#i mean i do have room mates but its not the same because 1. we're 4 instead of 25 and 2. people usually stay in the room the entire da

[a-heartshaped-object]

i’m finally back home

[erinnkenobi]

After the Fisher King | Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Chapter two - Chapter three

Pairing | Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Warnings | friends to lovers!?

Summary | You're always ahead of 'em, it seems we got another nerd.

Author's note | English ain't my native language, yet I still writing because I want to share the stories inside my head

You start living alone, since the moment moved to work for the FBI, especially in Quatico at the BAU department, surely that you missed your parents, but it was time for the little bird to leave its nest. Although to make you a company you have a trained female German Shepherd, only the both of you sharing a home. (IN a condominium of houses, kind of a safer option, both of your closest neighbours are an old lady and the other is a solo mom with two kids)

The last case you're with Hotchner team, the team that you belong to, you were the only that look askance at Bruno, you reported that to Gideon and he said:–"You always are inclined to think most people are the ones that you should mistrust and...You always get the right unsub, but now, wait a little and maintain this information for yourself, I'll talk with Bruno now."

When you left the room Spencer was following with curiosity:–"What were you two talking about?"

You just can't ignore and sound rude, so you stop and turns to him.

–I think I might know who is the spy..-he interrupts with ease.

Since you two met you were also a strange "kid" from the rest of 'em, you never drank alcohol, not even used to go to pub's, while on working you always were putting a puzzle together or sketching something that resembles the case the team was working, you're quiet most of time thinking while the others start with brainstorming to set up the unsub profile, but you, you always mistrusted people on these cases, except your team, you're the quickiest to ensure the final answer.

At first it was kind tough to get in with the team, although ye are finally were able to communicate with them, Spencer as both of you has the same age he feels comfortable.

– Who do you think it is?-he's by your side now.

– The headmaster...-you say with a unaudible tone, yet he didn't understood you, so he leans down making you blush.

– I didn't understood, could you repeat again?-he leans his face right by your face side, even being an agent this doesn't means you're free from feelings, you mind went blank for milliseconds but thou swear it was minutes.

Spencer Reid heard you plenty well.

– I said, I think 99% our unsub is the old mate of Gideon, the one that is at the command and I'm talking like that because i don't want anybody discovering beforehand it's time, Gideon asked me to hide it.

Reid thought for a couple of seconds.

– Where is the 1%?

– Really?-you rolled your eyes, but he doesn't smile yet still with his blues eyes gluet at your figure filled with curiosity.

– The 1% is just if I made a mistake judging his character, though I know I'm right.

– I believe in you, yet our team should still work on the case.. I won't tell anybody until its time.

– Thanks?

– You know.- he stands in front of you.-You could have said no, that it was confidential your thoughts.-you chuckle unbelievable.

– Why would I do this?

– Because Gideon asked you to do so.- yup, but as you have a crush on him you wouldn't deny it and if you were one more time right, who knows, you like comoliments.

– Because we're mates and you can say, if I were right, "y/l/n was right since the beginning, again".-he giggles shaking his head.

– I don't know what to say, really, but since you're working with us, sometimes you threaten my position and also Gideon's.-you laugh uncomfortably and he noticed apologising quickly.– Sorry I didn't meat to offend you, what I-I...-he stutters.– I'm trying to say is with you, with us, I have to give my best and be by your side.-you opened your eyes surprised, what was he saying?- How do you do that, always guessing the right unsub with lack information?

– Wanna know how?

– Yeah, tell me your secret and I promise I'll keep it, I mean it and I won't tell Gideon.

It was amazing this interaction, you're the first person Spencer was able to maintain a conversation without making him felt uncomfortable.

—Aristotle once said: "No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness", besides it's all my paranoia telling me, they say, to think outside the box and visualise, however, my paranoia is always thinking at the same time in and outside the box now, I guess that our problem is inside the box.-his face brightened, when he was ready to ask one more thing, Hotchner called Spencer.

You're at the hospital waiting for any news of agent Elle when you got a call from Reid.

–You were right, our unsub was Bruno and Gideon mentioned that you were the first to guess it right, is Elle alright?

–Hmmm, thanks.-you say sheepishly.-And yes, she will survive, Gideon is with her now, Nadir and the children are safe?

–Yes, and Hassan is under arrest.

You were able to smile when he said that.

Case closed

[Time breaks]

–Woah.- when you arrived at home last night you received a phone call from Hotchner demanding you show up at BAU, you thought you would enjoy your holiday travelling around London visiting historical museums and libraries, you paid for your ticket and even told your cousin you would pay if he/she helped you looking after your precious dog and now, for what? No London anymore baby.

At BAU, you sit with them around the table.

–What happened? I was supposed to take a plane to London today.

– I know.-Gideon says.-But Hotchner and I received a peculiar message, I received a head in a box, at the only place I thought I were safe with a note, mentioning your last name.-you opened your eyes in shock.

–What it says?

–Not only it says something as well Hotchner also received a phone call that somehow connect you.

– Then..?

– It says "The magician shall not help..."-Hotchner says coming inside the room, stern look as always.

You huff shrinking in the chair.

– and mine says "y/n shall stay out out out out out" repeatedly more than 20 times.

–Wow.-you smile with no humour.–Why? What does it mean?-you already know why.

– It means our unsub wants you out of this case.-Gideon says.

Garcia show up shameful of her acts, just for playing a silly game it exposed everybody position, except yours, why? Well, you used vpn, you're good at blurring your information, your address and even when you're out making your supermarket shopping.

– He has information about everyone.-poor Garcia.-He invaded my-my system, because I was playing a game, but not of BAU computers, yet in mine laptop, however I need to connect.

Yup, you don't blame her, well because you hide your own information, you house isn't addressed correctly and the unsub couldn't get a good picture of you, he knows that you're smart, he don't want the this case ending soon. He knew with you in, you would be the one going to discovery his profile.

Summing up, Hotchner had to ask you to retire only in this case, but you shouldn't go home alone, so Hotchner told an agent to follow with you back home and stay there. But you have a stubborness and reckless behaviour, which Reid knows as well the rest of the team, besides this, when Elle was shot, the plan to make you get rid of this case went downhill, now you're in and you brought your dog.

–Can I pet, what is the name of your dog?-Spencer asks you, getting you surprised, the dog just stared at you as if asking "Can he, mom?Tell my name".

You alert him:-Just be careful, she's trained, any false move and you got yourself a stump.-Reid hesitate and you laughed.-I'm kidding, just be gentle and it's Nala, you know, Lion King, Simba's wife.

He breathe in relief with a grin, he leans down so he could smooth her fur, she accepted without growling, what's a win.

She liked him, but you wouldn't tell, it's not important now.

The rest of the case went okay, the whole time you were found helping Garcia to check the information and between this time you were able to be alone with Reid deciphering the riddles.

He told you about his mother when he called the sanitarium and requested for her presence.

Your dog was asleep near the couch while you were alone with his mother, you were able to maintain a friendly conversation, talking about medieval literature, Spencer saw it before entering the room question his mother.

When everything settled down, Spencer wanted to talk with you in private which you all willingly agreed, when he asked it was so funny the way he asked while gesturing with his hands, you noticed he was nervous.

–So after all this mad case and the explosion afterwards you still up to a "meeting", where's the others?-you look around the table searching for them, you wondered if he'd invited the rest of the team, yet he did not.

Spencer is with pink tints in his face, you got you answer but you will wait for his.

– Well... I didn't invited the rest of the team, only you.

– And why? Did you want to question me why our unsub dismissed miserably my part on this case?

– No, this I already know the answer, you're like Merlin, the sorcerer, you're able to hide your address ip, so you're also a computer genius.

– You flatten me, yet I'm not into TI and software area, but I know a couple of things.

– Much to manage and hide your localisation from the F.B.I and even CIA.-you rolled your eyes with wit.

– You got me now.-you chuckle.

It seemed as a date, yet you strongly disagreed on that matter, you didn't fit his standard, he kissed an actress cases ago.

[...] Spencer escort you to your house, both of you all the way long speaking of nerd stuff, every single topic he was captivated by you and you for him, whatsoever you couldn't be in love, love is not for you.

–Now you're the only one that knows where I live, don't split okay.-you blinked opening hour door.-It's late and I don't think I can't let you go.-oh boy, his stomach churned, yet yours were in full adrenaline but keep with a cool face.– Come in, Nala already knows you.

He hesitated, but you're good at convincing, since the Fisher King case is not safe to be let alone, him in this case, you have your loyal Nala.

Nala is sleep on her own bed near the TV desk in the living room.

–Doctor Reid, I have only my room, you can stay with my bed, I stay with sofa, I don't mind at all.

– No no no, I can use the sofa and you stay with your own bed, please.-you cross your arms staring at him.

– Are you sure?

– Definitely, no worry with me.

You rolled your eyes again with a sheepishly smile.

–I'll change, do you mind?-Reid just reddened shaking negatively his head.

– No no, I don't and..

– I have men clothes, do you want?-for a moment his shy grin fades as quickly as your humorous expression.

– I bought a couple of jumpers and pants at the shopping mall, so I could use when..when..

–When?-Reid stares at you making you feel small.

– When I feel alone, I mean, I have no time to date or anything else rather work or read something to get me out of this world, with male clothes, bigger than my size, I feel comfy.

Oh he understood, first time that he seems you showing any feelings, everybody thought you were more cold-hearted than Hotchner, always cool in any case, as if nothing could surprise you anymore at such young age. How did you ended at BAU?

Well, as far as you can remember you only studied, an exchange program in the UK for 2 years and the other years at the USA and here we are, working at BAU alongside a beautiful colleague that you don't mind admiring from a far.

–I don't know if I..

– It's okay if you don't want and I swear, they're all clean and tidy.

– I didn't meant that they weren't is just

– Hey, I'm not obliging you, but I have an extra toothbrush, never used.

– Thanks.

Minutes later you appeared with a huge navy blue jumper with a star wars short, free hair nothing on it, his heart skipped a beat.

–Hungry? We didn't eat anything for a cozy night and as you're my guest, milk?

–Hm?-poor man is frozen.-I'd like, please.

You both were all smiley here and there while eating a soft lunch before bed time, it wasn't 00h yet.

–Poor Nala is staring at us.-Reid mentions making you look at her puppies eyes.–Can I give a piece of this bread/crackers?

–A medium to small size, just don't make her get used to it, don't fall for these puppy eyes.

He already fell for it, he fell for Nala's owner as smart as he is, he knows that you wouldn't get any of his feelings towards you, but inly if he didn't make a move...

[03h23 a.m]

You couldn't sleep well, so you get up, the funny and silly things is you're hearing voices and low growls trying to communicate .

The hallway heading to the kitchen, you has a roundy wood table and in there you see a sleeplessness Reid with your trained hunt dog, playing, you stood there with arms crossed staring at them, until they stop playing.

– Can't sleep?

– Yeah...

– Me neither.-you come a cross his chair side.-What are you doing, reading one of my books from my living room shelf?

‐ Sorry, I...

– Reid, we're friends, might not be best-friends, but I can believe you with my precious books.

– Wait.. We can be best friends?

– Hmm, I guess we can.-you smile without showing your teeth.

– I didn't know this was the way to claim somebody as best friends, you know, I thought this bond was supposed to happen without we even notice.

– Well, it can happens too, but I guess I'm making this clear now.-thumbs up, you make him smile again.

You both keep talking the whole night until you two fell asleep on the table near each other company, your hand touching his, his fingers slightly caressing yours, you didn't felt anything, you sleep like a damn rock, however Spencer is an early person, so with less than two hours to get up and go to work, he sees you and his hand caressing your, when he's aware he stopped yet still looking your hands near each other, you mutter something under your sleep.

He is now aware that he's fully awaken.

He doesn't want to wake you up, but he died anyway shaking you.

-Hmmm.-you unconsciously pushed him away.-No more cases for today pleasee, I just want to watch a period movie and feel in luuuv.-you complained with a tired tone.-but I work work work work in a madness world of crime.

-Y/n..-he approaches you again.-Wake up, we gotta go to BAU, you need to change and I'll head home.

You wake up atartled by his close presence, he gives you a smile.

–Morning, agent...I mean, y/n.-he says close next to your face with a husky voice.

Oh lord J.

[soupsopsoap]

Alright everyone, don't tell my room mates, since I promised I would go to sleep and stop thinking about data, but we're doing episode 6 season 1. I hear there may be a chart in this episode, and after the last one I am super excited. Ok lets go

I am actually so impressed by his finger throw, how did he know that would work? uh, should it have worked? I mean he still used his whole arm, and its not just the part of his body that's touching the thing, its everything he used that should break right? Like he just got this thing, can babies flex individual fingers? no, they dont have the coordination for that, he should have broken his whole hand at least but whatever

705.3!!!!

Also! Why is the teacher getting mad at him for breaking his bones? We were just shown two students who get sick when they overuse their quirks, who's to say Midoriya doesn't have a minor strength quirk that he is using to its full power? Why are we assuming he just has a powerful quirk that he cant control? If Uraraka floated herself then launched herself across the field, would we be mad at her for throwing up? Or would we be like "hm, maybe this is too much pressure on the students, and we need to pull back a bit until we the teachers better understand their limits." Because idk, if your student is fulling willing to break all the bones in their arm, I'm not sure our first assumption should be arrogance and unwillingness to practice. I think our first assumption should be that we (the teachers) somehow messed up, because why would we ever want our students to break their bones? Clearly we the teachers did something wrong here and should work to understand the issue and take steps to ensure it doesn't happen again, not alLOW THE KID TO GO BREAK A BONE ANYWAY?

Anyway, song, love it. 1000 out of 20 stars

how does this guy use the scarf like that? Does he have telekinesis? I feel like we really need to know these things.

HE HA DRY EYE WHAT???

"oh man, my eye issues make it hard to use my quirk, hey, did that student just break his arm, clearly he cant use his quirk properly" LIKE BUDDY YOU HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM???

Are we going to send him to the nurse or....

My guy go to the nurse

OH BOY A CHART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh come on, that's just a list, why cant i have all their scores pensive emoji

aw well, guess thats the end of the show. He's expelled.

WHAT?? YOURE GOING TO START OFF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR NEW STUDENTS BY LYING TO THEM???? MY GUY???

These kids are never going to come to him for help because of this.......

i could not handle the stress of this school what is hampening

HE DID WHAT? HE CANT JUST? WHAT? THEY LET HIM EXPEL A WHOLE CLASS? I think this guy just doesn't want to teach...

credit where credit is due, trash man did immediately see through all might's terrible acting.

oh boy, bad teachers feud!

Hey question trash man, does recovery girl's quirk drain people's stamina because it just works like that, or is it because she's not trying hard enough? Would she have failed your assessment tes- actually, wouldn't you have failed your own assessment? Unless you erased everyone else's quirks to get an advantage, but would you do that? At hero school? Would you sabotage all your classmates so you could look slightly better at hero school? My guy? My trash man? Would you?

"I can't just keep getting help from others" NOW LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TRASH MAN!! HES BEEN IN YOUR CLASS ONE DAY!!! AND HE ALREADY IS LEARNING TO DISREGARD THE SYSTEMS PUT IN PLACE TO HELP HIM!!!! NO, HE SHOULDN'T BE BREAKING BONES LIKE THAT, BUT MAKING HIM THINK USING THE NURSE IS A WEAKNESS IS ULTIMATLY UNHELPFULL IN ACCOMPLISHING THAT GOAL!!!!!! AAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES IIDA, YES, CATCH ON TO THE BULLYING! HELP MIDORIYA WITH HIS BULLY! USUALLY ID SAY TO GO TO A TEACHER! BUT UH DONT DO THAT THIS TIME.

Aw, he has friends that's so cute :D

OH BOY THEIR CURICULUM! ok here we go, English, Lunch, Hero Training! Seams balanced. I understand there are other classes, this was a joke.

All might, nothing about that was normal

DJDGJFHJF WHY IS HE WALKING LIKE THAT?? All Might is the doesn't-know-how-to-act-like-a-real-human representation we deserve

BATTLE??? DID HE COME IN TO WORK EARLY TO PRINT OFF THAT CARD??? WHY DOES HE HAVE THAT, HE COULD JUST SAY IT, ITS SO SMALL

OH BOY!!! Magical Girl costumes, I'm so excited

no, no, no, stop, there is so much to address here

Ok, first student I see straight up only has gloves on, who let them do that? Second, uh tail boy? you uh, you ever heard of SHIRT? I know gloves kid hasn't. rock guy, purple guy, uhhhhhhh you with the white, black, and yellow? what are you guys doing? The bird is just wearing a cloak. Girl with black ponytail, no. Stop. You also need shirt. ok, Pink girl. what are you doing? And why is the guy next to you cosplaying a frozen cyborg? Bully Boy Bakugo my guy what if you need to use your hands? Uraraka What? IIDA YOUR QUIRK IS GO FAST< WHY THE FULL SUIT OF ARMOR??? Frog, stop, get rid of the googles, what are those for? Tall guy, What is that. WHY IS THIS GUY ALWAYS STARING AT ME AND WHY IS HE ALSO WEARING A FULL SUIT OF ARMOR? ok, this kid is just wearing normal clothes, oh and so is she. People, come on. Ok, last two. um. Very yellow. And you need shirt as well.

Alright, Im done roasting teenagers and their fashion sense. Midoriya better not be wearing something stupid or im going to lose it.

YOU CAN JUST CHANGE YOUR QUIRK IN THE GOVERNMENT DATABASE? WHAT? FHDJDHGFSDJF

Oh mom!

aw, this was sweet, are we still lying to her about the quirk?

no, Midoriya, I said you better *not*be wearing something stupid. The helmet makes you look like a five nights at freddy's character

ok, no more roasting teenagers and their fashion sense, I mean it this time

YIPIEE! Iida chiming in with unnecessary questions that the teacher was just about to explain!!! Truly the representation we deserve

YES FROG!! THERE SHOULD BE BASIC TRAINING FIRST!! I TAKE IT BACK YOUR GOOGLES ARE THE BEST!!!

,,,this isnt going to end well

Ah yes, the most obvious answer, Midoriya faked not having a quirk and went through years of bullying from his former best friend just to prank you in particular Bully Boy. That sounds like a plan a four year old could come up with and carry out.

Hey, maybe if a guy has shown himself to be violent and reckless with his very dangerous quirk, and is bullying your friend, and they're about to have a mock fight. uh. Maybe. Lets do something. Anything. If you can think of a thing to do that is not stand there and let it happen lets try that.

Sure Midoriya, sure buddy. uhhh lets not do this though

Great, this is now two out of two lessons where a student has risked serious injury or death just because. Hey, ever heard of qualified teachers? I think we should get some of those.

OK ALL MIGHT MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP NOW???

wow, major L for bully boy.

Ok, great monologue. Do you want to die on the second day of school?

Well, that was episode 6. Seeing as Midoriya is about to be violently killed in a gruesome explosion, I figure the rest of the show will be following Bully Boy as he deals with the fall out of killing a guy. Yep, that sounds about right. bye

[casspurrjoybell-28]

The Alpha's Addiction - Chapter 9a

*Warning Adult Content*

Outcasts - Part 1 - Kao

Everyone's staring. Whispering.

My stomach churns in anxiety and I clutch Oliver's hand tighter.

What will they think of us as? Outcasts?

Will they judge me for being such a young mother?

I'm only twenty two with an eight year old child.

There are bound to be rumors and speculations, especially if they find out that I am Cyrus's mate.

Cyrus leads us to a large house down the road, explaining that it's the Pack House.

He says we can stay there.

Oliver asks if he can stay with me.

Cyrus says yes, which makes him squeal.

I'm worried for my son.

He's acting so normal, giddy even.

Yet somewhere in this land there lies a dead body slain by him.

There is blood on his hands.

He must be in shock right now, is all I can think.

His mind is blocking out the trauma.

My mind has done the same plenty of times.

*

Cyrus had to leave.

Moon Goddess knows where, which means we're left with Xavier, who awkwardly guides us through the pack house to our supposed room.

I guess being the Alpha's mate 'NOT that I've accepted it' does have its perks because the room is huge, an Alpha-sized bed in the center for the both of us to share.

The walls are a cream color, with a large wardrobe, desk, vanity, bookshelf and private bathroom.

I'm in awe.

It's certainly a big change from Oliver and my previous living arrangement at our old pack's house.

And despite the wealth Zacan liked to boast, it's nicer than anything he gave us either.

"Are you certain we're allowed to stay here?" I ask Xavier, confusion in my voice.

"Don't Omegas usually have to stay in communal quarters? Or cages?"

Xavier frowns, urging us inside the room.

"Not here," he says simply.

Not a man of many words, I see.

Oliver looks enthralled, running around and examining everything in sight.

I smile as I watch the curious expression on his face as he takes it all in.

Maybe this place won't be so bad after all.

A few knocks at the door startles me and all I can see standing there is a person carrying a huge box that covers them.

"Yoo-hoo, Just the room service," the soft, masculine voice says as the man drops the box to the floor.

He's cute, perhaps an Omega, with long, white-blonde hair pulled into a braid over his shoulder.

His eyes are a stormy gray and they widen when they see us.

Or when they see Xavier.

His peachy skin flushes at the sight of the Alpha.

"O-oh, Xavier. I didn't know you were the one escorting them," he stutters out nervously.

The Alpha just nods, crossing his arms at his chest.

"Morgan here will help you get settled in. He's brought you an assortment of clothes and other things."

With that, he's gone, leaving the blushing Morgan standing there awkwardly as Oliver and I look to him expectantly.

"Oh my goodness, how rude of me. I'm Morgan. I'm a teacher at the Pack School," he smiles, coming towards us and holding out a hand.

I shake it, trying not to look too suspicious of him.

I'm not good at meeting new people if you couldn't already tell.

Once we tell him our names he goes back to the box of things and starts unloading it, putting various things all over the room.

"You really don't have to do that..." I say, feeling strange at someone doing tasks for me. I've only ever served others.

"It's no problem at all. You're an omega, right? It's not good for you to strain your back. Bad for your reproductive organs," he grunts, pulling out a pile of clothes and depositing it on the bed.

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"And you aren't?"

"Oh, did you think I was? I get that a lot. Unfortunately, I'm just a Beta," he sighs, looking disappointed.

I wonder why. Isn't that a good thing?

Who in their right mind would want to be an Omega?

As soon as Morgan is gone, Oliver and I take full advantage of the bathroom, which has hot running water.

It's like a fairy tale.

Even while living with Zacan, he made us bathe in a wooden tub I had to fill up with cold buckets of water brought in from the well.

This place and it's irrigation system are nothing short of amazing.

It's only after we're curled up on the bed with the door locked, a chair placed under the knob for extra safety, that Oliver quietly breaks down.

I hold him close, asking what I can do.

But all he does is cry and cry and cry.

My heart breaks for him a thousand times over.

I'm so sorry for what I've put him through.

It's the next day and I wake up early, still not quite used to the lack of an Alpha kicking me awake at the crack of dawn.

Oliver's still sleeping, so I let him rest.

Moon Goddess knows he needs it.

I decide to sniff around, check out the place.

I was given a key so I lock our door from the outside but Oliver can unlock it if he needs to come out.

I quietly make my way down the hall, ears peeled for any voices.

I can hear people in some of the rooms, which means we're not the only ones staying here.

I find a stairwell, going down to the first floor.

I pass by a kitchen, my stomach growling at the wafting scent of grilled meat and fresh vegetables.

The Omegas must be preparing the Alpha and Betas' meals.

I take a peek, shocked to find that there are only a few Omegas among the servants and even Alphas cooking alongside them.

And they also don't really look like servants... they look healthy, well-dressed, content.

I don't get it.

Before one of them can spot me, I'm off down the hallway again.

I don't know exactly what it is I'm looking for.

My wolf is antsy, searching for something.

The sensation draws me to a large double oak carved door at the end of the hall.

I spot the crack in it, noting it's not fully closed.

I hear voices murmuring with in.

One that I recognize. Cyrus.

And another that is similar but older and raspier.

"And you will keep them here?" the older man is asking.

"Why would I not? They should be close to me," Cyrus responds.

I realize they are speaking about Oliver and I.

They have to be.

"Rumors spread like wildfire in this Pack House. I would much prefer it if they stayed off the premises."

"Why would that be a problem? He is my mate. They are under my care."

The older man sighs gravely and I can envision the disapproving look on his face.

"The boy still looks a teenager, yet has already borne a pup. To be mated to such a... promiscuous Omega is not a good look for the Pack Alpha."

Well, I expected as much.

It still stings, humiliates me, though.

As if it was my choice to have a pup so young.

As if I wanted my innocence taken from me.

Yet people are always quick to judge before they even know me.

"You are suggesting that I stray from the Moon Goddess's will?" Cyrus sounds furious.

"Not everyone couples with their fated mate. Your mother and I aren't"

"And look where that has gotten you," Cyrus growls.

"You barely speak."

"Watch your mouth, Cyrus," the older man snaps back and I flinch at the anger in his tone.

"I will when you watch yours, father."

Oh shit. That's his... dad.

The previous Pack Alpha.

And of course, he disapproves of me. Great.

Maybe Oliver's future here isn't something to be considered after all. 

"Do you know what our people are going to think? You really believe that they will accept an Omega with a pup that does not share an ounce of DNA with you as our Luna?"

"It is not as if any of this was my choice," Cyrus shoots back. 

'Ouch.'  

That hurt more than I thought it would.

I don't know why I find myself caring, yet I do.

But it just proves that I was right.

No Alpha will truly want me how I come, flaws and all.

Maybe they'll simply tolerate the parts they don't like because they want an Omega to control.

But truly accepting me? Never. 

Then I hear sudden footsteps coming towards the door and I retreat back down the hall but not before the door swings open, revealing the towering presence of my Alpha mate.

His face is contorted in anger but his eyes widen when he spots me as he slams the door closed. 

"My moon..." he starts as I cross my arms, shooting him a glare.

I turn around, storming off down the hall.

I hear him coming after me immediately.

"Don't you follow me."

"What you just heard..."

I whip around to face him, clenching my fists.

"Oh, that your father thinks I'm a slut?"

"That is not..."

I nearly laugh.

"That's not what he meant? Because I'm pretty fucking sure he was insinuating that I can't keep my legs closed."

Cyrus's face flushes at my words as if he's not used to such language.

I might have just rendered him speechless.

But I'm not done.

I march up to him, icily staring into those pale eyes of his as I jab a finger into his chest.

"Whatever you or your father think of me... it doesn't matter. I already told you. I will never be yours. Not your mate, not your Luna, nor the mother of your child."

The look of hurt on his face almost makes me feel bad.

[murderousginger]

Faded Away

Angel on Fire Chapter 1

John Shelby x reader

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: They're criminals guys, they do bad things.

(gif by @bonniebirddoesgifs)

You giggled as your best friend swung you around on the empty street. Isaiah, Finn and Michael walked behind you both and laughed in various degrees at your foolishness. 

"The girls are already mad," Isaiah said as he stepped forward and took your hand. He pulled you close before twirling you away from him. "We're in for a night, lads."

You laughed and spun with your hands outstretched as he did the same to your friend. 

"They're always mad," Michael scoffed as he rolled his eyes. "They're fuckin' winding up for the snow."

You stopped spinning and raced toward Finn, a mischievous grin on your face as you crashed into his arms. 

"There's no way you're a Shelby, Michael," you laughed as you pressed yourself into Finn. "You're far too dusty. You're a wet blanket."

Finn barked a laugh as he took your wrist and spun you back toward Isaiah. 

"You make no sense, (Y/N)," Michael scowled as he lit a cigarette. "Am I dry or am I wet? You can't make up your mind."

Your friend trilled a laugh. You rolled your eyes as she left Isaiah's grasp to cling to Michael. 

"You know our girl," she joked as her hand found his chest. "Always too busy with her own thoughts to make much sense. I don't think you're dry at all, Michael."

"That's because you'll wet him right up, won't you?" You said exasperated. 

Finn and Isaiah laughed as Michael coughed on his cigarette. Isaiah winked at you and lifted his arm. You ran into his side to claim his warmth as he pulled you close. 

"Be nice to little boss," he chastised before his tone lowered as if to tell you a scary story. "Too much longer and he'll be just like Tommy, and you wouldn't dare say such a thing to him."

The night was like most nights. You and your friend went with the Peaky boys to the Garrison under the promise of drinks and snow. You'd been doing it for years, long before Michael joined the little crew, and it was old hat by now. The boys liked the entertainment and needed you to parade their product and make a scene to attract customers. You got your drinks and snow free as long as you attracted attention. Sometimes Isaiah or Finn would give you a cut of their cash on an especially good night. There were worse things to do to get extra coin. 

"I don't take anything the bait says to heart," Michael said. "They're not much more than pretty wrapping to attract the men and put the girls at ease."

"But we are pretty," you pouted mockingly as you cocked your head back to see Michael. "You might not have a use for smart girls, but you have use for pretty."

Michael inhaled his cigarette, taking his time, making you wait for his response. Hang on it. He loved to make everyone wait on him like it was a sign that he was in charge of things. If everyone hung on his word, you'd all forget to breathe until he did. He'd become in charge of everything, including the air in your lungs. 

The smoke lifted from his mouth and into his nostrils before he exhaled it all away. 

"And your mouth is good reason to find better bait," Michael said evenly. His eyes were always so cold. You shuddered involuntarily as you lost eye contact with him and turned back around.

"Oh now, little boss," Isaiah pish-poshed. "You know (Y/N), she means no harm. Besides, these two fillies are the bread and butter of our nights."

Isaiah tucked you into his side with a squeeze, smiling down at you. You wrapped an arm around him inside his coat and squeezed back.

"You watch your hands, now," he joked. "I'm a respectable young man."

You threw your head back against his arm with a loud laugh and met his gaze nose to nose.

"Isaiah Jesus, your name might be holy but you are sinful as they come," you taunted, ghosting your lips across his. 

Isaiah mocked shock, good mouth agape as he shot a look to Finn who had sped up to walk beside you two. 

"Finn, did you hear what she said?" Isaiah said as his free hand clutched his heart. "She called me sinful. She's yours now, mate. My heart's done broke for the night."

He dropped his arm from your shoulder and playfully pushed you into Finn who caught your arm as you stumbled his way. 

"Striking out with everyone already, are ye?" Finn chuckled. "Not a good omen for the night."

"You know why Isaiah calls him 'little boss,' right?" You taunted, loudly whispering so everyone could hear. 

"Yeah, why's that, then?" Michael said, mouth tight as your friend hung on him.

"Shhhh," your scowled at him before turning your full attention to Finn. "I'm talking to a real Shelby." 

Michael scoffed behind you. 

"Yeah, Finn's a real asset to the company," Michael deadpanned. 

Finn's face grew tight. You quickly grabbed his chin and made him look at you. 

"Hey now, boss," you said lightly. "You pay no attention to Mr. Fancypants over there. You're more man than he'll ever be. He's just acting tough to make up for all those years in his perfect little village."

Finn's lip twitched and his face relaxed into a small smile. You playfully knuckled his chin and kissed his cheek.

"Enough now," Isaiah called as he took the lead of the group. "We're almost to the pub, just stop bickering and have a good time, yeah?"

You all toned in agreement. 

You felt a weight in your stomach as you reached the Garrison and saw the people pushing to fit in the pub. You had been going most nights every week for ages, on top of your day job at a desk, and honestly the booze and the drugs had started to lose its appeal. 

"Come on," your friend squealed as she dragged you through the doors.

The pub was packed, but the sight of the boys behind you cleared a path to a table. It's occupants stared at your group wide eyed before quickly tipping their hats and leaving their seats. Finn pulled a chair back for you and you playfully patted his cheek as you sat, your friend sitting across the table next to Michael. Finn and Isaiah sat with you in the middle, your back to the busiest part of the pub. The seat made you uneasy, vulnerable. 

You jumped as you felt a hand brush your shoulder. 

"Here ya'ar," Harry said briskly as he sat whiskey down for everyone and gave the boys beers as well. 

The table mumbled their thanks and the boys started a conversation you quickly tuned out. You looked around you to the other patrons, scoping out who could be reeled in for snow or smoke or even the bit of opium in Isaiah's pocket. 

Most were men tired from the long day of work, but there were pockets of young people with girls your own age that were out for a raucous night. You always focused on them. They usually had the money and the nights to lose. Asking the working men always felt like taking food out of their family's mouths, and the extra layer of scum from the thought sickened you.

"You don't have to go to scoping right away," Finn yelled down your ear to overcome the boon of voices surrounding you. "Relax. Have your drink. We're all friends here, are we not? No need to rush off right away."

You smiled thinly and nodded, looking back to the table. Michael had his arm swung around your friend's shoulders and she had taken his cigarette to smoke while he continued on some sort about the office. You only heard every other word from the roar of the pub, but he leaned forward to slap the table and the boys erupted with laughter, so you chuckled weakly along. 

Isaiah wrapped an arm around you absentmindedly as he went on with his story and you ran your middle finger around the rim of your whiskey glass.

"So Arthur sent me to collect from…"

You toned him out, thoughts swirling your head as you circled your glass. Did you want to drink? Should you? It would surely help with your nerves from the noise. But oh, being drunk had become so dull. 

"... And I said 'well we either take your eyes out your coin, you choose!'" Isaiah said as he rocked back in his chair and put his hands behind his head, his smile smug. 

"Give 'em protection and they don't even wanna pay for it," Finn scoffed. "Bloody ungrateful."

You gritted your teeth together before you gripped your glass and drank it down in one go. The whiskey coated your throat and burned down your throat to the brick in your stomach. It eased your muscles as you rolled your tongue against your teeth. I guess we're doing this again.

It might have eased your body, but the crowd felt louder, more invasive. Having your back to the door felt like wearing a target. You itched to move. You looked around the pub again, your hand idly on your glass as you skimmed the crowd. A set of eyes locked with yours. 

You smiled slowly, raising a brow in challenge. The young man smiled back. He wasn't ugly, nor was he entirely attractive. Just a random face in the pub to pull to the table to sell some tokyo. A little flirting might get you a drink from the deal. You tilted your head slightly, looking over to the bar and back to the man before you twisted back around to the table. You stood up with your glass, bent slightly to Isaiah's ear. 

"Got a bite," you said. "I'll be at the bar."

Isaiah nodded. 

"Feel him out and bring him 'round then, yeah?"

You stood up and made your way for two seats near the end of the bar, near the private Shelby room. You sat down on the one farther in, giving the man a clean exit if he was uninterested in what you were willing to offer. 

You held your breath until you felt someone stand beside you.

"(Y/N)," He nodded as he pulled out the chair and sat. 

"John," you replied, mimicking his tone but you couldn't help but lift a brow in surprise of the older Shelby boy joining you at the bar top.

You both were around each other enough to know of each other, but you rarely spoke. You stayed around the younger group and away from Tommy and Arthur. The oldest two were nice enough, but you knew their business and had seen when they decided not to be nice. Better to keep your head down and stick to the younger men who were still enamored with snow and tits. 

John lit a cigarette and watched as you ran a finger around the rim of your empty glass, not daring to turn to look him in the eye.

"You're not yourself lately," he said with an easy smile before he inhaled his cigarette. 

He pulled it from his lips and let out an exhale as he nudged you with his shoulder and offered it to you. 

"How do you know what I'm like?" Your finger froze on the glass before your hand fell to the side. 

You picked up your glass to drink, but at it down as you realized it was still empty. You slowly turned your head to look back at him.

"You're grinning gunpowder most nights, ready to blow at a moment's notice," John chuckled as his eyes roamed your face and down your body. "Lately you've been different. Not all checked in."

"That so?" You smirked as you took his cigarette from his hand and took a puff. You sized him up as your hand rested the cigarette on the counter. "Do you usually watch your little brother's pals this closely?"

John gave a short laugh. 

"You should see Tommy," he said. "He knows every dirty secret of anyone who so much as spends a night around a Blinder."

"Smokes and mirrors," you said before you brought the cigarette back to your lips and inhaled. "You didn't answer my question."

"No."

"So why'd you sit by me, then?" You exhaled with a curl of smoke. "Tommy making sure one of his brother's bait girls isn't stepping out of line?"

"Is that it?" John said as he took his cigarette back. "You like a boy that's not a Blinder and rather be with him most nights?"

You snorted. 

"There's no boy," you said incredulously. "Think me that foolish? Or that shallow?"

"Well if it's not a boy you aren't knocked up," John said as he smoked. 

"Not everything is sex and drugs, Shelby," you scoffed. "I know none of you believe that, but it's true."

"Who says we don't believe in more than that?" John said. "Sometimes we believe in guns."

You rolled your eyes but couldn't help but crack a smile. 

"Ehhh, see?" John said as he nudged your shoulder. "There's still a bit of the old girl in there."

"The old girl is just getting sick of the same old thing," you mumbled. 

"What's that?" John frowned. 

Harry appeared, hastily wiping the bar as he set out a glass for John and refilled yours. 

"Sorry, sir," Harry rasped. "Night's a bit crazy. Makes me think we should hire another as help."

"It'sfine," John nodded at Harry as he wrapped his hand around his drink and turned toward you. "Now what're you on about?"

"I asked what you were after," you said louder. "You older ones don't bless us with your presence much."

"Not that much older," John grinned. "You're Isaiah's age, right? Six year age gap is nothin'."

"You know I'm not myself and my age," you said amused as you squeezed your glass, "but you won't tell me what you're after. Mr. Shelby, are you chasing after bait?"

John smiled, a mischievous glint in his eye. 

"Love," he said as smoke poured through his teeth. "I don't chase no one."

Masterlist

[imaginebabygurl]

Love me... Part 2

Here we are Volterra, to be honest I thought it would look... Idk more ... menacing? Idk but it was actually a really beautiful place and quiet peaceful. Old couples enjoying drink at a near by cafe and children running along the streets and then there was us. We stuck out like a sore thumb. But to be honest I Don't think anyone really minded, they probably though we were tourist of some sort.

Anyways making our way to the castle, it lookes really beautiful and as soon as we walk in two strange looking teenagers, wait I'm still a teenager but they looked weird and eternally in pain. Well I heard they had a tragic back story they had almost been burn at a stake and their called the witch twins what a cruel fate for misunderstanding. People being irrational and having mob mentality.

"You must be the human, we've been waiting for." The one with blonde hair placed in a neat bun, not a single hair lead astray. That must have beem Jane and then her brother Alce finished what the rest of the sentance.

"We shouldn't keep the Kings waiting sister."

"Yes your right, Cullens.Swan. Let's go we've wasted too much time and Cauis is getting impatience."

Without another word they both simultaneously walked away, which was really weird. Another thing that name Caius, it made me feel werid but this was no time to focus on feelings.

As we walk over to the throne room Alice had fallen came beside me in the back.

"Y/n listen there something and I should have told this before but your gonna meet the kings and your gonna fall in love with one of them ."

I stopped in my tracks.

"Wait what no! With who?!"

Before Alice got a chance to speak Jane spoke.

"Please keep moving." Jane said

"Unless you want your friend to be a snack to the lower gaurds." Followed Alec.

As soon as we walked through the door I saw him, I felt him even though I had never seen him...I just knew that's who Alice was taking about. A blonde haired man sitting on right side of the three thrones. He looked cruel and bored, as well as tired of this whole thing, but then he noticed me staring and stared back. With judgement and I didn't know wether it was good or bad just staring into my soul and all their eyes were so red. But that was because of the fact that they drank human blood.

Then Aro and Carlise spoke I was informed a little bit about the Volturi, thanks to Carlisle and their history together.

Aro the one with the shimmery glint in his eyes and an all to perfect smile.

"Friends Welcome and so good to see the new Cullen...Bella."

Something about the way the he talked was a mix of emotions bizarre and frightening but also alluring.

"We're fine thank youbfor having us and being able to disscuss. But of course its not my final say,Y/n dear are you ready. " Carlisle said.

"I-I guess so."

"I think we should have her as a meal." The Jane said and with a loud hiss everyone turned to the blonde man.

"What an interesting match". The man with a solemn face say.

Aro looked back and said "brother what do you mean?"

"Y/n and Caius are to be mates." Plainly and Caius hissed "Is that even possible?"

"I guess so."

"But our dear Y/n its up to you short and simple to live or to die but you do have a interesting gift."

"I'd rather die."

"What?!!Y/n No!!" Everyone Shouted

Aro sighed " what a shame.Felix."

"No."

Caius help me in his arms and had a tight grip he looked intensely in my eyes and I wondered how can a man be so friengthening yet beautiful at the same time.

"Y/n your mine and if you think your gonna choose death then your sadly mistaken."

And with that Caius bit down hard into Y/n's neck and she screamedes with agony as her screams echoed throughout the castle walls then everything went black.

Y/n had woken up she doesn't know if it was hours, days or months. But she knew that she was different her smell was heightened, things were much clearer.

I woke in bed quickly went to the bathroom and I looked different the major differance was my now ruby red eyes. Also I went to a big glass mirror that stood beside a giant window I pulled back the curtaind and my (s/c) sparkled inn the sunlight.

And with a flash he was behind me looking at me taking in my presence.

"Your beautiful." And kissed me on the right side of my temple.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [So, AM before community service vibe, hit me with it] Jimmy: [I think he made her breakfast but he didn't make her breakfast in a cute way he just like threw it at her lowkey and all his focus is on the kids and Twix so even if he brought it to her in his room which he probably would, he was just like straight in and straight out with nothing to say] Janis: [which she'd probably brush off as just that tbh 'cos not a dick and already knows he lowkey does everything for them, so she's not gonna be fully freaked out as of yet even if it's a bit awkward, they sometimes can be still at this point so it'd be like oh but not OH yet] Jimmy: [we all know he's not a chatty kathy and neither of you are looking forward to community service so yeah it's just like okay but then he's also not saying a word on this bus/train whatever they are using to get their ride] Janis: [and there's no not noticing that] Jimmy: [like he's probably got headphones on and he hasn't shared/ is drawing the whole time etc be more of an antisocial teen I dare you] Janis: [like she'd be trying to get him to chat for a bit but she's not gonna not take a hint so then it's awkward] Jimmy: [well done boy so mature of you] Janis: [save the row for after community service though 'cos cutting you the slack of maybe you're dreading it that hard/are that pissed off about it, as if she isn't too/this was fully your idea to get into trouble as well] Jimmy: [I love that you wanna give him the benefit of the doubt babe and obvs there is a bit of FML because he's got a full plate/doesn't wanna do this/is still in dublin when he was doing it so they could leave etc but we know what's really up] Janis: [to be fair, it's more like not dying to have this convo, like don't wanna seem like you're #tookeen even though expecting him to be normal ain't that but still] Jimmy: [can't be Grace about it in any way, don't blame you girl] Janis: [so obviously once this awkward however many hours is over, going your separate ways which brings us up to speed] Jimmy: [how hardcore he would've ignored her makes me die like how are you keeping that up for that long, you aren't that busy] Janis: [it'd be hilariously obvious if it weren't making her fuming instead, like] Jimmy: [thank god he's at least got his dad and siblings in his grill to distract him because we all know how badly you wanna break that resolve and just say something to her] Janis: [meanwhile nothing but time 'cos you ain't even trying to go home rn] Janis: If it's gonna be a problem for you, I'm sure I can get moved onto different hours or a different project altogether Jimmy: Do what you want Janis: It's community service, hardly comes into the equation Jimmy: you get what I mean Janis: Sure Janis: if it makes no odds to you then you don't need to make such a job out of ignoring me, like Jimmy: you don't need to flatter yourself that hard, mate Jimmy: bit busy weren't we Janis: Again, hardly Janis: it wasn't that taxing but yeah, you seemed well stuck in Jimmy: ain't such an athlete like you or nowt but gotta give it 🥇 Janis: If you like Janis: long as you show up, they record your hours either way Jimmy: sound like you've done this before Janis: I don't want to make my rap sheet any longer than it is, if that's what you're so concerned about Jimmy: yeah first priority that, keeping you on the straight and narrow 👮 Janis: Now you've got jokes Jimmy: Who's joking? Janis: That's my question Jimmy: I've CLEARLY got nowt else on, what with community service being such a piece of piss and you being a dream come true Jimmy: 'course you're gonna be top priority Janis: Don't be a dick to try and win an argument we ain't having Janis: obviously you don't wanna do it, neither do I Janis: but you signed up for it, I didn't force you so no point being moody with me over it Jimmy: 1. I am dick and I've never been nowt else Jimmy: 2. I could give less of a shit about community service, I told you that before Jimmy: 3. I signed up for getting in trouble, like you said, this is barely it Janis: I'm not disagreeing but you've always asserted you ain't thick so you've changed your stance on that one or you're being a stupid dick right now Janis: so your plan didn't work and your next one is to work really hard at said not trouble Janis: that makes sense, sure, tah for clearing it up Jimmy: You an' all so you should know what this about and what it ain't about Janis: That's code for let me ignore you in peace, thinly-veiled at best Janis: like I said, I'll move and then you can, if that's all you've got to worry about, you're welcome Jimmy: it's not code for owt it's a loud and clear, leave it out Jimmy: I didn't sign up for this Janis: For what? Jimmy: You're gonna try and fake this now, are you? Jimmy: like you don't get it Janis: I literally don't know what your problem is Janis: stop being a pussy and say it then I will Jimmy: Then just get out of my face Janis: I'm not in your face, fucking hell Jimmy: You're in my head and I don't want you there, alright? Janis: I didn't put myself there Jimmy: it's my fault then, whatever, nowt should've happened Janis: Alright Janis: then forget it did Janis: what, I'm gonna force you to do that now too, fuck off Jimmy: how the fuck is everything so easy for you? it's getting beyond a joke now, rich girl Janis: It ain't Janis: but what the fuck am I gonna do in response to that, ignore you back? Jimmy: Why not? It's obvs working so well for me over here Jimmy: that'll be why I need you to spell out what I should be doing as a next move Janis: I'm not going to tell you what to do on that one, that'd be fucked up Janis: you make up your own mind but you didn't ask me mine or give me a fucking chance to explain it either so yeah Janis: don't be assuming fuck all about my side of it Jimmy: I don't wanna hear your side Janis: Then yeah, you shouldn't have done it Jimmy: Tah for keeping up with what I said ages ago Janis: Whatever Jimmy: just fuck off out of it Janis: Fuck off telling me what to do Jimmy: or what? Jimmy: shit'll get worse than this? Janis: Your life is shit, yeah Janis: and I'm making it worse? Janis: Alright, if it were my fault then you'd be able to do something about it but it ain't so you're still fucked Jimmy: so comforting you Janis: you don't want comforting Jimmy: What do I want? Go on Janis: I don't know and I'm not offering an answer Jimmy: shut up then Janis: Why should I Janis: and why have you Jimmy: what kind of question is that for fuck's sake? Jimmy: I'm trying to sort my head out here and you're Jimmy: you're just Janis: Your head is fucked Janis: who's ain't Janis: I was just being your mate Jimmy: I can't forget about it Jimmy: or you Janis: You didn't look like you were having no trouble icing me out all day Jimmy: well I were Janis: Do you actually have to Jimmy: What else am I gonna do? Janis: Just be my mate, like before Janis: doesn't need to be complicated, like Jimmy: When were it simple? Janis: alright, so simple is an oversimplification Janis: I'm not fucking asking to be your top priority or dream or anything like that though, thanks Jimmy: And I'm not really saying that Jimmy: but being around you is like a ⏲ on a 💣 Janis: Well, why can't you Janis: why can't we Jimmy: How can we? Janis: seemed like you had the hang of it last night Jimmy: funny Janis: I don't think it needs to be serious Janis: mope about the state of the rest of your affairs all you want Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: we had a plan, this weren't part of it Jimmy: that's all I'm saying Janis: It don't need to be related to that either Janis: it ain't Jimmy: Alright Janis: we hooked up 'cos we wanted to, yeah Janis: so what Jimmy: I'm sorry for being a dickhead Janis: always have been Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: take my sorry Janis: I don't want it Janis: just Jimmy: so what do you want? Janis: Tell me what you want Janis: then if its the same and we need to change some rules then we can Janis: and if it ain't then at least I know and we can go back or not do it at all Jimmy: I asked you first Jimmy: and I showed you before that Janis: alright Janis: well I wanna do it again, obviously Janis: but not if you're gonna be a total twat, like Jimmy: I'm probably gonna be a massive twat Janis: You know what I mean Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: I'll try and be a massive twat in a way you'll like, alright? Janis: My type, yeah, I remember the bit Janis: Be whoever you want, we don't have to know each other for this either Janis: no more than we do now Jimmy: mates, I remember an' all Janis: Right, so you don't have to blank me and be awkward, there's no point making this community service shit worse Janis: obviously the fake shit could confuse it but we know it's fake and anything that'd be weird to bullshit now we can cut out, change the rules, that's what I mean Jimmy: I won't make it weird again Janis: I get it Janis: 'cos I was still there in the AM, yeah Janis: we won't do that again Jimmy: I just Jimmy: it's been ages and I weren't expecting owt to happen, least of all with you Janis: Likewise Janis: weren't the worst thing to ever happen though, was it Jimmy: I wouldn't want it to happen again if it were, that kinda thing ain't a #kinkunlocked soz if you're 💔 Jimmy: I know Mr Lucas is well into that shit but he's one of a kind, like Janis: Lucky for you we're not here to compare and contrast Jimmy: gutted for you 'cause you'd actually be 🥇 stood next to my ex Janis: can't all be RE teachers with halitosis 😍 Janis: I'll hold back on the sympathy card for her for now Jimmy: she'd never read it, can't Janis: 😏 shut up Jimmy: you don't want me to Jimmy: had a right mard on about my silence Janis: if you hadn't had enough of me telling you what a dickhead you are, I could carry on Jimmy: can never get enough foreplay me Janis: clearly Jimmy: you coming round or where are we going? Janis: There's probably a rule about this I should know, yeah Jimmy: you said we're writing our own rules Jimmy: has Bill's 👻 got his hopes up for nowt? Janis: nah, sounds like more fun than making you wait 3-5 working days 'cos you've pissed me off Janis: which I'm pretty sure is the advice so Janis: where else can we go right now Jimmy: my dad's car can take us anywhere you wanna go Jimmy: or just be the place we're alone in Janis: Alright Janis: gonna say, you don't need to take me anywhere Jimmy: bit 💔 that we didn't have this chat earlier, I'd have taken you all over our new bestie's house Janis: Likewise Janis: there'll sadly be other bullshit parties where less sadly you can actually mess my hair up Jimmy: you reckon we can use our new status with 'em to demand 💀👑 has a party at hers right now? Janis: Worth a shot Janis: bet she LOVES being a wingwoman Janis: ask if we can borrow one of her guest beds Jimmy: only if we actually use hers Jimmy: she LOVES a lie Janis: worth the risk of her NEVER cleaning her sheets again tbh Jimmy: she'd never have the strength tbf Jimmy: and all her maids are probably running round decapitated so Janis: 🐍 can definitely eat 🐔s whole Jimmy: yeah but then the 🐔 ain't crossing any roads to get her a new lad to torture or owt else she might NEED Janis: Ohh so that's what that's about Janis: makes so much sense Jimmy: 😱😱 SHE SAID NO 😱😱😱 Janis: 😩😩😩 Janis: like, jealousy is a disease, babes Jimmy: Asia said yeah but I dunno if I wanna go to her house Jimmy: might never make my way out again Janis: NEVER having a threesome with you and Asia Janis: idc how accomodating she is Jimmy: spoilsport Jimmy: accept the invite to the group 🗨 I started at least Jimmy: we're having a bloody top time Janis: I guarantee I can think of plenty more fun games to play Janis: all part of the foreplay, yeah, gotcha Jimmy: you tell me where to pick you up from or is hide and seek the first game? Janis: [somewhere in town that's not near his enough that she would just walk] Jimmy: Alright, hang on Janis: Feeling well patient Jimmy: [a 🔥 sext] Jimmy: that'll help Janis: I hate you Janis: not like I've been thinking about it since you left Janis: or like I'm in public rn Jimmy: 🤔 that don't sound like you hate me enough Jimmy: [an even more 🔥 sext] Janis: Jimmy Janis: I hate you so much Jimmy: I'm alright with that Janis: Good Janis: 'cos I intend on showing you just how much when you get here Jimmy: 🤞 I only get done for speeding on the way back Janis: 👮 cockblocking is not a thing I wanna get used to in my daily Jimmy: be alright, they look after their own, weren't that what you said? Janis: Sure, your fake ID also your badge, like? Jimmy: you gonna let me have any secrets? Janis: Depends, of course Jimmy: go on Janis: How interesting it is Janis: keep your boring ones by all means Jimmy: they're all boring 💔 I know Janis: I'll survive Janis: no fear Jimmy: unless I 💀💀💀 you Janis: yeah right Janis: catch me holding my breath on that one 😏 Jimmy: might be hard to breathe normally in a bit, yeah Jimmy: I get that Janis: Shh Jimmy: no need, there's nobody to risk waking up this time Janis: 1. I wasn't even that loud Janis: 2. I don't think anyone even woke up anyway Janis: 3. was your fault so Jimmy: 1. too right you weren't, that's what I'm saying, can be as loud as you want now Jimmy: 2. I'll take the blame for last night and the credit for the 🔊 in a bit Janis: Don't reckon your dad's car is soundproof Janis: but yeah, we can find out Jimmy: weren't planning to leave it somewhere any dickhead can enjoy the show Janis: Good to know Janis: can't just ambush a person with dogging, v rude Jimmy: heads up for next time then Jimmy: can't enjoy myself without 👴 about Janis: Fair play Janis: Lucas was in your wardrobe so 🤷 Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: tah, the reminder'll get me through this Janis: So charming Janis: go back to telling me to fuck off, that was better tbh Jimmy: I've got hotter chat but if that's what you wanna hear Janis: Really Janis: where have all these words sprung from then Jimmy: feeling inspired Janis: 👻🖋💘 Jimmy: you're trying to give Bill my 🥇? bit rude Janis: I'm saying he'll be buzzing Janis: s'one old pervert who'll always be about Jimmy: well now I am an' all Jimmy: won't have to fake nowt for you, what a relief Janis: Funny 🙄 Jimmy: what's funnier is I might be lost Janis: You better be joking Jimmy: I'm just warning you, girl, I'm surrounded by houses, which don't look right for where you said you were Janis: What are you like Janis: no, I'm not getting you to pick me up from my previous, like Jimmy: 😎🚬 obvs Jimmy: hang on, I can do this Janis: Your navigational skillz ain't required for foreplay Jimmy: wouldn't be decent if I had none though Janis: 😂 Jimmy: Alright, I'm back where I fucked this up ⏲🤞 Janis: My faith is so real Janis: 🙏🙌😇 Jimmy: 😈 me Jimmy: got you something for the sorry you don't want Janis: I'm suspicious Jimmy: as long as my dad ain't Janis: You just stolen his car or? 🤔 hmm Jimmy: his car and the most #goals bottle from his stash Janis: 😍 Janis: that's for the bottle, obvs Jimmy: charming Janis: not faking shit, remember Jimmy: I'll have my 😭 when we've gone our separate ways and you're cracking on with the drink Janis: your loss if you ain't staying around to finish it with me Jimmy: would be a 💔 loss Janis: Be smart then Jimmy: don't sound like me that Jimmy: but alright, I'll have a go Janis: you have to stick around for a bit anyway Janis: give me chance to actually earn that 🥇 Jimmy: I've got nowt else on, been smart there, 'cause knowing you it'll take ages Janis: Piss off Janis: you don't know, that's the point Jimmy: calm down, mysterious lass not gonna unlock your secrets and your kinks Jimmy: have still got a job to go to, like Jimmy: can't be on a constant clock with you Janis: You coming to fuck or what Janis: don't put yourself down so much 💕 Jimmy: the point I were making were, if it's one of the other, we're both agreed on which one's getting 🔓 Jimmy: ain't trying to read your diary even if I were capable Janis: Duh Janis: Point I was making is you don't know how long it'll take me 'cos you didn't give me no chance Janis: no deeper than that, gotta relax, mate Jimmy: giving you the chance now, dickhead Janis: so grateful 🤤🤤😍 Jimmy: dunno how grateful this car will let you be but if anyone's a pro at 🙏🙌😇 against them 😈 odds it'll be you, Jules Jimmy: truly inspiring shit Janis: Bigger than confessional Janis: I got this Jimmy: time's come to prove it Jimmy: get in the car please Janis: As you asked nicely Janis: and I have wanted to do this all day Janis: [sup] Jimmy: [hands her the #goals because it's unopened bottle like good evening] Janis: [does the 'not bad' face like okay boy, I see you 'maybe finishing the whole thing and getting this car back in one piece is a bit ambitious then'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like challenge accepted and starts driving them to wherever they can get enough privacy so enjoy the VIBE in this car for a bit lads] Janis: [trying to think of a way to say 'I missed you' that isn't purely that 'cos not trying to freak him out again so sat there drinking and 🤔] Jimmy: [sneaking all the looks at her that he can while still safely driving because ofc] Janis: [same obvs 'cos not driving so can be more shameless so enjoy all that accidental eye contact 'today was so...boring'] Jimmy: ['tomorrow'll be owt but' another look like challenge accepted and 😏 though god knows what you think you're gonna get away with sir] Janis: [IRL 🤞 and a shrug 'it can be'] Jimmy: [reaches over and uncrosses her fingers and then writes 'will' as in it will be on her hand with his fingertip like I got this] Janis: [just casually way too affected by that simple touch 'cos it's been a whole day and you're high-key, holding his hand for a bit but like HARD not cutesy 'cos intense af rn and then letting it fall to rest in your lap like hey] Jimmy: [driving a bit faster so you can get there faster without even really being aware of it and obvs leaving that hand there] Janis: ['you're not gonna get lost this time, yeah' half question half observation] Jimmy: ['be your fault if I do, won't it?' because she's his human sat nav but also v distracting] Janis: ['can't be that bothered, lost is where we need to be right now'] Jimmy: [nods because where's the lie] Janis: [just giving him swigs from the bottle like your parents' spidey senses are going off so hard rn] Jimmy: [I'm internally screaming you bad eggs] Janis: [my boo say safety first] Jimmy: [he 100% doesn't have his seatbelt on either because of that rib injury #tut tut] Janis: [I'm loling you grandma ily] Jimmy: [I do hate seatbelts tbf they are so uncomfy] Janis: [tru tea, we out here risking it all in all the ways Jimmy: [to be a 15 year old rebhog] Janis: [not gonna kill you for it don't worry] Jimmy: [get there before the sexual frustration kills you though] Janis: [we're definitely stopping at the first place that is deemed suitable, regardless of the plan] Jimmy: [mhmm that is the whole plan, stop as soon as you can lol] Janis: [we all know there is zero chill with how fast you're gonna be on him] Jimmy: [she's on a #mission just like he was the night before] Janis: [out to prove this is the best idea ever like debatable but we know where it ends up so go off] Jimmy: [he's got no room to say shit cos fake dating was his idea and like what the fuck was that boy] Janis: [love a bad idea moment, y'all are blatant god bless] Jimmy: [case in point taking this car wasn't a good one] Janis: [100% could lose your license before you get one] Jimmy: [at least your dad won't dob you in cos doesn't want police at his door again so soon] Janis: [like you stay away from those ribs 'til they're healed sir] Jimmy: [and his face because she'd know and we ain't ready to have that convo] Janis: [they've not been arrested/ran from a crowd recently enough and he doesn't seem like the type to be out brawling even if she don't know his life so yeah] Jimmy: [behave yourself Ian thank you very much, verbal arseholery only rn] Janis: [but this moment is not at all about you so good day] Jimmy: [nothing is ever about you sir but especially this] Janis: [when this is purely about them and that's why it threw y'all, no one to hide behind here] Jimmy: [the headfuck of feeling something really intensely for someone you don't even know/are pretending you don't even like] Janis: [least we can fake that this is purely sexual even though it's already not, see how long you can last lads] Jimmy: [It's gonna be fun tbh] Janis: [if you were confused before lollol] Jimmy: [so many mixed messages all the time good lord] Janis: [we should have the flat whites invite them to something to be fake at] Jimmy: [yeah just for that really awkward shift they'll have to do from the REALEST to the fakest cos we're evil] Janis: [like it should be something they can't just sneak off from to fuck, not easily anyway lmao, use your basic brain to think of a thing it could be] Jimmy: [is there anything else we wanna do here before we send them off to the hellishness that'll be chilling at Mia's?] Janis: [we know the vibe here I think, and they can get the invite before going their separate ways even so makes it easier] Jimmy: [literally as soon as they're done like oh hi] Janis: [fun never stops, will need to take this car back and walk tho lads] Jimmy: [at least you'll have plenty of time to 🚬 cos dreading this] Janis: [to the point you were definitely like shall we even but you must, dedicated to this plan] Jimmy: [this can be point scoring with 💀#2 cos in Mia's own home as well, she'll be livid] Janis: [if Asia is being all extra with her man, can easily spend that quality time with her and the tall one] Jimmy: [oh Asia, you know her man is gonna be so OTT too and not in a goals way] Janis: [lowkey like get a room, not that you two can talk but that's in a party setting usually, not your weekly sleepover moment lol] Jimmy: [we all know they are gonna be adorable tonight cos gotta keep it #goals even if they'd rather get a room too lol] Janis: [at least you have some form of being a bit much but only so much you can get away with without being rude and you're tryna be friends now so unlucky, just 🚬 and talking over gameplans 'til you arrive] Jimmy: [when you're 😒 the whole walk but you gotta snap right into 😍💕] Janis: [when it's so confusing 'cos you do like each other but you're pretending you don't and then you have to be really OTT which is like a lil' too much, obvs, but some bits would be kinda nice like ???] Jimmy: [such a headfuck of a time, I love it] Janis: [we evil, so is Mia, hello] Jimmy: [it's just hit me that she'll have to wear his clothes for this sleepover moment because that's where they went he wasn't taking her all the way back to cali's to get shit and like I'm not fine] Janis: [right, she was wearing #2 dress, then they went back to his, so whatever she had on before the dress she would've had to put back on for community service so that'd be way too dirty by this point to wear tonight, make that a moment, bye] Jimmy: [RIP to me and Jimothy because you know she looks so good rn] Janis: [I'll see if I can find anything but it might all be a lil TOO basic but defs a thing like oversized top and boxers moment, when you out cute Asia and her mans when you walk through the door] Jimmy: [just effortlessly 🥇 you two] Janis: [we all been knew honey] Jimmy: [he should make them all personalised smoothies and get her to help him because way to score points because he's actually good at it but also they get to be alone for a hot sec because those rich bitches aren't gonna get involved like Grace and Tall Tammy would but Mia would 100% stop them by being all I need you to do such and such] Janis: [that's such a good idea, they'll be buzzing, even #2 if they made something uber clean and healthy] Jimmy: [yeah Janis' would probably the only one that'll actually taste nice because the flat whites will have gross healthy green ones or whatever but they'll be pleased put some fuckboy protein rich shit in Asia's bf's one] Janis: ['feel more normal?' 'cos so weird to be hanging with them for you both for different reasons] Jimmy: [looks down like he's in desperate need of that barista apron and does an OTT pout but we know he's surviving really] Janis: ['yeah, I'm gutted too' looking him up and down like not hot without it 😏] Jimmy: [throws something at her like a tea towel or banana peel not a plastic toy being wanged at her jaw full pelt sir] Janis: [lmao, batting whatever it is away like 'OMG, DON'T MESS AROUND HERE' 'cos her mum must do something with her days so I bet it's show-home levels] Jimmy: [Grace don't be spilling that smoothie you'll get murdered babe but you two have a little kitchen playfight when he throws something else at you cos that bitch and still in that flirty mood from earlier] Janis: [leave a mess on purpose 'cos not here to befriend you hun like whoops soz, we all know we're gonna need someone to come in and stop this going into a full thing so should be #2 for the throwback] Jimmy: [Mia sending her in cos she's a control freak and can't bear that they're in there living their best lives] Janis: [already mad at Asia on the low 'cos of her mans, the minions are not behaving rn lol] Jimmy: [she would not want him there AT ALL and you know Mia would be gutted she's not with Harry to bring him and make it awks] Janis: [like she does not want a boy seeing her in her PJs or doing a face mask or something 'cos she only hooks up so she'll be sitting there not joining in at all like 😒 probably with Grace if we're being real] Jimmy: [yeah cos Grace don't want anyone to see her doing anything ever unless she has perfect make up so] Janis: [got her on side at least] Jimmy: [meanwhile jj are just snuggled drinking their smoothies] Janis: [just imagined the kermit tea meme there for some reason] Jimmy: [Asia's bf probably downed his cos such a #lad] Janis: [#ladsladslads you know they don't drink at these things usually like why would they waste the cals but gotta 'cos he's here to seem so cool oh ladies] Jimmy: [Mia getting angrier by the second] Janis: [like how do I throw these boys out of my house without getting a rep as a total uncool bitch lmao] Jimmy: [*cough* lesbian] Janis: [we all know the invite was 1000% just for Janis and they've just ignored that lmao] Jimmy: [#tea I dread to think what cringe film they are probably watching rn] Janis: 😴💀🤢 Janis: please kill me Jimmy: [does something saucy like suck on her earlobe because okay I'll kill you but 'subtle' enough that the flatwhites can't be too mad but will still notice] Janis: [purposely takes some more blanket for them for the cliche of the flat whites thinking they're gonna be being saucy underneath but doesn't actually initiate anything 'cos was appreciative enough and it shows 😳] Jimmy: [gets even closer to her even though they were already close af for the cliche but also because he just wants to] Janis: [everyone pretend to focus on this cringe romcom quick] Jimmy: [giving her all the 😍 that are SO FAKE YEP and touching her so much not in a saucy way just in really soft ways like imma just lightly brush my fingertips over any skin that's exposed nbd] Janis: [we all know that kills you lowkey so much harder and you know he knows that so you're like 😒 but also in no way tryna stop him/leaning into him] Jimmy: [no boy that none of y'all flatwhites have been with would ever, like take a sec to just compare any of that to what Asia's bf would be doing #gross] Janis: [none of us wanna think about that, least of all Asia probs] Jimmy: [you missed your chance gal] Janis: [imagine, what a duo] Jimmy: [still would ship it harder than Ro and Drew though] Janis: [we can all be thankful we're not witnessing that rn, though he would be getting out of prison now-ish and she ain't dead yet either] Jimmy: [ew, I'm gonna just bring it back to JJ by saying he kisses her but in a really soft teasing way cos gotta kill her but again it looks chill and romantic compared to how extra Asia and her man are so points won with the rest of the squad] Janis: [when you are so mad but the 😍 are not fake either] Jimmy: [you both love this who are you kidding] Janis: [y'all do too much so now you're salty you've got to sit here and be vaguely sociable with these hoes lol] Jimmy: [casually counting down to when you can go have a smoke break without coming across as being rude] Janis: [way longer than you would like that's the tea, resting your head on his shoulder and absentmindedly pressing his sternum area, gently, checking how his healing is coming along without even thinking about it] Jimmy: [gotta play with her hair soz Grace look away] Janis: [just having emotions over there don't mind her, meanwhile, you have to show how BORED you are by laying in his lap instead, 'cos there's only so fake you can be without it being unbelievable] Jimmy: [they're all aware she's a bad bitch global] Janis: [like to think Tammy is just genuinely loving it lmao] Jimmy: [being such an attentive boyfriend by asking her if she needs anything to drink or eat or whatever quietly cos faking that you just genuinely wanna know and don't wanna disturb anyone else but we know they all 👂 and Asia is fuming on the low that her mans don't care at all] Janis: [breaking that bro-code and making him look bad, he will be so mad, oh no 😂 'causing drama with how #goals you are as standard, just snuggling into him harder in response like no, don't wanna move or have you leave thank you] Jimmy: [such a good snuggle moment ensuing, god bless] Janis: [fully imagine Mia switching this off like let's do something else 'cos she's so mad] Jimmy: [yaaaaas we must] Janis: [hmm, maybe some kind of sport moment like tennis is the cliche of course] Jimmy: [her dad would 100% have a tennis court or some bullshit lol] Janis: [such a posh girl flex, unless we're gonna commit and make her a horse girl but they will lose it lmao] Jimmy: [one of them definitely should be but maybe Asia or Tall girl because Mia would never give that much of a shit about anything lowkey like she has her eating disorder and her JJ obsession that's all folks] Janis: [that's true] Jimmy: [Mia has 10000% lost Grace if they gonna do tennis because she would not be about it, unlucky hun you can't win tonight] Janis: [I feel like it was her idea to show off to the lads 'cos she'd probably be good at it 'cos daddy's girl but like Jimothy is not interested and I doubt Asia's man is unless you're putting the whole outfit on babe] Jimmy: [I love how hard this has backfired] Janis: [she should nab Jimmy to play doubles but you don't know that JJ love competition so ha, make Janis play with Asia's boyf and hope he doesn't totally suck] Jimmy: [tbf Jimmy wouldn't have ever played before unless they do in PE some time or something cos not a posh boy so Mia would be thrilled to have him on her team while he gets the hang of that] Janis: [awkward moment when this is her gay fantasy and the lads are just there lmao] Jimmy: [at least he can make a thing of getting Janis to 'teach' him and shamelessly flirting because she'd be even more annoyed than she was before then] Janis: [when they won't do exactly what you want, oh Mia] Jimmy: [gotta order all the takeout at the insistence of Asia's bf so she actually has a breakdown] Janis: [so much food, Chinese fosho] Jimmy: [this is why Asia likes you boy] Janis: [bahahaha the 😍] Jimmy: [highkey the only reason she brought you along] Janis: [and to get fingered in front of her pals, obvs, cheers boy] Jimmy: [what a horrific visual so i'll imagine instead how much blatant shade JJ are whispering to each other to the point that Mia would defs know but she can't prove anything cos they could just be being saucy] Janis: [hohaha when you're literally gonna give her a breakdown tonight] Jimmy: [ultimate goals] Janis: [whispers 'tell me this ain't good foreplay' for the bants] Jimmy: [😏 because can't piss himself loling and then kisses her 1. so he doesn't 😂 and 2. in answer to what good foreplay it is #bants] Janis: ['think he's ready now' loudly @ Mia like teaching is over and so 😏 @ him] Jimmy: [I think it should be a draw because that'd annoy her thinking she'd win easily] Janis: [a mood, deffo, like you know Janis is sporty even if she ain't a tennis bitch, sort it out] Jimmy: [when you'd wanna play again to try and beat her but nobody is arsed like Jimothy is 100% gonna use the excuse of them being outside to pull Janis away to 🚬 and get a break from Mia] Janis: [can say they'll wait out front for their food also like further distance so they can actually chat without any chance of them being extra and nosy with it] Jimmy: [well played lads] Janis: [I also think they shoulda done really OTT grunts when they were playing 'cos amusing me so it would them, even if we inadvertently turn Mia on lmao] Jimmy: [bahaha] Janis: [#worthit] Jimmy: [gotta have whatever fun you can cos this would so crap] Janis: ['you reckon this is just her way of saying she's reconsidered on the spare room, like?'] Jimmy: [doing that lol you couldn't before] Janis: [we know when he lols it makes her 😍] Jimmy: [gotta have some back because she's so beautiful bye] Janis: [when you gotta make out hard to cover any feeling that ain't strictly sexual 'it's so good to actually do this properly without any of the bullshit for them'] Jimmy: [going as hard for the same reason but then after she's said that also going harder because you want her to feel even better than good cos 🥇 and you genuinely think she means it] Janis: [just being all kinds of hot with your 🚬s sharing smoke between making out 'promise you're gonna make this feel worth it by the end of the night?'] Jimmy: [going in even harder than you already were like I'll make it feel worth it NOW honey] Janis: ['fuck, Jimmy!' when you're already so frustrated and you've not been here that long 'we don't have to go back in, yeah' when you definitely do and you're not saying let's do one but you wanna pretend that much right now] Jimmy: [just dying because 1. you're as frustrated as her 2. you know she is and 3. she said your name so when you try and give her an answer it's just SUCH a noise but that's the best indication that you're on the same page rn that you could've given anyway so] Janis: [the biggest and realest 😍 'cos 'that was so fucking hot' and you can't not let him know in all the other ways beyond telling him] Jimmy: ['you' because she is the hottest and we all know it] Janis: ['for you' and the MOST eye contact honey] Jimmy: [just being as extra as Asia and her bf now soz not soz 🤞 that food doesn't show up for a bit lol] Janis: [soz delivery dude you're getting a show] Jimmy: [not that soz though because wouldn't even notice you atm] Janis: [literally gonna have to make a right song and dance of your approach like 'scuse me lads] Jimmy: [I just imagined the delivery man literally doing a musical number cos I'm a nerd] Janis: [lmao, also you're gonna have to go back whilst this is hot or Asia and her man will be raging] Jimmy: [can't let all your hard work being fake nice go to waste] Janis: [the saddest of times] Jimmy: [if they weren't having much fun before they'll have even less now we're forcing them to go back in] Janis: [Mia you better not start rn she'll be spitting blood from biting her tongue, like] Jimmy: [we should have her dad come back when they're all eating so Mia really wants to die] Janis: [Oh lordy, deffo, helping himself to the food too 'cos a rude dickhead] Jimmy: [oh god of course he would] Janis: [I bet he's lowkey creepy with her friends, not like he'd do anything but it's just awks] Jimmy: [just an uncomfortable vibe at all times] Janis: [everyone enjoy this, Mia try not to have a stroke] Jimmy: [at least JJ can be cheered by how much Mia is clearly hating life rn] Janis: [just being like 'your dad seems cool' 😏] Jimmy: [Asia chatting away to her dad oblivious god bless that dumb bitch] Janis: 💔 for you boys Janis: so blatantly wants a Daddy™ Jimmy: ain't even hungry now 💔😭🎻 Janis: [taking some of his food like if you're sure] Janis: now you're really devastated Jimmy: You're a dickhead Janis: Calm down, chubbs Janis: [offering her plate like swapsies] Jimmy: [fake 😍 as he takes it but obvs gotta be cute and feed her even when you're 😒] Janis: adorable Janis: ➕✔ Jimmy: try not to 🤢 like Jimmy: [Mia's dad 👀 taking her off to have a weird™ convo about boys] Janis: won't waste the food Janis: hit #2 with the fatherly advice whilst Mr Daddy is busy Jimmy: [does chat to her cos that bitch] Jimmy: ✔ Janis: Rude Jimmy: ? Janis: I want some 😏 Janis: feeling left out Janis: clearly the most in need, no other bitch here is in community service Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: [cos obvs gotta sit on his knee you're not 🎅 boyy] Janis: [does though, looking at him with big eyes like he's about to drop some real wisdom on her] Jimmy: [does whisper some stuff to her that he knows she wants to hear though] Janis: [a lil noise like 'scuse her] Jimmy: ['now that was rude' so only she can hear it and know that you're dying thanks very much] Janis: ['kinda your fault' whispered back 'cos well] Jimmy: [😏 unrepentant actually] Janis: [likewise that you ain't moving now you're here not soz everyone] Jimmy: [he loves it so you can deal ladies] Janis: [definitely not helping with the frustration but we know that's why you're doing it lads #shameless] Jimmy: [we 👀 you and so does Mia as she comes back from that fun chat] Janis: [if looks could kill] Jimmy: 👀🔪🔪 Janis: Well greedy, her Janis: had your turn already Jimmy: you better 💀💀💀 me quick, mate Jimmy: she reckons she can beat you to it Janis: 🎾 you to death Jimmy: hot Janis: that's definitely a shit horror movie Janis: give you all yankee accents and football and cheer uniforms and we're good to go Jimmy: rich girl rampage Jimmy: 🍅🍅 out of 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 Janis: not alright with that score Jimmy: 🍅 or 🍅🍅🍅? Janis: Soz, just not used to not being 🥇 Janis: so strange Jimmy: I'll 🖋 you a decent film baby Janis: 🤤😍 Janis: Babe! Jimmy: 💕 Janis: can't wait to tell everyone you're gonna make me famous, OMG Jimmy: basically have done with my 📷 Janis: been a while, bighead Jimmy: can you wait a bit longer or what? Jimmy: [such a LOOK because we all know what he means] Janis: What if I can't? Janis: [a LOOK back] Jimmy: [literally can see how hard he's trying to think of a way to sneak off even for a second like] Janis: ['you're so cute' 'cos can just say that and no one's batting an eyelid] Jimmy: [when you're like oh that's so weird because I don't feel good at all rn big song and dance to try and leave this table with her immediately] Jimmy: [💀#2 backing up your fake story inadvertently like #same cos wanna be 🤢 thanks gal] Janis: [real mvp right there, so OTT like feeling his forehead and getting a glass of water for him before making Mia direct you to a bathroom] Jimmy: [I'm loling, what a shit evening you're hosting babe] Janis: [also lol how bad y'all are at this like we didn't know] Jimmy: [JJ doing the most to salvage their night] Janis: [and just doing the most] Jimmy: [#tea] Jimmy: [make sure you lock the bathroom door this time kids, don't need Mia coming to 'check he's alright'] Janis: [learn from your mistakes, when you know you don't wanna be interrupted this time 'cos not for show] Jimmy: [I do vote you get back in the bath though for the mems and because there'd actually be room for both of you to lie down unlike the state of Ian's car earlier just put some fancy towels in there so it's not freezing on any bare skin] Janis: [so considerate] Jimmy: [I is and he is] Janis: [just don't accidentally turn it on when you're getting carried away here] Jimmy: [cos god forbid rich people turn a tap you'd probably only have to push a button or something boujee] Janis: [exactly, and as amusing as it'd be, you're already down to wearing his clothes rn and you don't wanna borrow Mia's instead tah] Jimmy: [they would not see the funny side rn, levels of frustration are too sky high] Janis: [#tea] Jimmy: [not gonna be that mean lads you've already struggled enough by having to be here doing all this flat white bollocks] Janis: [Asia's boyf is deffo gonna say something gross to Jimmy and Asia should overhear at least and they go off to have an argument for the lols and awkwardness factor for all] Jimmy: [100% here for that because how real] Janis: Shit stirrer Janis: 😏 Jimmy: he must've heard I've only got the one good 👂 Janis: 🤞 that's all he heard and his own 👂s ain't as big as his gob, like Jimmy: 😏 Janis: How many boyfriends can we make her get through Janis: the real question Jimmy: Depends Janis: on Jimmy: first off if 💀👑 properly snaps tonight 🔪🔪 Janis: I would give that a strong 90% likelihood but tennis probably took it right out of here, no way she's gonna be up for a spree now 30% at best Jimmy: don't have to hold the 🔪 herself that's what her minions are for Janis: yeah, and look at the state of 'em Janis: #2 got no strength ever, my sister is squeamish as hell and wouldn't risk her manicure for it Janis: lurch might be up to it, if she's not too busy recording herself 'dancing' Jimmy: Alright, won't put my hard earned 💰 on owt Janis: so, what's your 2nd point Jimmy: Depends how long we're stuck in the BFF zone an' all Janis: 'course Janis: could continue to fuck up her 💕life after but that's only something a real good friend would do so Jimmy: duh Janis: have to be quick Janis: don't know how much of this I can hack Jimmy: we could just go on account of me 💀💀🤢🍜 Janis: sexy Janis: we could Janis: but it'd mean more hangouts more times, if we get this done, we've made loads of progress Jimmy: 🥇💡 mate Janis: 🔥 thank you Jimmy: 💣 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: speaking of, if I smack that lad after they've spent ages rowing I'll get a 🏆 instead of losing points, yeah? Janis: who from? Jimmy: who else but my true love? Janis: that's 50/50 Jimmy: ugh, but I wanna smack that dickhead Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Poor you Janis: 💔 Janis: could be making up as we speak Jimmy: Oi, I don't wanna start actually feeling 🤢 tah Janis: he could be the love of her life Janis: gutted Jimmy: shut up Janis: 🖋 a play about it Jimmy: will do Janis: sure it'll be a masterpiece, mate Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: all the 🦎 and 🐸 lads, like a more grim wind in the willows Janis: 'course you'd write a play with no girls in Janis: proper 👻🖋 move Jimmy: unless you wanna be in it Jimmy: only got the one muse, don't I? Janis: yeah Janis: not my fault your true love ain't very inspiring, like Jimmy: is a bit your fault Janis: you want me to give her lessons on top of being her bezzie mate Janis: that's a bit much Jimmy: if you ain't up for the challenge Janis: I am Janis: she ain't Jimmy: bad worker blames their tools, girl Janis: 🙄 Janis: can only be one or the other Janis: your type or your muse Jimmy: could be the artist himself Jimmy: might just be a bit shit Janis: depends what we're rating you on Jimmy: the finished 🎨 what else? Janis: the ❤s don't lie Jimmy: but they ain't worth as much if you're getting 'em for stuff like holding the brush the right way up Janis: can't get you an audience with taste Janis: if I knew where they were, wouldn't be here, would I Jimmy: I'll live Jimmy: as muses go, you're alright Janis: Oh, tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: was gonna compliment you but if that's the level, I'll save it Jimmy: if I want one, I know how to get 'em Janis: I'm sure Janis: not from me though Janis: 😶 Jimmy: [does his best to try and get one from her, excuse him everyone] Janis: [shamlessly enjoying that] Jimmy: [you better give him one gal cos he's not gonna stop until you do #shameless] Janis: you are such a dickhead Jimmy: top at giving out compliments, you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: afraid you'll never know Jimmy: [gives her a look like challenge accepted and shamelessly back at it again at krispy kreme because we're all bored of the flat whites and no other reason oh no] Janis: [the levels of the lady doth protest too much, excuse them everyone, assumedly you're all entertaining yourselves right now/pretending not to watch] Jimmy: [tik toking like your life depends on it or something lol] Janis: ['alright, alright' out loud but not actually gonna compliment you 'cos then it wouldn't be real and we all know it] Janis: I was going to say you're better than you fake Jimmy: you can have that back an' all Jimmy: without having to force me Janis: you're only being generous 'cos I said it first Janis: don't lie Jimmy: nah Jimmy: I'm saying it 'cause it's true Janis: 'course it's true Janis: having to fake I'm even slightly like them puts it down 1000s of points Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: like you said, holding the brush the right way Jimmy: that ain't what I'm giving it to you for Janis: Yeah, my art ain't all that Jimmy: I dunno, you have your moments Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [IRL 😏 back] Janis: why do you reckon they do this Jimmy: got my 💰 and ⏲ on for human sacrifice Janis: roll on the witching hour Janis: 'cos this is dry Jimmy: What do you wanna do? Jimmy: I'll find a way to make it #goals Janis: [IRL 🤔] Jimmy: [at least we can pretend the 😍 at how cute she is are fake] Janis: being boring is catching or I've just got a one-track mind Janis: you can't be the only thing in this McMansion worth doing Jimmy: should've used that backhand to beat her at 🎾 Janis: I am livid I didn't Janis: but you know what I meant Jimmy: you're not in the 🗨 with Asia Jimmy: bored but not yet 🧠💀💀💀 Janis: you are? Jimmy: always Jimmy: but I meant even northern ain't that thick Janis: I can only imagine what she can find to talk about Jimmy: herself obvs, that's all I wanna hear about 💕 Janis: 🙄 Janis: my point exactly Janis: that's one 🗨 and out Jimmy: [lies all over her dramatically cos SO BORED] Janis: [huffs as dramatically like take the hint ladies] Janis: she still trying to get on you then or what Jimmy: ? Janis: Asia Janis: in your DMs Jimmy: she's still got a boyfriend, last I heard Janis: Obvs Janis: but if she's willing to break girlcode Jimmy: she wants to date someone #goals Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: Yeah Janis: still, gutted there's not more solid proof she's a shite friend and feminist Jimmy: could get it if you want me to though Janis: nah Janis: reckon they know it Janis: I wouldn't trust any of 'em anyway Jimmy: not 🧠💀💀💀 either, you Jimmy: Is Mia's daddy still here or what? Janis: not in my DMs Janis: you had an idea? Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: just bored enough to try and cause that breakdown Jimmy: [IRL thinking winnie] Janis: he'd clearly go for it Janis: fucking perv Jimmy: don't reckon lads are his type any more Jimmy: boarding school were a time and a place Janis: 💔 babe Janis: his distrust of teenage boys is well telling Jimmy: I know Jimmy: you got any ideas in that big head or what? Janis: plenty Jimmy: I get it, you want me to make you tell me them an' all Jimmy: Alright Janis: can't say it weren't fun Jimmy: [we out here doing the most again to not be bored, bonus that Mia is livid] Janis: [she gonna snap Janis: [maybe she should and they can be like well give us a tour then so can be nosy] Jimmy: [as a nosy bitch I love that] Janis: [she can show-off and be a general posh bitch] Jimmy: [Jimothy lowkey shooketh by her big posh house but not gonna give her the satisfaction of knowing] Janis: fuck the spare room Janis: taking the west wing, like Jimmy: not sure you'll have enough leg room Janis: Beats my current digs Jimmy: not in the middle of nowt for a start Janis: anywhere beats there, obvs Jimmy: might move myself in, see how long it takes her to notice I ain't paid staff Janis: literally stealing my ideas but fine Janis: big enough for us all Jimmy: you'd have to just hide Jimmy: can't get the rich girl off you Janis: shut up Jimmy: but then how will I make a massive echo calling you a dickhead? Janis: You'll manage Jimmy: [playful nudge to annoy both her and tour guide Mia] Janis: [gives him a dirty look and an apologetic one to Mia like ugh, sorry about him, really trying to focus here] Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: don't act shocked Janis: how you think the rich stay rich Jimmy: I were gonna offer to give you a piggy back so you don't exhaust yourself going round this massive palace but you'd never make it over the rich v poor divide to get on Janis: divide you put up and maintain Janis: just financed it, like Jimmy: gotta keep it looking nice, girl Jimmy: bit of working class pride or some such bollocks Janis: beats this middle-class minimalism Janis: besides, your injuries aren't healed enough Jimmy: 🏆💪 me Jimmy: nowt to worry about Janis: [a look like yeah right] Jimmy: [a look back like you weren't worried earlier when we were doing all that saucy behaviour] Janis: [😳 and looking away] Jimmy: [walking ahead on this tour cos only so fake he can be before it's unbelievable and peeps know he's antisocial] Janis: you'll have to be back early for your sibs, yeah Jimmy: If you need an excuse not to have a cosy little breakfast with her and daddy, we can use that Janis: well yeah Janis: can't say I need to go to the gym if she has one Jimmy: watch her try and make us wait on her for our community service hours though Janis: she's so Janis: you know you go to the same shit school we all do, right Jimmy: bet her dad's 💔💔💔 Jimmy: could also fake that mine gives a shit where I am, there's another excuse banked Janis: not totally untrue the way your phone blows up sometimes Janis: no wonder her ma is depressed Jimmy: none of 'em need to know that's all my other girlfriends Jimmy: least if her mum shows up I can get back on track with causing that 😱😱😱 Janis: 'course Janis: her ma is her double so have fun with that Jimmy: 🤤🤤 Janis: don't make me 🤢 Jimmy: you'll have to swallow, food poisoning ain't gonna work a second time Janis: good thing I don't want you looking after me Janis: won't have to make such a scene, bound to be another bathroom soon Jimmy: won't thank you in my oscar speech then Jimmy: save it for my true fans Janis: you do that arsehole Jimmy: [comes back purely to talk to Asia like okay I shall] Janis: [is fuming] Jimmy: [I dread to think what she's saying to him but we know he can fake like he doesn't regret this instantly so] Janis: [just on your phone like there's something so interesting rn 'cos if you storm off they'll all notice] Jimmy: [is her boyfriend still there or nah cos I'm loling if he is] Janis: [assumedly, yeah, so you could talk to him for the pettiness of it all but we all know that wouldn't be fun so better to be going through your DMs like you're gonna respond Jimmy: [talk to some of the others as well boy, including Grace cos you know that'll annoy the bae] Janis: [😒 just coming up like 🚬 please and charging ahead to the garden/end of this tour] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna follow you gal even if it wasn't expected of him] Janis: [🚬 in silence like go away] Jimmy: [his turn to be on his phone while 🚬] Janis: [oh lads] Jimmy: [takes a pic of her 😒 face because he's a dickhead] Janis: ['delete that' when you're so moody lol] Jimmy: [does not] Janis: ['Oi' louder like he didn't hear] Jimmy: ['what?' boy you know] Janis: ['delete that picture now'] Jimmy: ['calm down, not gonna post it' still hasn't deleted it] Janis: ['that's not the point'] Jimmy: ['what is your point, Judith?' when you're just asking her why she's so mad like you don't know] Janis: ['I don't want you having photos of me on your phone' and coming over with your hand out like gimme] Jimmy: [does give it to her because 💔 by that] Janis: [deletes it like there, not so hard 'thank you' and handing it back] Jimmy: [just taking his phone back like this is super casual] Janis: [we're all fine and casual 'cept you so aren't and you're just here seething like hope the rest of you convinced Mia she weren't allowed to come out and 👀] Jimmy: [lighting another 🚬 as soon as you're done with the first one, nhs direct will be fuming at you as well sir] Janis: [never gonna heal at this rate lol] Jimmy: [honestly] Janis: [not the time to have that argument sadly] Jimmy: [fight fight fight] Janis: [More likely than admitting why you're actually pissed off but instead just laying down on some sun lounger bullshit and closing your eyes like lalalala] Jimmy: [that would be an artsy photo but we not gonna] Janis: [💔] Jimmy: [so awkward cos you know he's not leaving] Janis: [when you just laying there waiting but you can hear he ain't like what to do] Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's using this time wisely to deal with all the texts and shit he's been ignoring from Ian throughout the day and if there are any new ones from Cass cos not ignoring her ever] Janis: [be productive boy, we know you're ignoring all your fam all the time on the other hand so, finally sitting up like 'if you ain't gonna do this properly, we may as well just go now'] Jimmy: [comes to sit on the sun lounger the furthest away from the one she's on as a nice parallel to when he sat on the other end of the bench as far but as close as he could on school trip, but not yet looking up from his phone 'what are you on about?'] Janis: ['I mean, if you're going to jeopardize the plan by doing some ungoals shit I'm meant to then have an argument with you about, I can't be bothered, this is too much ballache as is, right'] Jimmy: [repeats what he just said but looking at her this time as if that will make her answer differently] Janis: [blinks at him like, really? 'what part of that did you not get?'] Jimmy: ['might be the part where you're not pulling your weight, fuck knows why I can't get my head round that though' sighs 'It were you stropping off and it were me who had to follow you to keep shit goals'] Janis: [a noise like um, what 'aside from the fact you walked off first, so you can't even have a go at me for it, I had to 'cos you were being a dick and what else could I do in response to that, nothing'] Jimmy: ['I walked off from the tour 'cause it's bollocks but I came back and now none of 'em could say I were being a dick' shrugs like the whole point is we play fake nice with them] Janis: ['yeah none of 'em can say that alright' 🙄 like don't be dense about it] Jimmy: [comes and sits on the end of the lounger she's on just looking at her 'what did you wanna do?' in reference to not being able to do anything else about him being a dick 'go on'] Janis: [looking back 'all I want is to not look like a twat in front of them, literally that's all' shrugs] Jimmy: ['Alright, you won't' draws a ✔ on her with his fingertip really softly and then looks back up at her 'promise'] Janis: [goes to say something multiple times but just nods 'cos safer] Jimmy: [just holding her hand and playing with it in a really soft way without thinking about it] Janis: [breathing out but in a calming down way not frustration] Jimmy: [a hug because that's something they do as mates nbd] Janis: ['this is such a headfuck' what part] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna do nowt that fucks you over' because way to say you care without actually doing it] Janis: ['we're on the same page then...' shakes head and then puts it in her hands like eurgh 'forget about it then?'] Jimmy: [does the thing where he goes to pat her on the head for bants but instead just strokes her hair cos he's the softest boy] Janis: [lying your head in his lap again 'just don't fuck Asia, yeah'] Jimmy: ['wouldn't if she paid us' has never meant anything he's said more than that lol] Janis: ['I'm glad to know the secret menu ain't just yous being pimped out, like'] Jimmy: ['me an' all'] Janis: [just snuggling on the low] Jimmy: [letting it happen] Janis: ['we could sleep out here' like probably not in your current attire but you're well used to sleeping outside otherwise] Jimmy: ['if you want' because he's done it too lbr and also we know he'll do anything she wants to] Janis: ['probably have to wait 'til they're asleep' sighs] Jimmy: ['no challenge that' these boring bitches are gonna go to sleep early obvs] Janis: ['even lizard boy will wear himself out after a go, like'] Jimmy: [a lol but a grossed out sound with it] Janis: [lols back 'as far as fake boyfriends go-' running her fingers up and down his arm '-thanks for not being scaly'] Jimmy: ['least I could do when you're so...' not gonna finish that sentence thank you] Janis: [looking up from his lap like ?] Jimmy: [just looking back at her like] Janis: [wrapping her arms around his neck to pull her face up and his down to meet it so she can kiss him] Jimmy: [letting this be a full make out moment even though you've been out here ages and the flat whites are gonna be gossiping cos idc] Janis: [none of us care, Asia you got no room to talk today lol] Jimmy: [likewise Mia you've been the WORST host so you can't say shit either] Janis: [obviously you will be but still, we do not care at all] Jimmy: [and we know most of them are team JJ at this point so deal with that babe] Janis: [lmao she will never] Jimmy: [Oh Mia] Janis: [truly what is this obsession, we will never know] Jimmy: [when even Grace is like dial it back and she's the OG of having an obsession with Janis so] Janis: [is she your twin sister who you miss and don't think loves you? no, I don't think so and we know you don't like any boy so even if you wanted to bang Jimmy you wouldn't need to be this weird about it] Jimmy: [mhmm wants to bang her own dad more like] Janis: [awkwardddd] Jimmy: [not the issue of why she can't but imagine what he'd look like please] Janis: [my boo like he ain't even hot haha] Jimmy: [tea though] Janis: [we all know it] Jimmy: [we should have her mum be there being cringe when they go back in so lowkey they haven't noticed how long JJ been gone even cos ugh] Janis: [dranking, flirting with Asia's man 'cos inappropriate parents yay] Jimmy: [a richer less trashy version of Carly's mum basically but her husband's doing the cheating instead of her] Janis: [that's the vibe, watch out Jimothy] Jimmy: [he walks in and wants to walk straight back out immediately so HAS TO pull the bae closer to him soz not soz] Janis: [protect ya mans from this sad middle-aged lady, like] Jimmy: [for real, sitting as far away from them all as you can without making it obvious meanwhile just pulling her into your lap like DON'T MOVE EVER THANK YOU] Janis: [getting to be real cutesy with it, said like you weren't snuggling outside lmao] Jimmy: [any excuse to be softer than you're pretending you like rn] Janis: [thanks for the excuse lads] Jimmy: [whispering shade about her weird mum so you don't have to think about not knowing where yours even is or if she's alive or nah] Janis: [just loling on the low like babe, you're so funny, 'cos obvs you've never met the bitch either and wow, what parents she has, she's gonna wanna die, oh Mia] Jimmy: [I'd feel bad for you but you're an evil bitch so I don't and what's more important is that Jimothy is clearly lowkey sad] Jimmy: [they wouldn't notice but we know Janis always notices things so] Janis: [squeezing his hand like you good?'] Jimmy: [just snuggling into her more because nobody's batting an eyelid at that] Janis: [kissing his forehead and murmuring something comforting about him still not feeling well 'cos fake sick earlier] Jimmy: [we're leaning into this narrative because nobody wants to be here] Janis: [nobody bitch, making a point of getting really cosy like we're gonna go to sleep now like Mrs Mia can you fuck off lol, putting a blanket over them and a pillow behind her head so he can stay sleeping on her] Jimmy: [the only time Mia and Janis have agreed on anything cos she really wants her mum to fuck off also] Janis: [just stroking his hair like he always do] Jimmy: [don't cry rn boy there's no styling it out] Janis: [just wait out these awkward last moments 'fore everyone goes to sleep lads] Jimmy: [everyone just faking they are asleep like let this end] Janis: [gonna take this opportunity tho] Janis: hey Jimmy: Alright? Janis: yeah Janis: you? Jimmy: Why wouldn't I be? Jimmy: best night EVER Janis: 😏 Janis: least we worked out why they're all such bitches Janis: this is their idea of fun Jimmy: least it weren't all shit Janis: the food was pretty good, yeah Jimmy: meant to be me who's the fat fuck Jimmy: don't be coming for my 👑 tah Janis: I'll let you keep it Janis: no 🐸 Jimmy: can't fight you for it, too unfit, me Janis: shut up Janis: you're well fit, babes Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 😍 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 💖 Jimmy: [draws a heart with their initials in on whatever bit of her skin he can reach rn] Janis: [stops breathing for a hot sec] Jimmy: [keeping that hand wherever it landed so casually] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ? Janis: what do you wanna do when we get out of here ⛓ Jimmy: What do you wanna do? Janis: Something actually fun Janis: I dunno what yet, I'll be thinking Jimmy: Alright Janis: is Tammy asleep already or does she need an Oscar? Jimmy: [throws something at her that can't be traced back to him because he's so asleep and so ill bye] Janis: [he'd feel the lols she's holding in so hard rn] Jimmy: [tickles her a little bit but like too lightly to actually make her lol] Janis: [just squirming away so hardcore I hope no one else is that close to yous two] Jimmy: [pulling her back to you even closer than she was before if that's possible] Janis: [when you wanna makeout so bad but you also feel so soft so you're like no we can't but also why not ahh] Jimmy: [we know it's gonna happen lads] Janis: [try to be quiet there are so many peeps in this room with you not asleep yet] Jimmy: [there's your excuse to be softer with it cos a bit quieter well it would be if you weren't so into it] Janis: [just clenching your fists 'til your fingernails cut into your palms tryna be quiet over here when you're fully dying] Jimmy: [at least he'd obviously be dying as much imagine if one of you was really into it and the other person was like meh] Janis: [you both love it that's why there's no denying that, if there ever was tbh] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [consider not going all the way here though tah lizard boy is 1000% listening and he doesn't deserve the show] Jimmy: [I know you really wanna lads but I really don't wanna give him those mental images or sound effects] Janis: [though he should totally spread it around that you did 'cos just real] Jimmy: [he's so that dickhead] Janis: [playing into Mia's hands, someone has to this sleepover has been a total fail for you babe] Jimmy: [suddenly don't hate him as much do you hun] Janis: [new bff lol] Jimmy: [you two should totally sneak off though cos nobody can stop you if they fake sleeping] Janis: [you simply must] Jimmy: [Mia's room blatantly] Janis: [fuck on her bed and go through her things, literally the least she deserves] Jimmy: [making what would already be a 🔥 hook up even better] Janis: [least you can make some noise, her rents room is probably a million miles away 'cos posh people] Jimmy: [love that for you two] Janis: [mood and a moment, shame you can't sleep in there] Jimmy: [well they could as long as they get up before Mia does which realistic cos a bitch is on death's door] Janis: [lmao, it's just a weird fuck you flex that I'm about] Jimmy: [same though] Janis: [taking a selfie so smug] Jimmy: [yaaas] Janis: [we'll pretend it's just for blackmail purposes later and not 'cos he looks that good but there's no denying your 😍] Jimmy: [we know they love an excuse for a photoshoot and the 😍 are mutual af] Janis: [honestly just staring at him appreciating for a hot sec] Jimmy: [looking at her like ? boy you know] Janis: ['it's rude'] Jimmy: ['what?'] Janis: [points at him like 'you'] Jimmy: [shakes his head and points at her instead trying not to blush] Janis: ['you're so' not purposely copying him from earlier but here we are] Jimmy: [gotta kiss her so you don't say something that we can't take back] Janis: [relatable] Jimmy: [I'm like how else can you fuck with Mia while you've basically got free run of her gaff rn lol] Janis: [there's got to be shit, like as long as you keep it quiet, you could do anything, within reason] Jimmy: [ninja-ing through the place] Janis: [also what can you do that she won't be able to say shit about/immediately know/assume it's you two hmm] Jimmy: [gotta be sneaky but yeah idk] Janis: [I wonder, maybe there's some cringe photos of her from childhood they could find? Jimmy: [love that and OMG maybe this is too far/ not feasible if her dad is like sleeping in his study wherever but I just thought what if they found something cringe about him/ his latest affair etc] Janis: [my mind was also there like no doubt his phone has a passcode but what if his laptop or something is open with an account logged in, I wasn't sure] Jimmy: [I say fuck it why not he's probably not that smart/ not expecting the sneak attack/ drunk] Janis: [let's do it honey, yo to the lo] Jimmy: [they're only gonna use it if she deserves it like when she gets him fired or something so it's her own fault] Janis: [mhmm, we know she has it coming so save it up honey] Jimmy: [that's her sorted then is there anything else we wanna have happen/ be said between them?] Janis: [1000% signing up for the dating apps and shit to find him...CATFISH HER DAD lmao we probably just need to decide how we're having them leave in the AM and then that should be good though] Jimmy: [obvs they gotta leave early so probably assume they can sneak off but I think they should all be up working out because Mia's that control freak who makes the squad except like Asia and her bf who refuse to get up lol] Janis: [what a disturbing scene like soz we gotta go rn immediately still] Jimmy: [Jimmy like I'm not dressed for your zumba fitness and also I'm not a wine mum so bye] Janis: [just get to be vaguely passive-aggressive about doing a real workout like buhbye] Jimmy: [love that for you both, Jimmy like I've got a puppy to walk because I don't kill and eat small living creatures 🐍] Janis: [so glad to be out of there alive tbh] Jimmy: [I dread to think what kind of weird intense workout Mia would actually do, oh girl] Janis: [the others just dying like how is she not] Jimmy: [fuelled purely by the mems of what a shit night she had] Janis: [and what 🔥 hookups they had all over your gaff] Jimmy: [meanwhile Jimothy'll be getting through community service because of how good she looks in yet more of his borrowed clothes] Janis: [you need to sneak home for provisions soon babe but not this morning] Jimmy: [#never soz cali] Janis: [you can be home if you want the row or nah, we know the vibe for always] Jimmy: [Twix will never let you leave gal she'll be buzzing to see you] Janis: [like where have you been bestie lmao] Jimmy: [real loves of each other's lives] Janis: [at least community service today won't be as shit now] Jimmy: [thank god, it's hilarious that this convo started how it did] Janis: [shamelessly making up for the lost time like it's going out of style] Jimmy: [living for how highkey you two are always] Janis: [aren't we all, especially you two, random thought but do we wanna have anyone else stand out/be of note in community service?] Jimmy: [oooh that's a good idea boo] Janis: [it has potential if we wanna use it] Jimmy: [agreed, we'll have to ponder, have you got anyone she always takes pics with or anything that you're like when the fuck am I gonna use you?] Janis: [aside from the boys from the Netflix show, not really] Jimmy: [they probably don't look like they're community service lads sadly] Janis: [lmao probably not though this is prime jealousy time for you all] Jimmy: [we should totally exploit that if nothing else because Asia is no actual threat but a community service girl that she thinks is his type, like hello and we know he gets jealous if she literally interacts with anyone rn so] Janis: [why not I say] Jimmy: [all the content we can get from the headfuck this time period is, we gotta] Janis: [right, they're just jealous is the point, there literally doesn't have to be anything in it] Jimmy: [we 👀 you] Janis: [do you wanna skip to a bit of that, or something else, end this here???] Jimmy: [we should probably end this here even if we wanna do some of that because a bit rude to ruin day 2 of community service as well as day 1 lol like give them a good one first at least] Janis: [yeah it doesn't have to be immediate okay leggo]