#i saw a post with the phrase ''calculated mediocrity'' and. yeah. yeah i think that's what i want here
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I need to go to work and be nothing short of absolutely mid
#same pay no matter what i do and i need to make it all about meeeeee#as soon as the debt isn't hanging over me i think i need to start really looking for something else#as per what my therapist would say. this job no longer aligns with my values#i need to scale back how i work or i am going to burn myself out really badly and ive already done that once#like yeah the pay is nice but i am no longer being paid enough for the shit we're making me put up with#i just. need something slower. and if i end up getting lucky and supplementing income with my art#it would open a lot more venues; FUCK i could drop down to part time but that's a huge huge huge if#i wouldn't count on it but. you know. i need to keep telling myself how much of this isn't mine#the attitudes given to me are not reflective of me or my work. whatever happens must happen#i want to hold onto that while I'm there and being pressured to do 20 different things#i saw a post with the phrase ''calculated mediocrity'' and. yeah. yeah i think that's what i want here#pay to cover the bills but not enough to break my back over it#shai speaks
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