#i know that i'm overanalyzing but the pattern is STRONG at this point and there's a lot to dig into!

[traitorestraven]

actually! kinda fascinating how all of the older men that become obsessed with mjf do so in a way that's proprietary. they all want to have or have had a hand in making him, even Punk, who's the only of MJF's line of enemies/mentors to be antagonistic to him from the start. Cody's sentimentality towards MJF is all wrapped up in the idea that he found this diamond in the rough kid and saw something in him no one else could, and this gave him special insight into who MJF was as a person that even the audience--which sees everything--didn't have. Jericho wanted a second Sammy Guevara, a rising star he could control in order to keep himself at the top. Punk literally tied them together with a chain. setting aside any fan interpretations (gay shit), it's an interesting theme to have surrounding a character whose express purpose is to be as repulsive as possible!

[therollinkaagenda]

Kalinka navigation notes from Mega Man 4

The GameCube MegaMan anniversary collection included a few unique features, one of which was adding optional 'navigaters'- hint systems introduced in X5(?) That involve a character calling you at certain points when enabled in the settings - in this case similar to calling Roll in Megaman and Bass, being activated by simply pausing.

What is most exciting about this feature is that in mm4, it gives a ton of new dialogue to one of my favorite characters and one of the series most criminally underutilized: Kalinka Cossack. I intend to analyze and overanalyze every one of these calls over the course of my playthrough; after all, this is debatably canon and probably contains more lines for her than all of the other classic series games combined.

This is NOT a transcript, just notes on what Kalinka is saying during my playthrough and my occasional thoughts about it, and I will be skipping over repeated advice or otherwise uninteresting dialogue, and condensing similar points into one note.

General:

-Kalinka is likely responsible for establishing this call, despite being captured by Dr. Wily. This likely involved creating a communication device compatible with Rock's receivers, masking it's signal, and making it a video call for fun I guess, all under her genius captor's nose. It's possible that she had help from protoman, but i suspect that she did most of the mechanical stuff - after all this game puts her intelligence on full display

- another major point is that Kalinka can see where MegaMan is, what he is doing, and what obstacles are ahead of him- I'm not sure whether she somehow is receiving feedback from Rock's sensors, hacking security cameras and other equipment, or some other third thing,, but either way is impressive in it's own right

- Kalinka seems to know how the vast majority of robots work, but often doesn't know the actual names of enemies. Because of this, it seems she doesn't seem to be reading from any type of manual or guide, and limited prior knowledge - meaning she is likely coming up with the majority of her advice on the spot. This makes the accuracy of her statements quite impressive.

- this will become more apparent as I recount more examples, but this game paints Kalinka as a sort of genius prodigy - seems like she learned a lot from her father, but she is brilliant in her own right too

- Kalinka will occasionally speak as if she was fighting instead of Megaman, especially later in the game (ex: 'what if I used X weapon). This is most likely a series of typos, but I feel like it's worth mentioning

Toad Man:

-Kalinka is immediately able to tell for certain that the wind is strong enough to push Rock around despite him being a robot, before he ever tries to jump; same mostly applies to the effects of water flows later in the level.

-Kalinka knows that the snail miniboss is vulnerable when it's eyes are open

-Kalinka not only has a general idea of what Toad Man's weakness is, but also knows that he's freaking pathetic

Bright Man:

- I don't know why Kalinka is introducing herself now, but I guess that the Dev's thought most people would start with Bright Man??? Toad man is right there???

-Kalinka seems to already know how the enemies in bright Man's stage affect the lighting

-Kalinka not only knows how dangerous spikes are, but that the grasshopper robots are safe to ride on and will move in a predictable pattern

- upon seeing the split path in the stage, she knows that nothing to important is on the bottom path, and when exploring the bottom path she wants you that you may not be able to return if you don't have energy for Rush

- on the main path, she will warn you about hitting the lightbulb enemies and about the falling red platforms

-Kalinka knows that Bright Man is weak to water, and that being in the air during the time freeze makes you less vulnerable to his attacks

Pharaoh Man:

- Kalinka will immediately warn Rock about the quicksand

-Kalinka will once again inform you that jumping on certain enemies is necessary to proceed, with some additional caution reflecting that these robots have projectiles. During the final section, she will advise you to take the higher platforms

- Kalinka pretty much successfully deduces Pharaoh Man's weakness, in this case it's made clear that she is coming up with this on the spot.

Ring Man

- Kalinka knows how the rainbow platforms (and their alternative later in the level) work

- Kalinka explains how to deal with the hippo minibosses, and later that the rain flush ruins them

- Kalinka explains how to defeat the Whopper minibosses, and later that they can bet skipped with a time freeze

- Kalinka knows that the mono loaders will be one-shot by charge shots

- Kalinka knows that Ring Man is weaked by heat, and advises you on how to avoid his attacks

Dust Man

- Kalinka immediately tells Mega Man to hit sheild attackers from behind

- Kalinka warns Rock about enemies launched from bottomless pits

- Kalinka informed Rock of appearing platforms

- Kalinka warns Rock about the Press

- Kalinka tells Rock how to deal with breakable blocks, and seems to be working with Beat (Beat acts as a series of arrow signs in this game)

- Kalinka gives a detailed idea of how to avoid Dust Man's attacks, but only has a vague idea about his weakness

Skull Man

- Kalinka tells Mega Man to use charge shots against Zato, and that only charge shots work on Skeleton Joes

- Kalinka tells Rock that one enemy is only vulnerable from the front

- Kalinka warns Rock about caterpillar enemies

- Kalinka seems to know relatively little about Skull Man compared to the other robot masters, as both her idea of what his weakness is and her advice for fighting him, while accurate, are rather short. This seems to support the idea that skull man was built specifically for fighting MegaMan as per Wily's demands

Dive Man

- Kalinka warns of enemies in the water

- Kalinka states that uncharged attacks are more effective against moby, and that it's vulnerable to flash stopper

- knows that mega man can't defeat the jellyfish robots

- Kalinka knows how mega man operates in water

- Kalinka gives Rock advice about dodging dive man's attacks. Interestingly, she recommends using the normal buster- this may be more evidence that she doesn't know Skull Man, or perhaps she just knows that using the skull barrier against Dive Man is very risky

Drill Man

- Kalinka tells Megaman about the map

- Kalinka advices that Rock defeats a crusher enemy with rapid fire

- Kalinka recommends using charge shots against the blue enemies

- Kalinka gives Rock advice about dealing with the dust shoots that drop rocks

- Kalinka tells Rock how to use the switchs

- Kalinka tells Rock to move when Drill Man is underground, and recommends using a weapon that is 'sure to capture', an odd but useful hint towards his weakness

IMPORTANT: Kalinka seems to acknowledge that Drill Man is the final stage in my playthrough - unsurprisingly, it seems likely that her dialogue may change slightly depending on the order the stages are completed. However, I have yet to confirm this and do not know the extent to which it happens if true.

Cossack Fortress 1

- Kalinka advises Megaman on how he can deal with the local ice physics. She also admits that they caused her to slip once

- Kalinka tells Rock when he needs to use Rush Coil or Balloon to proceed, and recommends using the Rush jet

- Kalinka tells Rock how avoid the moth bosses attacks and counterattack

Cossack Fortress 2

- Kalinka shows excitement when MegaMan enters the fortress proper, and asks him to help her and her father

- Kalinka tells Rock when the Rush jet is nessisary, saying 'all I have is a Rush Jet...', which i assume is a figure of speech but it's really funny to imagine that she just. Has a rush jet. No Rush, just the jet for Rush. And has somehow used that for everything she does in this game

- Kalinka tells Rock how to traverse the spike blocks, and that he can skip some with a balloon

- Kalinka tells Rock that certain walls can be destroyed by the drill bomb

- Kalinka tells Rock how to damage the room boss

Cossack Fortress 3

- Kalinka directly addresses the auto scrolling segment, ('here the background moves by itself') breaking the fourth wall

- Kalinka tells Megaman to defeat an otherwise invulnerable enemy with Dust Crusher (there seems to be a typo)

- Kalinka tells Rock how the golden platforms work, and how to use them

- Kalinka knows that this boss is weak to pharaoh shot, and asks mega man to defeat it quickly

Cossack Fortress 4

- Kalinka tells Megaman about a shortcut

- Kalinka states that Rock is the only one who can save her father...

- unlike any previous bosses, Kalinka gives no advice about fighting Dr. Cossack at all, and doesn't contact you during the battle. This is likely because she is being saved by Protoman

Wily fortress 1

- Kalinka thanks Megaman and promises to use the data she got from Wily's base to continue supporting him

- Kalinka warns Rock that the stage has a large number of metaurs

- Kalinka advises Rock on how best to deal with the disappearing blocks

- Kalinka gives advice on avoiding attacks from the metaur boss

Wily fortress 2

- Kalinka warns Megaman about the large number of spikes in the stage

- Kalinka gives a detailed description of how to deal with the boss

Wily fortress 3

- Kalinka states that Megaman is close to Wily and offers encouragement

- Kalinka affirms the the robot masters have the same weaknesses in the rematches

- Kalinka tells Rock how to use the Drill Bomb against the boss (it's worded poorly but I'll chalk it up to a typo)

Wily fortress 4

- Kalinka losses connection with Megaman, which smells like the Devs wanted to troll players by not telling them that the final boss can only be hurt by the fully charged Pharoh Shot, which would have been the single best thing for the hint system added in the remake to tell you. For shame devs, for shame.

------

If anyone has additional information or caught something I missed, it would be appreciated. While this project may have not been a direct addition to Rollinka, it's still greatly reaffirms much of what I already knew about Kalinka's character, and may be a useful resource for anyone writing Kalinka - which is like, half of writing Rollinka, so I think it's worth posting here.

[eeveelutionsforequality]

I know labels aren't everything, but right now I'm unable to label my sexuality. I used to think I was ace because so far I haven't been interested in pursuing a relationship, but then again I (♀︎) obviously like men. Then again, I've also been interested in women, but I don't know if it's sexually or just aesthetically. My question is, how do I decide on a label? Am I doomed to be questioning forever?

First of all, big mood.

I know it probably doesn't seem like it on this blog - typing in full sentences and saying my applied labels without clarification probably gives me an air of certainty in myself, but in reality I am really uncertain of myself sometimes. My dysphoria is worsened by certain elements of physical masculinity almost as much as it's worsened by many elements of physical femininity, my dysphoria is worsened and complicated by other mental and physical health issues, my mental and physical health issues also make my sexuality and romantic attraction (or lack thereof) incredibly difficult to judge, I prefer the idea of people to actual people, and even symptoms of some of my disorders don't fall perfectly into categories and labels.

Language is all essentially labels, this cushion isn't inherently a "cushion", there's nothing about the universe that assigned that pattern of shapes or sounds to it - it could've been called a "flibbleydoop" and then it would be a flibbleydoop not a cushion. Cushions exist though, they're physically there and it's relatively easy to look at something and go "Yup, that's a cushion." but the same isn't true of subjective experiences... and it's especially untrue for labels for a generalized collection of ongoing subjective experiences.

I decided to use the labels "bisexual, aromantic, and transguy" not because I know for sure that the universe ascribed those words to me (it definitely didn't), but because they're just the easiest way to give a brief overview of my situation when there's no requirements to go into the nitty-gritty of what I'm actually experiencing. In a perfect world, I'd have a way to simply say "I experience all of these convoluted and complex aspects of dysphoria, my attraction to people of different genders/sexes presents in these different ways, and my emotional connection to people presents thusly." but I don't, and if I did then everybody would have to have their own words because everybody experiences it differently.

Labeling your sexuality is a bit like when I'm filling in the census - I could be like "My recent family history is [blah blah blah] but if you go back I'm [blah blah blah]." but there's just no point, and everybody knows that very few, if any, working class people in Britain can honestly say "None of my ancestors shagged a member of an invading force." The details of my genetics are wholly unimportant to anybody but a Neo-Nazi, for all intents and purposes I'm just British.

In sexuality, you could find or make up a word for "My aesthetic preference is flibbley-dibbley-do, and I feel X% attracted to men and Y% attracted to women, however X presents thusly and Y presents not-so-thusly, and blah blah blah blah blah." but it's convoluted. Sure, it'll give you a detailed label and sense of an identity that truly and completely aligns with how you feel, but practically every single person on Earth will end up with a different label or set of labels, and we'll lose all sense of community. The community isn't built on identical experience, it's built on similar experience.

I've heard a dozen different descriptions of the difference between aesthetic and sexual attraction, and none of them align with how I feel - none of them take into account an extreme libido or a personality disorder. Maybe there's somebody out there who can put it into words in a way that clicks with my brain and my experiences, and having figured out where my own lines are I'll be more qualified to help others do the same - but, on account of not having found that person yet, I don't have that information to pass on to you.

So, to answer your second question first: No, you're not doomed to be questioning forever - whether you stay as ill-fitting to the common labels as you currently feel that you are, or whether it develops and/or becomes clearer, whether you find it more understandable and easily expressed in the future, is dependent upon a lot of factors (your age, whether you stumble across an article that happens to answer the question that you didn't know you needed to ask, or even sorting out a way that a mental health issue is fogging something, for example).

The truth is that for most people there's likely never going to be a single magical word that stands proudly alone to fully and perfectly describe and encapsulate the complexities of the way that they experience their attraction, and that's okay - that's why we have a bazillion words, the ability to write in paragraphs, and the ability to feel something that doesn't come pre-packaged with a word. The words are descriptive and coined by subjective experiences that aren't your own to form generalized groupings, they're not inherent states of being that we were all built to slot into.

I don't have a favourite colour - I just say "electric blue, pastel blue, or pastel purple" for ease but in reality... who the friggle-frack even has favourite colours? Why? One of my alters loves the colour gold and I cannot for the life of me understand how a person can have a favourite colour, when it completely depends on what it is that's coloured, what the colours are next to, whether you have a headache, what you're seeking out the colour for, and so on. Am I "questioning" my favourite colour? Am I doomed to be "questioning" my favourite colour for the rest of my life? Not really. It's too strong of a word. I'm not striving towards having a favourite colour, I'm just content existing knowing that I enjoy different colours in different circumstances. That's how I am with my sexuality and gender (and some other things) now - I don't think I'm "doomed to be forever questioning", I'm just currently and indefinitely contently inadequately labeled.

My answer to your first question is to wait for a bit, don't pay too much mind to it, maybe read up a little on some people's experiences of identifying as "bi-curious" or discovering their sexuality, but ultimately let it drift to the back of your mind - the more we think about things the more we overanalyze, the more we overanalyze the more we mistake thoughts for something that they're not, the more we find that the thoughts don't fully align with simplistic definitions, and the harder it gets to describe what's going on. If it's inherent to you, it'll be there no matter how little you focus on it, and over time you'll be able to look back and figure out which label is the easiest to succinctly communicate a general "right direction" for your experience, regardless of whether it really captures the nitty-gritty.

Until then, you can do what I do when it comes to the parts of me that I still haven't found "that'll do" labels for, and say "I'm just me." with a shrug... to which I usually get the response "I feel you. All these boxes and numbers, but really we're all just us. You just gotta be yourself."

And as much as I hate to admit it, I gotta agree with those hippies on this one, words are just words, they're not what defines us. Sometimes you have to remember to exist first, to allow yourself to not know things.

But if you do need a word, just remember that it doesn't have to fit like a glove, it doesn't have to perfectly encapsulate all that you are - a blanket is just as good at keeping your hands warm.

~ Vape