#i guess it's a “the end justifies the means” type scenario but i'd hope that if the everlasting does manage to usurp the council of witches

[misclogarts]

mfw i'm writing questionablepie +strawberry family fluff and bb drops more content for them (it's angst)

[mymelody-sapphic]

saw your response to the one anon the other day and it really rubbed me the wrong way, so i’m telling you this as a butch lesbian & hoping that you actually care since you always claim to care about butches.

first and foremost, it’s weird as hell that you’re white and you’re trying to say that butch/femme labels are usamerican or whatever because they’re not. butchfemme culture is everywhere, especially in the global south since it’s a source of safety for hyper-marginalized lesbians.

using the term as a non-lesbian literally puts butches in danger because non-lesbians have no idea how to treat butches. and if you think you do, i’m telling you you don’t and i know that based on your response the other day. additionally, i saw a post of yours where you were talking about how you support les4les (another source of safety for lesbians) so i ask you this…how are butches supposed to find other lesbians to date if so many people who aren’t lesbians call themselves femmes now? after the absolute living hell that butches have gone through both historically and currently? you’re actively making it more difficult for us to find community by co-opting our terms. it’s disingenuous to claim otherwise at best and downright lesbophobic at worst.

as i've said before i'm always willing to listen and learn and since you took the time to write your views on these i'd like to reply to everything the best way i can. just to be clear this is just for the sake of dialogue bc what i'm about to say it's not to justify or excuse myself. i also want to be honest and tell you that me being interest in learning and correcting myself when i'm wrong doesn't mean i'll just accept everything anyone that comes to my inbox or dms have to say when it comes to this type of topics where there are a thousand ways to understand and approach the subject. but since you're the second person that has expressed their discomfort with me (a bisexual white woman) referring to myself as femme i think i should actually reflect and perhaps read even more about the issue, that will be when i come to my own conclusions and decisions (which obviously may or may not be correct).

for context this anon is referring to these posts

about using butch/femme terms about les4les relationships

about the first thing you say, i think you should just re-read what I actually wrote because i talk about the terms at all times, in fact at the end i say that other languages/countries have their own words to for femme and butch.

on the other response you talk about, i don't know what exact post made you think that i don't know how to treat butches, so i don't really know what gave you this idea but i don't doubt that at all since a bisexual i can't relate completely with lesbians whether they're butches, femmes, mascs, stud or none of that in the same way that i'm unable to relate to straight women. but honestly i don't get what part of me calling out lesbophobic attitudes that bi women have and understanding and supporting les4les can possibly make that less safe for them since i'm literally out of that and it was something aimed at those bisexual and not to lesbians.

now, answering your question: i don't now. speaking from myself i always (here and irl) make clear i'm not a lesbian and use sapphic instead when i don't use bi. i say I'm femme bc i don't know another way to identify myself and express who i am and how i feel but i don't want to make anyone feel like i'm fooling them or tricking them or make taking away safety from them and I really hope none has ever felt like that because of me. again, being butch/femme/masc/etc is not just for dating scenarios is also about self-identity i understand what you mean and where you're coming from and I guess i might be overstepping bc as a bisexual we're always in middle grounds when it comes to these things and what we can also claim. we're queer but we can also get the straight experience depending on who we are dating and the circles we are in the same way some lgbt people reject their community and adjust to a more normative life style. i'm mostly surrounded by queer people, to be more specific lesbians and is where i feel the safest and since they don't feel safe/comfortable with me saying i'm femme i thought i wasn't doing something that my be wrong but they don't speak for the whole community so I would like to hear other lesbians, other butches and others femmes about this.

lastly , i would like to say that although you may be right in some of the things you've said, i don't think it's fair some of the assumptions you've made based on literally the only 4 posts i've made that aren't about how i want to get railed bc it's not just that you have no idea who i am, my context, my relationship with the queer community or my relationships in general, it's that this is not even an account where i talk about this stuff making statements, i have simply reacted to post that have reminded me my own experiences or to very specific messages that people have sent me. but I also think you have the option to unfollow me or block me bc if you don't agree and everything I say doesn't sit right with you, even though i appreciate you taking your time to explain your views on everything.