#i pu too much effort into this didnt i

[zendaycoolman]

romantic getaway  ( zoah )

sumary: after asking her to be her girlfriend, zendaya and noah ( @ncahcentinechq​ ) take a weekend out in a mountain / beach setting. this is a collectiong of small paras from that trip. triggers: fluffy, smuttish, angst, cursing, relationship starting at its best dudes when: somewhat a month ago.

DAY 01, the bathtub scene

ZENDAYA: "i'm sorry that i slept the most of the way here", zendaya said, after the both of them settled down the things they brought - suitcases, food, utensils and other supplies. she was hopping that he would erase from his mind the image of her snoring lightly clinging to the script for the second episode of euphoria. "i promise i won't keep you awake at night", with that powernap she knew she wouldn't be sleeping that much at night and was aware that noah loved his sleep. outside, it was close to nightfall, but they were both a bit sweaty from the heat and the effort they put on putting the rented cabin-house in order. reaching for a towel to clean her face, z offered another one to her boyfriend. "how about we break out the tub?", she asked, pointing the hotub outside of the glass walls. in the end she didn't wait long for an answer and took off her shirt, revealing her lacy brown bra as she walked towards the door.

NOAH: "You have the cutest little snor I've ever hear" Noah replied with a smile as they both got to settle everything they bought for their long weekend away from reality. It was a much anticipated weekend for Noah, and something he was really in need of, to have her just to himself. "Now that's a promise I want to see being broken" he was an early riser when it comes to the day to day life, and that wouldn't apply to their getaway, the last thing he is worried is with keeping up a schedule. They would eat when they are hungry, and sleep when tired. Uncomplicated. Everything was perfect about the place she choose for them. He was in love with every little details, and his mind was already running wild on how much they could do. At her offer, his brow was quick to raise, as he watched her taking off her shirt. "That plan sounds and looks amazing" Noah declared, taking off his own shirt and going after the brunette, biting down on his lower lip taking a good look at his girlfriend before catching up to her and grabbing her by the waist, pulling her back against his naked torso, planting a kiss on her naked shoulder.

ZENDAYA: kicking off her shorts as she walked, z wasn't surprised when noah pulled her close. she was hopping for it, that this would be how everything is this weekend worked: just them, connected, not thinking about work or anything else but them. zendaya wasn't the most romantic person she knew, but she did had a few things planned. "can i tell you a secret?", she asked, supporting her weight on him when putting her foot inside the warm watter. "i almost didn't booked this place over this tub. whenever i see it i just remember of peter and lara jean making out - then i realized", she was fully inside the water now so she pulled him close too. "that i have noah. which is way better", she wasn't sure about sharing that detail with him, but figured it was a way to show him that she was thinking about him. "but we can't do the make out part tho. we are enemies now, i'm sorry", she shrugged, pulling away from him, splashing some water in his direction.

NOAH: "You can tell me anything" Noah declaree wholeheartedly, feeling a peace of mind that he haven't been able to experience in a long time, now that he thinks about it. He aided her getting into the tub and didnt took long to join her "Oh god no" Noah complained, looking up and a sign of defeat. "I am way better then Kavinsky, and Lara Jean got nothing on you" he then declared, wanting to hold her close, as she pulled away from him, and instant pout formed in his features. "Whyyyyy?" he complained in this baby voice he knows he had a tendency to pull for some reason in the most random occasions. "Let me love you woman" Noah added playfully in tone, but meaning every word, as he splashed her back.

ZENDAYA: "you're noey, way better than peter", nodding in agreement, she got close enough to touch his chest. "DC", she then touched herself on the chest "Marvel", that was probably enough of an explanation for him. "congrats on the role babe", getting closer to him, she put both of her hands on his neck, feeling her body getting used to temperature completly. "actually congrats on everything you have been doing. working, getting new roles, but also for everything happening with favored nations, for being caring, for being patient and most importantly - for rooting for the warriors", and with that, she kissed him for a few seconds. "i guess i'm saying that i'm falling for you noah. i just wanted you to know that", her fingers pressed his skin, trying to show him one more time that she was there.

NOAH: "Thank you, I mean, he's a good guy and all, but I needed to hear that " he grinned at her. "Oh wow" Noah exclaimed, only now getting the enemies reference, as he welcomed her into his arms. "Please, that's literally nothing compared, my girlfriend is a freaking Emmy nominee  and I couldn't be more proud." when he first saw the news he started shouting and clapping in the middle of the meeting, getting everyone looking at him as if he went mental, but he couldn't care less. She deserved all the hype she was getting, and he couldn't be more happy for her. At this point it was so damn easy to get lost in the taste of her lips, and how perfectly they were fitting together. "I've fallen for you a long time ago, actually, I'm pretty sure I've fallen for you back  in that basketball court, and I can't believe I got this lucky" he declared back, gazing deep into her dark eyes, his fingers brushing small locks of her hair away from her face.

ZENDAYA: "can you believe it noah? I FUCKING DID IT!", the last part was a bit shouted and right now she was happy they were both in the middle of the woods, so no one but noah would actually hear it. zendaya nodded at him, agreeing. "if you think about it, it's kinda weird that from all places, that's where i take you? that basketball court is my sanctuary. i guess i was just waiting for you to come along", all these thoughts were running in her head for a while now and she was glad that there was space where she could say it without being silly. "just don't go anywhere any soon ok?", and after that she leaned for a kiss, a proper one, sucking his lips into hers, trying to make more obvious that she wanted to have him close.

NOAH: "I can believe it because you are that damn talented. You fucking did it!" Noah exclaimed, sharing the same excitement for her achievement, he was really proud of her. "It was meant to be." the brightest smile was now plastered in his face "I will be forever grateful that you allowed me into that court" he added, planting another kiss into the girls month. "I won't, you don't go anywhere either" he pleaded back, before getting lost into her kiss, eager for her taste under his tongue, officially entering paradise.

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DAY 01, serial dater, serial worrier

ZEN: "hey babe?", zendaya asked after almost thirty minutes of silence. they were in the backyard, laying down in front of a fire, surrounded by pillows and duvets. it was the end of the day one, after a big dinner and if they kept quiet they would probably sleep there. it was clear that zendaya had something else in mind, tho. "i have a necessary question", she started, reaching for his right hand. the girl was laying on his chest and was kind of glad that she wasn't seeing his face right now. "alex ren. you broke up with her in april right?", the question was sharp, but her voice was soft, having the sound of the campfire in front of them rattling in the background.6 de agosto de 2020

NOAH: "Hum?" Noah hummed as a reply, as he would find himself thinking in anything in particular, enjoying the peaceful evening the both were sharing by the fire. His hands were easily distracted by her hair, he didnt seemed to have enough of it. "A necessary question, alright" Noah gave a little nod. The question caught him off guard, at least at this particular time being. He was ready to have to discuss his past relationship, it was only normal if they were both starting one themselves. "The news of the break up can out late March, we have been drifting apart since the beginning of the year though. We came to terms with it by February." as he was speaking he was putting the timeline together in his mind. Gazing down at Zendaya he brushed her hair behind her ear for the trillion time that day. "What else do you wanna know?" he asked, willing to tell her whatever she might wanted to know.

ZEN: part of her wasn't expecting a honest answer or actually a answer at all. noah wasn't a ordinary boy, drowned in the dynamics that are expected of a male in society, but she was still surprised. raising her hand, she covered the moonlight on her face, trying to figured out what's the next question would be. "that's a few months before we met", she started. "which makes me wonder - am i the rebound? someone to help you get over her? that's okay if it's the case, i just wanna know", zendaya shrugged a little, still facing the sky while laying on his chest. none of them were capable to see each other faces right now and maybe it was for the best. "i'm not mad really, i just wanna know".

NOAH: As Noah realized where she was going with the conversation, despite being a valid doubt, it still hurted him a little. Love is a weird thing, and Noah as this way of living where he jumps right in at every circunstance that life presents him with. His past relations with Alex Ren is one of those circunstances, but as time goes by, there wasn't a real connection, not as lovers nor as companions. It took then a while to figure out that they are better off as friends other then pushing into something that wasn't meant to be. Zendaya on the other hand, he has noticed, is more of the type to think things through, and mesure her steps carefully, so he knew she had to ask him this things. "I see... the shortest way to reply you is that I was over her even before you and I met for that basketball game. So you are by no means a rebound. By the end of 2019 we both started to realize that the whole thing was a mistake. So the break-up was sort of a natural thing and drama free between the both of us until we made it official since we made it public and all." Noah did his best to explain, since he really wanted to make her understand his true intentions and where he is coming from. Specially when he has this gut feeling that... she's the one. Adjusting a little bit his body so he would he more into a seating position rather then laying, he then reached down to place an upside down kiss on her forehead since she ended up still laying on his lap. "There's no one quite like you, and dont you ever think that this that we have going on is anything less valued just because we recently got out of other relationship, something's we cant explain, you just feel." he whispered, gazing at her eyes even with their faces being in different directions  and he planted a kiss on her nose. At this point Noah was pretty sure to be in Love with the girl. But the last thing he wanted was to drop the Love bomb right when they are discussing an ex relationship.

ZEN there wasn't many people zendaya talked about feelings. dylan knew what was happening but she tried to downplay as much as possible, so he wouldn't know how lost she was into the questions she had in storage for noah. and lin did told her that she should just straigh up ask anything she wanted to clear, so for him it was more about the relationship itself and not the feelings behind. "right", stopping touching his hand, she scratched the space between her eyes, as if she was processing his words. she was taken by surprise again, now with the forehead kiss. "still, she wasn't the only one. according to the internet and your instagram actually, that's something that has hapenned before. dating someone for a year, then a few months single, then another year dating...", she wasn't ashamed to put out there that she was researching about his past relationships before even asking to him. in her mind she was about to step into a really big commitment, so she needed to know more about it. "i'm not judging. you do you and it's refreshing to know that you go for it. and on my book, it's kinda good - the idea of having an expiration date", in her head, zendaya was being understanding, trying to bind her idea of a relationship to fit noah's ways. and that, to her, was the ultimate proof that she was into him. "there's a lot of people like me", she smiled to show that this was a joke, but his next words made her fell into deep silence, looking at his face after the kiss. she had to take a breath to focus again. her heart wanted to let this conversation go and get back into comfortable silence by the fire, but her brain was too organized to do that. he made her want to be more confident on them and less of a brainer, but what if this was a mistake? "not that feeling anything will actually do us any good", she finally said out loud, her words sounded a bit bitter.7 de agosto de 2020

NOAH: Putting things like that Zendaya didn't really knew how that was something that actually bothered Noah, in all his moments of introspection he wonders what is wrong with him for not being able to keep a long term relationship, and connect at all levels he is so eager to reach, till this day he is still to find out. He stopped the small touches for a moment, picking the right way to reply to her. "The history is there, and I can't run away from the fact that it does look like a patern. Is not something that I'm particularly proud of. I actually wonder-" he stopped himself for a moment, trying to find the right way to put it. "I dont know... maybe I'm the issue you know?" he ended up adding with a sigh. At her next words his heart sank, and a frown took him. "Expiration date?! What the-" he refrained from cursing, but that one caught him out of guard and it made him upset that she found the idea of having an expiration date was a good thing. He slightly shook his head, "That's not how I look into things. And it hurts me when you put it like that... why would an expiration date be a good thing?" as their conversation went on, an unsettling feeling started taking over Noah. He was already way too deep into feelings for her to be saying stuff like that. "What does that even mean?! I'm not following. For you what is even the point of all this then?" as he question he gestured a circle around the two of them as he said 'all of this'.

ZEN: blinking her eyes pretty fast, she took a minute to appreaciate the fact that noah was being honest and putting himself as a possible part of the problem. people often dodged their responsabilities, specially men towards relationships. she could work with someone that was capable to admit mistakes. before z could articulate any further, the mood picked up and now noah was voicing that his feelings were hurt. scrathing her eyebrow, zendaya sat down, knowing that he should able to properly see her eyes for this part. "it wasn't my intention to hurt you, but you have to understand that i have to prepare myself for this", taking a breath, zendaya felt corned now, having to explain how her mind works. it was a constant feeling towards any significant others, having to adjust herself to them. "unlike you noah, i don't put my heart on the line when i feel there's a possibility. you're my second actual relationship, and i had a hiatus of seven years between. i don't do stuff that there's a possibility to end, i'm always in for the win, for the long run, if it's up to me i am not going anywhere", it was clear she was growing unhappy about this situation. this was why she didn't date, cause no one had to understand how she sees the world. "so when i see that you broke up all these relationships it scares the hell of me. make me feel not important, makes me feel like just another one on the list. or worst - that this is not real", taking a breath and looking down, she noticed that she was sitting in lotus position by his side this whole time. "and at the same time i like you way to much to walk away so yes, i have to find having a expiration date a good thing"., suddenly this felt like a weird pivot moment. make it or break it momentum. "it means that not even love can garantee that this will work. ren gave a interview saying that you were the love of her life. two months later you guys ended it.", she shrugged, sure that this was the worst outcome ever.9 de agosto de 2020

NOAH: "Prepare for what exactly Zendaya?" Noah asked, gesturing with is hands. This was important, he knew it was, speaking about the fears that come with giving yourself into someone else, someone new, but it was still hard and complicated to voice his mind and trying not to be too harsh, they had very different ways to see life, and that he knew. " I'm sorry Z, but relationships don't come with instructions, and not one is like the other, ever. You can't bring my past experiences or your past experiences into our relationship, we need to build our own, learn from our past obviously, but not let it define our future." he added, before growing silent again to listen to what she had to say. He was starting to get so confused by her words, but still trying to do his best to understand where she was coming from. He didn't knew she was that long before letting herself into a relationship. So he noticed some big scars there. " I don't know any other way to do this then to put my heart on the line." he declared, in between her speaking. " Who said I broke up all this relationships? And if all this broke ups mean anything is that neither of them were the right one for me, then maybe you are. Fucking god, how I wish that you are! How you can you be afraid that this might not be real? Have I ever didn't seemed present and open to give myself to you? Because that's all I've been trying to do." Noah was trying to make sense in his words, but wasn't too sure if he was being sucessful. " Z, how many times did you expressed your true feelings in a interview? Are you really bringing something my ex said in a interview?" at his point Noah couldn't help a stern expression on his face. " Listen, I can't promisse you that we will forever be together, no matter I wanted to be able to hold such promise. We never know what life throws our way. I do know is that my feelings for you are real, and can't imagine my life with you anymore"

ZEN: tilting her head to hear him out, zendaya was dangling between amazed  and concerned by his replies. they were so different, that was clear from the start and she was hopping it meant that they would complete each other, not colide. she also knew that this was on her too, so if she wanted it to work, she had some work on herself to do too. z felt like noah had understood her and now it was her turn to do so."ok. you're right. no expiration date, no promisses, no fears. just us being us.", zendaya finally said, nodding her head. this felt like the second part of the agreement that they did last week when he asked her to be her girlfriend. now this was a real relationship. "if it matters, i want you to be the right one too", getting closer, she slowly crumbled into his chest, asking to be hugged. "just don't let me go".

NOAH: Noah let out a breath he didn't really knew he was holding as she agreed to give them a fair shot really. "It matters a whole lot" Noah whispered, welcoming her back into his embrace, wanting nothing more then to keep her close to him forever. Thankfull to have long arms that were able to properly hug her into him, and still wishing to have some more so he could hold her even more tight. "I won't" he stated, placing a long kiss on the top of her head. "But babe?"

ZEN: "yeah?", she asked, her voice low, as is she was too scared to keep talking and by that make another mistake, or take a turn that would drag into that discussion again. she just wanted to be there, quiet and loved.

NOAH: "Forgive me but I really need to pee..." he finally said, chuckling, kissing her once in the month before standing up. "Start thinking on what you want me to make for dinner, I'm gona be right back" he added, slowly getting up to go to the bathroom.

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DAY 02, the first time

ZEN: "so, i was doing some reading", the woman was standing next to top the stairs that led to the only bedroom at the house. noah had just left the shower after they spent the afternoon sunbathing outside. "...on how to garantee that the first time with someone new is perfect", taking a step on his direction he could see now that she had a satin robe on. "they say: lingerie, protection, don't worry about appearance...", as she spoke, she undid the robe, showing her lacy black underwear. "...and don't put pressure on orgasming", she stopped midway on his direction, smiling. "so i have it all covered. IF you wanna do somethinng", she was nervous, it showed, but also there was a hint of possessiveness that he knew by now.

NOAH: With only a towel losely around his waist and casually brushing his hair off with another, Noah raised an eyebrow at the sight that was Zenday before him in her silky robe. He didnt interrupted her line of thought, just dropping the towel he had on his hand, having a feeling he would prefer to have them both free. "What else?" he questioned, even knowing that she would keep going. He did his best not to let his jaw hit the floor when she undid her robe showing off to him her perfect figure in a black lingerie, bitting down on his lower lip, Noah kept closing the distance between the two eager to reach her. "That sounds easy enough... IF YOU wanna do something" two could play this game, and for sure Noah would want to have fun with it, as he stopped right in front of her, brushing her shoulder ever so slightly with the back of two fingers, licking his lips, as he gazed into her eyes, their noses brushing together from their closeness.

ZEN: it was clear that she had thought about this several times. from the conversations where she looked at his lips instead of focusing on the content, or the making out sessions that stopped repeatedly, this moment was highly anticipated. "i came prepared. i ALSO have a poem", raising an eyebrow at him, she was challenging him with his very own weapons. he asked her to be his girlfriend with a poem. she would ask him for this with that too. zendaya then threw the robe on the floor, taking his hands into hers. "let me live or live in me. let me go home or make me your home ...", she whispered at first, giving his small kisses through the process. "get inside me, more than you get in clubs", she placed both of his hands on her ass, teasing him with a smirk after. "break my bed, not my heart ... make me wet, not wip", slowly, she pulls his towel away, dropping it on the floor. "because paradise it's reached when we're on our knees ... but not on a prayer", finally, she pushed him to bed and now she was the one licking her lips, watching the image of her completly naked boyfriend on the light of dusk. "fuck, you're so fucking beutiful", she broke character touching his knees with hers before slowly joining him on bed, climbing on top of his body as her lips went for the most desperate kiss they ever had.

NOAH: "I can see that you did" Noah smiled at her, but was surprised when she said she had a poem, using his own moves against him, he was noticing. He let himself being led by his girlfriend, and as she start on the poem, Noah was done, completely surrending himself to her, every word sending small shivers down his spine, every kiss lightning something inside of him, with his hands placed over her ass Noah didn't think twice before feeling her in his hands, holding her close to him, and even before she pulled his towel from his body he was already naked before her, his lust clear in his eyes, mixed with so much admiration for how she started this moment for the both of them. Letting himself fall in the bed, Noah let out a small chuckle, amazed how she took charge of everything, and was pretty much doing everything he wished he did. But then it wouldn't have been this perfect. "Come here already, and let me make you wet, and never, ever, wip" he reached for her hand and pulled her in, their lips smashing together eager for each other, like never before.

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DAY 03, the basics

ZEN: the past few days they feel qucikly into a routine. waking up, eating brunch, then either going to the beach or he convinced her to walk around the woods. at the afternoon they would eat together, watch something, play some game, just enjoying each other until at some point they ended having sex wherever they were at the house. this was the last day and they would be leaving after lunch, so she decided to let noah in bed and make him breakfast. once zendaya managed to get the tray while going upstairs, she smiled at him. "hey noey, morning", she said, putting the breakfast next to him in bed, before giving him a small kiss. "you can eat while i start organinzing shit. you probably tired from last night. sorry not sorry", she shrugged, remembering that they went two rounds more than normal in the past day.

NOAH: Noah was an early riser, but not today apparently. Probably because he knew it was their last day in heaven, and he really wasn't that hyper about getting back to reality. "Morning babe" he mumbled, brushing his eyes with his hands trying to keep them open, before yanning whilst opening his arms wide open. "Not so fast!" Noah held her back as she was getting ready to go on with her plan on packing. "what if you are what I really want for breakfast?" he teased, just wanting to hold her there a little bit longer next to her. "have you eaten already?" he wondered still hugging her down into the bed, he was really just trapping her there, with his arms holding her upper body and one leg over her own legs, as he made her lay there. "I don't wanna go" he declared, and you could listen the pout he was wearing in his voice.

ZEN: to hear him talking like that,  hoarse voice in the morning, calling for her, all of that was something the zendaya was starting to wish it was all her mornings from now on. but of course, noah wasn't just going to say, he was going to demonstrate, and all she managed to do before he took her was to get the glass of juice out of bed, so it wouldn't spill. "is that a promise?" she teased back. "not really, focused on doing something for you and forgot" she answered honestly, blowing some of her hair out of her face as she adjusted herself in position. "i don't wanna go either...", that was the kind of thing she would never allow herself to say before, to stimulate a fantasy that would never come true. but this trip proved to her that she could live in a made up world as long noah was holding her. "baaaaabe", now able to see the neck up close, her voice cracked. releasing one hand from the boy's embrace, she touched his skin, now with purple and red tones. "im so so so sorry", she bit her lower lip, already thinking about the shade of foundation she would use to cover it. "i'll get something to cover that for the trip, don't worry", she assured him, tilting her head to check the extent of the hickey on his neck.

NOAH: it was painful the mere thought of having to actually let her go and get on with the day, so greedy Noah decided to just kept holding her for just a little longer, as his mind started to really wake up. a chuckle vibrated through him at her teasing reply. "It can be"  he whispered against her ear. "let's have breakfast together then, and be lazy for just a couple more hours, and then we both will get everything packed and ready to go" he sugested, wanting to take everything he could out of these amazing days with her away from reality. "What?" he wondered confused, not sure what she was talking about, as she touched his neck he understood, and memories from last night rushed back into his mind, putting a silly grin to his face. "Why would I want to cover it?" he raised an eyebrow at her, before closing the distance between the two into a kiss, so she would stop over analize the love bite she left on his skin.

ZEN: taking a note to hold that promise against him later, she nodded her head in agreement, trying to move. "babes, in order to eat breakfast you have to let me go", she smiled, giving him another kiss on his chin. "so people won't give you a hard time about it", she said simply, looking at him. suddenly, another grin took over her features. "you know what's my favorite part of your body?", her fingers touched his cheeks. "your scar. i love it. even tho it's covered right now", zendaya caressed his unshaved face, finding him more attractive in this look. "speaking of it, we should cover our basics", at this point, she gave up trying to move and just settled under him, kissing his jaw on the process. "favorite movie, type of music, book, color, food, color, tv show.... tell me yours i tell you mine".

NOAH: "Forgot about that small detail" Noah jokingly pouted, before eventually letting her go for eating purposes, smiling as she kissed his chin, quickly closing the distance between them again smashing his lips on hers. "Yeah, I've grown found of it myself" He said, unvoluntarly reaching with his hand to his chin at the same time she carressed him. "Is the unshaved look girlfriend approved or not?" He wondered raising a brow at her. Grabbing the glass of juice to take a good sip at it, Noah nodded at the idea. "We really should. Feels like we skipped a couple of steps there" he chuckled, at the same time he was already thinking about the questions she already throw in there. "Let's see... Favorite movie is too hard, my favorite rom com is Failure to Launch tho, just music, the type of music depends a lot on your mood, I've been listening a lot to Kina, if you don't know of him you should definitely check that out, book, again, there's a lot, like a lot a lot, but I'm gonna say Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts. All the food. I can't pick. I don't have a favorite color, TV show, Friends." As he replied he was counting it with his fingers, grinning at the end. "You're up now"

ZEN: "i like it cause it's something that should let you traumatized but it didn't", she smiled, reaching for the chopped fruit, having some watermelon inside her mouth as she was kissed. "girlfriend aproved. makes me tickle. don't let it too big tho, i like your face", as she spoke some of the watermelon juice dripped from her lips, quickly cleaning it with the back of her hand. "babe, everyone knows you love kina. you hum it everytime", she laughed, zendaya herself had listen to it in her alone times because of him. "ok - movie is harry potter, i'm into oldie stuff like ray charles. aside of that anything R&B, book... i read a lot about business and biographies. i loved nelson's one. burritos, pizza and ice cream. i know imma die because of it. favorite color is pink, tv show would be handsmade tale", she tried to speak all of that in one breath as if it was a contest, laughing. "ok, next round - give me all the family names", she rose her hand too. "also, one thing that makes you happy, one thing that makes you mad, one thing that makes you sad and one thing that makes you horny", wiggling her eyebrows, she smiled and offered to feed him some grapes.

NOAH: "Oh poor dog got more traumatized then I did" he commented, stuffing some fruit into his month after tasting the watermellon from her month. "I'll see so it won't get too big" he said in tone of promise. "Oh, well it's really good" he chuckled. "Okay, I'm taking notes here. Harry Potter and Ice Cream in emergency situations. Got it. Mandela you mean?" he questioned to be sure concerning the book. "I'm the son of Kellee and Gregory, divorced by the way. And the younger brother of Taylor" he quickly replied. "You have quite the big family, which I find it so excited, but I'm afraid if you start naming them all I will forget a bunch. I just ask you to forgive me for it in advance" he pleaded with a small chuckle. "Meditation, is one thing that makes me happy. Mad? Fake people. Sad, well I get sad over the silliest things, like a song. Not having my girlfriend in arms reach for over a month! stuff like that. There's this black woman recently in my life, she pretty much holds that power, it's not really a thing that will get me going, if you know what I mean" as he said his last words he raised and lowered his eyebrows a couple of times. "What does makes you happy Zendaya Coleman. And everything else."

ZEN: "yeah, but we can't watch it together. dylan would kill me", she pointed that out with a face, nodding to the sides. "but if you show up with ice cream at my door i'll do pretty much anything you ask. and yes, mandela! his life is so inspiring", as he spoke she made a effort not to reach for a notebook to note it down, figuring that it would kill the moment. when he mentioned being sad for not seeing her for a month, she pulled his face and gave him a lil peck. she was specially proud that he acknowledged that she was a black woman in his answer. "my parents, also divorced are claire stoermer and kazembe coleman. kazaa for friends. don't worry, no one can actually remember all my siblings names, but it's katianna, annabella, austin, kaylee and julien", starting to smash a piece of bread, she nodded at him. "ice cream makes me happy, mad would be not being able to succeed in something that i invested time... i get sad over christmas songs for some reason and neck kisses gets me going. if you want to tone me down, touching my earlobe makes me sleepy", shrugging, she smiled. they were nearly done with breakfast, so she looked up at him. "ok, final question: what is your goal in life?", her voice was calm, looking at his eyes as she made the question.

NOAH: "Dylan would kill you? Why am I feeling jealous over harry potter right now?" noah frowned slightly, chuckling. "Ice cream, the key to your heart. Noted. I haven't read it yet, maybe you could lend me the book someday. But for what I know he had an incredible life experience." Noah commented, reaching for a couple of more fruit pieces, and orange juice. As she started to go on and reply to her own questions, Noah just listen, and rejoiced on the fact that she was sharing all this litle things with him, it might seem small, but it holds a great meaning when you are starting to get to know someone. With a small chuckling as she shared the earlobe fact, noah grinned at her. "That's something I will keep in mind" he smiled. "Oh, that's a loaded one." he had to take a moment to think about it. "I think the answer would be... just to be, really. You know? To be present in every thing you do. To be a good friend, to be a good son, a good brother. A good partner. At every step of the way, I just want to give my all in what I do, and have faith that will bring me happiness, and fullfillment. I don't have this specific thing. Of course I want to be sucessful profissionaly, but it's really not everything for me." This was the mess that was Noah's head right there, raw and without making much sense, but it was him, and he was willing to show her just that: him. "What's yours?"

ZEN: "don't even start babe, that's one you won't win", she replied with a mockery smile. as noah spoke back, zendaya quickly picked up the tray and it's belonging so clear the bed. she then sat on her legs, watching her boyfriend talk about his goal. at end, she had a huge smile on her face. "to be happy. i mean, i have loads of professional goals and shit, but i just want to brave enoug to be happy. give up when needed, walk away from people, all the hard decisions you have to make in order to make me and my loved ones happy", shrugging a bit, she was glad that they did this, sharing small things made her feel closer to him. "thanks for sharing noey. it's important to me", zendaya smiled at him again, but soon, snapped out of her silly face "okay, now, i do have a short term goal", benting her body to his direcion and gave him a long peck on the lips, then dragged her lips on his jaw line. "making my boyfriend cum", sharing a smirk, z pushed the sheets out of the bed with her feet to have more acess to him. the energy shifted, and he could see she was in a mission herself.

............................................................ [ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔼ℕ𝔻 ]

[whattimeisitintokyo]

Somos Familia: Chapter 34 (Part 2)

Well this chapter ended up being way too long. I had planned more for this chapter, but that ended up being long enough to be its own chapter and I’m tired of feeling that I have to finish the whole thing in order to post it. So here’s the last bit of the chapter. You can find the whole chapter on ff.net, and I’ll try to have it up on AO3 with a illustration soon. Sorry again for the long wait.

Also tomorrow is my birthday. I guess you could say that finishing this chapter on my own terms was my gift to myself. :)

---------------------------

Chapter 34: No Me Dejas (Part 2)

“Three days have passed since Dia de Muertos, and the country still mourns the abrupt and tragic loss of Ernesto de la Cruz, widely considered as one of the greatest musicians in the modern history of Mexico. Señor de la Cruz had just finished performing a concert that evening when sources say that a giant prop bell had accidentally broken off from the stage rigging above the singer, crushing and killing the singer instantly.

Since then thousands of grieving mourners have flocked to the gates of de la Cruz’s magnificent mansion in Colonia del Valle, holding candle light vigils and singing prayers while also leaving tokens and flowers outside. The mansion has also served as the home to his goddaughter and rising starlet, Coco Rivera. Whilst being known as a favorite topic of gossip this pass year in newspapers and magazines, Señora Rivera has surprisingly been keeping a low profile and out of the public eye since that fateful night. It can only be assumed that she is taking this time to mourn as well for the loss of such an important family member.

In related news her father Héctor Rivera, de la Cruz’s longtime business partner and songwriter, has been in hospital since that night after being taken from the scene by paramedics. There is no word on his condition, but his lawyer has assured that Señor Rivera was not injured in the stage accident but is instead seeking treatment for an undisclosed illness. We here at Excélsior wish him a speedy recovery and our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family.

Petitions are already being made to have Senor de la Cruz’s body to be lain to rest in his hometown of Santa Cecilia in Oaxaca, despite heavy requests to have him entombed in la Panteón Civil de Dolores alongside other famous people in Rotonda de las Personas Ilustres.

At the time of his death Señor de la Cruz was in the middle of several movie projects that will sadly forever remain unfinished, including a biopic about the Mexican Revolution, and was in talks of a deal to lend his voice for an American animated movie with Dis-“

A low, quivering moan broke Imelda’s concentration on the newspaper and turned it towards her husband currently occupying the hospital bed in front on her. With a sigh she folded it and placed it to her side, reaching out and grasping one of his twitching hands with hers. She winced at the tremors she still felt rattling slightly through his fingers, as well as the awkward way she was forced to hold his hand.

What with his wrist being tightly braced and strapped to the guard rail of the bed.

His other hand was also strapped on the opposite side, and a large padded belt wrapped around his thin chest to keep him firmly in place on the bed. An oxygen mask was placed over his face and several IVs were pumping him full of fluids and medicine. And despite being in a deep state of sleep, his teeth were clenched tight and his brows knitted into an expression of intense distress. A keening whine escaped his throat that gave into a deep, hacking fit of coughs.

Imelda immediately pulled off the mask and brought a clean handkerchief to his mouth as Héctor coughed painfully, only the straps keeping his body from convulsing on the bed. Finally, with one good expulsion he was able to clear his airway for the time being, gasping as Imelda wiped the corners of his mouth and placing the mask back. As he settled back down, he gently started to tremble again, whining pitifully and tears leaking from his dark sunken eyes.

Imelda sighed as she brought a clean corner of the handkerchief to wipe the tears from his face before placing it down to run her fingers through his greasy, unwashed hair to offer some form of comfort. It only seemed to distress him further and with a broken dry sob he wrenched his head away from her touch, lost in his nightmares.

It was truly heartbreaking to see Héctor reduced to such a state, but she was grateful to see him getting at least some form of rest. Especially after the last few days.

“What is this?!” she had screamed at the doctor, watching on in horror as several orderlies fought to restrain her husband’s mad flailing. “This is not pneumonia! What is happening to him?!”

Before the doctor could answer Héctor let out a wail and swung a punch at an unfortunate orderly standing too close by and knocking him off his feet. His arm now free he managed to rip off the IV out and began to frantically scratch at his chest, all the while yelling out profanities and indecipherable words as his eyes tracked at unseen figures and visions. As Imelda was hurried out of the door the last thing she heard was Héctor calling out for Ernesto.

And then for her.

“It’s the DT’s.” the doctor had explained after he was able to calm her down some with Coco and Julio by her side. “Delirium tremens. It’s alcohol withdrawal. If he’s been drinking for as long as you’ve said, Señor Magallanes, then it’s quite dangerous for him to just completely stop. It causes vivid hallucinations, irregular heart rates, sometimes seizures and, if severe enough, death.”

Ignoring the agonized weeping from her daughter and her own chest clenching in grief, Imelda whispered. “What can be done?”

The doctor wrung his hands and looked down in dismay. “Honestly, not much. There are medicines that can be given to treat this, but they would adversely affect his respiratory system. Given his pneumonia I can’t recommend giving it to him. Also, there’s the fact that he’s malnourished, and the shock… All I can do is give him some mild sedatives and monitor his heart and lungs. The rest is up to him, I’m afraid.”

They had returned to his room a few hours later to find him as he was now: strapped down and barely able to move, Dios knows that he was trying though. Despite the small amount of medicine that was given to calm him down, Héctor still saw visions that were terrifying to him and he strained to lash out at them. His screams had died down to pitiful whimpers and moans, and tears streamed down into his hair and ears. Over the next few days he was either in this state or a death-like sleep, and Imelda didn’t know which one was worse.

She felt absolutely foolish about it now, but seeing her husband going insane right in front of her had caused her to lash out at her daughter. Why didn’t she tell her that it was this bad? That he was starving and drinking himself to death, that his cold was actually much worse than it was, and that he was so miserable and broken-hearted that he screamed for her in his nightmares?

Instead of a cowed child being rightfully chastised by her mother for keeping secrets from her, Coco had met her glare dead on and even more. Imelda flinched back in shock at the righteous fury that showed on her daughter’s face, and what she had said next had finally knocked her off the high pedestal that she had set herself up on:

“What do you care, Mamá?”

And Imelda had to admit, she was right. Nothing she had done the past few months had shown that she cared about the man that she had kicked out of her life. She ignored every call, sent back every letter and telegram, even dodged each mention of him when Coco would talk to her on the phone. When she had bid a warm goodbye to Julio and Victoria she told them to give her love and warm wishes to Coco when they arrived. But not to Héctor. She just didn’t care.

But that was wrong. She did care. She cared about him and loved him so much that it hurt. And seeing her husband now, so lost in his sickness and misery, Imelda couldn’t bear the guilt that was crushing her from the inside.

“idiota… This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Imelda whispered as she locked Héctor’s cold fingers around hers once more. “You weren’t supposed to do this. Héctor…”

But he continued to sleep fitfully, his breathing hitching and occasionally giving in to more cough fits, and she continued to stay by his side. It was all she could do, now that it was too late.

-----------------------------------------

It was quiet now.

The walls had stopped melting into putrid puddles of gore and maggots, the bugs had stopped buzzing in his head and stinging his flesh, and the monsters had stopped attacking him.

The monsters were the most terrifying though. They held onto his arms and legs so tightly that he thought he would end up breaking his bones in his efforts to get away from them. They had looked human too, but humans didn’t have glowing white eyes and rotting flesh. They’re voices were low and distorted, filling him with dread despite what the words they said that were supposed to sound soothing.

Señor Rivera, calm down. You’re safe!

We have to give him something!

We can’t risk his lungs giving out! Just strap him down!

Dios, turn him over! There’s too much fluid, suck his lungs out!

It took forever for them to finally let him be, after many terrifying episodes of not being able to breathe and more fits of screaming in terror of the horrible visions in front of him, but he was finally able to break free and make a run for it. Well, run wasn’t the best word for how he was able to finally move. Floating wasn’t either. The world seemed to dissolve into a myriad of distracting colors and sounds, and he simply let his mind flow with it in a dream-like state.

And then suddenly he found himself finally there.

Back in front of the bell.

With a cry of triumph, he made his way over to it and braced himself against it in a sort of clumsy hug. “Don’t worry Ernesto! I’ll get you out! You’ll be alright!”

And so he had pushed. And pulled. Digging his feet into the earth and straining as hard as he could against the cold hard bell. He shouted encouraging words towards his friend, not letting the lack of a response deter him in any way. It seemed like he did it for hours, for days even, his throat hoarse as he cried out for help from someone, anyone! He’d even accept the monsters help if he could find them. In a last ditch effort he had even called out for his wife, pleading with her to help him even if she wanted nothing to do with him afterwards.

But she didn’t come. He could swear he heard her voice whispering to him, but he couldn’t make it out no matter how hard he tried to listen. With a broken heart he could only conclude that she was telling him to leave her alone. She had no use for such a lousy husband and a terrible father to her children. He couldn’t say he blamed her. He couldn’t even help his brother escape from his prison.

He was worthless.

And so, for the longest time, there was nobody except him and that bell. When he couldn’t push against it anymore, when his voice finally gave out and his spirit broke, he sat in front of it and softly cried. He murmured apologies to Ernesto, to Imelda, to his children, to anyone he had wronged in his existence. There was no use. There was nothing left for him. Except that bell.

“What are you doing?”

With a gasp Héctor looked up at the new presence before him. At first he feared it was one of those terrible monsters come back to take him away again, but it’s voice was not bone-chilling and grating. Rather it was sweet and clear, the clearest Héctor had heard in a while, but the figure itself was… light. A vaguely human shape ball of light that burned so bright yet oddly didn’t hurt to look at. If he squinted a little Héctor could guess that its head was slightly tilted in a sort of curious quirk. It was sort of cute, if a ball of light could be considered cute, and Héctor found himself slowly start to relax.

“I-…” he sniffled pitifully and turned watery eyes towards the bell. “I can’t move it… Ernesto’s under there and… I have to save him.”

“Really?” the light said and floated over the bell. Héctor saw a hand reach out and knock against the bell, and it rang out loudly enough for Héctor cringe back with a wince. He didn’t like that sound. Not at all. “I don’t know. Sounds empty to me.”

Héctor gaped at the bell, his heart sinking, and frantically shook his head. “N-no!... He’s under there! I saw it drop on him!”

The ball of light chuckled in tinkling sort of way, and Héctor glared at it. “Well, si, you did. I saw it too. But that was a while ago. He’s not under that bell anymore either. This bell,” it said and knocked on the bell again, the loud clanging causing Héctor to grip his head in pain. “… is hollow. Empty. And is just here to waste your time.”

Tearing his hands from his head, Héctor stared wide eyed at the ball of light. “Waste my time?... What do you mean?”

“I mean you need to wake up and face reality, tonto!”

Suddenly the ball of light zipped towards him and enveloped him in a soothing warm glow, almost as if it was hugging him, and Héctor found himself being lifted towards his feet. Once he was firmly standing up the light took him by the hand and started to lead him away from the bell. He resisted a little with a slight whine, his gaze fixed back on the bell, until a sharp tug jerked him away and pulled him forward. With a huff he glared at the light leading him away, gritting his teeth when he thought he could make out a sly smirk flitting across the vague features.

He continued to look back though, watching as the bell slowly faded from view into a white void. Then he noticed that the walls started melting again. His breath hitched a little in fear, terrified that the horrible visions from before were coming back to haunt him. The light gripped his hand tighter, but in a soothing manner, and Héctor managed to find comfort in the light for the first time since he met it. It was then he noticed that the walls weren’t exactly melting, but rather… falling into place.

Windows stacked next to each other, light fixtures dotted the ceiling in a straight line, and floor tiles tumbled into place just as his feet managed to touch them. It was then he noticed the pattern of the tiles, the color of them, and the shape of the windows and other fixtures. He had been here before. It had been a long time ago, but he had been here long enough to recognize the way the hallway was set up, and what doors led to what. It was engrained into his memory.

“I don’t like this place.” Héctor whispered.

“No, I don’t either,” the light said softly. “But it’s where you need to be right now.”

They continued on at a comfortable pace down the hallway, and slowly people started to materialize in Héctor’s vision. Men and women in sterile white clothing walking past them without even noticing them. Two of them were wheeling a bed down at such a speed that Héctor barely had time to react before they barreled right through them and raced down the opposite direction. The light giggled at that, and Héctor couldn’t help but give a shaky smile himself.

But suddenly a thought came to mind that chilled him to the bone, and he looked down at the light apprehensively. “Am… Am I a ghost?”

“Hmmm… No, I wouldn’t say that. But I wouldn’t worry about that. It’ll all be over soon.”

That was when the light finally led him into one of the rooms and let go of his hand. Looking up Héctor stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw: It was him. Lying in a bed, his hands strapped tightly onto the railings and his chest rising slowly with breath. And sitting beside him… was…

“No.”

The light paused on its way to bed to turn back and look at him. “No?”

“No I-I… I can’t.” Héctor whispered, his eyes never leaving his beautiful wife’s face. “Why is she there? She… She doesn’t love me. I can’t take it anymore… It h-hurts too much.”

“I’m pretty sure she loves you. Why else would she be sitting with you? Look at her. She looks so sad.”

Héctor shook his head miserably. “She’s just waiting for me to wake up… to tell me it’s finally over. That she’s moved on… I can’t face her… I’m too tired.” He dropped to his knees and stared at the floor, all the peace he was starting to feel again being crushed by despair. “Maybe it’s for the best… That I don’t wake up at all… Ernesto’s gone. Imelda hates me… I have nothing left.”

His head hung low and tears clouding his vision, he almost didn’t see the light step towards him until he felt its warm glow cup his face gently. With a sniffle he raised his eyes its face, or what he could guess was its face, and let it wipe the tears from his cheeks. Then he watched as it raised its hand slightly above his line of sight, and then…

*THUMP*

“OW!”

Héctor reared back onto his rump and flashed a hand up to his stinging forehead, rubbing it and staring at the figure before him in shock. “Did… Did you just flick my forehead?!”

“Si.”

“Why?!

“For being an idiot.”

With a snarl he managed to get back onto his knees. “I don’t need to take that from- GGGNAK!” His head was yanked forward as the light grabbed his nose, twisted, and pulled down hard. Then with its other hand it pulled his ear as hard as it could and started to shake his head back and forth. “GAH! What are you doing?!” he screamed nasally. “Stop!”

“What do you mean don’t wake up at all?!” The lighted shouted at him, continuing its assault as Héctor’s eyes watered with pain instead of sorrow. “Where is that coming from?! ‘Riveras never give up.’ Isn’t that what you’ve always said?”

Trying to pry the figure’s hands from his face, he glared up at it. “I’m not a real Rivera… I just married one- ARGH!”

“You’ve been a Rivera a whole lot longer than you haven’t been, old man!” the light yelled back. “And you haven’t lost everything! What about your children? Coco, and your granddaughter! What about Miguel. Are you really going to leave a little boy to grow up without his father? And who’s going to greet Matty when he comes back from the war?!”

“As for your wife, she right there waiting for you to wake up! She can’t run and hide in Santa Cecilia anymore! If you have something to say to her, then you make her listen to you! Think about it, you’re sick in a hospital bed. At the very least you have pity on your side, right? But don’t give up on her so easily, cabrón!”

“All right, all right! Ow! Just let go of me already!”

With one last shove the light let go of Héctor’s head and he cradled his face in his hands, getting his breathing back under control and trying to rub away the burns and stings. He flinched as the warm hand landed back on his shoulder, but when no further violence came his way he dared to look back up.

“I know this has been hard on you.” The light said gently. “And I know that you’re scared. But even if things don’t work out for you and your wife, you shouldn’t feel the need to give up. You still have a lot to live for.”

Héctor stared at it for a few long moments, before turning back towards the bed. Towards Imelda. It was right, she did look sad. And tired. If he woke up now, maybe he could talk to her. Maybe she’d talk to him. Despite his brain trying to convince him over and over that he was done, it was his time, and there was no need to linger on, his heart wouldn’t let him. It was leading him back to her. To his family.

Just like it always had.

Damn poet.

With a heavy sigh me slowly stood up and made it to his feet, his gaze now fixed on his unconscious form on the bed. With a new determination he made his way over and paused at the edge. Do I just… lay on myself? With a short snort of laughter he did just that, and was surprised to see his leg phase through himself as he climbed onto the bed. Rolling over he laid down onto his back, stared up at the ceiling, and waited.

…..

And waited…

…..

“Uh, nothing’s happening?”

The light shrugged. “You have been sleeping for a long time, and you’re sick. It might take a while for you to actually wake up.”

Before Héctor could reply to that, he started to feel changes slowly flowing into his body. Ah, this must be it. He started to feel heavier, more solid. That itself was a comforting feeling. He settled back down onto the bed and let the sensations build up through his limbs. He stayed still like that for a few minutes, with his eyes closed, before a tinkling little laugh next to him caused him to open them.

“This is taking forever!” The light giggled. It was such a sweet sound. So pure. Where had he heard it before? “Though not surprising. Even when you were healthy it took forever to wake you up, even when I jumped on your chest in the morning and tried to pry your eyes open.”

Héctor brows furrowed in confusion. He tried to lift his head off the pillow to look at the light properly… but found that he couldn’t. Slowly the solid feeling of his body turned into a heavy burden. He was so heavy! Too heavy! I can’t move!

“W-what?... What’s hap-”

The heaviness started to form inside his chest. His breathing turned into frantic gasps as he struggled to get air into his lungs. And now his body started to hurt! His arms and legs cramped and his head started to pound. Behind his gasping he heard his heart beating loudly in his ears. This is bad! This is bad! What’s happening to me?!

Then suddenly the light was leaning over his face, and Héctor stared at it with fright. Was this it’s plan all along? To trap him in this pain filled husk and laugh at him for his foolishness? He never should have trusted it! It started to lower itself to him, and with a small whimper he clenched his eyes shut and braced himself against... What? Oblivion? Mutilation? The destruction of his very soul? Whatever it was it couldn’t be good! It couldn’t-

“And don’t worry about Tio Nesto. He’ll be all right. I won’t let him be alone.”

….

Tio Nesto?

Héctor’s eyes snapped open and he saw the light was hovering over his face. He saw that smile again grace it’s face before it leaned over and… gave him a small kiss on the forehead. It was quick and chaste, but it was so warm and sweet, and it slightly soothed the aches that were afflicting his body. It drew back again and stared at him with such love in it’s eyes, and Héctor realized with a start of the fact that he could see it’s eyes.

They were his eyes!

Her eyes.

“You feel better Papá.”

With a choked out sob, reached out towards the light- my daughter!- but found that he couldn’t. He glanced down at his hands and saw that they were strapped to the railings of his bed, and no matter how hard he shook or strained against them he could not tear them free. Sitting up was also not an option, as the thick belt across his chest prevented him from lifting even an inch.

He turned his attention back towards his little girl, but she was gone. She had left him. Again.

“Leti!” Héctor cried out, tears streaming down his face as he tried to strain against the bindings once more. “Leti, don’t go! Leti come back, please come back! Don’t leave me, mija. Please don’t leave me again! Please, please, please…”

“Calm down Héctor.” A tired voice broke through his weak sobbing, and he glanced up through watery tears as his wife ran a hand through his hair in a calming motion. She began to speak to him, numbly, as if she had been repeating the same things over and over. “It’s not real. You’re alright. None of this is really happening. She’s not here. It’s okay, Héctor.”

Héctor concentrated on his wife’s face, forcing himself to calm his seizing chest and his pounding heart. He listened to her soothing words and slowly the hysteria faded away, leaving him exhausted and light-headed. And as the minutes passed and he became more and more aware of his immediate surroundings, the visions from before slowly faded as well. What had he been dreaming about? There was a light, he remembered. And a voice. It was so familiar. But even those vague recollections of his dream faded into nothingness as well, as for the first time in over three days Héctor was finally awake and aware.

“Imelda?” Héctor whispered. “What happened?”

“…Héctor?”