#i can't remember her name aflgdtrdhlgd

[psalmsofpsychosis]

It's the most random day in known human calenders to remember this on, but back in my university years there was this girl– we were the opposite ends of most conventional societal spectrums you could think of. She was the manifestation of every physical genetic lottery win basically, like, every single thing people pay thousands of dollars to get with fillers right now, she naturally had it, super gorgeous little thing. She was in the "hot party girls" squad of our faculty, surrounded by other trendy hot girls all the time, she always dressed in very luxurious ways, makeup on point etc etc. Meanwhile i was in my own corner showing up with care bear sleep pajamas with a puffer jacket thrown on top and a combination of sunglasses+thick scarf that basically covered everything that the sunglasses weren't already covering (this is not a joke, i have pictures.), and like, i was the designated Unbearable Intellectual TM, getting into fights with professors the few times a month that i could be assed to show up.

And the thing is, this hot girl had a strange bit going on where she'd literally get into a car accident every other month and spend at least a week of it in hospital, the rest of it sort of limping around from class to class. Nobody knew what was up exactly, and the first few times people would get shocked and stay around to ask about her day and sign her foot cast, but then it just sort of became the routine and nobody cared.

Except me. We really didn't have much to talk about and she was surrounded with her hot friends all the time anyway, but i would still sometime catch her around the corner and i'd wish her speedy recovery and ask about her day, it was nothing special.

And then sometimes she'd bring her lunch to eat with me and we'd talk about class assignments, she was the only person who'd bring her art projects to me and ask for color coordination and technique advice, and i'd offer whatever i knew. And over time i found out that sometimes talking to her was so much easier than talking to my own friends. She was warm and kind and so very, very simple and sincere. I was always in the top 3 of my class and she'd be along the bottom, trying very hard, and she wasn't a jealous person at all, so she'd freely tell me that she thinks that i'm intelligent and mature, and i'd tell her that i think she's gorgeous and sweet and dear even though she nags a lot, and we'd both laugh about it. We later found out that she actually lives like, two blocks away from me and there was a 1 hour ride to our university, so she offered to pick me up at 6am on class days and drive us both to uni, and yes it was very brave of me to get in the car with a girl who got into accidents every 4 business days, but i did it anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and we'd talk about stuff on our way, she was a good listener, and she was open and honest, so in the span of two weeks she knew more about my fuckhead father than i did and i knew about her sneaking around the block to avoid her insane abusive boyfriend for 3 peaceful hours. we went shopping together a few times too, and we'd practice color harmony and makeup brands and we'd pick lipstick colors that i thought would look good on her (i did a year of makeup school a long time ago).

I think that to everyone around us we were a super weird combination, i was confident and argumentative and she was an armcandy girl who didn't really need to develop a personality, except that none of it was true, because i was the girl who'd get her crutches from the corner of the class and accompany her out in the after-class rush, and she was the girl who was not intimidated by me being smart and saw it as a beautiful thing. Her friends did not like me, to them i was irrelevant because i wasn't hot, (and i ended up ripping a whole new asshole for one of them in my last year of uni too,) but she drove me to and from university for two years, never missing a day, and she gave me random hugs during the day too. She also told me one time that she's jealous of my cheekbones because hers are flat and i solid chocked on my cheap uni coffee because afljfdtdg girl you literally are that one time god felt proud when he scuplted a human body

We grew apart after i got out of uni, but i hope she's alright and well and healthy wherever she is 🥺❤️❤️ babygirl if you read this i hope you killed your boyfriend at last and got that faux fur coat you always wanted but couldn't match up with any of your other outfits!