#i had to rewrite the end bc it didn't save rest in absolute pieces :')

[sunnyrollins]

“If you say that one more time, you’ll hope for death.” for Rollisi pretty please? P.S you are amazing!!!!!

(ps: ily anon !)

“If you say that one more time, you’ll hope for death.”

“Maybe you oughta slow down.”

The familiar voice in her ear barely registered as anything more than background noise, and Amanda winced subconsciously as the shot of tequila burned down the back of her throat. It wasn’t often that she had a night to herself - free of the responsibilities of motherhood and of the job - and she certainly planned on taking full advantage…despite what the personified voice of reason next to her may have been suggesting.

She turned to look at him, leaning her elbows against the bar as she studied his familiar features. Her lips parted just slightly to speak, but she waited a few long seconds before finally stumbling over her words. “If you say that one more time, you’ll hope for…” she paused, seeming to be briefly deep in thought, “death.”

They shared a long gaze, and for as much as he attempted to keep a straight face, Carisi couldn’t help but finally crack an amused smile with a laugh and a shake of his head. It wasn’t often that he saw her like this - especially since Billie has been born - but each time he did it nearly always felt like a new experience.

“Right now I’m feeling like I could switch those shots out for water and you’d be none the wiser,” he finally said. 

“Oh come on, Carisi,” she groaned in response, jabbing her elbow gently into his side. “Loosen up, would ya? How often do we get to just be anymore?”

“Missin’ the good old days?”

“No. But I’ve gotta admit, when I was back in high school drinking homemade moonshine in Hank Larson’s basement and looking to bum a cigarette off of the first person who’d give me the time of day, I didn’t think I’d end up here,” she admitted with a vague gesture to the space around them.

“In a shitty Manhattan dive bar on a Wednesday night?”

She cracked a smile, rolling her eyes playfully to the ceiling with a shake of her head. “You’re a pain in the ass, you know that, right?” She bumped her shoulder affectionately against his to punctuate the rhetorical question. “I’m serious, Sonny. I’m a mom and a wife. I mean…growing up I though domestic bliss was just something that was made up for TV.”

Despite his lack of a verbal response, Amanda could recognize his small, fond smile while he listened to her. Maybe he’d never told her directly, but she could always tell by the look in his eyes how happy her speaking of her own happiness made him. It was endearing to say the least. When he took a swig of his beer instead of taking his turn to speak, she took it as a nonverbal cue to continue.

“Can I tell you something?” She asked.

“Go ‘head.”

“When Al proposed…hell…I didn’t wanna marry him,” she admitted. “I felt like I had to because of Billie and all but…”

Her words trailed off, and she shrugged her shoulders light-heartedly before glancing up at the television behind the bar. Carisi, on the other hand, kept his eyes on her, eyebrows furrowed just slightly.

“Remind me again why we’re talkin’ about this?”

“Because,” she breathed out the word in a tipsy huff, but before she could finish, her eyes lit up just slightly, as if something had dawned on her. A playful smile tugged at the corners of her lips, and she couldn’t help but laugh. “God, Carisi, are you actually getting jealous right now?”

“What? ‘Course not…come on,” he chuckled to lessen the mildly defensive reaction.

“You know, for a lawyer you’re a terrible liar,” she observed with an amused smile. “And, for the record, it doesn’t suit you.”

“Believe me, if I was lying you’d know,” he assured her, and when she looked intently at him, narrowing her blue eyes into a scrutinizing squint, he couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re drunk. You know that, right?”

“So are you,” she reminded him. Before he could respond, she picked up the half empty beer sitting in front of him, swishing the remainder of the liquid around in its bottle. “You’re runnin’ low. Let’s get another round.”

For as grateful as he was that the subject of Dr. Al seemed to have fallen to the wayside, he knew that there was no way either of them could handle another drink by that point in the night. It had gotten late, and despite them deciding to take a night off from practically fixating on the case that had been draining nearly everyone in their immediate circle’s energy for as long as he could remember, there was still work to be done in the morning.

“I think I’m about done for the night,” he told her with a glance down to his watch. “I don’t know about you but I’m already feeling like I’m gonna regret stayin’ out drinking this late.”

Amanda looked down at the empty shot glass in front of her, seeming to mull it over for a brief moment before finally agreeing with a sigh.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she admitted. Carisi reached into the pocket of his suit jacket, fishing out enough money to cover their tab, and she watched him before continuing. “If you ask me, I think we all deserve a nice long vacation once this trial’s over.”

“Yeah…something tells me my boss won’t agree,” he chuckled, and when he took her jacket from the back of her barstool and held it out for her, she easily shrugged into it. “Now let’s get you home while you can still walk straight.”

Amanda was sure she wouldn’t have been awake had it not been for the feeling of a soft kiss being pressed against her forehead and the gentle scratch of her husband’s barely-there stubble against her skin. With a subconscious groan at the ache that she could already feel in her temples she allowed her eyes to open just enough to see that there was still no morning light coming in through the cracks in the blinds.

“Go back to sleep, Sonny,” she murmured.

This time, he placed a kiss against her cheek, and it wasn’t until she fully opened her eyes that she noticed that he was already up and dressed for work.

“Can’t,” he said. “There’s some last minute trial stuff I’ve gotta go handle before this afternoon.”

“God, they work you like a dog over there,” she commented bitterly in response.

Before he could say anything in defense of exactly how ragged they ran him over at the DA’s office, she cupped his face between her hands and guided his lips to hers, breaking the tender kiss only when he spoke again, his words voice vibrating against her lips.

“I love you.”

For as many times as she had heard it, she admittedly knew she would never grow tired of the sound of his voice offering her that short, three word affirmation that never failed to send a rush of warmth to her chest. Her fingers brushed through the silver hair at his temples, and she practically melted against him with another kiss. 

When she broke it again, she pressed her forehead against his, holding him close as if to savor the short moment of peace that they had together before they would both have to throw themselves completely into their work. 

“I’m glad I didn’t settle back then,” she finally said, observing the look of slight confusion in his eyes for only a second before clarifying. “With Al. That’s what I was tryin’ to tell you last night before you got yourself into a twist.” 

“Well maybe next time we can just skip over the part where you almost marry someone else, alright?” He suggested with an amused smile.

She couldn’t help but do the same, and she laughed softly before pulling him into another soft kiss. 

“Whatever makes you happy, Dominick.”