#i may be overgeneralizing a bit with that last paragraph because. tbh with a lot of my friends i'd leap at the chance. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kindnessoverperfection · 8 months

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Me: I can't admit to having a rough time. That's so embarrassing. Seeking support from someone? Pfft nah, they'll be so annoyed with me. Asking them if they want to hang out? Nooo don't do that, they'll just feel stressed out and obligated, and you'll come off as desperate and annoying :/

Me: ....I wish they'd reach out to me instead. Why aren't they reaching out to me instead? They probably don't care about me.

Friend: Hey Cyra just checking in, are you doing okay?

Me: ....This is a test. If I say anything except "nope I'm doing great! :)" or "kinda ehh day but I'll be okay!! [states something positive and immediately changes the subject]" then they'll think I'm a loser and stop wanting to interact with me.

Friend: Hey do you wanna hang out? :)

Me: Oh god. Ugh. If I say no, they'll be all hurt and possibly upset with me, and the relationship will diminish. So I'm obligated I guess. Obligations suck. Why do people have all these expectations of me :/ I'd better stop trying to make friends with people, or they'll control my entire life.

#actuallynpd #what's wrong with meeeeee #i may be overgeneralizing a bit with that last paragraph because. tbh with a lot of my friends i'd leap at the chance.#but if i feel like i'm under extreme scrutiny from that person or i feel like the person uses me to regulate their own emotions (and thus #i feel kinda backed into a corner when asked) then it kicks in #which is probably why i don't often let myself ask ppl to hang out (and why they often decline). bc they can probably read my energy.#grey asks to hang out with someone because she wants to spend time with them. i ask to hang out because i can't stand being alone.

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