#i dont think i'll ever stop living without ppl's validation and reassurance for... reasons but
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#ik i shouldn't start thinking abt myself and everything after like 9pm and even less when its like 1am or smth#its never a good idea actually. i hate self-reflection bcs i always end up seeing what is wrong with me and. its not pretty#but either ways. i was thinking and. i wish i get to a point in life where i stop living for what will they say and just live for smth that#i will enjoy. im tired of living out of shame and embarrassment and sabotaging myself in the process bcs the amount of times i've talked#myself out of doing things bcs of embarrassment and the what will other ppl think#and ik the roots of it like ik where all this shame come from and even if the source is no longer in my life i got so used to it that#i just do it without noticint and i start talking myself out of things i wanna do and it sucks!!!!! it sucks so bad bcs i wanna do things#without the shame of it. without the embarrassment. i live for other opinions abt me but i just. i dont want to keep living with the#negative opinions that dont even exist#i dont think i'll ever stop living without ppl's validation and reassurance for... reasons but#i would like to stop living in shame and embarrassment. i dont wanna be embarrassed for things that haven't happened yet#and talk me out of things for said embarrassment#okay. im gonna be silly goofy after this 😋#jo.txt
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