#i like coming up with ridiculous nonsense like this i don't even care how unhinged it is to do so

[crispy-ghee]

Larry and Earvin in an Urban Fantasy setting. Two young men with a rare gift who find themselves tied together in ways they barely comprehend. Maybe they have to save the world, Idk.

[abusivelittlebunny]

I hate to bother you again but. You should really finish sandman. Like everyone is unhinged, hot and gay. And i really, really wanna see more stuff with dream getting dicked down so i trust you with it <3

OK major spoil and piping hot tea warning ⚠️

Alright I finished the sandman so here's my personal and might be controversial opinion: I did not like it. I didn't hate it, but I definitely did not like it. I watched the whole thing but honestly I only started because I was in a really bad place and wanted to distract myself by watching some dumb show but the thing is that there were a multitude of things that distracted me but by how frustrating they were.

Listen, I've never read the comics, I've no idea what the discourse is about in the main tag I'm not on Twitter I don't care I don't care, this is just my own opinion and if you do not agree with it or you've enjoyed it yourself then hey kudos to you, I in no way want to take that away from you it's just that I... have beef with it. Not even beef, just frustration.

The whole show is going way too fast, they want to pack as much action and information into every single episode that it just becomes more like a too fast too spinny Rollercoaster where you don't even know what's happening before it's over which is not to say that the plotlines are obscure and deep and if you didn't catch that reference you won't get it, no, the show makes everything very spelled out and very - as we say in Hungarian - chews the food for you and spits it into your mouth. But because of this too fast pace we get no time to emotionally attach ourselves to storylines or characters at all, even Dream is a character we can't feel much sympathy for even though he's the main character because we keep cutting back and forth between different shit happening constantly. The cutting is actually hilarious to me in the first few episodes, -it was ridiculously bad - later on I just didn't pay much attention because I was mainly drawing while occasionally glimpsing up at the screen and mainly just listening because otherwise if I pay too much attention I get too frustrated. So yeah this is more of a put it on in the background and don't take it seriously kind of media.

There's also the problem of like... the acting? Besides the nonsensical storylines (like Dream said his siblings were well-aware of his imprisonment but none have come to his aid and then Death gives a speech that (for me) felt pretentious and made no sense of how she was "worried about him" and how "stupid and self-centered" Dream is for not reaching out to her after he escaped??? Then talking of how she missed him at the family dinners??? Girl literally move a piece of grain to break the fucking dust circle keeping this hoe imprisoned and don't act like he's the one selfish for being traumatized and having abandonment issues. It also pisses me off about her that she's like oh well that ain't shit dude wanted eternal life so you know what sure let's grant him that but then she takes the baby away saying yep that's all you get like. She talks like she's compassionate but does not come across that way at all no matter what music they put in on the background.)

The lady from doctor who who plays Johanna Constantine like. Cannot act for the life of her its so distracting. She has one facial expression and does not change it no matter what the context is, and in that way I sadly have to say she's a good followup for Keanu Reeves' John Constantine. Make no mistake, I find Keanu Reeves lovely, he's a great and gentle sweet person with the most beautiful face on God's green earth and I love the John wick movies he's great at action scenes, but the dearie is not a good actor. Wooden and feels awkward as shit. Same as her. Very beautiful face, very unable to act. The whole storyline with her losing a kid she adored and then her ex girlfriend just felt so horrible to watch but not because of the inherent tragedy of what we witness but because her acting makes us unable to take in that scene. The ex gf's last nice dream is of them smiling at each other on a field but the supporting actress gives so much more depth to it than Johanna who even when she should be acting outraged and concerned we get nothing from her performance nor after when she says goodbye to Dream. There's plenty more where that came from (Lyta's crying scene made me laugh she tried so hard not to show enough grief that would ruin her beauty that it just looked funny) but I had to mention her especially because she really made me want to stop watching altogether. That's not to say there's no good performances in the Sandman tho, the actor that plays Desire completely caught me off guard they are incredible: they barely had any time on screen but they're so expressive and unique and made a shiver run down my spine from just one smile and that chuckle had me screaming its like bestie is compensating for all the bad acting alone I hope to see more of them in the future.

There's also the thing that this show feels more like a collage, which is funny because in the extra episode recently dropped the writer's book that gets Calliope's powers is said to transcend and merge genres which I could feel regarding this show but not in a good way. It doesn't feel innovative it feels like ten different writers are trying to cram in their own ideas of what this show should be about and it feels like a turmix of ingredients not belonging together; the gore feels weird after the whimsical scenes, the Disney like wonder of dreamland is cut short by dwarf Cain putting a red hot poker through dwarf Abel's face for being too sweet, the discussion of loss and trauma and need for love feel meaningless when the cereal convention is shown in such a "fun" "badass" light where a p*do gets screentime with p*do jokes when he's around a kid that make you not laugh but think who the fuck let this be put on screen? If the show wasn't so crammed these contrasts might not feel so obvious but I get that Hollywood is going on 8 lines of pure coke per second and they need to put everything out in as short amount of time as possible, not trusting that these tiktok teens will keep watching if there's even a second of trying to digest what just happened.

There's also a lot of cringey stuff that just made me hurt physically, like the constant Keira Knightley pouting of the main character dude with the Bella Hadid cheek sucking in and the same Edward Cullen stare but I'm sure plenty 15 year old girls who experience this for the first time will wet themselves because they didn't live through the Twilight craze of the late 2000s - early 2010s; or most notably the fight scene between Lucifer and Dream that just made me think of elementary school girls in recess role-playing ponies that freaked me the fuck out when I was a kid. I just kept thinking yeah they gotta dnd fight because Gwendoline Christie could break that cracker biscuit twink in two with a snap of her fingers if it was a physical fight.

Contrary to popular belief I don't think racial and sexual diversity is enough to compensate for the lack of good writing, I think it's a cheap shield to shrug off criticism and dehumanizing to these marginalized groups, which is also very ironic in light of the extra episode where the crusty writer dude says that he wants to cast women and poc for his on screen adaptation and then publicize it so the studio can't back out due to the public backlash it would cause. Very self aware funnily enough. There are also a lot of very convenient resolutions to plots that have me roll my eyes back into my skull constantly but let's not get into all of them because I'll never stop complaining.

But I know you didn't come here to hear my opinion on the show itself only the emo twink in it so let's get into that.

Sure, Morpheous is fuckable, sure he's princess pretty, sure he's a bottom, but the type of bottom that is like how dare you make assumptions that I, an Endless, would enjoy a phallic object in my-kyaaa~♡ so yeah he's a pretentious little bitch that would rather die than ask for what he wants and you will not pull it out of him either you have to fucking read his mind and bear with the disappointed pout when the sex didn't turn out as he didn't fucking wish for. He's also an utter pillowprincess, if you get him into bed he'll not even raise his own legs you have to spread them for him because he's too proud to do so himself even though he loves to get his guts rearranged. I bet he secretly has a kink chamber for his own... well, dreams of what he wants to be done to him where he gets pushed around, held down, savagely taken by a very well trained dream meant to serve him in the most delicious way possible without him having to ask for it. He basically creates himself a pro vibrator rather than ask Hob to fuck his mouth like it is the source of eternal life.

Another gay I want to talk about is the Corinthian. Because he's really a great character and I do believe he's a one true dom vers. He'll rock a twink's shit to Hell and back, and you know he's all for watching as your eyes turn all blissed out when he's milking your prostate, BUT I also think he's a great powerbottom. We mainly saw him flirt with twinks but I do like to think he gets the occasional sexy big bear daddy within his charms and powerbottoms the soul out of them. I mean this stance alone is telling: sexy long legs and sweet strong thighs that'll bounce that ass up and down your dick at such a pace you're two seconds from Heaven and you haven't even tasted those milky tits yet. I mean, if evil why he milfy?

Dream: Corinthian you were my greatest creation I had so much hope for you, you disappoint me greatly-

Corinthian: says the bitch that can't ride nor suck dick so he makes up noncon scenarios for himself where he doesn't need to do all the work 💅

Dream: 👁👄👁

Corinthian: btw how big is Hob's dick or will I get to suck it before you? He might want a bottom that tells him exactly what he wants and two extra holes to stick that dick into-

Dream: SILENCE-

Corinthian: see I can suck dick while maintaining conversations and having a sippy from my drink at the same time-

Dream: BE UNMADE BITCH-

Corinthian: you just mad I can get dicks in the waking world and not make myself dildos out of sand-

Corinthian: *gets unmade*