#i dont believe i ever knew about mdzs before now. i need to find out whose drawings those are. its not me.

[sozotohakai]

Chris Love Letter

In theory it is like follow forever posts, but Love Letter felt more fitting~

It’s also been forever since I’ve done something like this, it’s high time I bury with love people!

Do know I’m honestly awkward with this kind of thing, my mind likes to blank out when I try to actually word compliments. Taking my time helped, but yeah, the Chris is awkward with words, would you believe that.

Read more because, as you might guess, it got long.

Organizing was hard because the “lines” are very thin, and everyone in this list has made a different impact on me. You’re all people I’m happy to have met, and enjoy whichever level of interaction we have~

Heart Family

Those who carved their way deep into my heart~

@skyfullofashes : We’ve called each other pack for a while now (and gosh I dont even recall how it was before knowing you), I’m so happy to know you and anytime I hear about anyone who hurt you, past or present, I feel my inner dragon twitch. You’re so lovely, you’ve been there for me so often, and I wish more people took the time to get to know you, you’ve been hurt so often and I deeply wish for you to receive love, I’m certainly going to make sure you never forget you’re part of my family. You’re loyal, you don’t take nonsense, and we’re both exactly the kind of people who can be hurt by others, find ourselves in situation where, for some reasons, others will hurt us. But that’s why we understood each other very early, and why I’ll do my best to always be there for you <3 Don’t get me started on how creative you are, especially with Heaven&Hell. I feel like I’ll never know enough, and I’ll always want to hear more about it, and all your ideas. I still feel awed at how much our Kanda&Allen developped, how much I love our Yullen, and melt at all the family feels with Michael and everyone.

@ask-cross-marian : I feel like we know each other so much, yet it is fun to realize that most that we know of each other, slipped through as we spazzed and chat and yelled about our muses. It feels so nice and so natural, how we just, slotted into place, as rp partners and as friends. I legit can’t remember a time I didn’t know you. You’ve certainly been there for me quite a few times, and I do hope I’ve given to you back, and that you know you are part of those I hold dearest and I’ll always be there for you. We’re both hilariously able to poof away for a while, and yet we always come back, and this is such a nice feeling. I love when you talk about your muses&OCs, and all our interactions make me a puddle of melted fluff. We also often ended up joking around, and I adore this so much!

@piamio : Sometimes I still recall when I was following you, thinking about I’d love to befriend you, and I marvel that it did happen, that we started talking and connected so well together. You always do your best, to feel you improve, to feel you’re doing better, and I see it happen and hope you can see it too. You’ve always been good, but I’ve seen you notice things, realize things, and I’m happy for you, and wish you the best. You’re a lovely person, a great artist, you’re creative, you have ideas for stories as much as you have talent for arts, and talent that seem within us is great, but you’ve also worked hard for your talents and you should never forget that. I feel offended for you when anyone so much as suggests you aren’t doing enough, or not doing well. I want to take them, shake them, and have them see you as I see you.

@alteriius: Among my heart family, I do believe we’ve known each other longest (no, no, I didn’t totally checked my archive to make sure; as it is its indeed in the first two/three weeks I had made Allen’s blog that we started threading!). It’s always been easy talking with you, and you’ve always made me feel safe. We’ve joked together, vented together, helped each other, and sometimes I still spazz with the hope&wish you’ve felt as happy knowing me as I am knowing you. I’ve lost contact with a lot of people once they stopped rping, and so I felt glad when it didn’t happen with us; but then again, I already knew long ago that to rp or not rp woudln’t change anything. I find it very funny, in a good way, that at some point we shifted to the group chat and stayed there, when I want to share with you I share with you both. Sometimes we’ve used our 1x1 chat I think? But yeah, its so fun how we just, went there and stayed there. That might be because we’ll tend to spazz a lot, and we happily spazz us three.

@skytroops : Gosh, I have to wonder, how many years has it been since we first met? I know I made Satoshi years ago for the first time, and I guess the best way to guess is whether or not you’ve known me when I was still in college, or recently out of college. My bet, however, is that we met somewhere in 2013. I certainly recall, however, how much fun we’ve always had speaking about our muses, about our verse, how much we built together, so much that even now, TR!Satoshi still exist as a muse (if now small). And even with hiatus, we never stopped coming back at each other. I hope you know you’re friend for life, someone I very much took under my wing and into my pack <3

Dear Friends

Those who I deeply appreciate and care about, not far from being heart family too~

@chibi-usapyon : We’ve gotten along so well, and it’s so fun how much we can chat about anything and everything. You’re so, lively and friendly, it feels like you have every positive/fun way of approaching, the way you chat always make me feel like you are a bubble of happy energy. It feels like we’ve been bonding well and it’s gotten stable, like you know, the initial thrill has shifted to a calmer thrill. I do have a hard time opening up, and because people have often be friendly, I don’t quite realize I’m considered a friend until I’m told. I’ve always enjoyed our chatting, I knew I wanted to chat with you more, but when you first clearly told me you saw me as a friend, I paused and felt a bubble of happiness. You’re my friend too, and I’m glad we met!

@lascivus : Can we take a moment to tease a certain person about how I’m pretty sure we’ve known each other more through our common friend than by chatting? We’re admitedly both shy, and I can recall at the start, I was shy to chat with you, and in the group chat. But soon enough, and totally through nerding, it just felt natural. That’s probably why I always end up in the group chat, I want to share with you as much as I share with Allen and so, group chat! But I do know you, through chatting and twitter and dash, and I’m awkwardly bad at realizing if someone consider me so, but I hope you don’t mind that I call you a dear friend~

Lovely people

Those I know in various degrees, that I’m glad to have met, who I love when I chat with them, and simply to see them~

@avellaturortem : You’re one of the few people that I’ve rped with for a while who is still around, and I’m super glad we still regularly talk, and I enjoy so much our threads, all the ideas we’ve thrown at each other. If you ever need, I’ll always be happy to listen to you about anything~

@manadcampbellrpblog : You’re such a sweetie, and I’ve seen how you sometimes feel shy to speak to me, but I hope you know you can always talk to me, and come back to me. I’ll always be happy to see your replies, but more importantly I’m glad to chat with you. You’ve always been very sweet, and I can practically feel how nervous not being an english speaker make you. I still recall when english wasn’t as easy as it is now, but never be afraid to speak and try and learn!

@shensheng-aoman : Listen, I don’t think we quite expected for Talon&Allen to slay us with adorableness, but they do and I love when we chat about them, but also just to chat with you. You’re lovely and it’s always a pleasure to see you around. Sometimes I spazz so much while wondering if it’s okay, but then I see you tell me you enjoy it, and I welcome you to spazz with me too~

@shuoshuzhe : The moment you told me you also knew DGM, I swear I grinned so hard. You’ve been adding so many muses too, and I know I’ll eye them sooner or later more. We’ve gotten some great threads started, and I’m eager to do these and more in the future. And then before we knew it, we’ve gotten deep into chatting MDZS, and I love this so much, and I feel like we’ll have fun chatting about anything and everything!

@moon--wake : I hope you are doing good! I initially only knew your JL but then I saw more of your muses, and the plot we’ve started have been great! It’s always been fun talking to you, and planning with you, I’m sending you all my best wishes <3

@forlorninquiry : I love so much our storyline, I think you’ve seen how I can suddenly spazz out of nowhere about it, but that’s because I do enjoy talking with you. I love seeing you on dash, and I love seeing how you write and talk of LWJ!

@dishengs : I remember you’ve been on the first rper in MDZS I met, and you’ve got such a lovely way of expressing WWX. It’s been fun letting Allen meeting him, and I’ll always be open to plot. You feel so friendly and so nice, and it’s always a pleasure to see you on dash!

@crowleiii : Krory and Allen are so sweet, one day we shall have them say brother in threads; and I enjoy how we chat about DGM, throwing theory around, slaying our feels more than half the time. I’m always glad to chat with you, and see you around!

@taoqidetuzi : You’ve been super friendly, very easy to talk to, and it feels fun to chat with you, and plot with you!

@ghostfluted : We haven’t talk as much yet as I have with other people, but you’ve felt from the start friendly, and I certainly enjoyed plotting with you!

@crystallizecrimsonbutterfly : Some day I’ll think of sending messages first to you, you always leave little messages for me sooner or later, and I always have a smile when I see you’ve done so. I’ve always enjoyed writing with you, and your Lenalee, I’ll happily continue threads or just plot the next event with you whenever you want; and I hope you’ve been doing good!

@dannyikigay : I couldn’t not give you some love (except tumblr being mean but that’s why I linked you), we’ve often talked with a share loved of a certain pairing as well as simple chatting, and we more often now see each other in the discord server (although I’m, ghostly a lot XD), but know you’re always welcomed to talk with me~

@ginnomme : One of the few people I know ship my rarer ships, and we’ve chatted a lot, it’s always fun and lovely when we do. I’ve seen you need time for yourself, but know I do think about you and I hope good things for you!

[professorjjong]

 me rambling about mdzs (the novel) bc it’s literally six am my body woke me up at 4 am for the sole purpose of finishing it and i finished it and then started reading the post script but it was like my heart was wylie coyote it wasn’t until a few minutes after i’d finished it that i realized i was destroyed

good book

sdkfjesiofhdcklwjfioe ok wei wuxian carries like the first fourth of the book. there’s so many fucking characters and names like wtf was going on. it wasn’t made clear what wei wuxian was doing or why--and tbh i don’t think it ever really is, his intentions. like, where was he planning to go after mo village? what was he planning on doing? when he leaves cloud recesses with lan wangji, why does he stay with him at all--why not just run the fuck off? he didn’t know, at this point, that lan wangji knew who he was so why would he risk it? the one thing that was made clear about wei wuxian’s intentions after he had been brought back to life were that he did not want to be recognized, so why would he stick around with lwj? 

for that first fourth, wei wuxian didn’t hesitate in where he was going or why or whatever he was just, going and doing things for no good reason and i didn’t know why and it was frustrating, following around a character who doesn’t seem to have any idea what he wants and also doesn’t even hesitate to think about it. but ugghhh he’s such an interesting character. his past, only teased, seemed super interesting and had created a man who interacted with his surroundings in a comedic and almost flippant way. it made the fantasy elements, buttload of information about cultivation and its sects and enemies as well as the sheer number of characters less intimidating--yes, because it probably wasn’t until almost halfway through that I was able to figure everything out, but i had wwx to hold onto. he’s a suuuuper strong character and was so, so fun to read about i miss him :( 

lwj truly didn’t do anything for me until near the very end when the events following the siege at the nightless city were revealed. i didn’t dislike him as a character, i thought he was fine--but i didn’t think he was as good of a foil to wwx as he could have been. i mean, they’re clearly meant to be foils--one is dressed in black and the other in white. u don’t even need to know anything else aside from that information to know that they’re foils. but i don’t think lwj was a strong enough presence to really “oppose” wwx for most of the novel. honestly, he didn’t even feel present for the first, what, 3/4? it wasn’t until wwx really started developing and even acting out on his feelings that lwj stepped into prominence. the emphasis of the novel, its focus, had shifted along with wwx’s toward lwj. compared to wwx, lwj is almost colorless as a character. yes hahahahahahha more color differences between them but i think, in order for characters to really function as foils, they need to be on equal footing, if only in the framing of the novel. but they weren’t. even during the flashbacks, there was an unevenness to it. at times, lwj felt almost like an afterthought. i remember myself thinking, ‘oh, lwj is there too.’ which yeah, he is quiet, but he’s there. his presence was not always made clear, and, since wwx is such a bright beacon and such an overwhelming chaotic presence, don’t you think lwj should have been a bigger presence to properly be his foil? it’s not until the very end, truly, that the two of them are able to bounce off of each other in a very fun and dynamic way--but, again, the veryyyyyy end. like, the last two chapters very end. 

aside from the plot hole i brought up in the first paragraph, there are some others, big and small. won’t bother to list them--but, and i mean maybe it’s in the additional chapters that i haven’t read yet, super upset we didn’t get to see the actual siege on burial mound. that moment would have been so fucking tense and cool and also would have just answered questions--like, was he killed as a backlash of his own power or was it jiang cheng or someone else who delivered the final blow? wtf was he thinking about as it was happening??? pls?? pls??? i want to know???

ok wait i do need to bring this up like WTF i cannot believe they did not explain wtf happend when wwx was on burial mound for three months and where the fuckkkkkkkkkkkk he learned about the dark magic. there was some throwaway line about a book and i’m just?? u expect me to believe there was jsut some crazy ass book like sitting on a tree stump among a bunch of dead-ass bodies, just waiting for someone to find it? Like seriously?? seriously?? even if there was such a fucking book who the fuck wrote it and why did they put it on the mountain and why did wwx decide that he needed to reclaim his power through it? why did he decide to use music, like the lan sect? why a flute? i have so many fucking questions!! AUTHOR!! AUTHOR!!!! PLEASE WHAT THE FUCK!!! 

also ok this isn’t a “plot hole” but a... theme... hole. a theme hole. i don’t fucking know but the book does a really good job throughout of bringing up mob mentality and other social behaviors when someone becomes the “enemy” of the group. they do this first with wwx and painstakingly set up how much of it is fabrications or exaggerations or bandwagoning, etc. and even why this happened--the people were still hurt by what had happened with the wen sect and, fearful of another force building up its power, it was easy for them to focus their animosity on wwx (the fact that it was him and the remaining wen clan didn’t help either, obvs). so, we’re sympathetic toward wwx because, not only have we been following him for the first half of this novel (by the time we go far enough into the past to learn about what happened when and after he became the yiling patriarch) and because we know his true intentions are pure. he’s a good guy at the end of the day. yeah he did some really, really bad shit during the war and was using a “twisted” ability, but he was trying to help people (also this book clearly has the message that revenge =  good which is,, interesting? i have certainly never read a book before that justifies revenge. usually, the morale is that revenge is never quite nice. see the count of monte cristo (the book, obviously). so, in the moral universe set up in this book, wasn’t wwx totally justified in his actions, however terrible, against the wen sect bc they destroyed the jiang sect? not saying i think that way, just that i think the story expects us to think that way). so, our set up to rumors and badmouthing by people is that it’s wrong, right? and that the other person doesn’t deserve it, no matter what they may have done? it just leads to more and more lies and should be stopped, right? we didn’t like it happening to wwx, who was also frustrated by it both in flashbacks and in the present, so, when it happens to the villain..... it’s okay? our protagonists dont’ have to rise up to defend him, even if he did do wrong? wwx just thinks ‘well, at leeas they weren’t this shitty to me’ and that’s fuckKING IT?? REALLY??

like this is the second ot last scene of the entire fucking story and that’s the fucking note it ends on? there’s nothing else?? no other perspective on responding to mob mentality that we’re going to get?? didn’t wwx die bc of mob mentality and, rather than trying to clean up his perception, he just maintained his behavior and quietly accepted being called evil???? doesn’t that mean it’s bad??? but they just?? let it happen??? again???  that’s the note?? author??? author??? is it all ok that people talk this way even when it leads to people getting killed??? author??? author?????????????? 

i think i got enough of my feelings out now to go read the additional chapters. peace