#i dont believe in the afterlife or spirituality or god or any of that shit. none of it. but i hope i get to see her again

[violet-moonstone]

incoming rant about my upbringing - this is not about all christians, but my family specifically and a lot of the christians i grew up around

fun thing about my family - most people in my (very religious christian) family know jack shit about other religions (and honestly very little about christianity itself - they were taught to be compliant, not knowledgable). growing up, whenever i heard people talk about other faiths it was either to demonize them or to speak about them in a condescending way (or go: yes, its important to respect other people but remember that what they believe is invalid and we got it right...oh also dont think about that too long or else you might question your faith and that's wrong)

someone in my family just learned recently (as in like...within the last 3 years) that islam is an abrahamic religion. She's spent decades just assuming they worship an entirely different god. people at my "friendly accepting church" have laughed at a joke in a sermon where the punchline was someone believing in god but not in jesus' divinity - because haha that's such a ridiculous concept??? (wait until they learn about judaism, it'll fucking blow their minds). my family talked about hinduism like it was backwards for being polytheistic (same rhetoric used to justify the enslavement and colonizing of our ancestors but ok). They also think reincarnation is silly - which to me as an agnostic is fucking wild considering that (imo) no belief in the afterlife is inherently more logical or more valid than any other.

its particularly fun (not) to hear them talk about wiccans as if theyre demonic cultists scheming to take down christianity (i used to dabble in wicca and im still interested in it, so those were fun conversations to have)

they also speak similarly about atheists and ex-christians (who they call backsliders). love feeling like an outsider in my own home. love hearing people who say they love me also talk about how turning away from god is the greatest sin that cannot be forgiven. its nice to know just how conditional their love is.

i used to think i disliked religion but thats not true - i love (and miss!) community, shared stories, and spiritual comfort

what i actually dislike is the way close-minded people in my family have combined their religious beliefs with being proudly ignorant and bigoted

I would love to be part of a spiritual/religious community...just a better one

[milofuckedup]

Questionnaire; task 2

read more about my boy under the cut

Basic Character Questions

First name?  Milo

Last names? Blevins

Middle names? Dean

Nicknames? Mi, Mimi, Spacey

Date of birth? September 9th 1996

Age? 23

Physical / Appearance

Height? 6″0

Build? Athletic, lanky

Hair colour? Honey Brunette

Hair style? Mess of locks across his head

Eye colour? Blue

Glasses or contact lenses? Neither

Scars or birthmarks? cigarette burns across his arms, a scar above his right eye

Tattoos? none

Physical or mental handicaps? none

Type of clothes? thrift store chic. He lives in light washed jeans and old button down shirts

Race / Ethnicity? caucasian 

Mannerisms? fidgety, stuttery, always rubbing his lips 

Personality

What words or phrases do they overuse? “im sorry” “lets play a game” “can we go home?”

Do they have a catchphrase? No

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? pessimistic

Are they introverted or extroverted? VERY introverted

Do they ever put on airs? no

What bad habits do they have? smoking, drinking, running away 

What makes them laugh out loud? just about everything

How do they display affection? gently nuzzling his head into you, resting his head on your shoulder, holding your hand. He likes to be touched softly

How do they want to be seen by others? like a nice person, someone who loves deeply and genuinely 

How do they see themselves? as actual human garbage 

Strongest character trait? sensitivity 

Weakest character trait? sensitivity 

How competitive are they? not at all

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? he over things EVERYTHING

How do they react to praise? awkwardly

How do they react to criticism? crying

What is their greatest fear? spiders

What are their biggest secrets? he is sure that everyone in his life hates him, they all want him gone, so he works with everything that he has to try and get people to stay

When was the last time they cried? right now, he is probably crying this moment. 

What haunts them? his father

What will they stand up for? his friends, his loved ones, never himself

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? indoorsy

What is their sinful little habit? chainsmoker 

What quality do they most value in a friend? honesty, loyalty, wont leave him

What do they consider an overrated virtue? Dignity 

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? his inability to speak about what he wants, what he likes, what he needs from someone

What is their obsession? reading

What are their pet peeves? people biting their nails. 

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? hes all alone. 

What is their perception of family? that it isnt who you are born with it is who you chose. 

Do they have siblings? Older or younger? none

Describe their best friend. Luna Olsson she is selfless, and thoughtful and has picked Milo up more times than he can count, she is the on person on this planet he trusts enough to live with, he loves her more than he thought he could, he has let her in more than anyone else. 

Ideal best friend? See Above

Describe their other friends. Hudson the person he always turns to when life gets too tough. Tanner  the man that he can always have fun with, turn his brain off with and just let himself breathe with. Rion someone who has always been perfect and loving and gentle with him. 

Do they have any pets? no 

Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? he was a quiet baby, and a well behaved child, he did everything that he could to get his mother to stop abandoning him  

Did they grow up rich or poor? DIRT poor

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? neglected 

What is their greatest achievement? staying alive

What was their first kiss like? awkward, fumbly, he threw up afterwards because his stomach was in knots

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? make them feel like they were second best

What are their ambitions? maybe get his GED one day

What advice would they give their younger self? its all shit, dont even bother trying

What smells remind them of their childhood? burning tires, old gas stations, and piss under bridges

What was their childhood ambition? to stay alive

What is their best childhood memory? his 10th birthday his best friend came over with a cupcake and remembered the day while his mom was drugged up on the couch

What is their worst childhood memory? take your fuckin pick. 

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? no

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? every day 

What past act are they most ashamed of? any time he has ever been intimate with someone 

What past act are they most proud of? any time he has been intimate with someone 

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? no 

Are they in a relationship? no 

How do they behave in a relationship? like a lovesick puppy, very clingy, very needy, asks if they still love him every twenty five seconds 

When did you character last have sex? two years ago

Has your character ever been in love? yes

Have they ever had their heart broken? yes

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? tears

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? his tongue 

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? the teddy bear his grandma gave him

What do they love to hate? reality television 

What are their phobias? spiders, the dark, being alone

What living person do they most despise? no one 

Have they ever been bullied or teased? his whole life 

Where do they go when they’re angry? on a long drive to the next town over 

Who are their enemies and why? he doesnt like to have any 

Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current job? gas station clerk 

What do they think about their current job? he hates it

What are some of their past jobs? gas station clerk, thief, drug dealer

What are their hobbies? reading, writing, singing 

Educational background? didnt get ANY formal education

Do they have a natural talent for something? singing 

Do they play a sport? Are they any good? god no 

What is their socioeconomic status? lower lower lower class 

Favourites

What is their favourite animal? cats 

What place would they most like to visit? england 

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? the beach at night 

What is their favourite song? halloween - hunny 

Music, art, reading preferred? music: indie. Art: abstract. Reading: character studies 

What is their favourite color? green

Favourite food: chicken tenders and fries

What is their favourite day of the week? friday night

Possessions

What is in their fridge: ketchup, sauces, lemons

What is on their bedside table? books, a glass of water 

What is in their car? absolutely nothing

What is in their purse or wallet? his id, and his library card

What is in their pockets? a packet of gum, his phone, his empty wallet, his keys, two rings that he takes on and off 

What is their most treasured possession? his book collection

Spirituality

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? doesnt have one

Do they believe in the afterlife? no

What are their religious views? none

What do they think heaven is? a full fridge and your best friends 

What do they think hell is? other people

Are they superstitious? no 

What would they like to be reincarnated as? a house cat

How would they like to die? car accident or sleep 

What is your character’s spirit animal? field mouse

What is their zodiac sign? virgo

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? abandonment 

When did they last lie? he doesnt really lie, he mainly omits truths

what is their view of lying? he hates it, thinks its despicable 

When did they last make a promise? last week 

Did they keep or break their last promise? he broke it

Daily life

What are their eating habits? whenever he can, he will eat whatever is in front of him. 

Do they have any allergies? pollen 

Describe their home. small, dingey, covered in books, a bed on the floor, empty fridge 

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? clutter hoarder 

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? sleep, he just finished the night shift

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? go for a walk and take a picnic

What do they do on a Friday night? stay in and read

What is the soft drink of choice? sprite

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? whiskey neat

Miscellaneous

Who is their hero? he doesnt have any

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? dracula

If they could save one person, who would it be?

If they could call one person for help, who would it be?

What is their greatest extravagance? he owns an iphone 5 

What is their greatest regret? hurting angel @angclhqs​

What would they do if they won the lottery? buy a house, donate the rest

Do they believe in happy endings? no 

What is their idea of perfect happiness? a good book, electricity on, and a cup of tea 

What would they ask a fortune teller? how long until I am content

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? 2200 

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? invisibility 

[leila-khaled]

renaissance, symbolism!

Symbolism: (Spiritualism)Are you religious, and/or do you have items that bring you closer to God?

im muslim and struggled with religion for a long time bc i had trouble resonating w other muslims or conforming to the image of what a “good” muslim is expected to be...the biggest one for me was hijab...i just, no matter which way i sliced it or tried to rationalize it... placing the burden on girls as soon as they hit puberty(so we’re talking 12 and 13 yr olds here) to cover up and putting them to the same standards as the sick men(pedophiles rather) who see them in a sexual light, is sexualising children. this was just against my principles and everything i stand for but i had been taught since childhood that wearing hijb is mandatory and because i was trying so hard to be a “good” muslim i wore it for a couple years, nothing changed i still faced street harrasment and stalking and i had to fight my entire faily to take it off. i couldnt do this any more. and this just strengthened my resolve to stop forcing myself to do things i dont believe in. this is where i started seeking out works by muslim female scholars and discovered that all along EVERY. SINGLE. thing. i had difficulty accepting and rationalizing was simply a result of 

1)patriarchal interpretations of religious texts dominating our understanding of islam and 

2)the lack of platform for female scholars on issues pertaining to women. 

things like: hijab, the bs about pious men being “awarded” women in the afterlife as if women were objects, wife beating being ok etc etc turns out none of this was ever there in religious texts, it was all a product and fabrication by men abusing their authority to distort our understanding of islam. 

...shit i didnt realise i had typed so much but the tldr is i think im committed to islam but on my own terms, i reject what feels intuitively wrong to me and ive found that my heart is always in the right place whenever i reach these kinds of conclusions so i trust my instincts. a lot of muslims would not consider me religious but that doesnt matter to me anymore