#i love sasha they're genuinely just a nice person no ulterior motive just good vibes. and they have zero fucks to give about anything ever

[htub]

Vaguely coherent notes on Sasha Schäfer

aka my Smallville!self insert oc because I cannot be stopped

Theme song is Eat You Alive by The Oh Hellos because the vibes are immaculate

They're 24 and moved to Smallville kinda recently, it's their first home away from their family

They live in a refurbished camper at the outskirts of town, and get around by riding a somewhat squeaky old bike (can drive cars, but hate it).

The definition of chill. They're literally just vibing. Sasha honestly does not care about drama and wants to take life easy (although they can and will engage in harmless gossip for Enrichment)

But like, they didn't move to a place that's literally called Smallville to be stressed, goddammit. They may only be 24 but they have Seen Enough and they're retired now. This is their retirement camper. They made the dream of "fuck capitalism" come true and are just vibing now, they intend to stay right here and spend the rest of their life minding their own business, thank you very much.

They grew up in an abusive household, and spent several years working hard until they had enough saved up to afford that beat down camper. They got it fixed up and then proceeded to pack up their shit and get out of there to live their best life.

They're actually pretty gifted, graduated school top of their class and /could/ get into pretty much any field they wanted to. They do not want to. It's entirely a choice. Sasha may have the skills and qualifications but they very much lack the drive to actually do anything with them. Why waste your life working if you actually have the option to just not? They got all they need already, there's nothing left to strive for. Umlimited naps > money

Yes they're smart but they're also stupid it entirely depends on the context

Sole reason they're not dead is a mixture of weird luck and the fact that people generally like them. They have like, zero survival skills, they just sort of. Don't Die. And also do not give any fucks about near-death situations they're just so chill about it it's mildly concerning

Their camper has a bed, small couch, even smaller kitchen with old, run-down appliances and a whole lot of hidden drawers and storage spaces (but even so, there is only so much you can fit in a camper). They even have a little tv in there. It's very much a bare necessities kind of situation, but they don't need any more than what they have. They're the sort of person that will continue to repair things until they absolutely no longer work before finally caving and replacing them.

They got their bike from some neighbor who had a spare they didn't need. Yeah it's old and squeaky but it's got two wheels and gets the job done, so why waste money on a new one? Everything they have is like that. It still works, it's fine. If anyone offered them replacements they wouldn't even want them.

They cannot stand change even if it's positive. So what if they got one of those ovens that need to have a specific sequence of buttons pressed and then kicked at just the right angle to make them work? It's THEIR shitty kitchen appliance!

Very maximalistic despite their tiny living space and low needs. Their camper is filled with what one might assume is clutter, but really it's just lots of trinkets and pictures of or from important people and events. Nothing in there has high monetary value, but everything has a story and a reason for being there.

Sasha does not have a stable job and doesn't want one. They sometimes do little opportunity work like helping out with events or pet/house sitting, but mostly they just rely on the kindness of the community. Essentially they have good relationships with most people – small towns are like that – and get most of their needs met by an informal favor based system. For example, if something in their home breaks, they'll know a guy that will fix it for free. Many neighbors bring them their leftovers if they cooked too much too, so they spend less on groceries. Sasha's survival strategy is just befriending everyone (and it works).

Every older person adopts them and every younger person becomes their new little sibling. On sight. They have no say in this matter.

At some point they met some kid at the Talon struggling with homework and went over to give some pointers, since then it's just become A Thing. Whenever they're over there at after-school times it just turns into a study session. Sometimes they explain, sometimes they just straight up do the work themselves because they just felt like it. The kids tend to buy them drinks so they even get something out of it (but they'd do it either way they don't care). Most kids have their number too. (This, again, ties into the favor system. If Sasha ever needs help from one of the kids or their families, all they gotta do is ask).

Their favorite job is helping out at one of the farms. They don't even want to get paid they just want to get to spend the day with animals and maybe be invited for dinner. Definitely tend to be on the Kent farm just hanging out with the cows. They help with chores and don't get in the way so after a while their presence is just tolerated.

They don't always do work, sometimes they just kind of. Exist in that space. But everyone knows them so nobody really minds, especially since usually they're reading a book or giving one of the animals a thorough cuddle session, which isn't hurting anyone. But like, mild local cryptid vibes. Sometimes they're just There.

Once they become friends Lex keeps trying to buy them shit because his initial reaction to their living arrangement is definitely "damn bitch you live like this??" and also throwing money at people is the only form of affection he's ever learned but Sasha literally does not want it please stop

Probably saw Clark or any other Smallville teen use superpowers at some point and just went "well. that ain't none of my business" and walked away

Weird shit happens in this town at this point they just go straight to Acceptance

And yet, somehow, they keep getting roped in because once you befriend the Main Characters, you're fucked. The plot just keeps happening.