#i just think they're neat and troy should get a valentine the size of a small child

[slutabed]

intro to valentines

I really wanted to finish this episode-style Valentine’s Day fic by tomorrow but that’s NOT going to happen, especially because I wrote the last scenes first and now have no incentive to write whatever leads up to it. But I liked the end scene and wanted to share it because idk holiday spirit and trobed love and all that <3 

General plot idea (none of which is actually in this scene lol): Abed is chock-full of grand gestures for Valentine’s Day but has no date, so Shirley and Annie set out to find him one. Jeff demands Abed tell him how he’s so good at wooing women (and men, for that matter), and Abed gives him all his grand ideas for the holiday. Troy is weirdly, inexplicably livid at the idea of Abed getting a date for the holiday, and Britta helps him work through his feelings. 

MUSIC CUE: “Greendale Is Where I Belong” by Ludwig Goransson

Troy approaches Abed, hands in his pocket and posture stiff. He smiles nervously.

TROY

Hey.

  ABED (equally nervous, hands fidgeting at his side)

Hey. 

  TROY

So...that valentine was pretty cool. 

(beat)

Was it supposed to look like one of those giant valentines you always see in cartoons? Because - 

  ABED 

(knowing exactly what Troy is going to say)

Because you love when things look the way they look in cartoons, yeah.

  TROY (smile growing)

Yeah, I do.

  The boys smile at each other for a moment before Troy glances down, shuffling his feet. 

  TROY

So I, uh...I never really had a Valentine before.

  ABED

Neither have I. And TV holiday specials usually end with the acquisition of the Valentine, so I don’t really have a script for what comes after this part.

(He pauses for a beat, then, more quietly:)

But I really like you, Troy. 

  TROY (a soft, looking-at-Abed expression on his face)

You do?

Abed smiles and nods. 

  TROY (quietly)

I’ve never dated a guy before.

  ABED 

I know.

  TROY (after a deep breath)

But if there’s anyone I trust to be my first boyfriend, it’s you.

  ABED (eyes wide)

You want to be boyfriends?

  TROY (foot in his mouth)

Uh, no!? Not if you don’t want that! Did I say boyfriend? I meant, uh, koi friend. Like, we could be friends that just chill out by koi ponds together, and - 

  Abed puts a hand on Troy’s shoulder comfortingly. Troy visibly relaxes.

  ABED

Troy. I really, really want to be your boyfriend. It’s why I orchestrated this whole thing.

  Troy gestures to where Jeff is frantically lighting a fuse that connects to his entire firework display.

  TROY

So the whole firework show...even though Jeff is setting it up now, that’s still for me?

  Abed looks over his shoulder, as if surprised to find the rest of the study group still there. 

  ABED

Oh, that? No, I think that’s going to be a total trainwreck. I’m not sure those fireworks are even legal.

  TROY (eyes wide)

What!? Then why did you give them to Jeff!?

  ABED

Because I needed everyone to be distracted so I could do this.

  Behind them, Jeff’s fireworks erupt in a cacophonous, disastrous-sounding symphony. Onlookers wince and cover their ears. One misfiring firework veers sideways and launches itself directly into a garbage can, the contents of which immediately burst into flames. Jeff runs to the garbage can, panicked, while Britta doubles over in laughter, Shirley’s hands cover her mouth in horror, and Annie shrieks. The onlookers are in various states of disarray, some calling 911, some screaming for help, some running toward or away from the fire in panic.

In the midst of the pandemonium, while everyone is distracted, Abed gently cups Troy’s face in his hand and leans in to kiss him softly. Troy gasps, then melts into the kiss, his hands coming up to grip Abed’s arms. After a moment, Abed pulls away.

  TROY (eyes even wider now)

Woah. 

  ABED (smiling, almost in disbelief)

Yeah.

(beat)

Before, when you said first boyfriend, is that because you’re already planning on having more boyfriends in the future, or -

  TROY (emphatically)

Uh, absolutely not, you can be my forever boyfriend if you’re going to kiss me like that again. That was awesome.

  Abed smiles wider and pulls Troy close for an even deeper kiss. When he pulls away, Troy is looking at him like Abed put the stars in the sky just for him.  

  ABED

Want to go watch movies and probably make out a lot?

  TROY

Get out of my brain, dude. That sounds amazing.

  They perform their handshake, then Abed grabs Troy’s hand with a shy smile. Troy looks nervous, but then grins and nods. They walk toward Abed’s dorm, away from the pandemonium in front of the library, hand in hand.

  END TAG 

Troy and Abed are sitting next to each other on a couch in the library, just as they are in the end tag of “Spanish 101” (season 1 episode 2). Abed beatboxes and taps out a rhythm on his textbook with his pencil. 

TROY (rapping)

¿Dónde está la biblioteca? Me llamo T-Bone, la araña discoteca.

  Cut to: Jeff, Shirley, Annie and Britta are watching. Shirley looks bewildered, Britta looks bored, Annie taps her foot impatiently and Jeff checks his watch. 

  BRITTA

Come on, guys, is this really what you wanted to show us?

  JEFF

Yeah, we’ve heard this stupid rap already.

  (Troy and Abed ignore their friends and continue rapping.)

  The rap ends. Instead of waiting for applause, Troy and Abed just grin at each other and lean in. Abed grab’s the back of Troy’s neck and pulls him in for a loud smack of a kiss. 

  SHIRLEY

Oh, Lord have mercy…

  BRITTA (laughing in disbelief)

Woah! 

  ANNIE (gasping)

Do you mean you two -

  JEFF (with a shit-eating grin)

Well, I’ll be damned.

  Abed smiles at the group. Troy can’t pull his heart-eyes away from Abed. 

  SHIRLEY

Well, you two better treat each other right, you hear me? I’ll kick both your asses if you do anything to hurt each other. 

  JEFF

Shirley, look at them. I think they’re gonna be fine. 

  Troy slips his hand into Abed’s, while Abed’s smile grows. 

  ABED

Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody. 

  FADE OUT.