

“He’s professionally competitive, girl.  A shark. What did you expect?”

“I don’t know. Manners, maybe?”

“Ugh, you’re such a baby,” she teases. “I think your sudden success has gone to your head. He’s not about to bend the knee just because you’ve got a great record.”

You narrow your eyes at her.  “No one’s asking him to bend the knee, Nari.”

She smiles.

“Okay, princess, I’m gonna let you believe that. But I will admit that you might be right about the goading thing,” she says. “Last night, Sang Yejun told me Seokjin took over that last case from a junior attorney. Stepped in and snatched it right up and no one thought it was even on his radar.”

Well that catches your attention. 

You’d wondered yourself why the great Kim Seokjin had stooped to take such a minor case. 

“See what I’m saying, Nari? It’s like he’s purposely trying to get under my skin.”

She snorts. 

“Girl you know I love you, but you really need to get a grip. Not everything is about you.”

*************************

Nari was dead wrong. Apparently everything is about you.

Three days after your cringeworthy exchange at Judge Park’s party, you have the displeasure of seeing Kim Seokjin again. This time, he walks right into one of your open hearings and helps himself to a seat.

Your entire body goes rigid when you spot him. He has nothing to do with this case, his firm isn’t involved in any way and yet here he is, taking time out of his precious day to sit in your hearing. You silently simmer over his unwelcome presence and the anxiety that comes with it.

Just what is he playing at?

Your second chair elbows you.

“You ready?” he asks and you nod.  

You take one last look at your notes and will yourself to focus.  The last thing you want to do is screw up this line of questioning and you certainly don’t want to screw it up in front of him.

*************************

You assume the coast is clear when court adjourns and everyone scatters. You look around for any sign of Seokjin while packing up your files and come up empty. You hate to acknowledge the tiny feeling of relief that blossoms inside at that observation.

That feeling of relief doesn’t last long. 

As soon as you round the corner into the hallway you spot him leaned up against the wall, scrolling through his phone as you walk past. You stride quickly, praying he won’t look up in time to see you but no such luck.

“Hey,” he calls after you.  You grit your teeth.  

There’s certainly no way to avoid speaking to him, not without causing a scene.  The hallway is packed with attorneys and paralegals from firms all over the city. You’d hate to give any of them the impression that this man has rattled you.

You stop and round on him.

“How can I help you today, Mr. Kim?”  

He smiles, refusing to be intimidated by your acid tone.

“I got a chance to sit in on your hearing,” he says, as though you didn’t already know that.  ”Not bad.”

You are in uncharted waters right now. If Kim Seokjin was just another asshole in a bar, you’d throw your drink in his face and leave him sputtering.  But he’s a respected colleague and you can’t make a scene -- not here. You’re still trying to figure out how to respond to that gem when he makes another observation. 

“You did miss an opportunity to pin your witness on that last question, though.”

You catch your jaw before it has a chance to drop.

“I thought you were going to go for the jugular for a minute there,” he says, lips pursing to suppress a smile. “But then you backed off.  It surprised me.”

He’s baiting you. And you know he’s baiting you. And you still can’t stop yourself from reacting.

“So are you billing me for these hours or do I get to enjoy all this unsolicited legal advice for free?”

“For you?” He shrugs casually. “Totally free.”

He slips his hands into his pockets and turns to walk away, but you are the one to stop him this time.

“Why?” you call after him.  

He turns back to face you. 

“Why do you care? Why are you here grading me like this is some kind of performance review?” you ask, unable to keep the astonishment out of your voice.

The slow smile that spreads across his face is downright smackable. 

“It’s my job to keep an eye on talent.  Even if the talent is overly confident, bad at taking direction, and just a little…” he stops for a moment to appreciate the look of absolute outrage on your face, “...bratty.”

“Bratty,” you repeat numbly. 

“Bratty,” he confirms. 

He shoots you a wide smile before sauntering away.

***************************

“He said you were…” Nari pauses for effect. “Bratty.”

“Yes.”

You wait through a full thirty seconds of Nari’s laughter before you interrupt.

“You --” you say, pointing an accusing finger at her, “are supposed to be my friend.”

“Oh, I am your friend, sweetheart,” she says, chuckling between words. “And as your friend I have to tell you that’s the most accurate take a man has had on you in a minute.”

You ball up a piece of paper on your desk and throw it at her.

“Seriously,” she says, breathless from laughter. “That is the funniest shit I’ve heard in a while.”

“Glad you think so,” you mutter.

Nari finally manages to collect herself after a moment.

“Okay, so Kim Seokjin thinks you’re bratty. And he’s definitely toying with you. And it’s working. So what are you gonna do about it?” she asks.

You say nothing for a moment. This is the internal debate you’ve been having since your embarrassing little encounter the other day.

“I’m gonna tell him to go fuck himself,” you say, finally.  “Whatever little game he’s playing — I’m done.”

Nari’s sly smile around a fork full of noodles indicates she can’t wait for the gossip that will no doubt come out of this showdown.

*******************************

You have to wait for the right opportunity to confront Kim Seokjin.

You’ve crossed paths with one another a few times in the courthouse in the past few days, but the last thing you want to do is have this conversation in front of the prying eyes and sharp ears that always mill about the halls.

So you stew in your anger and wait for the perfect moment to strike.

The moment comes when you spot a box of files in the lobby of your office, with a large note right on top.

ATTN: Kim Seokjin

Lee & Kang Law Firm

“What is this?” you ask the receptionist, pointing at the box.

“That’s a load of files that has to go over to Lee and Kang.  I’m having them delivered,” she replies.

“Don’t worry about it,” you say quickly.  You check your watch.  It’s end of business already, but you’re certain he’s still at his office.  He’s far too ambitious to be the type to pack it in early.

You pull out your phone and shoot a quick text to Nari. Her response is immediate.

you: going to give seokjin a piece of my mind tonight [ 5:49 PM ]

nari: i expect nothing less than a detailed play-by-play [ 5:50 PM ]

The receptionist quirks an eyebrow at you, waiting for you to get off your phone.

“You don’t want me to call for delivery, then?”

“No,” you smile. “I’ll be happy to hand-deliver them myself.”

She shrugs.  “Suit yourself.”

******************************

The offices of Lee and Kang are opulent. 

Marble and glass and shining fixtures all paid for by hours of top-dollar billing.  It’s one of the best firms in town and they clearly spared no expense in decorating the massive space.

When you walk through the heavy glass doors in the lobby there is no receptionist on duty. The main lights are down, leaving only accent lights and the glow coming from a few open offices. 

You spot one lone woman still working at her desk in the common area. 

“Kim Seokjin?” you ask, as you carry the box past her desk.

For a moment, it looks like she is going to ask you who you are -- because clearly you’re not a deliveryman -- but she sees the note taped to your box and points you in the right direction.

A corner office.  

Of course the pampered asshole would already have a corner office. 

You take a deep breath before knocking and immediately you hear Seokjin’s deep voice responding to invite you in.

The first thing that strikes you when you open his office door is that he does not seem surprised to see you. 

At all.

The man’s beautiful, infuriating face stays entirely neutral as he looks up from the papers on his desk. His total lack of a reaction is unnerving.

The second thing you spot are the massive windows. Seokjin certainly gets to enjoy the perks of his high-status, high-rise office because the backdrop to his workspace is stunning.  The sun has already set and the city is lit up behind him, a stark contrast to the night sky.

The last thing that you notice is that his office is a mess. You’d expect someone as anal-retentive as Kim Seokjin to be a neat freak, but there are boxes and papers all over the floors and even his pictures and degrees are leaning against the walls instead of hanging on them.

“Doing some redecorating?” you ask finally, when he does absolutely nothing to end the awkward silence.

“Something like that,” he answers smoothly.  

“We owe you these documents,” you say, motioning to the box.  You drop it unceremoniously on the floor in front of his desk.

He stares at it for a moment before finally deciding to speak.  

“You --” he starts, “ -- hand-delivered a box of documents to my office? Can your firm not afford couriers anymore? You guys going out of business?”

“That’s a lot of questions at once, Mr. Kim,” you fire back. “Have I walked into a deposition? Am I being videotaped?” 

“Would you like to be videotaped?” he counters evenly.

You search his face for any hint of humor -- any indication of teasing --  and come up empty. The look on his face suggests he’s just asked a serious question that deserves a serious answer.

Alarm bells begin to sound in your head.  

“You seem to be at a loss for words tonight,” he says, finally. “Which from what I gather is a bit unlike you.  So I’ll ask you again, what is a gifted attorney doing playing errand girl with a box of files?”

You stand silent, irritated at your sudden inability to string a simple sentence together.  Moments ago you’d walked in here ready for a confrontation, ready to read this man the riot act.  In a matter of seconds your momentum has died. You can almost feel the power shift in the air. 

“I -- “ you start and falter.  

Seokjin raises one perfect eyebrow.

“I am not bratty,” you say finally, lamely, and it’s laughable because it sounds exactly like something a brat would say.

“Not bratty,“ Seokjin repeats dryly. “Noted. Anything else?”

“Don’t do that,” you hiss. “That dismissive thing you’re doing right now.  I don’t know who you think you think you are, or who you think I am -- but you are all wrong about me.”

He stands up from behind his desk, long fingers moving to loosen the tie around his neck and somehow the simple act comes across as painfully intimate.  You very nearly look away.

“All wrong.”

“Yes,” you repeat firmly.

“Oh, I somehow doubt that,” he demurs, moving slowly around his desk to step closer.  Not once does he take his eyes off of you. 

A flutter of panic spreads across your chest.

“Just...leave me out of whatever game you are playing, Mr. Kim,” you say, the words spilling out in one nervous breath as you turn to make for the entrance of his office. You register the sound of his footsteps but don’t realize he’s made up the distance between you until it’s too late.  He reaches past you to push the door closed.

It slams shut with a heavy thud and for a second all you can do is stare at it.

Slowly you turn to face him.  

“What do you want from me?” you say after a moment, breathing a bit harder than you’d like. Your tongue slips out to wet your lips, a nervous gesture that his eyes follow with keen interest.

“You,” he begins slowly, “are in my office. You came to me.”

He’s crowding you with his body, guiding you both so incrementally you barely register movement until the door is nearly flush against your back. 

“So why don’t you tell me what you want?” 

You stare back at him dumbly.

What you want at this moment is to find the choice words that will take him down a peg. You’d love nothing more than to deliver some scathing, elegant takedown but you fail to find the words. You fail to find any words, in fact.

“You are obstinate,” he whispers, so dangerously close you can smell his aftershave. “Haughty. Smug.”

Your mouth falls open in silent protest.

“And clearly in need of a firm hand.”

Heat floods your cheeks. 

It’s embarrassing, being spoken to like this. It’s humiliating to have Kim Seokjin of all people dress you down in this way . But the most mortifying thing about this bizarre exchange is the way your body warms immediately, blood humming in response to his words. 

“Fuck you, Seokjin,” you whisper back, but the words come out thin and weak.

He leans forward, bracing his palms on either side of the door -- on either side of you, dipping his head low to bring his gaze level with yours. 

“That’s what you’re here for, isn’t it?” 

He doesn’t wait for you to answer. 

“Ask me for it. Better yet --” he leans close to whisper in your ear, “Beg me for it.”

He hasn’t touched you but that doesn’t stop the pang of arousal set off by his words from hitting you like a slap. The sensation that starts at the apex of your thighs spreads into your legs and across your arms, into your fingers like a current. 

Seokjin continues speaking in that same even, unsettling tone.

“Go ahead.  I’ll wait.”

He is too close, too warm, too aggravating, too tempting.  You have to shut your eyes for a moment to block him out and give your brain a moment to catch up. No one has ever spoken to you this way, and this -- your body’s immediate, damning reaction to it -- is something new.  

Something scary.

You’re certain he can see it all over you, the beads of sweat at your temples, the high color in your cheeks. Nari was right — Seokjin is a shark — and he’s looking at you right now like he smells blood in the water. 

You stare back at him, conflicted and incensed and aroused beyond belief. 

“I’m leaving,” you say finally, voice brittle.

He gives you one long look before reaching behind you for the handle to the door.  He pulls it open and waits for you to walk through, but you just stand there for a moment, dazed.

“Get home safe,” he murmurs.

You nearly scream.  He’s maddening like this, in complete control while you feel ready to fall apart at the slightest provocation.  You look from him to the door and back to him.  

You know you have to make a decision. You can walk out that door on trembling legs with your entire body on fire or you can swallow your pride and submit to the most infuriating man you have ever met.  

He quirks that eyebrow again.

“Wait,” you say after a long, tense moment.

“For what?”

“Do it,” you whisper, barely meeting his gaze.

“Do what?”

You want to slap him for feigning ignorance but instead take a deep breath in and out before speaking again.

“Fuck me,” you say quietly into the narrow space between your bodies.

For the first time tonight you see a tell --  a tiny giveaway that Seokjin is as affected as you are by this charged encounter. The look of heat that flickers in his eyes is hypnotic. He shuts the door again and rubs his fingers across his lips before speaking.

“Fuck me, what?” 

You grit your teeth -- irritated with him, irritated with yourself for being in this position.  For not telling him off and leaving with your head held high. Your feet feel rooted to the floor.

“You are an asshole,” you whisper tersely.

“I am,” he admits in that infuriating placid tone.  “And I’m still waiting to hear you say it.”

You take a deep breath, then swallow the taste of humiliation that makes your tongue feel heavy and thick.

“Fuck me, please.”

It’s damned near painful to choke out those words and the second they escape you expect him to gloat. You expect him to dangle your submission over your head, to weaponize it and use it against you.  What you do not expect is the eerie calm when he reaches behind you again to cut the lights to his office.  

His voice is low when he leans close to your ear.

“Good girl.”

***********************

[roses-are-blue16]

Novels-Random order

Novelupdates.com for more info about anything -> Back to Masterpost

Fave: 5/5

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/Mo Dao Zu Shi

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Drama, Historical, Mystery, Romance, Shounen Ai/Yaoi Other Unofficial tags: Smart Protagonist, Shameless Protagonist, Smart ML, Love interest falls first, Devoted Love Interest,  beautiful couple, power couple, wuxia, interesting supporting characters    

Status: Ongoing 

Art: 1 2 3 4 5 

Other things: there is an Manhua & Donghua out, all posts tagged by name here

Official Summary: As the grandmaster who founded demonic cultivation, Wei WuXian roamed the world in his wanton ways, hated by millions for the chaos he created. In the end, he was backstabbed by his dearest shidi and killed by powerful clans that combined to overpower him.He incarnates into the body of a lunatic who was abandoned by his clan and is later, unwillingly, taken away by a famous cultivator among the sects—Lan WangJi, his archenemy.This marks the start of a thrilling yet hilarious journey of attacking monsters, solving mysteries, and raising children. From the mutual flirtation along the way, Wei WuXian slowly realizes that Lan WangJi, a seemingly haughty and indifferent poker-face, holds more feelings for Wei WuXian than he is letting on…

My Thoughts: First chinese novel I stumbled upon and I fell in love with. To me everything about this story is absolutely perfect, from characters, to plot, romance, mystery and worldbuilding...everything was so unique and beautiful. And the translation group Exiled Rebels does an excellent job portraying it in english as best they can. There are some hurdles tho: for example if you haven’t read any chinese novels before you have to adjust to terminology a lot- especially names (everyone has like three names). So if you’re like me who stumbled into it with no idea what expect you’ll probably get confused a lot but if you stick out you’ll get used to it and rereading the first few chapters later after adjusting is probably a good tip. Unlike other BL/Yaoi stories that I’ve seen (mostly japanese manga) the romance actually blends and makes sense; and not fetishized or forced, even if you don’t like the genre it won’t get in the way of the story (especially with china’s censorship).    

   2.  The Legend of the Sun Knight 

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy, Mystery  Other Unofficial Tags: Shameless Protagonist, Anti-Hero Protagonist, Strategy, Hilarious interactions, War, Neocromancy, Leader, Loyalty, Elemental Magic, Black-Bellied Protagonist, Demons, Sarcasm abound

Status: Complete  Other things: Manga-(Discontinued?) 

Official Summary: I am a knight. To be precise, I am the Church of the God of Light’s Sun Knight.The Church of the God of Light worships and serves the God of Light, and theirs’ is one of the three largest religions on this continent.As the whole continent knows, the Church of the God of Light has the Twelve Holy Knights, and each one has his own unique personality and features.To be the Sun Knight is to have shining golden hair, sky blue eyes, a compassionate nature, and a brilliant smile.“The benevolent God of Light will forgive your sins.”I must have said that line at least a million times in my time as the Sun Knight.However, the greatest wish in my life is to be able to stand before the entire continent and roar, “Damn your ‘the whole continent knows’! This Sun Knight just doesn’t feel like smiling! I just don’t want to forgive these human trashes! I just want to pepper my sentences with ‘f***’!”Unfortunately, even to this day, I continue to wear a smile as I say, “The benevolent God of Light will forgive your sins.”

My Thoughts: Actually read this years ago (5-6?), and I always thought it was a japanese novel but I guess it isn't(?)-anyways not important. This story was absolutely hilarious, you won’t meet a more entertaining guy.  The contrast between how he’s forced to act as the leader of the religion- belevont, kind, smiling, pure- is the total opposite of his real personality so much so that it gave a shock (of pure delight) cuz of the drastic inner and outer faces. There’s 12 knights in total ,each is totally unique and you get introduced to them super fast. There is different conflicts that occur, that fall on Grisia’s ( the mc) shoulder to solve as he is the leader and while it starts off lighthearted, in the end some serious stuff occurs. This is a very warm hearted story about brotherhood i think overall. (Also heard that Grisia falls into the legendary trinity of shameless protagonist: Wei Wuxian from GDC is one of them and I agree lol). Very unique storytelling, it twists all kinds of classic tropes and plays with them, overall a very fun read.

   3. Eight Treasures Trousseau 

Genre: Historical, Josei, Romance, Drama Other Unofficial Tags: Arranged Marriage, Calm/Lazy Protagonist, Ambitious ML, Politics, Power Couple, Royalty, Doting Love Interest, Beautiful Couple 

Status: Complete

Official Summary: Everyone in the City of Jing thinks that bestowment of marriage between Xian Junwang and the daughter of the Yi’an Marquis House is to insert a fresh flower into manure.Xian Junwang was that fresh flower and the di daughter of Yi’an Marquis House was that manure that was not liked.It is said that what is heard is false, seeing is believing. Who knows what the truth really is?

My Thoughts: A really nice story set in Ancient China, and in my opinion the best one written. The story has both the female lead and male lead on pretty equal field in terms of their relationship, you won’t see any weak-willed person in this couple. This story also portrayed realistically the difficulties of living in Ancient China as a woman, by showing us many different kinds of people. The villains make you feel complicated emotions even when you hate them, which shows you great storytelling. No-one is excessively stupid and the mc is just stomping over them with her “cleverness” in this story which I liked. The MC is actually very lazy and this gave the story a very relaxed feel, which lead to time just flying by. I’ve just recently reread it which rare for me to do.  

   4.  A Slight Smile is Very Charming  -Side Stories

Genre: Romance, Comedy,Josei,School Life, Slice of Life   Other Unofficial Tags: MMORPG, Gamers, College/University, Power Couple, Beautiful Female Lead, Handsome Male Lead, Smart Couple

Status: Complete 

Other things: Adapted to a drama: Love 020

Official Summary:What is it that makes a man fall in love with a woman at first sight? Appearance? Aura? Wealth? NO, when campus prince and gaming expert, student Xiao Nai first saw Bei Wei Wei, what made him fall in love was not her extraordinary beauty; but her slim and slender fingers that were flying across the keyboard and her calm and composed manner!!! Embarrassing, no?At the same time, gaming expert Bei Wei Wei was on the computer methodically commanding a guild war, and won a perfect and glorious victory despite being at a disadvantage; completely unaware of the fact that cupid is nearby.Soon after basketball player; swimmer; all-around excellent student; and game company president, Xiao Nai, uses tactics both on- and offline to capture this beauty’s heart. Therefore this romance slowly bloomed.

My Thoughts: This is a very quick, lighthearted story. It gets straight to the point with no drama, if you just want a nice, quick romance to read then I highly recommend. When I was debating whether to read it or not, one of the reviewers on novelupdates said it had a drama, and I usually hate drama’s but they recommended it, so I went to check it out before I started reading and I surprisingly loved it. I usually hate cheesy but they managed to pull it off real well, so I was squealing and cringing at the same time (lol), it’s probably because the actors are really good looking so you can’t help but let it slide. The drama added some drama not a lot but some to the story. When I went back and read the novel I realized how quick it was compared to the drama. I recommended both honestly, if you’re looking for some fun. 

   5. Rebirth of a SuperModel

Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance, Slice of Life, Yaoi  Other Unofficial Tags: ShowBiz, Transmigration, Black-Belly Protagonist, Love Interest Falls First, Clever Couple, Talented Couple, Power Couple, Celebrities, Acting, Media 

Status: Complete    

Official Summary: In his past life, Ming Yu struggled in the European and United States fashion circles, eventually becoming the well deserved king of the catwalk.After dying from a serious illness and being reborn, Ming Yu was surprised to find: Huaxia stars shone brightly, there were successful names everywhere!In this better world, on a more vigorous and brilliant stage, the first supermodel tries to reproduce the glory of another world! Interviewer: May I ask Mr Xi, this year Ming Yu said he would surpass you. As the number one global supermodel, what is your opinion on this? Xi Ze: This is a bad question. My family has very strict rules. Home Owner Ming Yu: …….  The pair of black-hearted husbands will sweep the fashion industry, conquering the world. 

My Thoughts: A really fresh story, I never got bored. It focuses more on the MC and his rise as a supermodel, and sprinkles in the romance with ML. While reading it (before it got completed), it felt like me and other readers were cheering on the MC as fans as well, which was a lot of fun. I’ve read some other showbiz transmigration stories but I got annoyed or bored real fast, this one I found real fun, no matter how many days until the next chapter you could pick it up and feel happy. Some things people might not like: there a lot of photoshoot scenes (he is a model) so some might get tired of that, but they go by pretty quick. While MC was the number one model in his old world, it doesn’t make him OP, he has his own flaws and he grows a lot which makes him more interesting. 

   6.     Sansheng, Wangchuan Wu Shang

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, Josei, Romance, Supernatural, Tragedy   Other Unofficial Tags: Goddess, Gods, Mythology, Heavenly Tribulations, Honest Protagonist, Protagonist loyal to Love Interest, Reincarnation, Beautiful Couple  

Status: Complete

Official Summary:  This is a story that follows the courtship between a stone from Hell and a god from Heaven that begins in the underworld and spans for three lifetimes in the mortal realm.

My Thoughts: Honestly was suprised how much I liked it. Despite the MC being naive, and ready to throw it all away for the ML, you can’t hate her. This a very fast story (about 15 chapter and 3 bonus stories), which adds to its charm. If it was longer I might have not liked it as much. There are overwhelmingly positive reviews about this story on novel updates which made me give this story a chance and I agree with them. If you like romance definitely check this out.   

    6.  The Earth is Online 

Genre: Action, Adventure, Drama, Psychological, Sci-Fi, Supernatural, Shounen Ai/Yaoi   Other Unofficial Tags: Game Elements, Thriller,  Survival Game, Special Abilities, Calm Protagonist, Clever Protagonist, Slow Romance, Modern Day

Status: Complete       

Official Summary: Six months ago, tens of thousands of black phantom towers appeared all over the world, floating above the cities. Chemists, physicists, religious people… all of them could do nothing.Six months later, people became used to the towers and no longer paid them attention.One day, Tang Mo saw a flying insect crash into it instead of going through it. The next day, a sharp and clear child-like voice issued an announcement to all humans. “Ding dong! November 15th, 2017. The earth is online.”  The black tower’s three iron-clad rules: 1. Everything is explained by the black tower. 2. 6 o’clock to 18 o’clock is the game time. 3. All players, please strive to attack the tower.

My Thoughts: You won’t find a story more unique than this. I doubt there’s anything similar to this story. Something that might come close might be the manga Tomodachi Game, but that's only the doing games for survival bit. I don’t know how the author came up with this, the games are so smart, that you may feel like you’re getting smarter by the end of it or that you’re IQ is hopelessly low. And it’s not the fact that rules are ridiculous and don't follow logic either, when the answers are revealed they make sense.. Honestly reading this I’m glad something like (probably ;) ) won’t happen because I doubt I would survive. I have a real admiration for the author for coming up with this. The story is good at keeping you wary and on edge that something is going to happen at any moment. Some issues?: The romance was so so slow burning that it became a background character, and there wasn’t a big payoff moment like the author gave us this weird analogy when they finally did the deed, that I was burning with indignation, just thinking about it pisses me off, but it probably has to do with the censorship in china. Also there were too much straight explanations that kinda got annoying but could be ignored. I think with how well the author set up the survival element that you could ignore the flaws pretty quickly. So glad I found this novel.      

   7.  Quickly Wear the Face of the Devil - Side Stories

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Drama, Romance, Sci-Fi, Yaoi Other Unofficial Tags: Acting, Apocalypse, Artificial Intelligence, Episodic, Mob Protagonist, System, Virtual Reality, Cunning Protagonist, Devoted Love Interest, Possessive Characters, Hacker

Status: Complete       

Official Summary: A top hacker was chosen by the Lord God to be reborn into countless worlds, always as an expendable villain.With no free will, every world became a dead end. Every one of his lives ended tragically. Finally, after wresting control of the Villain System, this ace hacker decided to enact revenge. Even if his very bones were rotten, he’d choose to occupy the very heights of morality, if only on the surface.Thus, he would change his fate as an abused slag.

My Thoughts: If you’re on novelupdates you’ll hear about this story at some point, it has become infamous on the site. And for good reason, this is the top written System transmigration into multiple world stories, or just system stories. There a multiple worlds and each one has it’s own flavor you’ll definitely have your favorites. It’s a very fun story to read and if you’re new to system stories like I was when I read this, you’ll inevitably compare all others to this one.  

    8.  The Rebirth of the Malicious Empress of Military Lineage

Genre: Historical, Josei, Martial Arts, Mature, Romance Other Unofficial Tags: Betrayal, Politics, Military, Royalty, Scheming, Revenge, Beautiful Female Lead, Handsome Male Lead, Cunning Couple, Slow Romance 

Status: Ongoing 

Official Summary:  Shen Miao, the Di daughter of a military lineage, pure, amiable, quiet and yielding, foolishly in love with Prince Ding, threw herself into the role of a wife. After assisting her husband for six years, she finally became the mother of the world (Empress).She accompanied him to fight for the country, flourished the country’s territory, took risks to become a hostage in another country. When she returned five years later, there was no place for her in the Inner Palace.The beauty in his arms smiled brightly, “Older sister, the country is stabilized so, you should retire.”Her daughter met with a violent death and her son the Crown Prince was deposed. Her Shen family who sacrificed themselves for the country and the Emperor, not a single one of them were lucky enough to escape. With the change of one dynasty, everything was overturned. Her clan perished and she had to mourn for her children.Shen Miao never thought that being a married couple who have gone through trials and tribulations and mutually assisted each other was just a stage joke to him! He said, “Seeing that you have followed Zhen for twenty years, Zhen will grant you an intact corpse. You should thank this kindness.”Under the three Chi (1 chi = 1/3 meter) of white silk, Shen Miao made a malicious vow: In the time to come, she will take part in each and everyone’s end!Upon rebirth, she returned to the time when she was fourteen, when the tragedy had yet to occur, her family was still alive and she was still the pure, amiable, quiet and yielding Di daughter of a military lineage. Relatives hiding a black heart, Elder and younger (female) cousins are ruthless and malicious, the new Yiniang is like a tiger watching its prey and the disreputable man who wants to repeat the events?Her family must be protected, the huge enmity must be avenged, the Imperial seat of the country must also be a part of the trophy. In this lifetime, let’s see who can beat the others!

My Thoughts: I’ve tired to read numerous novels with the reincarnating to get revenge trope and I’ve never been able to complete them for variety of reasons but ultimately it’s because they end up sucking. This novel however is like a ray of light for this trope. Whatever way you think she’s gonna resolve something you’ll never guess right. I’m always pleasantly suprised. That’s something I can say for the whole novel it’s always surprising even with the current chapters with story almost at a close we readers just got shocked yet again. You’ll definitely experience a variety of emotions watching the story unfold, right now I’m pulling a napkin between my teeth (please author put us out of this misery already T.T). I doubt you’ll be disappointed.    

Great: 

Everyone Thinks that I Like Him 

Genre: Comedy, Romance, School Life, Shounen Ai/Yaoi  Other Unofficial Tags: Uni, Dense Protagonist, Slow Romance 

Status: Complete 

Official Summary: From infancy to maturity, what Ye Zhou dislikes the most was “two”.The reasons were: he was ranked second at home, he had been forever ranked second at school, no matter how diligently he worked and tried, he couldn’t shake off that “second” curse. What was more exasperating was that, at University, not only was he ranked second, but even his appearance that he was proud of had to be classified as second best! Why can’t I obtain the first place!The eternal second will rise!Then, Ye Zhou, after his vigorous efforts finally rises and the result was… the first became his boyfriend.This is the story of a man who has been forced to be “second” and how he became the first, most popular.Protagonists: Ye Zhou, Shang Jin.

My Thoughts: Cute, Fluffy, Funny. As you can see there is no drama tag so if you’re looking for an explosive story this is not it. But it is a very realistic story especially in regards to the acceptance of the couple how it differs for the younger generation vs. the older generation. The story is very natural and the characters believable. If you a cute story this is it.  

    2.  Empress with no Virtue 

Genre: Adult, Comedy, Drama, Josei, Mature, Romance, Smut Other Unofficial Tags: Arranged Marriage, Bickering Couple, Politics, Misunderstandings, Politics, Royalty, Imperial Harem, Power Couple,

Status: Complete

Official Summary:  The free-spirited and brutally honest Ye Zhen Zhen was unwillingly chosen as Empress to the playboy Emperor Ji Wu Jiu. Their very first wedding night, she kicked the Emperor down from their bed and he sought out his concubine instead. This completely disastrous start was only the beginning of their eventful life together.

My Thoughts: Although not especially memorable, I enjoyed reading it. It was fun watching the couple act petty to one another. Honestly their relationship reminded me of boys pulling on pigtails to get the attention of their crush. There are a lot of funny and fluffy interactions, made for a fun read.   

tbc.... Posted 2/13/19

[dfroza]

Today’s reading in the ancient book of Proverbs and Psalms

for monday, july 6 of 2020 with Proverbs 6 and Psalm 6 accompanied by Psalm 17 for the 17th day of Summer and Psalm 38 for day 188 of the year

[Proverbs 6]

My son, if you cosign a loan for an acquaintance

and guarantee his debt,

you’ll be sorry that you ever did it!

You’ll be trapped by your promise

and legally bound by the agreement.

So listen carefully to my advice:

Quickly get out of it if you possibly can!

Swallow your pride, get over your embarrassment,

and go tell your “friend” you want your name off that contract.

Don’t put it off, and don’t rest until you get it done.

Rescue yourself from future pain

and be free from it once and for all.

You’ll be so relieved that you did!

[Life Lessons]

When you’re feeling lazy,

come and learn a lesson from this tale of the tiny ant.

Yes, all you lazybones, come learn

from the example of the ant and enter into wisdom.

The ants have no chief, no boss, no manager—

no one has to tell them what to do.

You’ll see them working and toiling all summer long,

stockpiling their food in preparation for winter.

So wake up, sleepyhead. How long will you lie there?

When will you wake up and get out of bed?

If you keep nodding off and thinking, “I’ll do it later,”

or say to yourself, “I’ll just sit back awhile and take it easy,”

just watch how the future unfolds!

By making excuses you’ll learn what it means to go without.

Poverty will pounce on you like a bandit

and move in as your roommate for life.

Here’s another life lesson to learn

from observing the wayward and wicked man.

You can tell they are lawless.

They’re constant liars, proud deceivers,

full of clever ploys and convincing plots.

Their twisted thoughts are perverse,

always with a scheme to stir up trouble,

and sowing strife with every step they take.

But when calamity comes knocking on their door,

suddenly and without warning they’re undone—

broken to bits, shattered, with no hope of healing.

[Seven Things God Hates]

There are six evils God truly hates

and a seventh that is an abomination to him:

Putting others down while considering yourself superior,

spreading lies and rumors,

spilling the blood of the innocent,

plotting evil in your heart toward another,

gloating over doing what’s plainly wrong,

spouting lies in false testimony,

and stirring up strife between friends.

These are entirely despicable to God!

My son, obey your father’s godly instruction

and follow your mother’s life-giving teaching.

Fill your heart with their advice

and let your life be shaped by what they’ve taught you.

Their wisdom will guide you wherever you go

and keep you from bringing harm to yourself.

Their instruction will whisper to you at every sunrise

and direct you through a brand-new day.

For truth is a bright beam of light

shining into every area of your life,

instructing and correcting you to discover the ways to godly living.

[Truth or Consequences]

Truth will protect you from immorality

and from the promiscuity of another man’s wife.

Your heart won’t be enticed by her flatteries

or lust over her beauty—

nor will her suggestive ways conquer you.

Prostitutes reduce a man to poverty,

and the adulteress steals your soul—

she may even cost you your life!

For how can a man light his pants on fire and not be burned?

Can he walk over hot coals of fire and not blister his feet?

What makes you think that you can sleep with another man’s wife

and not get caught?

Do you really think you’ll get away with it?

Don’t you know it will ruin your life?

You can almost excuse a thief if he steals to feed his own family.

But if he’s caught, he still has to pay back what he stole sevenfold;

his punishment and fine will cost him greatly.

Don’t be so stupid as to think

you can get away with your adultery.

It will destroy your life, and you’ll pay the price

for the rest of your days.

You’ll discover what humiliation, shame,

and disgrace are all about,

for no one will ever let you forget what you’ve done.

A husband’s jealousy makes a man furious;

he won’t spare you when he comes to take revenge.

Try all you want to talk your way out of it—

offer him a bribe and see if you can manipulate him

with your money.

Nothing will turn him aside

when he comes to you with vengeance in his eyes!

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 6 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 6]

A Cry for Healing

For the Pure and Shining One

A song for the end, sung for the new day by King David

No, Lord! Don’t condemn me.

Don’t punish me in your fiery anger.

Please deal gently with me, Yahweh;

show me mercy, for I’m sick and frail.

I’m fading away with weakness.

Heal me, for I’m falling apart.

How long until you take away this pain in my body and in my soul?

Lord, I’m trembling in fear!

Yahweh, return to me and deliver my life

because I know your faithful love is toward me.

How can I be any good to you dead?

For graveyards sing no songs.

In the darkness of death who remembers you?

How could I bring you praise if I’m buried in a tomb?

I’m exhausted and worn out with my weeping.

I endure weary, sleepless nights filled with moaning,

soaking my pillow with my tears.

My eyes of faith won’t focus anymore, for sorrow fills my heart.

There are so many enemies who come against me!

Go away! Leave me, all you troublemakers!

For the Lord has turned to listen to my thunderous cry.

Yes! Yahweh my healer has heard all my pleading

and has taken hold of my prayers and answered them all.

Now it’s my enemies who have been shamed.

Terror-stricken, they will turn back again,

knowing the bitterness of sudden disgrace!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 6 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 17]

A David Prayer

Listen while I build my case, God,

the most honest prayer you’ll ever hear.

Show the world I’m innocent—

in your heart you know I am.

Go ahead, examine me from inside out,

surprise me in the middle of the night—

You’ll find I’m just what I say I am.

My words don’t run loose.

I’m not trying to get my way

in the world’s way.

I’m trying to get your way,

your Word’s way.

I’m staying on your trail;

I’m putting one foot

In front of the other.

I’m not giving up.

I call to you, God, because I’m sure of an answer.

So—answer! bend your ear! listen sharp!

Paint grace-graffiti on the fences;

take in your frightened children who

Are running from the neighborhood bullies

straight to you.

Keep your eye on me;

hide me under your cool wing feathers

From the wicked who are out to get me,

from mortal enemies closing in.

Their hearts are hard as nails,

their mouths blast hot air.

They are after me, nipping my heels,

determined to bring me down,

Lions ready to rip me apart,

young lions poised to pounce.

Up, God: beard them! break them!

By your sword, free me from their clutches;

Barehanded, God, break these mortals,

these flat-earth people who can’t think beyond today.

I’d like to see their bellies

swollen with famine food,

The weeds they’ve sown

harvested and baked into famine bread,

With second helpings for their children

and crusts for their babies to chew on.

And me? I plan on looking

you full in the face. When I get up,

I’ll see your full stature

and live heaven on earth.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 17 (The Message)

[Psalm 38]

A song of David for remembering.

O Eternal One, please do not scold me in Your anger;

though Your wrath is just, do not correct me in Your fury.

The arrows from Your bow have penetrated my flesh;

Your hand has come down hard on me.

Because Your anger has infected the depths of my being and stolen my health,

my flesh is ill.

My bones are no longer sound

because of all the sins I have committed.

My guilt has covered me; it’s more than I can handle;

this burden is too heavy for me to carry.

Now sores cover me—infected and putrid sores,

because of all the foolish things I have done.

I am bent down, cowering in fear, prostrate on the ground;

I spend the day in mourning, guilty tears stinging and burning my eyes.

My back aches. I’m full of fever;

my body is no longer whole, no longer well.

I am completely numb, totally spent, hopelessly crushed.

The agitation of my heart makes me groan.

O Lord, You know all my desires;

nothing escapes You; You hear my every moan.

My heart pounds against my chest; my vigor is completely drained;

my eyes were once bright, but now the brightness is all gone.

Even my friends and loved ones turn away when they see this marked man;

those closest to me are no longer close at all.

Those who want me dead lay traps upon my path;

those who desire my downfall threaten—my end is near—

they spend their days plotting against me.

Like one who is deaf, my ears do not hear.

Like one who is mute, my tongue cannot speak.

The truth is this: I am like one who cannot hear;

I cannot even protest against them.

Still I wait expectantly for You, O Eternal One—

knowing You will answer me in some way, O Lord, my True God.

I only asked, “When I stumble on the narrow path,

don’t let them boast or celebrate my failure.”

I am prepared for what may come; my time must be short;

my pain and suffering a constant companion.

I confess, “I have sinned,”

and I regret the wrong I have done.

My enemies are alive and well,

they are powerful and on the increase,

and for no reason, they hate me.

When I do good, my opponents reward me with evil;

though I pursue what is right, they stand against me.

Eternal One, do not leave me to their mercy;

my True God, don’t be far from me when they are near.

I need Your help now—not later.

O Lord, be my Rescuer.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 38 (The Voice)

[appytrovert]

Bishu Da

Everyday I catch the 9 am Krishnanagar Local on my way to work, and so does every other bread-earner in the city. The aisles of any local train are probably the liveliest component of the Indian railways. This two feet space between the rows of seats, enforces the unruly mob, to move in a single queue. Once the quibble about the seats is settled, the vociferous procession of hawkers begins. Some come with savory snacks to roil the tongue, while some doctor carminative pills for all gut troubles. Some sell nifty house items and some have solutions for cockroach distress in homes. From clothing to cold-drinks, everything is at one’s disposal. Occasionally the vendors’ monologue would be interspersed with the sing-song prayers of a beggar. Then there would be the dread of hijras, clapping their way in and out of the aisle, to squeeze out our wallets. For the three hours the train takes to reach Sealdah, my workplace, the aisles will be nothing less than a mobile country fair. With people pouring in and out in multitudes at each stop, I see the scurrying pace of racing lives. It was in these aisles that I met Bishu Da, a book vendor.

From age old classics to Chetan Bhagat, from Aesop’s fables to Tolstoy or from Kabir to Satyajit Ray, Bishu Da had them all captured in his two big cloth satchels. Hanging each on either shoulder he would travel up and down the Krishnanagar-Sealdah route daily 9 am to 9 pm. He had become an integral member of our daily passenger group. He would not sit with us during the morning trip to play cards or discuss politics. He had his business to attend to. He was more active than any of us bachelors, even in his age nearing sixty. We would catch him on our way back in the evenings, and by then the vigor of his morning face would have faded. The weight of the satchels would have reduced his height, and, the shouting and haggling would have broken his voice. However, the eyes, placed between the wrinkled cheeks and white rooted receding hair, would always shine with the stories of the day that he had to share with us.

Bishu Da had a unique sales pitch. He would enact scenes from the books he sold. Lanky as he was he did not need much space to perform. Even in the crowdest of trains he could find a corner in the aisles for his stage. Be it the malice of Macbeth or the agony of the Postmaster, he expressed every human emotion deftly. When he entered into a role, he brought the character alive from the pages of his books. The incessant chatter of the compartment went numb when he started his act. Even other vendors stopped their bartering, such was his respect among the hawker community. All aged six to sixty were enraptured by his skit. Half of his sales were because of this incitement. Some of his customers even complained of having been sold a boring book, not as grand as he had put it out to be.

And one could not blame such customers, if one knew the reason why Bishu Da’s skill surpassed the writers’. He told us the secret one evening. He had not always been a book vendor. In his youth, he wanted to be an actor. Such dreams are seldom backed in a middle-class family and so he fled from home one night to venture out his fortune in Bollywood. No doors opened for the not fair, not good-looking Bishu Da, in five grueling years. He came back home, and started his own theater group with a businessman friend. He put all his possessions and life-force into it. Things were slowly getting into shape. The group started performing in various towns and villages, across the district. He fell in love with one of the artists and married her. While he was engrossed in all the acting, directing, script-writing and stage setting, one day, his friend ran away with all the funds. With enormous debts and loans on him, he took to drinking and beating up his wife. The poor girl could not bear the torture and hanged herself to death when she was three months pregnant. To our words of consolation, he laughed meekly and said every great artist must sacrifice to reach the paramount of success. The tragedy of the incident could be traced in some of his best performances in the book-selling pitches.

As far as I know, Bishu da never recovered from paying debts. After the misfortune, he did not have the leisure to look for jobs. He sold off his house, the few acres he inherited and his father’s bookshop, and hit the road with the books that remained stockpiled. While we all pitied his plight, I feel many in our group were actually relieved after hearing his life-story, an alibi to have nipped our skyrocketing aspirations in the bud. He was an avatar of what happens if the blood of youth is not cooled down in time. He had become an ointment to our wound of unrealized dreams, an excuse to our cowardice of avoiding the unbeaten path. No surprise, we would always complain about our jobs, returning haggard from work. Life may not have been fair to Bishu da, but he had been fair to life, and that is why he fretted a lot less than us. We all held degrees way higher than his, but we all looked upto him for advice when life had us cornered.

He sold the same books that he had grown up on, the same books that had kindled in him the artistic spark. He would occasionally give us books to read for free. On special occasions, be it someone’s promotion or marriage proposal or fatherhood, he would put up performances in the aisles to celebrate the event. However small the size of the stage and however low the strength of the audience, whether performing for money or for mere joy, he always delivered his best. Encouraged, we too, sometimes played a role or two as sidekicks in his acts. One day he played a part from a piece he said he was writing. We were all stunned. No doubt, his skit was marvelous, but equally enthralling was the plot. If such a story hit the Bengali theaters, we all agreed, it would definitely create a spur, given the rickety state the film industry was in. His idea would give the audience a fresh and unique taste of cinema. We all asked him to finish the script, and try approaching the fat cats in the field.

And then suddenly he was nowhere to be seen. It was almost a week that he was absent from our commute gossips. We asked the pickle vendor one evening about his whereabouts. He told us the story. Bishu Da was playing the part of King Dasharatha to sell “The Ramayana for Kids”. The scene was of him distressing over his favorite son, Rama’s exile. King Dasharatha started crying over his loss, when a sudden pang pierced through his heart. He put his hands on his chest, spitting out incoherrent guttural words, twisting all his face muscles in excruciating pain. The audience gasped in wonder. He fell down on the aisle with a thud and laid motionless with his face kissing the dirt. No one had ever witnessed such a dramatic portrayal of King Dasharatha’s death. A roar of applause went around with shrieking whistles, and Bishu Da did not stir an inch. It was only when he did not move after a full minute of ovation that the spectators seemed dubious. They pulled him up on the seat, sprinkled water on his face, half of which had already started to deform. He was taken down to a hospital at the next stop. The doctor called it a stroke that had left the right half of his body paralyzed. His speech was beyond comprehension, and he would not recognize anybody. We all grieved at the tragic turn of events, and I shuddered at the thought of him crawling up the aisles someday - dragging his numbed limbs, clothes torn and hair unkempt, eyes yellowed with blank stare of defeated expectance, holding out an aluminum bowl of coins to me - playing a beggar.