#i reject tlou2 so i wrote the only death for joel that I'd accept

[sotvtaughtmehowtofeel]

...I'm sorry

Ellie sat at the bedside, strumming the guitar Joel had found for her. She played quietly for him every evening to help him sleep. He said it helped, when he could speak. She looked at him, lying there in the bed, and teared up. He was weak and getting weaker, they all knew the end was close.

Tommy had been there earlier, speaking to her softly. “His heart is failing. Doc says it’ll be tonight.” Ellie had nodded, her eyes wide. They’d all known it was coming. Tommy had left to find the others.

Ellie played a few more cords Joel had taught her, then fingered the engraving he had carved for her on the side.

“Ellie,” he said softly.

She wiped her eyes quickly, laying the guitar aside to lean forward and hold his hand with both of hers. Thirty-two years later, and her hands were still so much smaller than his.

“Hi Joel,” she replied quietly.

“I’m so glad to see you, babygirl,” he muttered.

She nodded. “Me too. How are you feeling?”

He paused for a moment, then turned his face to smile at her. “Happy.” He reached out, cupping her cheek with his free hand. “You’re still getting better at the guitar. You could teach me a thing or two now.”

She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears again. “No, Joel, you taught me everything.”

Joel shook his head, coughing slightly. “You taught me one thing. You always forget that one.”

“I don’t think you learned well enough,” her voice broke.

He laughed slightly, weakly. “It’s time, babygirl. We had a good life here.”

Ellie had had thirty-two years with Joel and had watched him mellow out, had watched him heal, had watched him step into a protective role for her child and grandchild, moving away from a violent, desperate protection to a kind of nurturing protection that he’d started showing with her decades ago. She’d watched him grow into this, had grown and changed with him, but it still struck her sometimes. He had been so different when they had met. They both had.

The door opened quietly, and Tommy came inside, followed by Maria, their daughter, Dina, and JJ. JJ was carrying her daughter.

“More people wanted to come, but I didn’t think they should,” Tommy muttered quietly.

“No,” Ellie agreed, still gripping Joel’s hand. “Now’s a time for just family.”

“Look at you,” Joel said softly, smiling around the room. “Y’all here for me?”

“Course, Joel,” Tommy replied. He laid a hand on Ellie’s shoulder, his thumb rubbing her shoulder in comfort. “You think we would just let you leave?”

Joel chuckled. “Not sure you have a say in the matter, Tommy.”

One by one, each of them stepped forward to speak to Joel quietly, give him a hug, kiss his cheek. Ellie didn’t let go of his hand the entire time, and he didn’t try to pull away from her. They left one by one, after saying their goodbyes, hugging each other and holding hands, until it was just Ellie sitting where she’d been at his bedside, their hands still locked together. He reached over with his other hand, closing it over hers and rubbing his thumb back and forth.

“I love you, Ellie, you know that,” he muttered.

She snorted. “Yeah, old man. I love you too.”

“Ellie?” he asked again, his eyes closed. His voice was so weak. His hand started to slip off of hers.

“I’m here, Joel. I got you.” Tears fell from Ellie’s eyes. “Go be with Sarah, now.” She smiled slightly through her tears. “Tell her I say hey.”