#i mean aside from the scene in a hunger like no other when emma sucks the blood outta lachlain's dick

[mermaidsirennikita]

do you have any vampire recs? historical or contemporary not fussy!! thanks 😁

Yes, I do!

My favorite vampire books are from Kresley Cole's Immortals After Dark series. Not all of the books are vampire books, but her vampire mythology is just... top notch. The vampires (who are almost all male thanks to a virus wiping out most of the females years ago) are either born or (much less commonly) turned. Either way, if they're born when they hit their prime, or if they're turned right at the turning, their hearts stop. Which means instant erectile dysfunction for the male vamps lol. But when they meet their "Bride" (a gender neutral term) their heart immediately starts beating, blood flow begins again, and they have a HORRIBLE BONER until they come while touching their Bride. Then of course, they have a lot of "mine mine mine" feelings about it. It's calling being Blooded, and it's FANTASTIC.

Anyway, the vamp books in IAD are:

The Warlord Wants Forever--technically a novella but fairly lengthy for one, the first installment of the whole series. Estonian warlord who runs the armies of one side of this vampire war wants to be Blooded because it'll make him stronger. He meets a femme fatale valkyrie who Bloods him, but she's actually a vampire hunter and, though she nopes out of killing him because Feelings, she leaves him with said horrendous hard-on for FIVE. YEARS. until he finds her. And he's PISSED. TW for magical noncon; Myst has a chain that was put upon her by gods or something, and nobody is able to take it off until Nikolai is. You can command her to do anything when you hold the chain, and he does immediately use it to make her come. And come. I personally found it hot, but obviously it's not for everyone.

No Rest for the Wicked--another vampire/valkyrie book, Nikolai's tortured scholarly brother Sebastian has been hiding in a castle for centuries to avoid everyone (and avoid drinking human blood--Sebastian and his brother Conrad were turned forcibly and hate their existence). Kaderin the Coldhearted, a legendary valkyrie who's known for a) wearing vampire fangs on her belt and b) having no emotions comes in there to kill him, surprise she's his Bride, they have mutual orgasms but then she's like "Oh FUUUUUCK NO" and leaves to begin this magical scavenger hunt thing that will help her bring her sisters back from the dead, and Sebastian is like "but if I win scavenger hunt will she love me?" Includes a mile high club scene and bondage where heeee's tied up.

Dark Needs at Night's Edge--FABULOUS book, Conrad fled as soon as he was forcibly turned into a vampire because, unbeknownst to his brothers, he was a part of a monastic cult that dedicated itself to killing vampires??? Lmao??? And so for centuries he's been this CRAZY BANANAS vampire assassin (in IAD, vamps who drink human blood, unless it's from their Bride, go fucking insane because they harvest the memories of the humans and their minds get clouded). His brothers find him and take him to this New Orleans mansion to detox, basically, but he starts seeing this hot chick??? And he thinks he's crazy (he is) but it's actually a GHOST LADY. A slutty amazing GHOST LADY who I love so much. Only Conrad can see her, and they begin falling in love despite being incapable of touch. Also, Conrad is a virgin. Neomi is... decidedly not. A gorgeous book, one of my all time favorites.

Untouchable by Kresley Cole--another long-ass novella, this one is about the final Wroth brother (Nikolai, Sebastian, and Conrad being the others), The Sexy One, Murdoch. He is Blooded when he meets valkyrie Dani, but she's half ice fey so she literally can't touch anyone who is less cold than her (ie, anyone not ice fey, including vamps) without feeling immense pain and going into shock. So. Issue there. The book is a very straightforward "how can we make this work" love story. They do find their way around the skin to skin contact thing for a while. Humping each other through blankets help. As does... an icicle dildo.... EXCELLENT.

Lothaire--the biggest and baddest (in every sense of the word) vampire romance of them all. Lothaire is a villain throughout the series, he's 3,000 years old, he's incredibly smart, and he is a fucking nutball. Like, the lights are on, and someone is just darting in and out of the house, not really home, but not really un-present (mostly because he's spent 3,000 years murdering people and drinking all the blood). Lothaire is known for his "endgame", he's evil, he finds his Bride and she's some hillbilly human in Appalachia and is like "oh absolutely not"... But when it turns out that human girl, Ellie, is possessed by an evil goddess who intermittently takes control of her body and kills people, he's like "oh wait this makes sense". But Ellie is not ceding control of her body without a fight. It's this amazing battle of wills between a vampire who has been presented as the MOST dreaded throughout the series, and a 24-year-old psych major college dropout who notices that he is HARD. UP. and is like "oh, I can absolutely fuck my way out of this mess". He is horrible. Ellie is perfect. TW, Lothaire is an asshole like... all around. But the love story is top tier and the sex scenes are BEYOND. If you enjoy the "hero has existential post-nut crisis because he's never come harder than with this random girl" thing, this is it.

Shadow's Claim--this one has a slightly more high fantasy feel, even though it's still IAD? Trehan Daciano (Lothaire's cousin lmao) is a prince whose job it is to basically like, murder people. He meets this demon/sorceress princess, Bettina, and recognizes her as his Bride. Bettina thinks she's in love with her best friend, and she's like "uh no" but there's this huge competition, a fight for the death, being put on for her hand, and Trehan is like "good thing I'm actually amazing at killing people" and enters it, while also intermittently entering Bettina. Has the immortal scene where they're all supposed to give her a present and everyone is giving her like, gold, and phoenix feathers, and Trehan is like "oh FUCK all I got her was a BAG OF DECAPITATED HEADS!!!! WHAT DO I DO????"

Other than IAD lol....

I would recommend:

A Long Time Dead by Samara Breger--f/f vampire Victorian romance, one heroine is this sex worker who wakes up and finds she's been turned into a vampire, the other is this lady who's like "yeah sorry about that my ex turned you into a vampire to make a point to me". Then you get into this decades-spanning, Gothic love story that is so good. Also! They break out the strap, which I was pleasantly surprised to see in a Gothic Victorian vampire romance.

A Lady of Rooksgrave Manor by Kathryn Moon--k so this is a polyamorous romance, with the heroine essentially being a sex worker whose job it is to serve a unique clientele (monsters). She ends up falling in love with like... I don't know... five of them? And they're good with it. One of them is a French vampire who I think bakes pastries with her at one point. He's also bisexual, and though not all of the heroes are super into fucking with each other, he is, which leads to a very nice somnophilia type scene.

Blood Moon by Jillian Graves--a very steamy romcom between a witch and a vampire who own rival businesses. They hook up at the beginning, and then she gets PISSED because of the rivalry. Very hot, great fat rep from the heroine, lighthearted.

Kiss of Steel by Bec McMaster--just finished this, so fun and actually quite romantic? It's set in a pseudo-steampunk but not really Victorian England where there are all these monsters incorporated into society, including vampires (though there are like... different grades of vampire, I guess?). The heroine is impoverished, and basically makes a deal offering to give "lessons" to this kingpin vampire (although he doesn't actually call himself a vampire... he very much drinks blood lmao) she hates. He, of course, wants her to swear herself to him as his thrall. It's actually kind of touching? But also hot? Femoral artery blood is had. I also found the world super interesting.