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#i dont like the ending and idk how to fix it just take it
svnflowermoon · 4 months
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why can i literally not function at school like i swear i'm trying i just can't focus????
#luc posts#like i take notes but then i get bored and the doodle on the side of my page thst was meant to take 5 seconds took 10 minutes :(#and then im lost and bc im lost i get all fidgety and i keep doodling and then jts just a cycle#if i work for 20 minutes i feel like ive ran a marathon and i have to take a 40 minutes drawing/staring into the distance break#and im gonna fail maths but theres literally nothing i can do no matter what i do I can't focus for over 20 minutes at a time#and then its the end of class and i feel guilty bc oh i didnt do any work :( like i feel bad and i want to fix it but idk whats wrong so ho#can i fix it if i dont know whats wrong with meeeee#ugh#it literally makes me want to cry am i just lazy is that what it is am i literally useless why cant i work#like i was so ahead kf the average grades and i never learnt to study and now ugh i dont know how to function so i just dont#and it doesn't help that my friends are all geniuses#like they complain about their one mark away from full marks and im just like OH MY GOD if i could just focus then i coukd do so well#likr ok i guess i wont mention tjst i failed that test bc yall sre complaining about getting one mark off fukl makrs#likr fuckkkk okay i have so mucb potential why di i waste jt :(((((#i hate school so mucb#i genuinely consider dropping out sometimes like I CANT DO THIS hiw do these peiole di ut how hiw how someone tell me how to function#like these peiole getting top marks withiut eben truijgn and i tyr and i cant fishcis so i fail snd then ufh i want to die#bc its so embarassing i eas like top 10% of the class a few years ago and now i just cant function like how do these peiple do itso#someone explain ot me how oieolem focus and dony get distracted and ginish things kike ugh
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kate-m-art · 11 months
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Keep seeing Zelda movie news reactions and like feel like my only contribution right now is I'd much prefer live action to an illumination style animated movie...
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starlooove · 6 months
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He is in fact not cool with his friends killing people he just can’t do shit about it and the fact that he thinks he can do smth about (and does!) when it comes to his kids is like a major point
#like one of the main#Idk if theme is the right word#but issues surrounding Batman in general and Gotham specifically#is the high standards he holds not just those closest to him to but also the people he controls#NOW DONT GET CAUGHT UP IN UR GUT REACTION CONTROL IS A STRONG WORD BUT IM USING IT FOR A REASON#like i think the fandomification of the batfamily and seeing every character as reliable in the way they tell their own stories#is making people forget that yes bruce lowkey controls them#like not in a mean way or whatever but as much as dick and Jason rebel and say ‘fuck you old man I have my own people to take care of’#at a snap of Bruce’s fingers where are they?#right back in Gotham#which ppl say is an issue with writing and I agree like they really just can’t take anyone away from Gotham#but THATS meta like the in universe conclusion is what creates in universe analysis#and these issues are being spoken about from an in universe pov#that was just me justifying my point anywayyyd#what im saying is that like#in conclusion Ppl are forgetting that Bruce is scary and still runs this shit lmao#like a few snappy quips about emotional distance and some ‘X deserves better’ fics is making yall forget shit like spyral#or at least how it went down and ended up today and what that says about the characters involved#it’s tragic and Ik we like to ignore that but like. when look at shit like the no killing rule#yes bruce thinks he’s being slighted or failing whenever his kids kill someone and they to an extent think that too which is why they don’t#do it#or at least partly#even for Jason that’s why the killing is not just what needs to be done it’s a form of rebellion for him#everyone who agrees jason should just leave Gotham but still present as pure rebellion and anger and spitting at Bruce don’t get why Jason#should leave is all I’m saying#that’s why Dick never got away#it’s still all about Bruce#even if we don’t want it to be#reading this back it’s disjointed as hell but I’m not fixing it if u get it ily heh just a peek into my dark mind#if u don’t it’s not ur fault not everyone can withstand the alphas prowess…
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#i spend so mad god damn time bitching on this website. its bc i dont talk to ppl. whens the last time i had a non functional conversation?#uuuuhhh last weekend or maybe the weekend before that? so like i gotta complain somewhere. so if i stop complaining u can assume i made#friends lmao. ugh. its just. im worried. im worried abt how this semester is gonna go. how this phd program is gonna go#bc i spent the last 2 years destroying myself. realized ive gotta stop doing that. haven't figured out how to stop and now im gonna triple#the amount of pressure im under while trying to do things in a more healthy way. its just like. it objectively doesnt seem like a formula#for good things to happen. im more worried for how catastrophic its gonna b on my brain than i am abt the things i think most ppl would b#concerned abt. like im not worried abt planning and executing a project or teaching beyond fear of the unknown#its like. ive done these things before. theyre difficult but u make due and tackle the problems. but when it comes to: how to maintain a#healthy school/life balance? i dont even kno where to start with that. i just dont bc when u have a learning disability things just take#more time but like how much time is too much? where does it end? i dont kno how to manage it and i dont wanna hate my project by the end#of this. i want to b excited and not paralyzed bc im afraid i cant change my behavior and its gonna kill me#and im worried bc im meeting with my advisor for the 1st time since march before i agreed to join thr lab and have i prepared for this#project which is almost complete unrelated to what i did in my last lab? no bc ive been managing data and im still not done managing data#bc i cant focus bc i collected that data in a way that was actively self destructive. and i mean i kno itll b fine. thr guy seems nice i#just hate that im showing up devoid of enthusiasm bc its all been drowned out by the fear. and thats also gonna make teaching a problem#bc its hard to b excited abt things when there's a hole in your chest and ur desperate for someone to tell u how to fix it. but idk helping#ppl does usually make me feel better so maybe itll b a good thing. forgot how much i feel like im dying when i sit in meetings and#classroom tho lol. god its been 2yrs since i was a student. classes feel like such bullshit now. and yet if i dont get all As i might die#my students better b good. i have the 1st lab section bc thr lead ta couldnt do that time. so im the trial lab and i start fucking Monday#who tf does labs the 1st week of class? ugh. also its an intro bio so like 2/3 of thr class r freshman. lil bby 18yos and some r non bio#majors. and ive been warned that sometimes there r problems with ppl who don't believe in evolution and cause problems. pls let my classes#b good. im not that worried. its just gonna b annoying as fuck. im not good at being authoritative#ugh. i should b reading papers so i dont look like too much of an idiot tomorrow. itll b fine im just an anxious freak. a lil over a week#until i can try to find a therapist. probably seek medication bc i dont kno how else to stop this bullshit. annoying. i grew up with a dad#who gets anxious abt the idea of taking too much medication when he tskes a single ibuprofen. in this household we feel pain and then we#die miserable. this is all his fault. we have the same brain.im just a lil more irradidic than him#its so funny i say that bc im like the least irradic person ever. i do the same things every god damn day. im just irradic in terms of#sometimes i feel like my brain is on fire and im a cry bby lol#whatever. enough bitching. ive got papers to read. or maybe ill just go to bed and read them tomorrow 🙄#unrelated
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piplupod · 6 months
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i think what upsets me most, besides the fact that this means no more accordion unless i somehow miraculously get it fixed, is that despite my best efforts to be careful and not mess up, i still managed to make a mistake and fuck it up. despite understanding and appreciating how expensive and valuable and fragile this instrument is, despite my best efforts to keep it safe and in good condition, i still managed to mess up and damage it.
like ... I just mess up. I have something nice, something of value, and I cannot seem to keep it safe and taken care of. things end up ruined. shirts get holes, dresses get stains, electronics get battery acid leaking or cracked, dishes get broken, book pages get torn or bent, trinkets get chipped, instruments are bonked and rattled. i am so terrified of handling anything that things most often just stay sitting in lidded bins so they are safe from carpet beetles and dust and dirt and food and me.
i just feel awful, i dont understand why I can't just keep things safe and in good condition ?? why is this so impossible for me, especially when i care so much ??
#i think this is partially why i dont allow myself any good art supplies#I got a set of charcoals several years ago and I've barely touched them bc im terrified of fucking them up#but if i get smth from the dollar store? that stuff is getting used immediately#bc its cheap and its not very good quality#im not afraid of using things up. im afraid of ruining them#im such a careful person too but i just. always end up fucking up some time#idk what is wrong w me#this sounds so melodramatic but god im tired#i still feel sick that my nice shirt from the 70s got a tiny hole burned into it bc of fire sparks that i didnt know were around#like i just. cannot have nice things idk. i have the absolute worst luck it seems like. or maybe i just am not careful enough#idk how to be any more careful though honestly fhfkdl#like i either keep things stored away safely sealed up or i am exceedingly careful in handling them#and do everything i can think of and find out to make sure nothing happens#and yet !#i just feel like a massive idiot for this idk fhfmkl silly me to think i could be trusted w this instrument#there are some websites and videos teaching ppl how to fix accordions but... its complex#but i either attempt a fix myself or never play it again bc getting a professional is too expensive#so ... i guess I'll have to take the dive and tinker w it if i want even a chance at playing again#im just terrified I'll break it even further#also i dont think i have access to everything I'll need for fixing it depending on whats gone wrong#so idk if it'll even be possible even if its doable like. i need Tools and leather and felt#i have spare leather scraps but no felt :|#and no special pliers fjfkdl#argh argh im so upset w myself for this#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years
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In my head *cough, fantasies* RGG isn't so centered on their need to 'one game only' their villains, and allow the characters they already have to expand and grow beyond those games. (Ryuji-though he came back in Dead Souls, Mine, Aizawa) they do a good job making really compelling, interesting characters and then have to speed run to their demise. It's unfortunate, but I do understand they were operating with 'there might not be another game after this so we don't want to get too far ahead of ourselves' much of the time. Hell I don't even need redemption arcs, just..not having death be the only answer, if that makes sense? Or I just get to attached to the well-done villains. Heh. (chaoszonenate)
noooo it makes me sooo pissed actually just because kiryu (and even ichiban !!) Every Time preaches about people's capabilities to start over and so long as you have a will to go on you can right your wrongs but !!!! these fucks aren't ever given that chance and i'm over it !!!!!!!!!
if no redemption arc for them then at the very least let them go to jail idk- just stop killing them because the game's over
#snap chats#spoilers#because im going to get into spoilers becaUSE EVERY TIME THIS TOPIC'S BROUGHT UP WE KNOW WHAT I GOTTA SAY#AOKI'S DEATH WAS STILL THE DUMBEST AND STUPIDEST SHIT EVER LIKE UGH#aoki's death is LITERALLY like. the primest example of what is wrong with this trope from RGG#like the ending of Y7 could have been so beautiful and good and meaningful had aoki survived#take him to prison and let him start to atone for what he did the RIGHT way#UGH I GET SO MAD CAUSE IT WAS LOOKING SO GOOD TOWARDS THE END AND THEN KUME FUCKIN#CHEKHOV'S FUCKIN KUME I GUESS i hate this game so much#i hate this game because i love it so much BUT the ending the ending is literally the only thing stopping me from adoring Y7 1000%#that and the mirror face moment but like. Fine Whatever i'll look over it if it means joon-gi cancels aoki live on twitter#back to mine tho. cause i mean. We Know Me. i really wish he lived just to see daigo's reaction#like i can't even begin to imagine how daigo would react to learning about everything mine did- what mine was GOING to do too#GOD i really dont know.... i REALLY dont know because daigo's a good man but that's SUCH a big betrayal#i feel like kiryu would've accidentally wing manned for mine though yk what i mean#listen if he's willing to tell daigo mine wouldn't betray him then im sure he'd help daigo understand that like#Ok Mine's Deranged But We Can Fix Him :) like father like son you know GOD theyre idiots but i love them like family#ok im prob gon run out of tags if i keep going i can save all that fr a fanfic idk BYYYYEE
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gaystardykeco · 1 year
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not ready to go back to work tomorrow but luckily im so not ready that my brain isn't letting it fully process and so im just kind of numb except for little moments when the panic breaks through again
#feeling more and more like a robot and less and less like a person the emptier my life gets#the future is so empty like its just work and isolation forever#i have one thing left at the end of this week and then after that its just work and family and alone#and i think numbing out completely is really the only way ill be able to cope at all#i didnt used to really be able to do that but maybe now im to the point where i just have to so its become an option#idk i also might just be lying to myself and be about to get hit really hard with how bad this all is tomorrow#job interview friday. but plausibly i dont think i can take the job even if i get it bc i just dont think i can move to nyc#i just feel like ive hit a dead end#like i was a side character in someone elses story and that person has moved on so im just like floating in stasis#bc my part of the story is over i wrote myself out of their lives so i don't really exist anymore#idk my brain is telling me all these things that i know are silly but feel so true and i just am tired and empty#sorry to be dramatic and complain again just dreading work so bad#i just dont see any path forward thats not this forever loop like i cant make or have real connections with other ppl#and thats whats supposed to make a life real and worth living#but ive never had the capacity to connect right and ive never had passion for anything and ive never been able to really love and be loved#and i dont know how to fix any of it bc honestly i dont think any of its fixable#ill always be an emotionally harmful drain on anyone i think i love and ill always be left when they realize that#and then ive just hurt another person and i dont want to be a person that just hurts people so i cant be around people anymore#but its so empty and its so lonely and i hate myself so fucking much#anyway. i sound like a pathetic whiny teenager lmao sorry i know how stupid it all is i promise
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biolums · 1 year
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does anyone know when life is supposed to calm down. does anyone know when it all ends
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bee-ina-boat · 1 year
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idk if this is an autistic thing or whatever but oh my god why is writing so HARd? like, im afraid of constantly implying things other than what they mean
"does this sound like im demonizing mental illness?"
"what if this makes it seem like i think the answer to struggling with mental health is suicide?"
"what if this relationship comes off as toxic,"
"does this seem like x character is trying to fix y? what if it reads like x is being manipulated to try and help y?"
"did i accidentally give x a savior complex?"
"does y come off as an abuser just because they did bad things out of desperation? what if giving y a happy ending ends up feeling like abuser sympathizing?"
"how do i make y's character arc without it feeling like they suddenly realized something obvious and were fixed magically"
writing is hard
#ok context#y is being consumed by a godlike power that is overwhelming their mind to the point they have trouble controlling it#its like being stuck in perpetual overstimulation with frequent meltdowns and since they have god powers that can cause alot of damage#x was friends with y but then shit happens and x decides they want y to go away but y doesnt know how to handle that and instead lashes out#blah blah blah they seperate and plot happens#everyone just thinks y is a brat throwing tantrums for not getting what they want but then x realizes the truth thru some magic shit#more plot#x ends up saving y from losing themselves in the confusing hellscape of their mind#x wants to help y heal but thats hard because no one can fix y's mind they just have to work through it. the end#originally the ending was gonna be x takes away all of y's pain and then y decides they want to reincarnate to get another chance at a life#buut 1. that may be a bad message and 2. i dont want to get rid of this character because i love them and i want them to have a healing arc#but i also dont want it to seem like x has a savior complex and is gonna magically fix y#and also y literally had a bad codependency with x before their friendship got ruined and i feel like this would be bad too?#so i THINK im gonna go for an outcome where x does what they can but still keeps boundaries and encorages y to help themselves more#and y will make more friends and learn how to exist without being in mental anguish all the time#idk maybe some other characters will help and come up with a solution so y doesnt have to deal with chaos in their brain all the time#but anyway do yall UNDERSTAND???#I FEEL LIKE IM OVERCOMPENSATING AND NOT COMPENSATING ENOUGH AT THE SAME TIME#HOW DO I WRITE NATURALLY AND NOT BE AFRAID OF MISCOMUNICATION#FUCK#.txt#autism#actuallyautistic
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why am i becoming a catgirl now
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radiotorn · 4 months
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having to restrain from saying anything when my dad dares to say that men get paid LESS than women. in what world. are you out of your fucking mind old man.
#ow.err#IN WHAT WORLD ARE MEN PAID LESS THAN WOMEN.#like. i shouldnt be surprised he said that bc he watched and/rew t/ate and jo/e rog/an so like. of fucking course he'd think that.#but like dude. you have no idea what youre talking about.#and there is NO WAY im gonna even try to tell him otherwise bc he is. loud. yk.#im just gonna. leave that there. bc its not my responsibility to 'fix' my parents as much as id love to try.#its just not my responsibility. and itll prob just end in me getting screamed at anyways since they wont listen to me or anything i say#cuz im still a kid in their eyes ! ! ! !!!! ! ! so cool ! ! ! ! ! !#almost 20. father doesnt think i know how to wake myself up w/o being woken up by someone else.#SO INSULTING BTW. i always get up on time. no matter what. nearly 20 and he thinks im a fking child still#both my mom and dad do but my dad does it in an 'underestimating' me way and my mom does it in a 'tries to overly coddle me' way#you know? i dunno. i dunno. i wanna move out but money is so fked rn. and idk how to do like. anything. so im just...#gonna do my classes and try to get a nice job and save up for awhile before i actually move out to my own place#im also kind of scared bc idk if ill have the. will to care for myself once i move out. like im worried ill just let myself die#sso. things to. work on before i get out of here i guess. but the thing is this environment will not let me heal. ahhh !!!!!!!!!#the only way out is through!!! through and scared!!!!!!!!!!!! tmrw marks the start of my life potentially starting to change. for the bette#but still changing. and oh man. im very nervous. its scary#cuz like. i didnt think id live past like 12 ??? so to be almost 20 and very behind on 'adult things' is. scary?daunting?#it all almost feels unreal. like im reaching a part of my life i never thought id actually reach. it feels like ive been living on#borrowed time since 12 so now im like. damn i have to live dont i. i have to actively make this life worth living now#some days i still worry itll be my last but ... im just gonna try to take it one step at a time. its all i can do.#be as prepared as i can. and take it one step at a time. i clutch onto the hope that my life will get better#and i clutch onto it with an iron grip. because damn it. it has to get better than this. it has to.#wow this got derailed. oh well my poast my rules.
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panicfable · 6 months
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gibbearish · 7 months
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ive always had issues with the term "terminally online" mostly because of how it swiftly devolved to just mean "anyone online i disagree with", however recently it did finally click for me when someone messaged me about my aaron bushnell posts and ended it with "yeah idk i just think it would've done more good for him to stay alive and donate to esims for gaza" bc i just. like. where do you even start with that. like that to me is an opinion that cannot come from anywhere other than having your entire frame of reference for activism and the united states military be gathered online. you really think someone who thought they had to /kill themselves/ to avoid /active contributions to genocide/ would've done more good just. keeping their head down and doing what they were told and throwing a spare couple dollars at the esims fund? do you think you know more about the harm he was helping do than he did, that you can speculate on how best to outweigh it? do you think if "donate to esims" was actually a more productive option he wouldnt have picked that before SELF IMMOLATION???? and like ive since blocked that person because of some other issues but. it took quite literally everything in me not to say anything about it in the moment
#origibberish#and like obv donating is helpful but like. idk it just struck me as immensely presumptuous and just. so far disconnected from the actual#issue that i just sat there staring at the message box for like 30 seconds before i tried to start responding#also this absolutely isnt to say that suicide was the best option#its to say when you know nothing about a person except that they thought they were doing so much harm that#suicide was the only way to stop it. it strikes me as pretty fuckin weird to assume you know more about how he couldve done better#and like i can see how they got there‚ donating to esims is pretty much all /we/ can do to help so i can see that sinking in as like#a requirement? but idk#at a certain point you have to ackowledge that that kind of thing is like. the online help. thats the help you do if you have no way to#directly effect things. it's helpful but it's also a way to let people /feel/ like theyre helping‚ to feel less helpless abt it#it's the barest minimum assistance a completely uninvolved person can give. it is not a magical end genocide spell where#if enough people do it that WILL fix things#like. it's just the airbag. the crash is still happening. having more airbags won't stop the crash and you're yelling at the driver for#choosing to jump out of the flaming wreckage rather than buy more airbags#like. it's the barest minimum. therefore i really dont think it wouldve outweighed an active contributor continuing to contribute.#and like i know nothing about his position or what those contributions mightve been but thats my point is that#i know nothing except that /he/ thought it was bad enough that it was worth doing this#and then i ask myself how bad something i was being made to do would have to be for me to take that route out#and i go 'wow yeah it was probably pretty fuckin bad'#idk. idk what my point in posting this really is except that its been weighing on my mind since the convo#i feel like part of it too is like. a reaction to the weird glorification of him#like some peoples reaction has been 'wow what a hero' and so people are rushing to go 'no suicide is never heroic its always bad' and im#just like. hey. maybe we shouldnt assign a moral value in either direction to deciding not to be alive anymore.#maybe deciding not to live should be considered an entirely personal decision given that the person it effects#most is that fucking person. maybe we need a refresher course on how bodily autonomy also includes things#you personally disagree with and that self harm and suicide are not exempt from that.#because like saying 'suicide is Bad And Evil' doesnt make suicidal people Less Suicidal#it just makes them feel even worse about themselves for something they dont have control over#and conversely ive seen posts being like 'im suicidal and this glorification of him almost made me commit‚ you people#almost killed me' and im like. no u dont get to say that‚ if this is effecting ur mental health its ur responsibility to log off
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#i truely have so much anger built up inside me about my job. ive done a very good job of making it unbearable#and after taking a 10 day vacation. plus 2 days of not working bc im sick. i really dont wanna go back#i was planning to take 3 days to not do fucking anything but my boss just emailed me with some time sensitive#logistical things. so like i guess i gotta fucking do that tomorrow. i started reading the email and it made my head hurt#and she started it off like. hopw ur feeling better and i dont wanna cause stress but...#like bro. listen. if u tell me these things u put them in my head and i csnt stop thinking abt them until theyre done. and its not her#fault bc im the one that put myself in a place where im barely keeping it together. its just frustrating#bc it feels like hope u feel better but also kill urseld 💖 but again thats just how it feels bc im so. idk how to describe it im like in a#state of post burnout. im sitting in the ash. alone in a desolate landscape and its like jesus how tf do i fix this?#and i cant even run out my anger rn bc im sick. and i mean i have the energy to run i dont feel lethargic but like i doubt that would aid#recovery lol. ugh. 2 months. thats all. then i move away. assuming i find a place to live lol. bc i currently haven't yet#but whatever. assuming i get better quickly and dont get worse and dont get covid on top of this cold bc my dad got covid#it will have been a bit of a blessing i came back sick bc i have a clear justification for not working and for telling people to fuck off#when they ask for things from me. like today a lab mate asked if i could sample Monday. which it technically#a holiday but i probably would have said yes if i wasnt sick. and i would have had to teach undergrads some bullshit friday if i wasnt sick#instead i just did nothing all day bc i almost moved bsck my flight and didnt leave home until the weekend anyway#i guess its good i didnt bc then i would have been stuck in ohio bc my dad found out he had covid yesterday#idk its all just frustrating bc im halfway in a transition and im not doing very well but i cant do anything to fix things until i leave#the southwest. like i dont even kno if i have health insurance rn. my benifits change request was processed but like does thst mean it was#approproved? fucking idk. so everytime i do anything i imagine a worstcase scenario where i end up hospitalized and damned to an empty#bank account or eternal medical debt. tho my mum said they passed a law where they arnt allowed to do thst to u anymore 🤷‍♂️#whatever. im annoyed. i dont wanna work 😫#unrelated
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Lately I've been going to bed around 4-6am and I have to wake up at 9am every day so I've only been getting 3-5 hours of sleep, but last night I went to bed at 2am so maybe I wouldn't feel like shit the next day, but I woke up at 6am and could not fall back asleep because I feel wide awake. My body hates me and doesn't want me to ever have more than five hours of sleep I guess
#i woke with the fucking sun today and i hate it#well maybe i dont hate it. its kind of nice to be an early riser for once#but this has happened before. where i go to sleep early for a change and end up waking up hours before my alarm#and then less than half an hour before my alarm ill be steuck by exhaustion and not have enough time to fix it#and i love my roommate but shes awake and doing dishes and leaving the apartment and then coming back#its 7am. she usually has the same sleep schedule as me so idk whats going on with us today#it feels like i pulled an all nighter because usually thags the only time i see the sunrise. maybe ill order some fast food breakfast today#maybe ill take my dog for an early walk if its not too cold. brb let me check the temperature#ooh its 37. thats hoodie weather. my poor dog keeps getting woken up by my whims. the othe night i accidentally woke him#because i wanted a bagel at 4am and he sleeps in the kitchen area#i would love to do this every day. go to bed earlier and wake earlier. but im not a morning person#and i usually work until 11pm. i work at a bar so its nighttime schedules for me. which i love. im a night person for sure#im not looking forward to moving back in with my parents because likely i wont find another job with this type of schedule#they live in a tiny ass town. i never understood how people move to a tiny town with no connections there. like they have no family there#except for my geandpa but he moved there after my parents. my parents moved there woth no family around#no one has heard of my hometown. it has 2000 people in it. it doesnt have great schools. its not diverse. theres no draw to it#idek how my parents heard of it#maybe ill learn to bartend there. get a job as a bartender. or maybe go to college. or become a firefighter or emt#although idk if college is right for me and i dont want to make a mistake that costs thousands of dollars#ill just take a class or two at the community college. that could be nice. but most likely ill go into a trade. my brother is a welder#and my dad is a cop. neither went to college. my dad says he could get me a job as an electrician. that would be nice#yeah probs wont go for my degree. will probs just take some classes for fun and a consistent schedule#and then become an electrician or something. sorry this turned into a weird rant#good morning everyone ily
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reel-fear · 1 year
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I feel like I am going BONKERS, rn like I know Twitter is the website ever but like ??????
#ramblez#idk when telling ppl they said smth that came across as mean or harsh became known as a personal accusation of that person being mean#but man I did not yknow catch up on that understanding!#just like hmmmm#I am so tired of ppl telling me to chill out even when I am trying to in very calm very passive words explain my reasoning#and its like 10x worse when I am agreeing with the persons main point but dont like how they worded it#and they take it as an attack on the correct point they were making instead of a simple mistake of wording that can easily be fixed#+10 points if they double down on said wording and then later say it was bc they are neurodivergent#like my man maybe ur autism does cause u to come accross as harsh sometimes thats okay#but when somebody tells you youre coming accross as harsh ur autism does not make u double down instantly and get angry#and also its like maybe I sound insane?#but if u gonna defend ur take as objective critisism it has to be something u can like objectively prove!#and if u then end off the thread stating it was just ur opinion and trying to spin it all to make me look like I had a fit bc I disagreed?#thats super weird?#and also in general u should be very careful when mixing objective facts with ur opinions or speculation#u need to put disclaimers or have smth that clearly shows whats meant to be taken objectively and whats an opinion u have#otherwise it can get confusing esp if anyone yknow takes ur word as fact bc its surrounded by actually provable stuff!#and I mean Im ignoring the part where the number one way they doubled down was by saying it was objective critisism when it wasnt KJDFHGKJD#just#ugh#tiring#one of these days Ill grow strong enough to delete twitter bc nothing good ever comes of it
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