#i have like such low capacity for emotion at 4 am so im so happy bit am still just like 'wow this is fucking surreal'

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Japanese Grand Prix - Oscar Piastri

[curiosity-killed]

Hi....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

Aw of course I don’t mind! Though I feel like my answer is going to be a disaster bc I love these casts so so much aha let’s see:

✨ SPOILERS AHEAD ✨

MDZS/CQL

1. Wei Wuxian

Ah so I feel like this is obvious based on the sheer quantity of things I produce and the effort I put into hurting him 😅 but yeah! I love how much of a classical tragic hero he is and I love how much love he has and how that gets twisted around and shaped into a collar of spikes around his own neck. I saw gif sets of wwx before I ever knew about CQL and my reaction was “fuck. I’m going to love him” and I do! And I love that he does learn from his past and I love most of all that he learns to accept the love he is given and is able to make a happy ending in a place of being loved and held in respect and appreciation

2. Wen Qing

On the other hand, I did not expect to be like “mine now” with Wen Qing. Don’t get me wrong, the sexy immortal look got me but it wasn’t really till I started writing fic that I was like ohhhhh Oh Boy. Wen Qing is brilliant and ruthless, fiercely loving and aloof and cold. I love that she gets the lose-lose challenge of balancing what is right for her family vs what is right in the world, what she owes to her sect and what she owes to individuals. The golden core transfer is my favorite dubious science experiment in p much all media I���ve consumed. She gets to be so human—prickly and tough and also achingly gentle and afraid and putting on a tough face and sometimes still crying. “I’m sorry and thank you” ! Im!!

3. Jiang Yanli

The first fic I wrote for this fandom was literally “Jiang Yanli died no she didn’t” lmao I do feel like I underserve Jiang Yanli in that I often fall prey to using her to further the complexity that the male characters are permitted while denying her the chance to be given the same space for development and breath — something to work on! But in that, I really genuinely love how tightly she binds herself to her family and how she tries so hard to be what others need her to be—and then she does make a choice for herself and for a single moment at least, she gets to be loved and to be happy and to have this, a husband and a son and a place, for herself. And terribly I love how much she permeates the story still after death. She is the unspoken voice, the face turned from the camera but always still present, carried in the hearts and names and memories of the ones left behind

She deserved better but—I am weak for the tragedy of it all

4. Jiang Cheng

Another surprise (tho hardly surprising in hindsight): Jiang Cheng is just...horribly understandable. He makes terrible choices and his greatest heroism is undone by a choice made for him or, in the case of “killing the Yiling Laozu” is a lie. He is such a youngest sibling who doesn’t want to be the youngest until all at once, he’s the one in charge and he doesn’t want it at all. He is full of anger and hurt and so much love he doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t want it anymore, has no place to put all of its terrible, overwhelming flood.

5. Lan Wangji

I almost didn’t put Lan Wangji or Jiang Cheng on here and then I realized that this is sort of a list of characters I’m pickiest about in fic and...yeah. I think what I love best about Lan Wangji is his journey of grief and healing and through that, his decision to step into world. Where Wei Wuxian’s decision to travel and be removed from the cultivation world (in varying degrees depending on your headcanon preference lol) is really, really important to me, Lan Wangji’s decision to go from being an isolated lone agent working apart from the systems of the world to being involved and invested in changing those systems and working to make them better is also really important to me. I’ve talked before about how relatable Lan Wangji is to me (esp with regards to our interaction with the outer world) and there is something deeply hopeful and comforting about post-timeskip Lan Wangji being in his like mid-/late-30s and still making decisions and growing and changing and choosing to invest himself in the world and the future

yeah. i have thoughts here that I don’t really have the maturity, life experience, or articulation to put into words but Lan Zhan Good basically

TGCF

1. Xie Lian

suuuurpriiiiise!! Yeah honestly mxtx’s mains in TGCF and MDZS really just hit all my buttons basically. What appeals to me most of all about Xie Lian is, fittingly, how he is humanity taken to extremes. His capacity for incredible kindness and compassion is equaled with his capacity for cruelness and ruthlessness. His heaven-shaking highs are matched with calamitous lows. He is the hyperbolic of what it is to be human—and he is also the small moments, the wildflowers and the maple leaves and the mundane chores and the comfort of whispered conversations late into the night. I could quite literally go on for pages about what I love about Xie Lian but I am not Hua Cheng and can restrain myself LMAO

2. Hua Cheng

of all the characters on these lists, Hua Cheng is the one I’m pickiest about tbh! When I say I love him for similar reasons as Xie Lian I don’t actually mean this as being similarities between the two but the fact that both of them so richly convey mxtx’s points about the nature of humanity and what it is to be human. Hua Cheng is both the boldest and most arrogant of all and also the most vulnerable, the one who shies away from the truth because he’s braced for it to hurt and isn’t sure he can take it. He is gory blood rain and an umbrella to shelter a fragile bloom; he is a blade whose wounds only heal if he permits it and he is a sacrifice that he brushes aside as a fit of madness. *pats his head* this boy can fit SO MUCH inside him that he refuses to acknowledge

3. Jun Wu

Definitely my favorite antagonist in recent reading. I was doubtful of him from the start (something something issues with authority something something probably should talk to my theoretical future therapist shhh) but the unfolding of his reveal was so delightfully painful and exquisite that I was like “YES!!!” reading all of it. About the epitome of a satisfying plot twist imo. But about the character himself, I love how he parallels so many — Xie Lian in his rise and fall, his glory and disgrace; Hua Cheng in his fixation and ruthlessness; He Xuan in losing himself to the plot and not knowing how to move forward. I love that he feels beyond human in a way the others don’t—he’s so old and has gone through so much and he doesn’t feel things the way humans do anymore, doesn’t remember right how love squeezes the heart or how hate can exist without acting on it. I love that he thinks he knows how to control everyone and that it’s such mundane things that fool him: Xie Lian’s absurd stubbornness, Hua Cheng’s foolish faith, Yin Yu’s...emotional maturity??? Not Sure how to verbalize that one. But in the end, he is defeated by both the humanity of others and by his own—he’s so tired. He’s exhausted in a way that gods and ghosts aren’t meant to be. He is, under the armor and the masks, the curses and the power, human—benevolent and cruel, evil and good.

4. He Xuan

I love my fish man! No but really I love how He Xuan is so fixed on his one goal that he refuses to acknowledge anything else in his (after)life—which doesn’t make it go away. I love that he is left unmoored, purposeless through the very act of completing that which gives him purpose. I love his long con and the ways he clings to himself but loses himself not in the act but in the telling himself it’s an act. I love that he tries to be a moral man and then becomes a ghost king, a calamity. His reveal is also terribly badass and I do love his bone fish wholly unironically. Like I’m not going to get a He Xuan tattoo (for one thing I’ve been meaning to get a tattoo for 5 years and still haven’t gotten around to it) but also. B o n e f i s h

5. Mu Qing

Of course! The Jiang Cheng of tgcf lol Mu Qing (which my phone desperately wants to autocorrect to my Qing) is so...gah he’s such a mess! And he so fully commits to the belief that no one will ever see and understand him as he is but will always view them through their own convictions about him and his actions — which is simultaneously heartbreakingly lonely and also. Sir You Are a Clown. I genuinely think he’s owed apologies from both Feng Xin and Xie Lian for their treatment and assumptions of him and think that he would be HORRIBLY offended at the thought (while secretly touched? But like secretly even to himself). He will never explain himself and will just clam up tighter the more people accuse him and it’s such a self-sabotaging behavior and also so horribly relatable. I love u sir, you’re a disaster

SVSS I have not read but I do really like the moshang art 😂

[incorrect-pokespe-quotes]

I read every single Emerald fic on FFN so you don’t have to

There are 66 fics with Emerald listed in the tags. 

First, I took out any fic that was either not in English or actually gameverse, leaving me with 38 fics-- though I will say, the Spanish fics look like they slap

After filtering out “everyone appears” fics (I skimmed them to make sure) I was left with 26 fics. (While I would like to include “everyone appers” fics, I do not have the time nor motivation to read 30,000 words of derring-do and melodramatic heroics seventeen times in a row for Emerald to show up, deliver 2 lines, shoot something, and leave)

From there, I sorted them into various categories based on whether Emerald was a BG character or not, whether the fic had romance, whether Emerald was actually PART of that romance, etc. Then, finally, I was ready. 

Below the cut are the reviews of all twenty six fanfictions!

Category 1: BG Emerald      Every fic needs side characters, whether to provide extra voices or comedic relief or just a foil for the MCs. These fics don’t feature Emerald in a huge capacity, but he’s there and that’s what matters to me. I came into this site expecting anything: third wheel Rald, wingman Rald, Im-only-here-to-complain-about-your-flirting-Rald... I found everything but! It seems the most cliche writers among us don’t like using the Emerald tag, bc the few Frantic-with-BG-Emerald fics with I did find turned out to be spectacular! I’m pleasantly surprised and impressed. 

1. That Special Someone - Team Cap      Cap is on this list like 30 times so get used to it. This fic is mostly about Ruby refusing to shut up about Sapphire and how much he loves her (and how Emerald finds it infuriating). The details of this fic are super cute and the way Ruby and Emerald interact added 3 years to my lifespan, so I highly recommend this one if you want a nice, relaxing read involving the Hoenn boys (dare I say best boys?). In short, read this fic and all of Cap’s other fics while you’re at it.

2. A Picnic - Team Cap      Oh look. It’s Cap again. This fic, surprise surprise, is also good, and while it’s a little more basic than the others (Emerald runs into Ruby/Sapphire at a park and they mess around), it’s still cute and I still love it! Not really much else to say here... but the fic is good and I recommend if you’re in for some light domestic reads. 

3. High Hopes and Checkered Skies - aromatisse      I’ll be honest: my general opinion of frantic fics with BG Emerald is... low. A lot of them shoehorn my poor boy into whatever the plot requires at the cost of his characterization but this fic really surprised me in the best way! This one features Sapphire bringing Ruby to a “special place” the two of them arguing, and Emerald having to patch things up (mature Emerald? I don’t believe it!!). I found this fic while making this list and immediately bookmarked it bc THIS SHIT GOOD FAM. Please read this. 

4. Alpha and Omega- Ruby and Sapphire's Thoughts - Shadoweevee70     Not much to say about this to be honest. It’s exactly what it says on the tin. No plot, no development, not even 500 words. Emerald has a line. I think two. 

5. Boundaries - Team Cap     This fic hurt my heart. Though it focuses on Wally’s one-sided crush on Sapphire, there’s a touch of Emerald in there acting as Wally’s emotional support buddy, which tells me that either Emerald has matured or Hoenn is just devoid of emotionally stable individuals. Regardless, this fic is heartbreaking and beautiful but contains very little Emerald, so therefore I have very little to review. In short... not a lot of Rald, but you should read it anyway. 

6. Summer Days - eonentity      Crystal and Silver go on a “date” and Gold + Emerald try and stop them. It’s cute, it’s honestly kind of creepy if you think about it, and it involves Emerald. While the premise is kind of sketch, the banter between Gold and Emerald is incredible and I really like the general progression of the plot (especially the ending!) This is a very cute fic if you’re looking for something simple to read. Highly recommend, utilizes Emerald as a character really well!

Category 3: MC Emerald (gen)       This... this is my bread and butter baby. These fics run the gamut from friendship to domestic to drabbles to angst and everything in between, but the gist of it is that it includes Emerald as a focus without pairing him off. Not to say this is my favorite category... but it is. I’m biased, sue me. 

1. Family Inclusion - Team Cap      They say to leave the best for last, but I disagree. You’ll realize pretty quickly that Cap is one of my favorite authors to appear in this tag, and this fic is one of her best! I’m focusing on Chapter 3 (that’s the part with Emerald) where he has to entertain a shiny baby Ralts while Ruby and Sapphire are away (everybody say awwww). The fic is stupid cute, and while it doesn’t really offer much in terms of character development or stakes, it’s the type of domestic fluff you can read over and over and still find just precious each and every time. Also... Emerald takes care of a baby pokemon how can you NOT love that. Seriously. Look at this. 

2. At the Amusement Park - Team Cap       Oh wow, another Cap fic I really like. What a surprise. I’m astounded /s. This fic focuses on Emerald’s dilemma of being short at a place where height restrictions mercilessly mock the vertically challenged and how he deals with it with the “help” of Ruby and Sapphire. Though there is background Frantic (which shouldn’t really come as a surprise), this fic mostly focuses on Emerald’s insecurities and his relationship with the trio. It’s introspective, it’s wholesome, I’ve read it six or seven times (I lost count). Regardless, it’s good, and like every other Cap fic on this list, I demand you read it. That is a threat. 

3. Frantic Fight - Puph17      Any fic that drops a line like “margarine is in vogue” within the first three lines is immediately propelled to my top ten fics of all time list and this is clearly no exception. Despite the name, this isn’t franticshipping, just Ruby and Sapphire bickering and Emerald / Wally being annoyed about it. This fic, hands down, is one of the funniest pieces of fanfiction I’ve ever read on this godforsaken site. I am begging you to read this fic, if not for Emerald with a megaphone for the sheet amount of laughter it will cause. This fic may not be deep but it sure as hell is hysterical. ... Well, what are you waiting for? Why are you still here? Go read the fic, we’re wasting daylight. 

4. Weird War - storm-aurora      This is another fic I think I’ve probably read a dozen times and refuse to get tired of. Emerald and Sapphire are having a paintball fight in Slateport market, and I literally could not ask for a better friendship fic. The writing is high quality, the characters are very accurate (altho bc this is fanfic it doesn’t matter all that much), the friendships feel real, they’re having a paintball war.... everything about this is ideal. This is the quality content I live for. Please PLEASE read this fic, you’ll be happy you did. Close this tab and go read it immediately for your sake and mine. 

5. Skydrop - ayasato      Not a lot of people write about Emerald. The ones that do, for whatever reason, seem to do it very, VERY well. This fic, which is so long it might as well be considered an epic, is probably the piece de resistance of Emerald friendship fics. While not as snappy or funny or domestic as some of the other fics in this list, it more than makes up for it with a beautifully built slowburn friendship between Emerald and Sapphire, my favorite take on his living situation I’ve ever seen, and enough introspection to make your high school English teacher swoon. This fic is a must for any Emerald fan, even if it takes like an hour to read in full. It may be long but it’s magnificent.

6. Croissant Kings - ayasato      The fact that this fic is discontinued is irrefutable proof that this is the timeline god abandoned. Emerald and Pearl running a croissant stand is quite possibly the single most absurd fic concept I’ve ever heard but... it works. Somehow? It works. This fic is perhaps, hands down, one of the most ridiculously entertaining concepts and executions I have ever seen in my life. Everything about it, from the setup to the writing to just Emerald being Emerald is so raw and so ridiculous that I smile fondly when I think of it. I wish there were more than 3 chapters, however...

7. Perfect - Micah Debrink      I’m gonna be straight with y’all: I don’t like this fic. I’m not too sure what the plot is, and it was certainly an interesting read, but not my cup of tea. It’s good, don’t get me wrong; the writing is mature, very well paced, and overall well-written, but something about the characterizations is just not vibing with me. Thus, I’m not gonna pretend I thought this fic was perfect (har har) but I will say it’s something you should give a try. I’m admittedly a very biased party, so maybe you’ll enjoy this fic more than I did. For sure give it a shot, because maybe you’ll like it more than I did. This ain’t my jam, but it’s quality preserves nonetheless.

8. Roost - ayasato      This is short and sweet and may have some Sapphire/Emerald crushing if you squint, but overall a fun read. Very short, very good, give it a shot. This author is very high quality and that’s that on that. 

9. One Day - Jian-Kenkoku      This is short yet again but has a super interesting (if poorly explained) premise: Emerald gets adopted by Gold / his mom! This short oneshot details his first day, and while it is a tad rushed, it gives me the Emerald family content I have been sorely lacking. Not sure if this is one of my “reread until my eyes bleed” fics, but it’s certainly worth the trouble of reading through! It’s very cute and I recommend!

10. Emerald: Lying to Himself - reminiscent-afterthought        Very poetic and extremely well-written, but less than 200 words. This fic took me thirty seconds to read and it feels like time well spent. Please read it, even if for the sole reason that it’s super short. It’s also a super poetic way to talk about the Emerald arc. 

11. Go Away Gold! - jayfeatherelle      Ah yes, the “little brother enlists the help of a prankster to keep apart his sister and her boyfriend” trope... This may be cliche, but it sure as hell was enjoyable! Emerald enlists the help of Meddler Blue (side note: where did this trope come from bc she never does anything in canon that would be qualified as meddling other than just messing with Red at any given opportunity). Anyway, this fic is adorable, has a lesson at the end (that surprised me), had a really mature conclusion, and gave me Blue / Emerald friendship I really didn’t know I needed. In short? This is a cliche done well. It’s predictable, sure, but that’s not a bad thing! If anything, it’s a great nostalgic read. 

12. What if: Emerald never met Crystal - LetEveryoneOveraRip        This fic stole the last little bit of hope I didn’t even know I still had. You thought it couldn’t get more violent or sad? You were wrong. Everyone dies. This fic made me sad for like 45 minutes and I feel emotionally manipulated. I guess I should have seen this coming. Not much else to say except that this fic made me really sad, which, of course it did, but I still feel cheated out of a happy ending regardless. 

13. Emerald Owner’s Guidance and Maintenance Manual - Pokerescue18    Nothing happens in this fic. It’s literally an instruction manual and it’s well written and all but also has no plot. It is quite literally what it says in the title, so perhaps this should have been obvious but even still, I was left confused after reading this. I think I need a nap. 

14. Through My Eyes - Kaith1    Relationship angst that hurt my heart. This is less than 400 words so again, took me only around a minute to leave but the emotional impact scarred me for life. Very well done! This fic details Emerald’s inner turmoil as Gold and Crystal get together and Emerald worries he’ll be abandoned again. While I do feel like Emerald hating the two of them for getting together is a little ehhh, this fic does a great job of showing why Emerald would be so upset about it and his inner motivations for being so hurt by it. While I don’t agree, the author made me “get it” a little more, and for that I say bravo! 

15. At the Fair - IanDonyer      This one is short and focuses on Emerald meeting a security guard at a Halloween fair kinda deal. It’s also one of the first Emerald fics on FFN, released far before the remakes even came out! While obviously it doesn’t contain much in terms of character development, it also was written with only the Emerald arc to go off of-- so I can easily overlook any character inconsistencies. That being said, this fic is really cute and uses the OC pov really well! If you’re looking for a blast from the past, check this fic out! 

Category 4: Emerald shipping fics      On the rare occasion where the blue moon hangs melancholy in the sky, the planets align, and starlight rains down from the heavens... someone ships Emerald with another character. Romantically. Not sure where the aversion to shipping him came from, but for whatever reason everyone prefers him single. These authors, these brave knights, they’re changing that. Hell yeah for romance. 

1. Left Out - RedCharmeleon       Not to be like “this fic is painfully straight...” but yknow. Emerald is upset at Gold/Crystal’s wedding because he’s the only single one and needs a girlfriend. There’s also a “what are you, gay?” joke in here, which soured my mood for the rest of the fic. I’ll be honest, I never really liked the “all male protag / female protag ships and then taking Silver, Pearl, and Emerald and pairing them off with OCs” deal, so I’m heavily biased against this fic, but the writing is decent and the plot is fine. If you enjoy this style of plot (everyone needs to be paired up, blushing galore, love at first sight, everyone acts like they stumbled out of a hallmark movie script) then this is the fic for you!

2. Glances - Diemerald      A collection of drabbles about Emerald and Wally becoming friends and falling in love. I’ve read it seven times now. While the plot is a tad disjointed because of the format, this author really NAILS Emerald’s character. Emerald (and Wally) show a lot of growth between the snippets and god it’s so beautiful I need more of it. Please read this fic. Tell your neighbors about this fic. This fic is fantastic. 

2. Revolvershipping Cuddles - Charmerruby     You’re never gonna guess what this one is about. It’s very cute but it’s literally just fluff. Very cute, like marshmallows. This is kinda short so there isn’t really much to say, but I will am starving for Emeruby content, so though this be but little, it be fierce. And fluffy. Did I mention cute? This fic is so filled with love my heart grew three sizes after reading it. I could keep calling it adorable, but I don’t think that’s productive. Spend the time reading this fic instead. 

3. Misunderstandings - Pokeluv101      Reading this was very weird because I know the person who made the OC the story is centered around. Reading even the names thrust me so violently back into my middle school days I can almost taste the edge. It’s very good, and I suggest giving it a read even if you’re not a huge dexholder/OC fan. Also tsun Emerald is good Emerald. 

4. Unexpected - Diemerald     A fic about Emerald and Yellow falling in love. Not exactly my cup of tea so I skimmed it but this author is really good so it’s a great fic, even if it’s not to my tastes. I suggest giving it at least a once over because this author worked hard and I respect them, even if this isn’t really... my thing. Check it out!

5. Big Changes - Aquatales     You know how I said I would read every Emerald fic? I lied. This one is about Emerald getting genderbent and immediately shipped with Wally against his will by his friends. Reading the summary gave me hives and I could not bring myself to read it in full.

Final Thoughts      While I’ll be honest and say that I did find some of the the cliche fics I was expecting, I was incredibly and happily surprised to discover that more often than not, the people who bother to publish Emerald fics really care about his character and publish some pretty high quality stuff, and that’s pretty damn cool. There are shipping fics, BG Emerald fics, MC Emerald fics, and most of them are pretty fantastic! Way to go spe fandom writers, you did my boy justice, all..... 10 of you.

[smedenn]

Burned Out Chapter 3

Summary: Roman makes some changes...Patton’s emotions finally explode

Warnings: UHHH nothing rly, crying? angst?

Pairings: Platonic Royality (Or romantic if you want it), Platonic LAMP! Maybe eventual Logince or something idk

Word count: 2116 (Sorry its short!)

Note: Lmao I wanna say that im 100% not gonna make Logan and Virgil seem evil and I apologize if I have. Logan I find is very...self centered in a way that he isnt aware of other peoples feelings and he thinks he is always correct. Virgil however...he more, doesn’t know how to deal with it? And he doesn’t understand the capacity of his words/actions bc he thinks Roman can handle it. They aren’t terrible- they will start to be nicer :)

ALso thank you for all the positive feedback!! It makes me suppper happy!!

anyway, here you go!

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5

Chapter 3

Roman fell onto his couch as he resided back to his room.

He let out a sigh and stared at his ceiling, watching the bubbles float by. He reached up and played with them as he thought to himself.

"Why don't you trust me more?" He asked himself in an empty, quiet room, "All I do is fight for you..fight for your hopes and dreams. Create all you're imagination. I want to create happiness for you, not destroy everything you’ve ever wanted" he tells the silence in his room. Roman let out a loud sigh as he sat up.

"Maybe I should just duck out... It seems all I am doing is hurting you" he tells himself and glanced around his room. "I'm nothing but childish imagination, and you're an adult now. You have no time for silly things like me" he stood up in frustration. He looked around the room. It was covered in Disney posters, colorful paintings, and family photos of the sides. Roman looked down at his transparent hands.

He sucked in a breath- he knew exactly what this meant. The creative side raised his hand so it was in front of his face. Roman could faintly see through his hand. The bubbles floated by and provided a glow that just drifted through what used to be solid.

He focused on what was behind his hand, spotting a photo across the room. He let his hand slowly fall as he stared at it. Roman let out a breath, taking one foot after the other until he stood in front of the photo.

The photo showed Roman surrounded by all the people he loved. His right arm was slung around Virgil's shoulders as Virgil let a small smile appear on his face. His left arm was wrapped around Patton; the moral side hugged Roman around the neck while laughing. Logan stood next to Patton, a hand on Patton's back as he subtly smiled at the camera. Deceit stood too the side, beside Virgil with a small grin and a wave- he didn't like to be touched often. Remy was even in this one- he peaked above Roman and Patton giving a peace-sign to the camera. Thomas was the one who took the photo, so he was absent but he was there in thought.

Roman felt a knot in his throat and a rock in his stomach. He came to a realization. He ran his hand over the photo nostalgically.

"Maybe I don't need to leave...maybe if I just change I wont disappear" he whispered to himself, his voice low and cracking, "I don't want to leave them.." He tells himself and glanced around the room.

He was suddenly set on a different mission. He needed to reinvent himself or else he would disappear. He didn't need to sit, wallowed up in his room until he poofed into nothingness. He didn't want to leave the people he loved the most- and if he changed so they accepted him, maybe he wouldn't have too.

He started with the posters. Roman moved around the room and took down all his Disney posters. He pulled down Mulan, Aladdin, Lion King, Beauty and The Beast, The Little Mermaid, Pinocchio, all of them. He folded them nicely and set them in a pile.

He tapped his chin as he thought about what else he needed to get rid of. He pulled down all his meaningless paintings- which was most of them. He left up a few that were simple and fit the room well. He piled the paintings up next to the posters.

Roman bit his lip and thought for a moment, closing his eyes and raising his hand. He breathed heavily as he concentrated- using his mind to change the structure of his room. His brain started to go on overdrive.

Roman suddenly gasped, opening his eyes as he felt himself fall over out of mental exhaustion. He scrambled to catch himself, grabbing onto the arm of a chair to stop himself from completely falling on his face.

He breathed heavily, his limbs felt weak and his eyes felt tired. He shook his head to try to wake himself up a bit more. He knew he needed to stop doing that so much; he knew it was bad for him. Yet he was satisfied with the result.

The walls were no longer red and gold and instead was a nice coffee color. The floor was no longer covered in paint and other stains. It was a soft, comfortable white carpet. He looked at the furniture. Instead of having it all red and royalty-like, the couches and chairs were a simple black and the tables were sleek white with glass on stop. It still looked nice and expensive- yet just more simple. More calming.

The place where his unfinished paintings were stacked next to his easel and paints was now replaced with a desk with papers instead of canvases and pencils instead of brushes. A laptop sat on the desk.

Roman smiled at it. It was so incredibly simple and not creative at all but Roman knew it would be a good change. Sure it made him uncomfortable, it was no where near his style, and he hated it but...if it kept him from disappearing he would do anything.

Roman decided he wanted to show the other sides, despite how tired he was. He was suddenly so excited about them seeings it- seeing how much he has matured. He let out a small squeal, "They are going to love it!" He clapped his hands.

Roman was about to sink out when he glanced into the mirror. He immediately stopped and looked down at his outfit. He couldn’t wear this silly thing anymore. He needed something less...extra.

Roman thought for a moment before letting out a small gasp. He excitedly spun in a circle. Suddenly his prince outfit disappeared and in its spot was a white button up with his logo on the shoulders. His pants were now all red and his shirt was tucked into them. To top it off, a pair of golden suspenders went around his shoulders.

He grinned at himself, "Now I'm ready!"

He sunk out

"Greetings, friendos!" Roman greeted as he appeared in the shared mindpalace.

Logan looked up from the book he had his nose in, Virgil continued to nod his head as he listened to music on the couch, and Patton was too engrossed in Steven Universe.

Logan cringed a little bit, “Please not so loud, I do have a headache from today and I’m trying to focus my attention to my book” He requested.

Roman took a moment to wonder how Logan- an imaginary figment inside someones head- had a headache. He decided not to think about it too much to refrain from also- giving himself a headache.

“Sorry to interrupt, Siri. I just wish to show you all something I have fabulously done!” He tells the group just as proudly but with less volume this time.

Logan’s nose was already back in his book, so he just let out a hum. Virgil glanced at him but didn’t respond as his headphones covered his ears.

Roman’s prideful attitude plummeted, “Hello? Greetings? Yes I am talking to all of you commoners!” He called out playfully, stepping into the living room. He waved to Virgil who just glared and visibly showed Roman that he had turned up his music. Roman crossed his arms and glared back.

He turned to Logan with a huff, waving his hand in front of his face, “Hello? Alexa? I am speaking to you!” He calls out.

Logan slowly looked up at him and calmly set his book down on his lap, “Roman as excited as you are, I simply do not have the emotions to...give attention to whatever project you have completed now. It is later in the evening and I wish to continue to relax by reading. Perhaps you can show Patton” Logan explained and suggested. Roman frowned.

“But I want to show all of youuu!” He whined.

Logan was getting visibly irritated, “As I explained before, Roman” Logan said his name harshly, “I lack the interest you do in giving attention to you’re newest creation. Maybe later”

Roman grabbed Logan’s hand and started to attempt to pull him off the couch, “Pleaaassee Logan-!”

“Roman I do not have the time-” He raised his voice.

“But Logan I-”

“Roman! Enough!” Logan yelled and ripped his hand away. Roman let his hands drop as he went silent.

Roman felt his heart plummet as he stared at Logan. He felt anger boil in his chest.

“Whatever. Continue being an emotionless freak then” Roman spat the words at him. He saw the hurt flash across Logan’s eyes.

Roman knew his words hurt. He remembered the nights he stayed up to comfort Logan. He knew how insecure Logan was about his lack of emotions and his selfishness. He knew it all yet he spit the words anyway- just to hurt him.

Roman turned around before Logan could see the guilt in his expression.

Roman shoved his hands in his pockets and began walking out of the living room in a hurt, dreadful rage back to his room. He stopped in his tracks when he suddenly heard a voice that broke silence.

“I’ll come see it” Patton’s soft voice rang through the room.

Roman turned around slowly. Sometime in the midst of fighting with Logan, Virgil had turned down his music and taken off his headphones and Patton paused his show. Virgil was now looking back and forth from Logan to Roman with an unreadable expression. Patton stared up from where he was on the ground with a soft, sad expression.

Roman let out a sigh, “No Patton it’s fine, it is nothing impressive or-”

Patton stood up, interrupting Roman, “I don't care! I wanna see it...everything you make is impressive! No one tells you that enough!” Patton told him, a pained expression on his face.

Roman froze, confusion written all over his face. He was usually so good at reading emotions and how people felt but now he couldn’t. He didn’t know why Patton was starting to yell compliments at him while he wore a pained expression. He didn’t know why Patton was saying anything positive to him in the first place. Roman knew he had done nothing right lately.

“Patton you don’t have to say that, its hardly true and-”

Patton voice cracked, “Roman stop!” he yelled.

The room went silent.

All you could hear was the soft breaths coming from Patton as he stared at the creative side. Roman stood, shocked and confused, staring back at him. Virgil and Logan watched in confusion and surprise from their spots.

“It is true! Roman you are so valued! You make Thomas so incredibly happy. You allow him to see a brighter future and to find fun in life. You create wonderful things and everything you make is impressive and gorgeous! You are so important to Thomas and you are so important to us! We can’t be without you, Roman!” Patton’s voice was slowly becoming strained as it became obvious that he was holding back tears.

“We don’t tell you that enough..or at all! You deserve to hear how much we appreciate you because we do! And you always show us how much you value us and how much you care about us and we never return the favor!” Patton had tears in his eyes by now.

All the sides watched in awe- Patton had only gotten like this a few times before. He only did when he was feeling overwhelmed by different emotions or when he felt ignored.

Roman felt a knot in his throat as he felt like he was also going to cry hearing these things. He finally spoke up.

“Patton why-” He started to speak but Patton wasn't done.

“Because your mug is gone! I noticed that your mug is gone...and your paintings! The paintings you made and we hung in the living room have disappeared!” Patton gestured to the walls.

The three other sides looked around them and found it to be true- the paintings Roman had hung had now disappeared, leaving the walls blank and empty.

“Plus!” Patton continued, holding his tears down, “You weren’t at breakfast! Or lunch! Or dinner! You didn’t show up today when Thomas called you...you-” Patton’s tears finally over flowed.

Roman ran forward so he was in front of Patton, looking around him- trying to figure out how to comfort the boy. Roman felt terrible, he made Patton sad like this. He didn’t mean too, he just figured the other sides didn’t want him around. Roman placed a hand Patton's shoulder and looked at him. Patton hung his head.

“Patton that's hardly any reason to assume that-”

“You’re disappearing Roman…” Patton told him as he grabbed Roman’s hand and looked down at it, “Roman you’re transparent...you’re disappearing”

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