“ i love you . ” <3
THE THING ABOUT MOTHERHOOD is that it includes mistakes, inherently. poorly - phrased apologies and lapses in judgments, quiet apologies over morning coffee and eggs.
i love you, and i'm sorry.
i love you, and it won't change.
and when the world comes crashing down, all of dark skies and stars snuffed out like candle flames, it is she, mother : soothing tender hearts, easing shaking hands.
it should've been her, holding jonathan and coaxing him to eat breakfast, steadying him with blankets and embraces — staying awake until the crack of dawn to make sure he slept.
son should not be mother, and yet : she had not been there for him the week that will disappeared.
never once does she regret the dogged, frantic search for will : holding onto bizarre clues and persisting in the face of so - called crazy. it is never love that she regrets, never fierce instinct : but rather, lack of.
❛ i should've been there for you. ❜ — olive branch extended, voice hushed, still marked with all the intensity she's known for. ❛ when will disappeared, i mean. you're my baby, too. i-- i should've been a better mom. helped you be... be a kid for longer. ❜
shaky inhale and she wraps her arms around his shoulders, hands interlocked in a tight embrace of days and weeks and months and years of apologies that fester in her chest, die in her throat.
❛ i love you, too, jonathan. more than you'll ever know. ❜
@hawkinsfreak ﹠ found family prompts
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