#i promise this wasn't supposed to be this long lmaoooo | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ceriisetheflower · 4 months

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Self Care (M)

omega!renjun

wc: 4.8k

synopsis: renjun decides to take on his first heat the best way he knows how, as luxuriously as possible.

cw: smut...a lot of it. in immense detail. sex toys, pornography, multiple orgasms, unrealistic amounts of cum, stomach bulge, male squirting/watersports (depending on what you consider squirt to be lmao), overstimulation, cum eating, dildo sucking, mentions of fictional heat related illnesses, america-centric world building, a bitch with no friends attempting friendly dialogue.

a/n: well here it is! first full fic. believe it or not this was meant to be no longer than 1k, then i realized i get kinda pissed when fics don't include enough context for elements in the fic so i'd be a hypocrite if i didn't paint a likely unnecessarily vivid picture. feedback is much appreciated!

we love u very dearly junnie B💛

❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈

The sound of the dryer finishing its freshly washed load of delicates interrupted his fifth run through of his checklist. “Ok, let’s see….lube? Check. Waterproof blankets? Check. Three hour long Alpha on Alpha porn playlist? Check.” Renjun finally sighed with relief. It’s not everyday he obsesses over the amount of lube he has in his arsenal (he restocks his eight oz bottle of sliquid sassy every eight weeks on the dot), but it’s a special occasion. The special occasion.

He rebukes the term “late-bloomer”, despite the average age for an omega’s first heat occurring around eighteen. Renjun has always justified his lack of mating cycles with his ever present practicality. “You were absolutely ridiculous for a week straight until your heat broke.” He recalls to Donghyuck during their semi-regularly scheduled facetime catch-up they’ve adopted post grad school.

“I had so much going on freshman year, it would’ve made no sense for me to have to deal with a heat. Twenty-four is a way better age anyways, my prefrontal cortex is like eighty-five percent done, I can actually handle my brain being scrambled eggs for five days”. He says passively, ignoring the unimpressed look coming from the boy on the other side of the phone.

He unfortunately remembers the horrors of hearing Donghyuck’s first heat through their paper mache dorm room walls when they were eighteen, and the next heat three months later, and the next eighteen heats he endured as Donghyuck’s roommate. He’s convinced the boy has had enough heats for the both of them, especially considering Renjun was held solely responsible for ensuring his dear friend didn’t die of hunger or dehydration through them. It's a thankless job, but someone had to do it.

“Right, so I guess twenty-four is also the age where you’re finally gonna finish growing huh? Prime time to finally reach big boy height.” Donghyuck quips back, taking a break from grading assignments to goad the blonde boy giving him a deadpan stare through the phone.

“Bitch you’re literally 5’6 1/2 what are you talking about?” Renjun retorts, “it’s no way you’re calling me short when you just complained about how you cant find shoe lifts in canada.” Donghyuck widens his eyes in shock. “Talking about shoe lifts when you just begged me to ask Doyoung if he could hem those jeans 6 inches shorter is crazy work Renjun.”

They continue their childlike bickering over their similarly petite frames for an unreasonable amount of time, before Donghyuck remembers the real reason for today’s meeting. “Ok but seriously, how are you feeling about this whole thing? I know it’s kinda a lot at once, be honest with me?” Donghyuck starts. He woke up two days ago to Renjun’s frenzied calls, knowing his friend was well aware that waking hours for him in Atlanta were still Donghyuck’s “dead to the world” hours in Vancouver, he was for certain there was an actual emergency.

Renjun had woken up with a pounding headache, abdominal cramps, and the unsettlingly wet mouth feel that comes right before vomiting. He knew what that meant, but refused to actually confront what was happening until Donghyuck got a look at him and convinced him to go to the omega urgent care. Donghyuck sat on the phone with him while he waited for the doctor, cheered as Renjun got the confirmation he was in pre-heat (much to Renjun’s dismay), and helped him pick the best painkillers to aid his cramps and headache. It was the best he could do from another country, fighting the urge to book a flight to go support his best friend in what’s easily the most important event in an omega's life. His husband only barely managed to convince him it was unnecessary and that they could just send him a nice care package in the mail on expedited shipping, Mark was always the level headed one in the relationship.

Renjun sighed before he could answer. “To keep it one-hundred percent real with you, I’m terrified. Like am I gonna be okay? What if I fuck up somehow and I end up never being able to have kids or something insane? Anything could happen?” Renjun said, ever the worrywort and full of trepidation about new experiences. Donghyuck scoffed, rolling his eyes at the catastrophization of the world’s most natural activity. “Friend, how could you possibly fuck up jerking off? You’ve had a solid twelve years of experience for this, relax!” Renjun shut his eyes and huffed in annoyance, “Obviously that’s not what I’m worried about idiot. I’m worried that I won’t be able to actually satisfy myself through the whole thing, and you know what happens if I can’t be fully satisfied.” Donghyuck sighs in acknowledgement.

Continuous Heating Syndrome, colloquially known as a heat frenzy, is a rare but unfortunate side effect of a heat that goes unsatiated. Nonstop migraines, vomiting, loss of motor function, seizures, or shit...even worse. Donghyuck has heard horror stories of omegas having perfectly normal heats that turn into three week stints at the hospital after they couldn’t break. Scary shit. Rare for all omegas, but increasingly likely for an unmated omega without consistent access to a knot, a category which Renjun unfortunately falls into. “Look at it this way” Donghyuck starts, “It’s not like you have no options at all. You don’t necessarily have to do this alone.” Renjun grimaces. He knows exactly where Donghyuck is going with this, and he’s not even remotely here for it.

“I’m not calling the heat hotline.” Renjun was scared, not desperate. He had no reason to hire a random Alpha who needed extra money to come fuck him for five days straight, he could figure something else out for sure. “Oh girl please!” Donghyuck exclaims, “That’s literally exactly what you need right now! They’re super strict about testing so you won’t have to worry about that, plus it’s covered by your insurance? What is the issue?” Renjun rolls his eyes, ‘The issue is that you think i’m supposed to just randomly fuck the first alpha who doesn’t look like he snuck on the planet just to stop myself from going into a coma, I have options bitch!”

Donghyuck scoffs, “Sure you do. Is now the time when Jen and Jae finally jump through the screen of their newest edging scene to keep you company through your heat? Porn only takes you so far, friend.” Renjun hates that Donghyuck knows him well enough to know he’s been anxiously scouring his favorite alpha pornstars’ onlyfans to find some semblance of relief through his rapidly approaching week of agony. “I have toys! So many toys! I don’t need an alpha at all, I have like six different vibrating cocks to choose from” Renjun grumbled. He was a fully self sufficient twenty-four year old omega who doesn’t need an alpha! Or so he continues to force himself to believe.

“If you’re gonna be stubborn about it, the least you can do is be safe.” Donghyuck says, his worried expression softening the defensive stance Renjun has adopted. “You do have someone nearby right? Just in case you need someone to check in on you in person?” “Of course, Yangyang and Chenle are in the building down the street, if I need a restock on anything or if I start overheating and dying I can call them.” Renjun replies, in an attempt to calm his friend from his concerns. “You’re not gonna die girl. Especially since I found the perfect thing to help you out!” Donghyuck beams, giving Renjun his signature “I’ve done something I know you won’t like but I’m smart enough to know it’s what you need" look.

“Is it a dick? Don’t buy me a dick Hyuck I swear to god.” Renjun says, “Is that what you’ve been doing this whole time? Dick shopping instead of feeling sorry for me? I can't believe this.” “If it makes you feel better it’s not a dick, you have so many other ones another would be excessive, even for me. You’re gonna love it though! All those fears of heat frenzy are gonna go right out the window!” Renjun eyes the brunette through the screen suspiciously, Donghyuck’s odd enthusiasm has been the catalyst to multiple cautionary tales Renjun is saving for his grandkids. Now might be the worst time to let his guard down. “I swear to god, if it’s something weird i’m sending it back and getting a restraining order.” Donghyuck giggles in nefarious delight, “It’ll be at your doorstep in two days!” Renjun groans in horror.

Renjun is shaken from his daydream riddled with Donghyuck’s alarming cackles by the sound of the doorbell being rang for the fourth time. “Oh! Coming, coming, so sorry!” He yells out, rushing to the front door to see his instacart delivery driver struggling to hold Renjun’s last minute groceries. The poor guy takes a deep breath and tries not to look nearly as phased as he is by Renjun’s sweet bergamot scent. “I-I wasn’t able to find the caramel pecan cookies, so I got you an extra box of kitchen sink cookies, I hope that’s ok?” The man stutters, clearly fighting the urge to comment on what smells like the sweetest omega he’d ever met. “Oh no worries! Thank you so much, they always go out of stock pretty quick.” Renjun replies, now increasingly aware of the alpha’s growing nervousness and intensified teakwood scent.

He hurries to grab the groceries from the boy and set them on his kitchen counter. “Here you go!” Renjun says, handing over his nice ten percent tip for the guy’s troubles. “T-T-Thank you!” he replies, after making a horribly obvious attempt at trying to inhale as much of Renjun’s residual scent on the ten dollar bill. Renjun awkwardly waves him goodbye, and closes the door of his apartment asking whichever deity that watches over him why he couldn’t have already been mated to avoid having to endure that. The plights of a single omega, he thinks to himself, now rapidly moving towards his kitchen to take final inventory.

His heat is scheduled to begin sometime tonight, made clear by his overwhelming scent and his unbearable body temperature. He’s already considered turning his air conditioner up higher, but realizing that his poor plants would hate to live in a house that’s fifty-five degrees for a week straight, he suffers in a scantily clad haze. He’s stocked up with seven cases of water, four boxes of cookies, six frozen pizzas, and three family sized bags of chicken nuggets. His poor air-fryer will be working overtime this week, Renjun is fully prepared to only have twenty minutes of energy between heat spikes to keep himself semi-sufficiently nourished. He grabs an armful of waters and sports drinks he’d picked up earlier that week to carry them to his room. He placed them next to the other small snacks he’d put in his mini fridge conveniently sitting next to his nest, there was no way he’d be able to make it to the kitchen after the first few rounds and immediate hydration was a non-negotiable.

Renjun took a moment to be proud of himself. He was a single omega preparing for the most intense and important event of his life. All those incredibly awkward sex-ed lessons he endured in middle school, and the trauma-inducing nights spent handing Donghyuck and Mark bottles of gatorade and fruit snacks while trying to avoid seeing any genitals had finally led up to this moment. Renjun was fully prepared. Renjun was gonna be okay.

His doorbell rings again. This time unexpectedly. He opens the door to find another delivery man, this time an omega, Renjun can tell by the soft lavender scent. “Order for Renjun Huang?’ The man asks. Renjun grimaces at the horrifically American butchering of his name, giving a pleasant but unsure smile. “Yes! That’s me” Renjun replies, taking a look at the ominously large box the man is holding. "Great, sign here please” He grumbles, trying to make quick work of what Renjun can only presume is his last delivery of the day. Renjun makes quick work of scribbling his signature on the dotted line, before mumbling a quick thank you and grabbing the box. It’s oddly heavy, which wouldn’t be too concerning, until he took a closer look at the label and read ‘From: Mark and Donghyuck ♡,” in Donghyuck’s messy half cursive half print handwriting.

“Oh dear god” Renjun thinks, now the weight of the box is a genuine cause for concern. He heaves the box to his counter and takes a deep breath before cutting it open. Much to his surprise, it’s all normal nice things. He pulls out a box of the maple cookies Renjun became obsessed with when Mark brought them back a box after returning to campus from his thanksgiving break in Vancouver, the ones Renjun was pissed to find out aren’t available in Atlanta. He sees a stuffed bear and stuffed cheetah wrapped in plastic, Renjun pulls them out to admire the resemblance to his dear friends before he realizes they were both scented like Hyuck and Mark. Renjun could just cry. He felt so loved and cherished by his best friend, how loving and thoughtful Donghyuck always was despite being a smug piece of shit ninety percent of the time. He’s been wanting nothing more than to experience one of their “cuddle puddles”, that while Renjun would always protest, he secretly loved. He pulls out a lovely soft yellow blanket with pretty little ruffles on the ends, perfect to go in his nest for added comfort. Wrapped in the blanket is a little note:

“You’re gonna have a great time Junnie! Don’t overthink things, just relax and enjoy the ride! We love you so very much! - Hyuckie and Markie”

Renjun is tearing up, his friends love him so much, he’s gonna be okay! Then he sees another box at the bottom, hidden by the blanket and other gifts before it. He shimmies the black box out of the larger brown one and places it on the counter, now able to get a full look at what the picture on the box is displaying. The tears instantly dry. The feelings of love and admiration are replaced with immediate annoyance.

In a scary showcase of friendship telepathy, his phone rings, lighting up with the picture Donghyuck took of his flared nostrils freshman year. Renjun sighs, then answers the phone. “Why would you buy me a fuck machine?” Renjun stares into the phone, hoping to look as menacing as he can in a hello kitty headband holding his blonde strands from his face. “I see you got our present.” Donghyuck replies, shit eating grin so intense his lips were threatening to split apart. “I told you I had just the thing in mind for your heat girlie!” Renjun huffs with the full intent to call Donghyuck everything but a child of god, but he’s getting hotter and the throbbing between his legs is getting more intense. Tonight he chooses peace. “In seven days you’ll begin to cough” he says, and hangs up the phone to let out a loud exasperated grunt.

Now the real preparation begins. Renjun walks over to his dryer and pulls out his satin robe he’d freshly washed for the occasion. He makes his way over to his bathroom to begin the most intense shower he’s had since his last failed date with an alpha he met on Wolfr. “Nice dick, horrendous vibes.” Renjun shudders at the memory. “Maybe that’s just how guys from Connecticut are? Connecticut is barely a real place, who cares.” He pauses his internal monologue for a moment to place a vanilla scented shower steamer in the corner of the tub. He lights himself a few overpriced indie candles he got from a small business bazaar in the city, and starts easing himself out of his tiny shorts.

He takes his time pulling the silky fabric of his briefs, gently coaxing his dick out of the fabric. He shudders at the cold air hitting his half-hard cock, sending shivers up his spine and another light stream of slick out of his tip. “Fuck,” He moans softly, entirely too aroused for his own good. He pulls his shirt over his head, shuddering again when the air hits his puffy swollen nipples. He takes the time to get a full look at himself in the full size mirror. “Fuck I’m hot. No wonder that Alpha almost popped his knot earlier,” Renjun smiles to himself confidently.

He makes his way into the shower, taking a deep breath of the warm vanilla scent circling him, meshing wonderfly with his own light citrusy aroma. The hot water of the shower electrifies Renjun’s body, he takes a moment to soak in the amazing feeling of the heat comforting his aching limbs. He starts with his favorite lemon and honey scented body wash to begin carefully massaging his arms and chest with the warm and fruity bubbles.

The sensation of the lather was already driving him crazy, absolutely loving the way his hands gilded seamlessly over his hips and ass. Renjun wasn’t normally the type to be so turned on by his own body, he guesses it’s just the excess hormones making any sight of bare skin immensely arousing. He snaps out of his hormone induced stupor to remember that he has a whole shower routine to get through, so he gives his soft chest a final squeeze, then moves back under the welcoming stream of the water to rinse himself clean. He grabs his body scrub and locks in for the remainder of his shower.

Renjun emerges in a cloud of sugary citrus air, intoxicating even to himself. He wraps himself in his gold satin robe, and makes his way to his vanity for his finishing touches. Renjun digs through his copious amounts of products to find the expensive body oil he’s been saving for this very occasion. He strips off his robe, and starts massaging the oil into his skin, starting at his legs. Every dip his fingers make into his skin brings him closer to ecstasy. Closer to what he knows is gonna be the most intense feeling of his life. He’s just barely finished rubbing himself down when he starts leaking a new stream of slick from his puckered asshole.

“Oh shit, that must mean it’s about to be time huh?” He figures, moving to wrap his robe around him yet again to avoid his neighbors getting a free show through his open blinds. He draws the curtains, dims the lights, and connects his television to his laptop for an optimized viewing experience. He already has his nightly entertainment pulled up, three hours of Jen and Jae’s best material. Nothing that riles Renjun up more than seeing an alpha take a eleven inch dick like he was made for it.

He settles into the spot he carefully carved into his nest, when he lays his eyes on the pretty yellow blanket Donghyuck sent him in his care package. Then he thinks about what else was present in the care package. He pauses for a second, thinking about how he actually hadn’t even taken the fuck machine out of the box. “Well obviously I didn’t take it out the box, I’m not giving Hyuck the satisfaction of knowing I used a toy he gave me,” Renjun thinks to himself. Then again, it’s not as if Hyuck has to know Renjun used it. Then again, it’s not as if using it could be a bad idea, Renjun considers.

He drags himself out of bed to collect the box from the kitchen counter, setting it down on his bed as he begins to actually open the machine. He definitely recognizes the machine, it’s pretty famous among omega content creators due to its lightweight build and convenient suction cup base to accommodate any dildo the user pleases. He looks over at the extended assortment of toys he’s curated for tonight’s events: a vibrating fleshlight for his cock and three different dildos in ascending length and thickness for his differing stages of need. Renjun felt his hole flutter with excitement as another gush of slick slid down his thighs.

He thinks about it for a moment, considering how much nicer it'd be if he didn’t have to be responsible for thrusting his toys in and out of his slicked hole. He decides to use the suction cup base of the fuck machine to attach it to the headboard of his bed, checking the height of his placement to ensure it would be the perfect height for him to comfortably get backshots from the toy. If he’s desperate enough for it he, reasons, first choosing to hold off from letting Donghyuck be right about something for as long as possible. With the machine firmly secured, Renjun settles back into his comfy spot in the nest. He takes off his robe, presses play on his laptop, and reaches for his fresh bottle of lube to start massaging his warm cock.

He’s 10 minutes into watching Jae eat Jen’s ass when Renjun finally has his first orgasm. His little heaves and moans fill the room as he milks himself of his well deserved release. “Ooh…ahh…ahh...fuck!” He shouts, pulling himself further into overstimulation as his vision starts to haze over. He’s laying in a puddle of hot slick, constantly pumping out more and more as he keeps toying with his cock. He’s using his other hand to pump his fingers furiously in his asshole, loving the searing sensation of his hole stretching over his digits. “Mmm fuck...fuck, ooh make him cum Jae” he moans, picturing himself as the pornstars’ third wheel in their bedroom.

He realizes his hands aren’t gonna cut it though, he releases his cock from his vice grip and winces as he pulls his fingers from his ass to grab his fleshlight and the smallest dildo from the pile. “Oh shit,” he hisses, feeling that same intoxicating stretch to the next degree as he tries to slip the seven inch toy deep inside. He needs another large squirt of lube to get the job done, a sign he hasn’t completely gone into heat quite yet, letting his semi-delirious brain know he still has some semblance of self-control.

He pours another squirt of lube directly into the fleshlight, giving it a few pumps with his fingers, and then using those same fingers to pump his cock, before squeezing his drained but solid dick into the tight slippery hole. He’s fully entranced in the sensations of his body now, leaking so much slick his toy keeps slipping out of his hole. The throbbing between his legs is reaching an ungodly peak, rushing his second orgasm into him like a train. “Ahhhh FUCK,” he screams, feeling the pulse of his prostate send him into overdrive. His cum and slick is pooling at the base of his dick, overflowing the fleshlight and adding to the lewd sounds deafening his ears.

He makes a move to turn up the vibrations on the toy, barely getting a chance to move his hand from the button before the pulse of his third release shakes him to the core. Renjun is completely lost at this point, barely aware of anything around him other than his seemingly never ending fountain of cum and the hypnotic sights and sounds of his favorite muscle bottom getting dicked within an inch of his life. God he wishes that was him taking alpha meat. Then he remembers it totally can be him. He grabs the biggest dick he owns, neglecting any more prep that the fifteen minutes of intense pounding hasn’t provided, and sticks the heavy dildo to the waiting base of the fuck machine.

He positions himself comfortably in front of the plastic cock, taking a moment to admire his mess on his satin sheets. “S-Shit…ohhh fuck,” he hisses as he shoves the toy into his ass. He barely gives himself a moment to adjust before he reaches for the remote to start the lowest thrusting pattern, desperate for the feeling of his hole getting stretched to its limits. Renjun lets out a low groan while the toy picks up speed. He clicks it up to the second level and jolts as the tip of the cock starts hitting his prostate. “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh,” he groans, spilling more slick onto his sheets and sliding into his fourth orgasm, leaving his mind completely broken. He sets his fleshlight to its highest vibration and suction level, and shakes himself into another release.

If he had any ability to think critically he would be concerned for the amount of fluid leaking into his mattress, considering he’d completely forgotten to lay down the waterproof blankets he was so intent would save him a massive cleaning bill, especially since the cock in his ass causes another surge of slick to shoot from his hole. Nearing delirium, Renjun decides the dual stimulation still isn’t enough. He wants even more, he needs even more.

The smell of his slick and cum is intoxicating, leaving his brain just as fried as the underpaid alpha that nearly sprung a leak at his door earlier. He grabs the smaller dildo that he used to work his ass open at the start of his playtime, and gave it a slow lick from the balls to the tip. Tasting himself on the toy made his next orgasm even harder, sucking the head of the dildo like it was an actual alpha. Throating the cock to it’s hilt like Jae himself was fucking his throat. Renjun was officially in heat, too spent to think, and too horny to care.

With the last bit of his reflexes he has left, he manages to switch the fuck machine to it’s highest setting, and prepares himself for the ride of his life. “Ohhhhh Shit! Oh Shit! Fuckkkkkk,” he stutters, forming the last coherent phrases he’ll be saying for a while. His head is absolutely pounding, reality is bending, and all he knows is fact are the loud moans he and Jen are churning out along with the surge of energy rushing through his ass and cock. “Ahh oh my god, oh my god,” he screams, ushering himself into otherworldly realms of pleasure.

His cock is being milked to extremes he didn’t know were possible, the pumping motions of the fleshlight sending streams of cum all over his balls and thighs from where the toy could no longer hold his load. He groans as the cock in his ass pounds into his prostate, sending him further into the orgasmic spiral he has no intention of leaving. He’s coming down from his tenth orgasm when he finally decided to give his dick a break, pulling the toy milking him for the last two hours off his cock and throwing it to the side, in the interest of laying face down ass up, fully submitting to the plastic cock he’s worshiping with every fiber of his being.

He can barely make any sounds other than small gurgles when he starts craving his own musk again, grabbing the fleshlight and sticking his tongue as deep as he can into the sopping wet hole, basking in the scent of his pleasure. He slurps up his essence as he feels his ass getting tighter, the dildo seemingly rutting rougher and rougher to break through his grip. He slides himself back even further on the toy, taking all eleven inches impossibly deep, crying out at the feeling of his stomach bulging from the cock mixing up his guts. Renjun is lost in the vortex of his heat, unable to do anything but scream in pleasure in between licking his fleshlight like it’s a real asshole, when he feels it.

His eyes go wide, his ass locks up around the plastic knot completely, the overwhelming pleasure forcing his body to mate with the cock rearranging him. The toy stops moving in and out, too suffocated by Renjuns slick walls to complete a full cycle of motion, instead sending deep thuds of pressure directly on his prostate. His eyes start rolling back as his body starts convulsing, unable to control his movements. His loud moans turn to deafening screams when a long stream of clear liquid shoots from his cock. He cries out in pleasure as he lets out endless gushes of liquid, soaking through whatever parts of his mattress weren’t already sticky with slick. His voice starts to taper off into quieter whines, soon after, Renjun’s vision goes black.

Renjun wakes up thirty minutes later, slightly less attached to the toy. Its batteries must’ve died sometime between him squirting and passing out, but Renjun has little recollection of anything that occurred once his first heat spike hit. He hears the faint sound of his pornstars giving each other aftercare from what must’ve been a similarly intense scene in the background, figuring he should follow in Jen’s footsteps and have a bottle of water.

He rolls over in his nest, taking in the absolutely ruined state of his bed, along with the extremely satisfied feeling in his body. “Woah,” he thinks, “I gotta get Hyuck a Waffle House gift card or something.”

#renjun smut #huang renjun smut #whew chile #nct smut #nct dream smut #i promise this wasn't supposed to be this long lmaoooo #junnie b<333 #ieezysfics #omegaverse smut #nct a/b/o

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thatonefatgumsimp · 11 months

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Which Secret Life POVs I've Watched So Far (will be updated and edited as I finish)

OK so I may or may not have gotten distracted again- oops- but basically I'm putting here which POVs I've already watched in full and what my first thought about each one was.

-WARNING: wall of texts and ramblings from an mcyt obsessed audhd under the cut...and also spoilers. Don't click unless you're ready for simultaneously spoilers and an ungodly amount of text lol-

Grian: "God this series is so hype I can't wait to see what all happens and- OMG GEM IS HERE! :D GEM IS GREAT! I can't wait to see her kick Etho's ass at PvP again /lh ...waiminute...is that logo on the statue...is that the Watcher logo??? Huh??? Wait...and why does it have the same mossiness of the Entity and Grian's s9 base? Suspicious...OMG the chaotic Best Friend energy with Mumbo and Grian- tbh would be me and my best friend on any given day. Amazing. Their laughter is so infectious too lmao- Oough merch! Pretty :3 Wait it's over already? Aweeeeh ): can't wait for the next episode tho!"

Mumbo: "Wait he switched sides of the circle when Martyn punched Jimmy lmaoooo just like 'these people are crazy, save me, Grian-' 💀 The best friend energy omg still amazing I love their dynamic so much! Ooh a sideways house that *IS* an interesting idea! WHY DOES JIMMY KEEP BREAKING THE CRAFTING TABLES LMAO Hmmmmm Impulse ik cherry blossom is great, but that salesman voice is indeed very sus. I'm with Mumbo on this one."

Skizz: "Idk I watched it when I was very tired last night and all I remember is 'Awwweh a frog! Take care of him...WH- TANGO!!!' and also him apologizing to Gem which was very nice. Oh yeah and love island <3"

Jimmy: "Alright, Timmy, you've got this. Just don't die and- OMG MARTYN NOOOO LMAOO- Aweeeh it's like when you have a really young sibling or you're, like, a parent or something and you kiss the child's scraped knee to make it feel better- 🥺 wholesome. THANK YOU! I thought I was alone in recognizing that symbol, thank you for acknowledging it. JIMMY LOOK OUT OMG YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK! OK but the task. This man is an absolute menace lol. Aweh that's very nice of Scar to compliment Jimmy's outfit! SCOTT LMFAOOOO YOU'RE SO RIGHT, BUT AT THE SAME TIME 💀 Jimmy building in the Mesa? Tumble Town 2 electric boogaloo?? 'Hmmmm if Scar's building a shack, we're gonna have to have a shack-off, mine's better.' NO JIMMY DON'T STEAL THE CAMEL! D: pftttt Scar would- remember the Relation-ship? And the Ranch? Arson boy lol. THE VALLEY GIRL ACCENT I CAN'T- 😭"

Scar: "OK, Scar, you can do the task, I believe in you. I've seen 4 other POVs which prove that you failed, but I still believe in you. OMG THAT'S WHY HE COMPLIMENTED JIMMY'S OUTFIT LMAOOO I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION- So true, Scott. So true. But you can't stop them, they're still gonna end up neighbors. I know, I already watched Jimmy's POV. SCAR NOOOO YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM- The way he jumped in the water- 💀 hc that c!Scar shook out his long-ish messy brown hair like a dog after that. Cuz he would. 'I'll make an exception for you. The first and ONLY exception.' if someone doesn't use this as, like, a fanfic title or something I swear- literally perfect material for a c!Scarian fic title. AWEEEEEEH HE CALLED GRIAN THE LIGHT OF HIS LIFE- I CAN'T BHATGLFYSJBJSRSKBLBK 🥺 Scar just like 'y'all crazy. Bye.' AWEEEEH GRIAN AND SCAR'S CAMEL RIDE! DESERTDUODESERTDUODESERTDUODESERTDUO! The way they stare at the hole Big B dug like *insert surprised Pikachu here* awwwwweh the way he let Grian have the cactus monopoly 🥺 you will never not convince me that bullying is their love language. c!desertduo bullies each other affectionately...I'm so normal about c!desertduo I promise- HE TALKED ABOUT ASOKA FOR 30 MINUTES OFC HE DID- 💀😭 I was wondering why he didn't include it lmao- NOT SCAR TREATING THE CAMEL LIKE A DISNEY RIDE LOL learning about the task goodies with Tango, Jimmy, and Scar 101 'IS IT A ROCKET' LMAOOOOO- HE'S SUFFOCATING AGAIN- SCAR BE CAREFULLLLL!!! Ik it's not in the comments, but, I GOT TO THIS POINT AND I'M ENJOYING IT, SCAR! Love this series sm and I'm only 5 POVs in lol. 'It's looking kinda like a shack' 'fancy house and exotic materials' indeed, Etho. Also yes, Scar, part of what gave it away is that ur favorite color is orange lol /lh the fact that Jimmy is the only one I've seen to call him 'Obi' when he says 'Hello There'- amazing. 'Nonono it's not a shack, look at that entrance!' But, Scar, you just said- ...OK- 'this is my shack' OK, Scar I'm confused. Is it or isn't it a shack? Ofc he cut out the arson threats and allegations smh /lh 'until next time, we'll see you later, and don't forget to subscribe because you may just become. SCARRRRED FOR LIFE!' ...yes I've memorized his outro-"

Martyn: "Wait OK before we start- are we sure that punching Jimmy didn't just, like, transfer the canary's curse? /lh like it could also be that he won last series and now he's the 'wet cat' of the first episode like I saw in another post, but like, what if?? I guess we'll see, huh? The awkward 'goodbye' and then walking the same way lmaooo 💀 Lizzie and Gem: 'WE HAVE TO GET TO THE CHERRY BLOSSOMS!' Martyn: 'uhhhhh anyways so-' what am I gonna get? Well uhhh probably one of the life hoodies, but I'll probably have to convince my mom to get it as a Christmas gift cuz I already spent a lot in the last month cuz I have no self control- but yeah probably the balloon hearts hoodie or the drippy hearts one. Love those. 'Ofc no wearing helmets' Scar, who has a helmet: 'Hi, Martyn!' 'oh mY GOd you scared me-' Payback for the jumpscare to Grian last series /lh /hj 'friends?' 'friends?' 'friends?' 'Helloooooo!' 'Martyn!' Idk why but that interaction made me exhale like- just imagine shouting through the walls in a cave to your friends irl. Omg now I'm imagining it with the reverb- 'you couldn't spare a heart, could you?' gives off the vibes of 'please sir, could I have some more?' Oliver Twist who? /lhj Bdubs and his chainmail lol 'THERE'S A SPAWNER?!' yeah...he's definitely having a rough first session- o7 'what is happening out there-?' I'd like to know too, Martyn, unfortunately I haven't watched their POVs yet. Also Etho saying 'BDUBS RUN! HIDE!' I- I'm normal about c!Ethubs I promise- 'YOU GOT HORSE ARMOR?!' ofc the local horsegirl /lhhj would ask about that lol- NOT ETHO TURNING INTO CANADIAN DAVID ATTENBOROUGH AND NARRATING HIS, MARTYN'S, AND BDUBS' ADVENTURES THROUGH THE CAVE- I- 💀 'this could go viral' true, Bdubs lol. BDUBS' MIC CUTTING OUT I'M CRYING- Gem's reaction of 'a what?!' and Scott's response of 'we just don't have a healer' is just perfect lol. Love that. WE'RE PLAYING THE MARTYN GETS NERFED MOD! TODAY WE CODED IT SO ALL THE MOBS ATTACK MARTYN AND ONLY MARTYN! that's the vibes Scott's comment gave me lol- 12 HEARTS?!? MARTYN!! OMG BE MORE CAREFUL!!! This Martyn nerf hitting hard- 'this could be really bad if I get poisoned-' YES IT COULD, MARTYN, YOU'RE ALREADY AT 12 HEARTS- IT'S LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO BE THE FIRST TO YELLOW- /lh bro Martyn being risky is making my anxiety go 📈📈📈📈📈 BE MORE CAREFUL, MARTYN, PLS- I BEG OF U- MARTYN GOING TO THE NETHER- 📈📈📈 MARTYN THERE ARE GHASTS- PLEASE- I- AAAAAAAAAAAAA! MARTYNNNN! OMG! IS HE ALWAYS THIS RISKY, USUAL MARTYN VIEWERS?! CUZ IF SO IDT I'M GONNA SURVIVE BINGING ALL THE LIFE SERIES- 'ughhh I swear, dude, I swear, I'm gonna cry!!!' I AM TOO, PLEASE STOP GETTING INTO DANGER, MARTYN- Martyn saying damnit is me the whole time he's out risking his hearts. My heart can't take this kind of pressure, Martyn please stop being so riskyyyy- 😭 nINE HEARTS- MARTYN!!!! Istg I'm not surviving this episode- my heart is just- 📈📈📈📈📈📈📈 his pICKAXE BROKE?! OH YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! 'OH MY GOD, THE SUN!' I'M HAPPY TOO, HOPEFULLY HE DOESN'T LOSE TOO MANY MORE HEARTS. 'I've been to the nether and everything!' Yeah, imma be honest, I don't get that one. Like, didn't you write a song lITERALLY CALLED 'Screw The Nether' with friends????! /lh Lizzie's 'oh wow' 💀 fIVE AND A HALF HEARTS!! MARTYNNNN!!! OMG! 📈📈📈 NOT THE DROWNED- 😭 LEAVE HIM ALONE, BRUH, HE JUST TRYNA SURVIVE- Martyn panicking- same, bestie- Lizzie just like 'oh you stole my bed? Didn't notice' 💀 #1 way to tempt a horsegirl: offer something to protect his horse /lhj Cleo's laugh lol- infectious. MARTYN ZOOMING IN AND JIMMY JUST BRINGING BACK SCAR'S CAMEL IN THE BACKGROUND I CAN'T-"

OK I'm posting this and I'll rb for the other POVs, but Cleo's next.

So let's see, next rb is probably gonna be Cleo, Gem, Tango, Scott, Bdubs, and Pearl.

Third rb is probably gonna be Etho, Joel, Lizzie, Impulse, and BigB.

3 maybe 4 rb max.

#YOOOO THANK GOD IT SAVED MOST OF THIS IN DRAFTS I CLICKED AWAY AND FORGOT TO SAVE I WAS ABOUT TO CRY-#tofs musings #my thoughts on the first session of Secret Life #secret life #secret life spoilers #trafficblr #traffic life smp #grian #mumbo jumbo #skizzleman #solidaritygaming #goodtimeswithscar #inthelittlewood #also the reason that some of them are way longer is cuz I'm writing them as I watch and not after the fact

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momowoah · 3 years

Text

Was too lazy to make three posts so here are my thoughts on the last trio of GG eps

Spoilers under the cut

Episode 10

Julien's smile when she looked at Zoya <3

Audrey being worried bc Max skipped classes and wanting him to be around + Julien supporting throuple is the best

Also Max not wanting to talk with or be around them...

Kate is hilarious sometimes

Nice change to see Audrey and Monet in the same place and not fighting lately

Aki's TikTok lmaoooo

That's so embarrassing, poor him

Max's smile after teasing Aki

Also Audrey and Zoya being completely friendly?

I will absolutely love to watch Monet and Julien fighting for the crown next season but rn I'm loving watching all of them be friends

Zoya really is becoming Luna's scheming prentice

Wasn't Julien crying every 3 seconds last week? Why is she so cheerful now?

Them pretending they're not in love

"You promised you wouldn't come" stop breaking my heart

Why is he screaming

Her hair is pretty now

Jor-Jor lmao

Luna in denial and Monet trying to hold it together

ELEANOR AND CYRUS!!!

Wait, so Blair and Chuck got Cyrus's mother's house before they moved to Paris or did they just decide to hold Derena's wedding there?

Vanya in the background too

DOROTA!!!!!! The truly best character of gg

Calloway is mentioned and suddenly Audrey doesn't know anything about them

Thought the lines Monet couldn't cross would be, idk, but it's literally inviting Ju-lions lol

These two shouldn't be teachers. Actually no teachers in this show should be teachers but whatever.

Luna really is in full denial

Why is Julien talking like she's also twelve

At times like this, I do not like Julien at all

"You weren't even supposed to be here" "Why do you keep saying that?" Aaaaaaaa

"I told you not to call me" I KNOW I SAID I WANTED ANGST BUT STOP

Aki sitting in the chair and looking up at the officer before smiling lmao

Bad timing but I love Jobie

The Max Aki scene was so casual but so good

More Blair mentions

I don't even know who was right in Julien and Zoya's fight, but Julien is annoying me more these past days so I'm going with Zoya

Roy saying he came for his son when he came for Gideon... No

Also I wish Aki wouldn't have let Max hear that

Why can't Max be happy

I like that Kate cares about Julien

The cellphone was a perfect catch... Did they combine a video of Kate throwing it with one of Scott holding it?

Finally Aki getting posts about him! Not truly GG until everyone gets a post

Still don't get why Zoya risked her scholarship

Yeah, Audrey and Zoya are right

Audrey and Aki, I love you, but leave Max alone until you realize how the three of you actually feel

Yeah, Lola is kinda meh

Call them out yes

The three were almost crying though

WHY DELETE HONESTLY

Ep 11~~~

Aaaaaaa Aki and Audrey just stop and apologize

Is Gideon like 2 meters tall or is he always wearing heels? I swear he looks way too much taller than everyone else

"and whichever sister you're dating now"

"They're just not, uh..." THEY'RE JUST NOT MAX

I loved her straight long hair btw

Ouch Julien, that must've hurt

Max talking about Heidi while Obie tries to pretend he's not listening

Did they ever interact before? I like this

Okay I like Shan

Why didn't Jordan just change the password or deactivate?

Wendy is Obie but teachers version

Shan is at the same time a bad and amazing influence

I feel like I know Julien's grandma actress

The fact that they called Jamison over will never not be hilarious

Still don't get why or how Aki and Audrey went from "something's missing" to "we only need each other" to "something's missing" again in like a month

I didn't even realize Z did her nails the first time watching, they are pretty

Also hopefully next season will be fully Zoya and Shan being besties bc I'm absolutely adoring her

Someone said Zoya was in her Jenny Humphrey phase and like yeah she is

The way Heidi had been back for what, two days and realized Max was in pain before any of his friends did is just...

Is this supposed to be two stock photos or young Julien and Audrey?

"The mood is dessert" lmao

Is it bad I can't understand like a single reference they make in this show?

Audrey crying bc JC is leaving is breaking my heart rn

I don't know if Shan is just improvising but if she's not then she's really good at noticing what others feel

And a really good friend

Then why did you go through with posting it Kate?

Why is everyone saying Nick's actor is terrible? There has been worse on this show

I really love how Julien and Zoya smile when they see each other

I hope we get more of Pippa and Bianca too lol

Max stop plz be happy

Again, genuinely thought Pippa and Bianca were going to kiss

"Some thing isn't missing. Is it?" "He's missing" "He's missing. It's him." And now I'm crying, best scene

Why did you give it to him Gideon? Wtf? Why would you say that?

Last time this took five seasons

Why were they so nervous, I don't think most of them ever sent a tip

No Lunet :(

Now EP 12 yay! Season finale!

Brutal! Yes!

Pausing the show to read the tips sent in is totally worth it

Absolutely hate this Max scene

There are 1263 tips of Audrey + Aki? Wow

And 8578 of Max

Is he wearing eye makeup?

"And we didn't get arrested in the process"

Everytime someone says "I gotta go" all I can think about is Serena, lmao

Luna and Monet suggesting Julien seduces Aki and sleeps with him + Audrey and maybe Max what

what was exhibit C..?

I don't really like how Audrey and Aki don't care about Max unless they want him but whatever

Still rooting for throuple, they are cute together

Also when they do care about him it's the best thing in the show

I have said this before but I really love how Aki and Audrey just try to figure it all out always together. She promised this in ep 4 and never even thought about doing it any other way

I still ship Julien and Obie idc idc

It's weird how Luna and Monet just invite the school to a house that's not even theirs

Camille speaks just like Monet

Cannot understand the rule of only walking but ok

Grace is cute

The way Audrey flipped her head to Aki when Max came in lmao her expressions are always gold

Zoya lmao

Cute couple (but um just to confirm how old is he?)

"Lulu" aaaaaaa

Zoya's look when she saw the Roger picture lol but like same

I would also be completely lost

"I only play emotional games"

She didn't get Frida Kahlo? Girl...

"Let us mean girls turn her into a mean girl" I love the way she says mean girl

Davis Calloway is acting weird

Audrey trying to smile when she calls them a couple

This episode has so much Lunet, I love it

Who sent Davis the blackberry? Was it supposed to be Julien returning it or is his lawyer going to be a big plotwist or something

Best scene in the show I don't make the rules they look so good all dancing together

Is it Audrey singing these little bits?

Still don't get how Audrey and Aki thought this idea would work

Don't know how but I'm still surprised by how JC Luna and Monet treat people sometimes, even if it was always like that

Zoya too apparently

"All or nothing"

"If you're in, we're in"

My throuple aaaaaa

The one for all rule scares me tho

Bc tv shows aren't exactly known for their not on-and-off, long lasting relationships

And if they breakup it will be harder for them to get back together

And two of them can't just come back together as a couple

So, no Akiaudrey, Maudrey or Akimax ever

Please don't break them up

Grace's "You think staying it's winning?" was probably the best line of the show, we rarely see the group as the villains, even in the og

"Three, Two, One" Lumax friendship ftw

Zoya is always making points

And Julien acts like she's in a completely different planet

They really need the truth to smack them in their faces to listen to it huh

Why didn't Kate just pay for the cab. Why confront her.

Camille is a biotechnologist and complaining abt schools closing in the pandemic?

Camille was right about GG (even though she sent tips herself so I guess not really)

Camille destroyed Kate and she still think that counts as standing up for herself

Julien really thought that would work?

Also Obie do you love her or not just stick to your choice

"I just told Camille de Haan off" you didn't

Kate literally just shut up

Go Nick

"One for all or none for none"

finally, throuple

The hug aaaaa

"Now remember, one of you gets me at midnight, and the other one gets to go to the station alone"

Julien and Zoya finally making up

"Anyone could have been it, even me" and the way her face lights up finally Monet as queen JC was too nice anyways

Please tell me they are going up against each other. I need the drama.

Cute throuple

Also the boss fight song while Julien does her speech and declares war on gg

Monet queen

Julien really just apologized for being a bad friend only to betray everyone she knows

Mutually assured destruction

Julien's "I know you love me, XOXO" yes

What was Kate's condition

What did JC send her

"I'm Julien fucking Calloway"

"Did you miss me? I know I've missed you"

Does real Gossip Girl start now?

#gossip girl #gossip girl reboot #new gossip girl #gossip girl hbo #gg #gg hbo #gg reboot #gg rb #new gg

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