#i am. still getting a feel for cynthia's dialogue here i apologize

[shironaes-a]

“ what am i?”

let cynthia try to describe you | a

Trying to describe any trainer as accomplished as Serena is a daunting task; three words barely scratch the surface. To boil down years of experience, of otherworldly encounters, of doing so much that others can never truly comprehend: the things so many champions have dealt with and seen. Cynthia’s seen her own fair share of the world, of the terrible and terrific things that come from both ancient ruins and recent human curiosity. Even that knowledge doesn’t help narrow it down — but she can choose her words carefully, keep them vague, and still know that Serena will understand where she’s coming from.

“Someone like you, who’s seen so much — too many things for me to really pin down — deserves more than what I’m going to cover. But you’ll know what I mean when I say that anyone like yourself can be described as such: you are sincere, dedicated—”

“—And tired.”

[thankyoufinnick]

Commentary on the latest Mags’ War installment.

No matter how evil I am to my characters, I maintain that I’m nicer than Suzanne Collins. The most noticeable improvements in this chapter are 1) Cashmere’s survived! 2) Because of this, Finnick’s not going to go semi-catatonic.

It’s another one of those cases where plot and characterization dovetail: I’ve got plans for Finnick, and so he needs to be rather more functional, but also, a support system is like the number one most important thing you can have with PTSD. Now, Katniss is the furthest thing from being responsible for Finnick’s mental health, but I’ve always believed that if she’d had a completely different personality and been willing to go to him for help with her suffering, it would have helped him with his.

Well, Cashmere has a completely different personality than Katniss. She’s not in a position to help Finnick directly, advise him, comfort him, etc., but her not pushing him away gives him a human connection that makes all the difference to him. My Finnick suffers most when people push him away. You’ll see this theme reflected again and again throughout this series. Most notably, this is why Annie needing to be alone on some of her bad days is infinitely more difficult for him than when she wants him around on her bad days.

So, Cashmere and Finnick are there together, and they’re both better off for it. Though it’s going to be a long time before either of them is in a good place.

Somebody left a comment saying that “The character development that Mags had in this series makes her death even harder to handle!” Now, this delights my evil writer’s heart to no end, because it means I was successful in bringing her to life.

But what I wanted to talk about was how I chose to depict Mags’ death, and the Quarter Quell in general.

I am not a fan of authors trying to rewrite the same scenes from a different POV. In most cases, it just comes across as unoriginal. And repeated dialogue is usually extremely boring to me. I’ve seen it done well exactly once, by Cynthia Voigt in the Tillerman series, which is all around excellent and I can’t recommend it enough.

This is the main reason part 2 of Mags’ War avoids interactions with Katniss as much as humanly possible, focusing on Johanna before the tributes enter the arena, and Cashmere once they’re inside the arena. The scene where Finnick and Johanna and Mags talk about Katniss’s refusal to team up with them, and where they plan their arena strategy, is just about the closest I come to overlapping with the events in Catching Fire, and it’s still not my favorite scene.

In all other cases, I made a point of speeding past anything that would have repeated dialogue and blow-by-blow action too closely. For instance, writing Cashmere’s defection at the Cornucopia was unavoidable. That scene couldn’t be skipped. But Cashmere is deliberately focused on wildly different events than Katniss. In the middle of combat, she doesn’t even register that Gloss kills Wiress. She notices the arrow going in, and then by the time she’s processing sensory input again, we’ve diverged from canon: Finnick gets to her before Johanna. 

At that point, it’s a completely different scene, and the reader should be engaged in seeing what’s different (quite a lot). The dialogue then becomes extremely different.

By assuming the reader is familiar with canon, I deliberately omit certain events, such as the jabberjays, and only allude to them in passing later. I assume knowledge of Beetee’s plan, and throw into relief events that aren’t highlighted in canon, like the moment when Cashmere watches her brother’s face in the sky. Other than that, she’s by and large focused on grieving her brother, strategizing a way to stay alive long enough to kill Katniss, and justifying her defection (I feel like I may have handled her constant agonizing over this decision a little heavy-handedly, but I had to stop editing and post at some point). That chapter was all about Cashmere’s mental state, not the events of the arena.

I avoided repeating dialogue again by having Cashmere so focused on killing Katniss that she misses what Finnick says to Katniss (”Remember who the real enemy is”). Btw, the events of the Quarter Quell are extremely heavily movie-inspired.

With the very important exception of Mags’ death! You should assume Finnick carrying Peeta and Katniss carrying Mags for that one. The next chapter will open with Finnick dreaming about that, and that is a case where I’m rewriting an event from canon from a different POV. But, because it’s a dream after the fact, it’s not a step-by-step march through the events, and it’s again extremely focused on Finnick’s mental state, and the history of his relationship with Mags. It’s also got a bit of foreshadowing that I won’t spoil.

Another event that I sped past in this chapter was Katniss finding out about the revolution. 

As if to prove his point, she barges in with an energy that Finnick, still sluggish, could envy if he didn't know that she's in more pain than he is. At least I signed up for this, he tries reminding himself after she's carried away, unconscious.

He wouldn't have sedated her without at least the nominal consent Cashmere gave, but everything happened faster than he could process. He's left staring after her, trying to think of one reason Johanna won't hate him as much as Katniss after this.

Aaaand...that’s it. That whole scene, condensed into a couple dialogue-free sentences, completely with foreshadowing in the last sentence there.

Ditto when Finnick tries talking to Katniss after he goes to lie down.

Katniss doesn't feel like talking, and Finnick can't blame her. He doesn't have much comfort to offer.

This assumes you’ve read the scene in the book (yes, I’m skipping back and forth between book and movie-canon, sorry).

“Katniss. Katniss, I’m sorry.” Finnick’s voice comes from the bed next to me and slips into my consciousness. Perhaps because we’re in the same kind of pain. “I wanted to go back for him and Johanna, but I couldn’t move.” 

I don’t answer. Finnick Odair’s good intentions mean less than nothing.

And that, of course, is what I mean that if Katniss had a competely different personality, that scene could have played out very differently. Cashmere’s a lot more willing to interact with him, hear his explanation:

“You're out of the arena, and you're never going back. I couldn't tell you, but I was trying to get as many of us out alive as I could. That's why I wanted you with us.”

“I didn't know,” she whispers in horror.

Finnick remembers that Gloss is dead.

“I'm sorry I couldn't save your brother. I only ended up getting you, me, Katniss, and Beetee out alive and free. Johanna, Peeta, and Enobaria are prisoners of the Capitol. Everyone else is dead.”

“I thought you were going to kill me.” Cashmere is dazed. “I only thought you'd be quicker about it than Brutus.”

“I'm sorry I couldn't tell you. There's no way we could have saved anyone if word had gotten out.”

“But even if I knew,” and here she grows more agitated, “I couldn't have left my brother alone in the pack!”

“I know. You're incredibly loyal and brave. I'm sorry. I will say that until I die. I'm sorry I couldn't do more."

He strokes her hair and murmurs apologies until she relaxes a bit

[Discussion of arena strategy.]

“I'm sorry we couldn't tell you. I really am. But you're safe here now.”

Encouraged, Cashmere shifts enough to look at him. She doesn't ask, but there's a question in her eyes.

“If you ask Plutarch,” he answers, “you're on parole as long as you're with me. If you ask me, you're under my protection. Stay with me, and I'll keep you safe.”

She nods. “I'll do whatever you tell me to. I'll stay with you.”

And this is where a lot of canon-divergence begins. Stay tuned!