#i'd like to dedicate watching the rain with kai to cat & dog's prechoruses

[pollenat]

TXT and 5 ways to say I love you

YEONJUN

A stray glance you catch by an accident. Smile that instantly blooms on his face, strong enough to have you turning away, because of how shameless it feels to be its subject. The instant need to look again. Struggling for just a few seconds. In the end, your eyes are returning to catch his again. The smile that has slightly fallen in the meantime returns to its full glory. Now with an undertone of humor your shyness has caused.

Watching the cloudy outdoors. People are running in different directions, eager to escape the nasty weather. As some pull coats tighter to hide from the cold, you chew on a hot noodle, secure in the warm insides of a restaurant. You’re so taken by the spectacle, you don’t notice an approaching face. Yeonjun kisses the corner of your lips. He’s all proud smirks, because he caught you off guard. Though you’re embarrassed, you don’t push him away.

The need to be closer. Breathe in his smell. Find the imperfections that perfect him. Feel the texture of his stiff eyelashes. Shiver at the feeling of his warm breath. Gaze at the nail he accidentally cut too short. Skim both the softness and the roughness of his skin. Hear emotion in the tone of his voice. Look at him and feel alive. That’s why missing him when he’s gone is so difficult. You can’t keep your mind clear for long enough. All you can do is need, need and need.

Standing on your own, only to be approached before you can get lonely. A warm embrace is the first to welcome you, though you haven’t registered its bearer yet. Sure, it’s obvious - there’s no one else who’d do so other than Yeonjun, but his appearance needs to be acknowledged by your mind before you can relax in his hold. Warmth rests against the side of your head. Though your surroundings are loud, his breath breaks through. There’s something therapeutic to its presence, but you don’t voice the thought aloud. Instead, you lean towards the source of affection.

The waterfall of messages, marked by constant ringing. Your phone is turned downwards. It vibrates violently against the wooden surface of a night table. Tired, shaken and, in a way, empty inside, you finally reach for it. Your eyes do their best not to read the words. It’s the settings you’re looking for. Profile? Silent. Though the notifications don’t stop coming, you welcome the lack of irritating sound effects with relief. Just as you’re about to put the phone away, a stray word catches your attention. Please.

SOOBIN

The laughable lack of space in the photobooth. Soobin’s crescent-like eyes are watching your wide smile of embarrassment as you struggle to fit legs inside. His hand is keeping you from falling out of the booth. The two of you lean as close to one another as possible, so your faces are caught by the built-in camera. The seconds of panic in-between blinding flashes are made of ideas, but no confidence on how to pose next. What could have been is realized while waiting for the pictures to develop. When it’s done, your heads knock from laughing at the chaotic final product.

Lying on the floor during a particularly hot Summer day. The wooden panels are cold - a stark contrast to the suffocating warmth of air. You can’t move, nor do you want to. Soobin’s face is turned towards yours. He tries a smile, but you can tell he’s about to fall asleep. A bead of sweat is rolling down his forehead. You catch it, but do not take your hand away from Soobin’s skin. Like a kitten, he cuddles to the opened palm. Fingers close on your forearm to keep it in place.

The simplicity of him saying just a few words. They’re nothing big, the most used words among humans, one would think. And yet, coming from Soobin’s lips and meant for you - they gain an impossible strength. One that seems enough to lift your spirits at the end of an exhausting day. One that has you proud even of the smallest of achievements. One that makes the difference. Though Soobin doesn’t seem aware of the effect he has on your mood, he doesn’t need encouragement to continue spoiling you with simple, but magical words.

A fogged window. Though you can easily make out the familiar silhouette, you stay back, waiting for him to make the first move. Soobin’s hand raises to draw a shape in the colorless space. He’s slow and meticulous, careful as to not make any mistake in his adaptation of a heart. When the starting point meets with the ending one, he clears the space inside. A dark eye - now the only sharp shape - winks at you through, sending a wave of warm feelings along.

He should be mad. You’re mad, so why can’t he be as well? Instead of cursing, screaming, talking, he just sits with head hung. Quiet, sad rather than angry. You cannot find a voice to attack him for that. No arguments are given back. Soobin is silent. You want to leave and you announce so, but he catches your forearm to pull you back. Though you’re tense, his arms embrace you. As if a simple hug could fix everything wrong with the situation. As if you weren’t boiling inside. As if his silence wasn’t more hurtful than the possible words.

BEOMGYU

The bubbles of excitement, and how they keep you feeling light. Catching your own smile in a mirror. Lacking certainty when picking your clothes. Smelling yourself just to make sure. Looking at your phone in case he left a message. Checking your teeth before leaving. Smiling at your own need for speed, because you may see Beomgyu a little bit quicker. Looking at the passersby in hope of meeting his humored gaze. Hearing a snicker before turning to see him. Finally.

Grinning like an idiot, at least so you tell yourself. Through the timelessness of Beomgyu’s teasing, he has never once said so about your smiles. But you do feel like it’s the best way to describe it - idiotic. Because how come you’re reacting so strongly to something as natural as Beomgyu’s side profile? Just a look at him and you’re all smiles. How come just a brief meeting of your hands has your skin sweating, and you’re stuck between the embarrassment of sudden intimacy as well as the need to close the useless distance.

The darkness. You can barely make out his features, though he’s centimetres away. A ray of light places a face-long scar on his right cheek. Beomgyu pulls the zipper down to erase it. Now it’s completely black. The edges of his face are just memories your brain puts in front of you. He giggles, breath blowing at your lips. A small piece of nowhere you can forget yourself in. Beomgyu’s fingers return to your awaiting hand, though it’s happening outside the bubble of hoods zipped together. Inside, your mouth meets another in a toast to the small kingdom of obliviousness.

Pulling duvet over your head at night. Biting on your knuckles. Curling toes. You try everything to stop yourself from making noise, although the need for laughter has your throat itching. With wide eyes staring at the light screen of your phone, you type down a quick response. Thumb hesitates before pressing the send button. You reread the answer, anxious to make it as funny as possible. As soon as the cloud of text changes colors, a small icon of Beomgyu’s head appears next to it

Biting your lips to keep them from opening. You don’t want them to tremble, or release hurtful words. The stiff silence is a stark contrast to Beomgyu's loud words of pure annoyance. At that moment you feel like crawling beneath the ground to lie there for eternity. He wouldn’t notice. You’re facing his back as he continues counting down all the little sins that have brought you to the point of (what seems like) no return - the hell on Earth, where Beomgyu’s face is no longer illuminated by his branded mischevious smile.

TAEHYUN

The whoosh of wind as you swing forward. Its cold kisses being placed on the shells of your ears. Fingers sliding down the chains, the metallic smell mixing with your palms’ sweat. Another hand closing on yours to stop the swing. Cringing at the weak jerk the sudden ending causes. Taehyun’s small smile, such a natural sight for your eyes. A duet of ice cones locked in the hold of his other hand. The feeling of freezing cold on your chin when he swipes the ice against it. His laughter that follows.

The words of affection you didn’t know you needed. They’re said in the company of a sincere gaze and although it’s overpowering, you hold it. Arms circle around you, gentle and slow. It’s as if you were a young deer that could escape him any moment. But you’re not. Though tortured, with sadness hidden in the depths of your chest, you want the comfort to overtake you. You want him to be the reason everything is worth it, because what is life without reason?

Surprising him and the excitement that overtakes you, seconds before he jumps in place, then screams. Taehyun looks annoyed. No wonder, you expect as much. His cheeks are squished. Endearment you’re feeling for the boy has you drowning in warmth. Though Taehyun is gently pushing you away, both of you know he doesn’t mean it in the slightest. Childish giggling accompanies your playfight, because that’s how you feel around him - free and fresh, like a child.

Hiding behind hands when you’re laughing. Though the humor has overtaken you, the insecurity hasn’t. Fingers dig into the skin of your cheeks as the spasms of laughter raise in strength. Taehyun’s shaking in his spot as well, but he takes a moment to reach forward. The fingers are pulled away and to your sides, now interlaced with his. Even if you want to turn away, you have nowhere to escape. Not as long as he has the hold on your hands, therefore, a hold on you.

His chin held up high, eyes cold, lips twisted. Though just a second ago you missed him to pieces, now that he’s close, you wish to be as far away from him as possible. You’re not used to that cold version of Taehyun, even if you’re aware of its existence. The lack of clear answers he has to your questions is unnerving. You know he’s waiting for an apology, but you don’t want to give him one. The argument was mutual, and you’re just as hurt by its aftermath. It will take you a while to heal the wounds caused by stabbing words.

HUENING KAI

A chaotic collection of scenes being played on the TV. You cannot figure out the plot, but you do not care much for it. The author won’t know of your small offence anyways. What you’re paying attention to, is the sound of calm breathing. It comes from a face leaning against the top of your head. You can feel the softness of a cheek splayed against your own skin. The shoulder you’re using as a pillow raises along with Kai’s deep breaths. His left hand lies on your thigh, motionless. Fingers twitch every time the volume raises.

Running down a road in the evening. Kai’s hand is secured in your grip, the sound of his irregular breathing mixes with yours. The streetlights cast shadows you pass on the way. Thunder resonates in the background. Small droplets of rain start their descent from the sky. Quite a few land on your head. Before you can make it to the bus stop, the rain turns heavy. Kai pulls you underneath the stop’s roof. You’re standing chest to chest, completely soaked, watching the wall of rain you’re no longer the victim of.

The weight of a heavy arm on your shoulders. It’s warmth spreads through the back of your neck, keeping you safe from the oh so dangerous room temperature. With head empty, you stare at nothing in particular. The conversation Kai is having with his friend doesn’t reach your ears though you’re practically glued to the boy’s side. Somehow having him close makes you forget all about the rest, whatever it may be. Plush on your forehead. You realize it’s a kiss from Kai. Though he doesn’t look at you, s smile blossoms on your features.

Holding onto the corner of his jacket. Kai doesn’t comment your bad mood, but you see the acknowledgement written on his face. There’s a small sympathetic smile that turns teasing every now and then. Kai doesn’t grab your hands, instead waits for you to make the first move. The fact has your eyes saddened. It’s unfair how well he can sync with your emotions. Like he’s a guardian angel of sorts. Kai sends you another smile over his shoulder, but moved, you do not return it.

The infuriating lack of response. You talk, voice raised, knuckles white, and he’s turned away from you, lips closed, back tense. Though you grab his hand, he instantly pulls it free. When you try to stand in front of him, he just turns away. No eye contact, no direct words. He’s infuriating, raising the temperature of your boiling blood. You’ve had enough of yourself and you want him to talk back, but he won’t. No matter how much steam raises from your head, he won’t answer.

➛ pollenat’s list of headcanons

➛ pollenat’s list of shorts

➛ pollenat’s list of scenarios