#i think i won't be giffing anymore loki stuff

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 35 here/ Series Masterlist

Chapter 36

Summary : Loki's torture ends as after years of separation he finds his way back to you.

Warning: 18+, HUGE Canon divergence (Just me making shit up), timey wimey stuff topics dealing with cheating and falling out of love, mention of pregnancy, infertility, gif is how he looked ;)

When Loki had chosen to fix the timeline again he knew he'd be in his own personal hell that he himself had created for the next few years of his life. When Frigga died all he wanted to do was run back to you so you'd hold him in your arms and comfort him but he couldn't.

After the events of Svartalfheim he pretended to be deceased and moved to midgard for a while until Thor had found him again.. he had promised the ancient one that he wouldn't interfere in your life and he didn't, first few weeks were the hardest for him, worst, at times he thought that he'd rather go through Thanos's torture again then go through this.

He wasn't able to sleep or do anything but he stayed strong, for you, for both of you. He missed you with every inch of his life, the only thing keeping him going forward was the assurance that each and every day was only bringing him closer to you.

Seven years was a long time, every morning as he awakened he thought of you and his heart broke in pieces as he realized that you must have been sad and lonely at times as well, feeling as if you're life was meaningless, fearing that you'd never fall in love with a man, would never feel the heat you so badly craved and he knew you'd feel that way for a long time to come. And he wouldn't be able to stop you from hurting this way, he really wished he could have loved you better than this but he felt helpless, time was never really on his side.

For a god seven years weren't really much but you were just a mortal.. and he knew with every passing year you were only losing more hope, losing more life as he just moved on with his own and did nothing..

Two years passed somehow and he knew you'd go on to marry Strange during this time period, he knew all about what was going to happen and he couldn't stop the precious love of his life as she got tied to another man.

As she became a wife but certainly not his.

....

"Happy birthday sweetheart" you heard your mom's voice on the phone , she was the only one to call you after Mrs Geller, at least they remembered your birthday because your own husband didn't.

"Thanks mom, what are you doing?" you asked her so she sighed,

"Y/n you know you are 35 now, you don't have much time left, are you both planning to have kids or not?" you groaned internally as she said that. You haven't really told her the truth yet. Sure your sex life was as bland as a weak tea but that didn't mean you didn't want kids of your own, you really did but nothing worked.

Even though your body was healthy and hospitable as your doctors had told you, you couldn't just get pregnant, you thought maybe Stephen was infertile but he was perfectly fine in that department as well, it was a medical mystery why you weren't able to get pregnant.

"Is that the only thing you think of all the time mom?" You asked her, bit annoyed by her inquiry. Well you were very annoyed.

"Of Course I do"

She answered so you rolled your eyes, once she hung up you got out of the bed and got ready for work, as you stepped out in the living room Stephen was there on the kitchen table reading a newspaper. As your eyes met with each other he gave you a smile that never really reached his eyes whenever he was around you. You didn't blame him either.

"Good morning" you mumbled as you made your way to the kitchen to make a quick breakfast for yourself.

"Morning, I'm off to Philadelphia today and won't return for a week" he told you nonchalantly so you nodded.

"Well..Drive safely" he chuckled as you said that.

"You don't have to worry about that anymore " he smirked so you resisted the urge to roll your eyes again.

Two years ago he had gotten into a bad accident that had almost ended his life. Doctors had told him that he'd never be able to operate again but then he went to Nepal and apparently found a mystic healer or something, you couldn't believe your eyes when he had returned perfectly fine as if nothing had happened to him, however you did notice a slight change in his demeanor, he was less arrogant and more sympathetic towards you.

For a few weeks your relationship with him had gotten better but then it fizzled again, your heart was never in the right place when you married him, you knew you shouldn't have married him. You shouldn't have married him because you sure as hell weren't in love with him, as much as you had all these fantasies about a magical love life since you were eight, it never really happened to you. You never found a man who made your heart skip a beat with his presence, gave you butterflies that would leave you gushing for days or made you feel heated just by his mere touch.

When you turned turned thirty two you had just accepted that not everyone was destined to find that sort of love so you settled for Stephen and he settled for you, though you didn't understand his reasons, because he sure as hell wasn't in love with you either.

A year later you finally built the courage to ask for a divorce and much to your surprise he agreed almost immediately, that's when he confessed to you that he had been having an affair with his colleague Christine, not that it gave you a whiplash or made you feel betrayed, you had a feeling he wasn't faithful to you.

You had been cheated on before and were still carrying the scars it had left behind but with Stephen it didn't even hurt, you were equally responsible for this, sure you never cheated on him but you were never really there either, he never really felt like a lover to you, there was no romantic love between you two and it was proven as you two had met at your parents' anniversary a few months later after the divorce, that's when you knew that a platonic friendship is what you needed from him.

You were enjoying a life where you weren't trapped in a forced loveless marriage but that wasn't to say that you liked being alone, you despised it, all you wanted to do was find a man who'd love you as crazily as you'd love him but you knew you weren't blessed enough to find him.

Even when you met guys who you felt a miniscule amount of attraction for -they were either too young or too old, and both didn't seem interested in you in that way, you would turn forty in a few years, your time had ended but accepting it was way harder than one could imagine.

The hopeless romantic in you just wanted to find love, it didn't want to give up but with every passing year you were losing your will to go on, you have always felt so hollow from deep within, but it only got worse as you entered this decade of your life. You still remembered crying all night on your 30th birthday, now you wanted to go back to being thirty again, that felt much better than this..

Ever since you had turned thirty you always felt as if you were missing a piece of your heart, as if someone owned it but you didn't remember who. You always felt as if there was a man out there for you but you weren't able to find him anywhere, as if he wasn't even from this planet.

Few more months later Stephen invited you to his birthday bash in NYC. You had moved back to Minnesota post the divorce so he flew you in and even arranged for your stay. A free lavish trip wasn't the offer you were going to say no to so the night of his birthday you put on a fancy green dress, the thin straps had cute hearts shapes attached to it and after a long time you actually felt good about yourself. You had been working out, taking care of yourself, doing everything you could to still feel a little hopeful in life and it worked until your head finally hit the bed at night and made you aware of how miserable your life has become.

As you reached the venue you met Christine and things were unsurprisingly good between you two, she was a good woman, she understood Stephen and loved him the way you never did. He deserved that. Also apparently he was a superhero now but you still didn't understand what he actually did or what his purpose was. Sometimes you really sucked at being a nice person and taking interest in other people's lives.

After dancing for a bit you felt very tired so you told Christine you were going to grab a drink.

You sat down next to a gentleman in a black suit, he was attractive. He probably was the most attractive man you had seen in your life, his raven hair went past his shoulders and when he looked at you, those green eyes bored right into your soul. You also felt as if you had seen him before, you felt as if you had known him for years.

Usually men such as him made you feel extremely nervous around themselves and insecure in a weird way but for some unknown reason you felt calm with him..

"Sorry i didn't mean to stare, i felt as if i had seen you somewhere" he chuckled as you said that, that mere smile gave you butterflies. What was happening to you? This wasn't like you at all. You had never felt such an intense attraction towards a man before, not this way.

As soon as Loki saw you from across the dance floor, all the feelings that he had been suffocating for seven years were threatening to explode but he kept his cool, you didn't remember him and he had to do it in a way that wouldn't make you feel scared of him. He had waited years to find you again, he could wait more.

"Perhaps you have seen me on the news, I invaded your planet with an army a few years ago" your eyes widened in realization as he said that.

"Oh my god you're Loki '' you said to him and he turned his head to look at you, his lips sipped on the neat whiskey he had ordered for himself. Gorgeous gorgeous guy you thought, of course he was, he was a literal god. You and your standards you thought.

"For a moment I was afraid my popularity had plummeted around here" you let out a nervous laughter as he said that. He had clearly caught you checking him out.

"Noo i.. I read about you at the time, saw you in the news ..my ex husband actually made me see why we were supposed to hate you" you mumbled as you airquoted your sentence, a bit ashamed by the reveal, you still remembered your first date with Stephen where he just ranted against Loki, so why was he there at his birthday party now?

"Well I hope your feelings are not the same anymore" you gulped as the intense eye contact made you feel flushed. Your cheeks felt warm so warm and all you wanted to do was lean into him like a pervert.

"So what are you doing here?" You asked him to avoid feeling those butterflies that were swarming in your belly.

"I was summoned here for a crucial discussion," he answered you.

"Ohhh" you mumbled.

"I watched you dancing over there" your ears perked up as he said that. There were so many gorgeous, young and gorgeous women at the party, why was he watching you? Men that looked like him never went for women like you.

"You did?" You cleared your throat as you spoke,

"You have a way with your hips don't you?" Was he flirting with you? Oh god it's been years since a man this attractive had flirted with you. A man you actually wanted to flirt with you.

"Ummm well i wanted to be a dancer once" you mumbled and suddenly felt like a fool.

"I can tell, makes me think of other situations where you could show me how those hips could work" you bit on your lips as he said that. Loki's entire self grimaced as he was clearly being obscene with you, but he was pretending to be the confident asshole he was known as, however as he noticed the way you had blushed he found himself craving your touch. It's been seven years for norns sake.

He placed his fingers on your chin to make you look at him and brought his lips to your ears, if he was some other guy you would have pushed him away by now but for some reason you felt hypnotized by his mere presence, everything about him enchanted you, you felt as if you were under his influence, his cologne attacked your senses and all you wanted to do was kiss him.

You had never felt such scorching heat with someone in your life, you never thought you'd ever get to feel it either, you didn't think it existed for you.

"Care for a dance?" He whispered in your ears and you could only whine in response which he took as a yes. His fingers laced with yours as he dragged you to a secluded corner of the hall.

Baby, you can

Ride it, ooh, yeah

Bring it over to my place

"Nice song isn't it?" He whispered in your ear so you hummed in response, it existed because of you and you didn't even know that, you were the one to send the lyrics of the song to Mark Johnson in the hope that it'll get sent to the artist. Apparently it did.

You moved slowly with him to the rhythm of the music, he placed his hands on your lower back and the action made you gasp, dipping you down slowly before he pulled you up, smushing you so close to him in a moment, your chest were pressed to him, you were too close to man you barely knew.

And you be like

"Baby, who cares?"

But I know you care

Bring it over to my place

Your hips rolled in circles and hands curled around his neck, what was this feeling? Your lips were so close to him but he wasn't kissing you, even though you wanted him to just kiss you desperately.

You don't know what you did, did to me

Your body lightweight speaks to me

I don't know what you did, did to me

Your body lightweight speaks to me

"Goddd" You whispered and a small smile curved the corner of his mouth.

"There you are i have been looking for you"

You heard Stephen's voice so you pulled away from the man you had met a few minutes ago. Even after the divorce was finalized you still felt weird about being close with another man around him.

"What happened?" You looked at him and he snickered in response.

"I was talking to him, I called him here to discuss something important"

You directed your attention towards Loki and he smiled at you before he looked you up and down from head to toe then he leaned into you to press a goodbye kiss on your cheek,

"See me again sometime later?"

You nodded as he said that, he walked towards your ex husband and went along with him, his smell lingered around you still and you had to sit down in order to calm down your nerves.

You had never felt this way before, you had lost all hope of finding a man you'd feel this level of attraction for and now you were almost thirty seven and a literal god was showing interest in you. A god. You wanted to scream because you knew he was unattainable, maybe he was just looking for a one night stand, of course he did. Guys weren't really looking to marry you at your age. At Least not men like him.

Strange had invited you here but he was missing from his own party so after a while you made your way upstairs to tell him that you were going back to the hotel as you felt tired, or maybe that was just another excuse to see Loki. Not it wasn't, you weren't that desperate for a man you had just met. You had never been that person. Right?

As soon as you reached the room you knocked on the door and took a deep breath, much to your delight Loki opened the door instead.

"If I didn't know you any better i'd have made an assumption that you came here for me" Your face flushed again as he said that, the smirk on his beautiful face was apparent.

"Well You don't know me Mister. Is Stephen here?"

He smiled and stepped away so you could get in the room but as you got in you noticed that Strange wasn't there

"He went away for a moment" Loki said to you so you sighed and turned around to look at him

"Umm okay..will you please tell him that I am tired and going back to the hotel? I'm staying at the Ritz"

"Sure would my lady, I'm sure he knew that already or perhaps the invitation is for me?" He asked you and you felt your face heating up again but instead of getting nervous you got bold instead, you didn't know where it came from..

"Maybe it is"

"What room?"

Lord, was he going to visit you?

"143"

He nodded his head as you said that and you walked past him to leave the room.

"Do you even know my name?" you suddenly turned around to ask him and he gave you a soft smile in response,

"It's y/n..isn't it?"

"He told you, didn't he?"

He didn't know why his eyes teared up at the question, he had been holding himself back from just wanting to grab you and kiss you at the moment.

"He did"

As soon as you were out of the room you took a deep breath, how come you had bumped into the sexiest man you had ever laid your eyes on? Not just that but he actually seemed interested in you. Things like that just didn't happen to you so it felt a little weird. What did he want from you? Perhaps a night of debauchery? That was your best guess, only half an hour later you heard a knock on the door so you opened it and found him on the other side,

You invited him in so he looked around before he diverted the attention back at you.

"Ummm you want something to drink? I have like ummm let me check" you walked towards the mini refrigerator to rummage through it "There's coke, some alcoholic beverages, I don't know if you consume that" He chuckled as you said that.

"Don't they charge heftly for that?" He asked you curiously.

"Well my ex is paying for the room so you know" he chuckled as you said that. Norns he had missed you and all your little quirks.

"I will have whatever this Coke is supposed to be" you smiled nervously as he said that. You grabbed a can from the mini freezer and passed it to him, you were shocked a little when he opened the can without even using his fingers,

"It's a charm" he said as he found you looking a bit starstruck.

"I see.. I mean I know..you're also magical and all" He smiled as you said that, he walked closer to you and your breath quickened as he continued to reach closer and closer to you with every step.

"Have a sip lady y/n" he pressed the can right over your lips and it made you gulp.

"It's okay…I ummm" you stuttered on your words and he couldn't help but enjoy the sight of you squirming like that. It boded well for his ego that he had such an affect on you even though you didn't even remember him just yet.

"I insist, it would be rude of me to not offer" you pressed your lips on the opening of the can and he raised it up a little so you could take a sip. After you were done with the sip, he brought the can back up to his own lips and drank from it, all while his eyes stayed glued to yours. He noticed the residue of the drink on the corner of your mouth and all he wanted to do was lick it off. His thoughts were filthy. It's been seven years, that was two thousand five hundred fifty five nights of him just touching himself to your memories .

"Uhhh so how was the meeting with Stephen?" You asked him to cut through the tension..

"Atrocious, he so badly needed my assistance but the arrogant arse took a while before he admitted it" you chuckled as he said that.

"Well you should have seen him years ago before ahhh the accident..he was way worse"

"Mmmhmmm?" He walked closer to you and placed the can down on the dresser behind you "Makes me wonder why a sweet woman like you would ever hitch herself to a man such as him" He whispered, his voice remained low and husky.

"Well I thought it was the right thing to do at the time" you looked down and he figured you couldn't even look in his eyes for longer than a few seconds.

"Is that so? Did it feel right?" He put his fingers on your chin and made you look up at him, every inch of your skin began to tingle with his touch. What was he doing to you and why?

"Not really..if the divorce wasn't enough of an indication for you then let me tell you that I do regret that decision everyday of my life"

He smiled as you said that. The forest green slip dress you had on made you look delectable, there were two heart shaped ribbons attached to the top of the straps that kept the dress hanging on your body, he found it really adorable. You let out a moan as his thumb brushed over your lower lip.

"Lokiiii" the sound of his whispered name made his cock harden in a jiff but he used the charm to keep himself from showing it, he didn't want you to think as if he was there for just a night of fun.

"Apologies little one, I got carried away" He took a step back and he noticed your heavy breathing. You weren't making this any easier, he remembered the dream he had about you two before where he lived the same scenario, he knew what you were going to say to him, it always started this way between you two, with friendship, a relationship that was built in such a way could have only lasted forever, there was no other way around it.

"It's okay I just… I am still dealing with the divorce and I just.. I don't know what you thought would happen tonight and I know I invited you here basically but I ..I'm just not ready for ..you know" your eyes teared up as you mumbled, that wasn't the reason why you didn't want to sleep with him, you didn't care about the divorce, you just didn't want him to think of you as someone he could have fun with for a night and leave, his own eyes softened as he noticed the anxious look on your face.

"Whatever it is that you desire from me tonight, I will give you that darling" he said firmly so you smiled before you chuckled slightly in disbelief.

"Really? So if I tell you that I barely have any friends and I want you to be my friend first, would you be my friend?" You asked him, he could sense the mockery in your tone, he didn't blame you, he knew his reputation wasn't the best especially because of how promiscuous his brother was on midgard he figured you must have put him through the same judgment, you didn't remember him after all.

"I would love to be your friend, I do not have any either"

Your eyes widened as he said that.

"Okay so ummm okay we can be friends i guess" he smiled as he grabbed your hand and placed a formal kiss on the back.

"My lady, I won't disappoint you i promise"

He kissed your forehead and as you looked up at him all of a sudden he just felt so familiar, as if you knew him in some other life, he felt like home and you couldn't really describe why.

That night as you both stayed up and talked you found yourself getting more and more attracted to him.

Days passed and turned into weeks but he never stepped out of line or asked you for things you never wanted to do, all your life you had felt a certain emptiness in your soul, even when you felt happy at times you found yourself thinking about the missing piece of your heart, you had always felt as if you were born with half a soul and for once in your life you were starting to believe that he was it. That he was the one you had been looking for, that he was the answer to all those questions. But he felt too good to be true.

How could someone be so precious as he was?

You had no idea how complicated your relationship was with him but you were going to find out the truth on your coming birthday..he was going to change your life forever, it would never be the same again.

And that is exactly what you had wished for all your life.

🥹💚🥹💚🥹💚🥹💚🥹💚🥹💚🥹

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