#i'm going to be so insufferable btw. you guys don't even realize

[fromjannah]

batman unburied riddler is literally coming home to me in less than two weeks. mere days until i hear that little freak again. did you guys hear about this

[frederickkatz]

Texts: Sparky (Cameron) & Freddie

@cameronslaw

Cam:  you know, I never thought I'd be jealous of an orange

Freddie: why would you be jealous of an orange?

Freddie: who is this btw?

Cam:  you're not gonna "new phone who dis" me, are you?

Cam:  I'm your favorite suicidal fae 😉

Cam:  and I'm jealous of an orange bc I also wanna be peeled by you of course 😉

Freddie: technically it is a new phone because I've just had it for a few months but still.

Freddie: Sparky! How's the training going?

Freddie: 😲 you want me to peel off your skin? Wow you're sick my friend

Cam:  ...sparky?

Cam:  that's a dog's name

Cam:  ... what

Cam:  I'm saying I want you to peel off MY CLOTHES

Cam:  damn you really didn't get the hang of the thirst trap thing, did ya? 🤣

Freddie: I couldn't remember your name so I named you Sparky 😉

Freddie: oh! Ok ok ok you're flirting!

Freddie: I think I did it right cause you and others reached out really fast

Cam:  it's three letters, come on

Cam:  is that so? and what did the others say?

Freddie: is it Ben?

Freddie: some didn't say much but they send a picture. Some asked me out, some encouraged me to wear less clothes next time 🤷🏻‍♂️

Cam:  you're insufferable

Cam:  and are you?

Freddie: oh no! Wait! You're Leo

Freddie: going out tonight? Absolutely!

Cam:  I'm A leo, that's not my name!

Cam:  Ooh that sounds fun. No work tonight then?

Cam:  Are you going out with one of them?

Freddie: really? When's your birthday?

Freddie: it's my night off.

Freddie: not exactly with any of them. I'll just go out to drink and dance a little bit

Cam:  aug 12th

Cam:  didn't peg you for the astrology type 🤔

Cam:  welp if you're feeling lonely and you happen to pass by the east side, I'm at the Way Down

Cam:  they have THE BEST spn booze in town

Freddie: interesting

Freddie: I'm not. Just wanted to see if you gave information out so easily 😆

Freddie: you obviously haven't been at Dark Night. It's run by supernaturals so everything there accommodate us really well

Freddie: you're partying already?

Cam:  you're INSUFFERABLE

Cam:  dark night? where is that?

Cam:  partying is a strong word

Cam:  I'm just having a drink 👼

Cam:  but I'd be down to party

Freddie: 😊

Freddie: right downtown

Freddie: what's the fun on only drinking? I've never got it

Freddie: do you even dance or just drink to oblivion?

Cam:  to feel the buzz

Cam:  that's why it's called booze

Cam:  do I even dance

Cam:  DO I EVEN DANCE

Cam:  how dare you

Cam:  of course I dance

Freddie: ok but we already need a lot to feel the buzz. Even with spiked drinks

Freddie: like footloose kind of dance or just swaying from one side to the other while holding your drink in one hand?

Cam:  then you just haven't drunk enough

Cam:  drank

Cam:  drunk?

Cam:  so you know what fucking FOOTLOOSE is but you don't get thirst trap?

Freddie: you do realize I was alive when alcohol was discovered/invented right?

Freddie: I've been all kinds of drunk but sometimes that kills the fun

Freddie: wow! You're already smashed

Freddie: who doesn't know footloose! It's a classic!

Cam:  shut up

Cam:  now I can't not picture you as this black smoke hovering over a couch with footloose on the tv

Cam:  it's ridiculous

Cam:  it has no right to be that fun

Freddie: you really are drunk

Freddie: just so you know I've never been black smoke

Freddie: can you even walk to go back to your place?

Cam:  I'm not drunk

Cam:  you're just untankable

Cam:  did you pick another color for the smoke? Is it purple?

Cam:  you seem like a purple kinda guy

Cam:  I said I'm not drunk!

Cam:  and I'm not going home now

Cam:  I'm going out dancing

Freddie: you're not even making sense Sparky

Freddie: I've never been smoke. Why do you think I can be smoke?

Freddie: I bet you can't even walk straight

Cam:  I'm not sparky

Cam:  and I'm making perfect sense, you just don't get it

Cam:  well weren't you incorporeal?

Cam:  uncorporeal?

Cam:  NOT HAVE BODY??

Cam:  I'm not straight so that's right 😉

Cam:  and I can walk just fine

Cam:  but it's cute that you worry ❤️

Freddie: well you're right about that. I don't get it. I don't get you.

Freddie: non-corporeal. But I've had this body for a little over a hundred years

Freddie: of course you're not. I could tell

Freddie: I really don't. I just made a bet that you can't walk without stumbling

Cam:  it's fine, I don't get me sometimes either

Cam:  but alcohol is older than a hundred years

Cam:  which means you didn't have a body when it was invented

Cam:  WHICH MEANS I CAUGHT YOU IN A LIE, MISTER

Cam:  oh could you now? I wonder what gave it away

Cam:  OUCH

Cam:  that's mean

Cam:  and you'll lose bc I can walk just fine

Cam:  :p

Freddie: you're weirder than I thought

Freddie: this hasn't been my only vessel

Freddie: I had another body. I've had many bodies. This is the first male one though

Freddie: you made a sexual innuendo when we first met. Maybe it was that

Freddie: if you say so

Cam:  thanks?

Cam:  wait you were girls before?

Cam:  I'm in shock

Cam:  and full of questions

Cam:  and you'll never know if I can walk straight or not so sorry you lost that bet

Freddie: It wasn't a compliment but you're welcome?

Freddie: they're prettier and less feared. It worked for me to deceive humans

Freddie: why is it so shocking?

Freddie: ask away. I still have some time before leaving

Freddie: I could always just appear there and make sure just to win

Cam:  insufferable, I tell ya

Cam:  I forget you're an evil mastermind

Cam:  you sound like a purple person not a "I want boobs" person, that's all

Cam:  did you get to have sex when you were in a girl's body?

Cam:  what were you called then?

Cam:  nope you couldn't bc you're going dancing and you don't know where I am

Freddie: thank you 😘

Freddie: most people forget. It's the beauty of the vessels

Freddie: well the vessel included those so it wasn't a what I wanted kind of things

Freddie: yes

Freddie: I had many names

Freddie: you told me where you were at dummy

Cam:  it wasn't a compliment but welcome?

Cam:  :p

Cam:  oh so the boobs were just perks? lol

Cam:  oooh and which one was better?

Cam:  that's not an answer >.<

Cam:  if you don't tell me I'm just gonna call you Betsy

Cam:  and why do you think I'm still there? 😈

Freddie: 🙄

Freddie: definitely. They aren't so fun when you're the one wearing them though

Freddie: both are good. I liked sleeping with men when I was a woman and in enjoying sleeping with women now

Freddie: It is. I can tell you some names if that's what you want

Freddie: I was named Bethel once so it's ok

Freddie: because you said so

Cam:  😗

Cam:  bc they bounce?

Cam:  what about sleeping with a man while you're in the skin of one?

Cam:  Bethel

Cam:  oh god

Cam:  who named you???

Cam:  I'd love to hear some names, yes

Cam:  well I'm no longer there anymore so :p

Freddie: because they're heavy and now I'm a male I realized they made my back hurt

Freddie: I haven't tried it yet

Freddie: It was the name of the vessel

Freddie: Ida, Gladys, Marjorie and a few more but why are you even interested on those names?

Freddie: I could always track your phone

Cam:  wait

Cam:  you haven't tried it?

Cam:  but

Cam:  but aren't you like old as shit????

Cam:  and you never felt like it?

Cam:  just to see what it's like?

Cam:  as if you could track my phone lol good luck grandpa

Freddie: did you miss the part where I said this is my first male vessel?

Freddie: I just haven't found a male who I feel attracted enough to have sex with him. Well I've had sex but not penetrative sex. Oral sex counts right?

Freddie: it's funny how you think that just because I don't understand some modern concepts I'm unfit to quickly learn about the technology 😊

Cam:  fair point but still

Cam:  how long did you have this vessel for?

Cam:  ...oh Freddie someone's gonna rock your world if you think oral sex counts when you're talking about MLM sex

Cam:  there's a difference between learning about technology and fucking hacking into my phone

Cam:  you could just ask where I am, you know

Freddie: almost two hundred years, give or take. I lost count

Freddie: it's called oral sex for a reason 🙄 I suppose but for that I would have to find someone I want to have sex with

Freddie: you know there are apps to track people's phones right? I don't need to hack yours. And you call me grandpa?

Freddie: didn't you said earlier you wouldn't tell me?

Cam:  yeah but that's nothing compared to the wonders of the prostate, man

Cam:  you're really missing out

Cam:  and there's apps to find hook ups too

Cam:  yeah, but you could always ask 🌝

Freddie: you do know women can have multiple orgasm and men can't, right? You're missing out

Freddie: I know. I've been using a few

Freddie: fine. Where are you Sparky?

Cam:  yeah but I can't have sex like a woman and you totally can have sex with a man rn

Cam:  so you're the one missing out

Cam:  wait and you didn't get a decent hookup?

Cam:  I'm at Dark Night (:

Freddie: I can also jump from a building but I don't want to

Freddie: why are you so interested on my sex experience with men?

Freddie: oh wait! The flirting was serious! You want to have sex with me 😏

Freddie: I had a lot. But they were all women. Men can be assholes sometimes

Freddie: of course you are. I'm wondering who's the one with persuasive power now 😆

Cam:  yeah but you could

Cam:  bc I have the feeling that being a bottom as a man is better than as a woman and not many people can actually test that

Cam:  lmao you only figured that out NOW?? of course I do, have you LOOKED in the mirror???

Cam:  shut up, I wanted to try the booze, that's all

Cam:  their mojito is shit btw

Freddie: isn't sex supposed to be awesome for both men and women?

Freddie: well I thought you were joking! Or you just like to flirt. Yes, and I know I'm very attractive in this vessel. Everyone seems to like it.

Freddie: sure, if you say so

Freddie: lol that's on you for ordering such a bland drink

Cam:  yeah but you're not following

Cam:  it's different

Cam:  it's so much easier to show than to explain

Cam:  I do like to flirt

Cam:  but I also like to fuck

Cam:  so you know, if you're ever interested, you APPARENTLY know where to find me

Cam:  it's usually a good thermometer for bars, it's bland but hard to fuck up

Cam:  which they apparently tried really hard to

Freddie: what's the point I'm missing then?

Freddie: now you want to show me?

Freddie: so you want to fuck me to prove your point? What if I decided I rather fuck you?

Freddie: you already knew I was gonna be there

Freddie: try the fireball. No pun intended 😆

Cam:  I mean that's cool

Cam:  but you're gonna be missing out THE WHOLE POINT

Cam:  yeah but you think you can hack my phone so

Cam:  which btw is a federal crime

Cam:  ...you think you're so funny

Freddie: so you're up for topping and bottoming with me?

Freddie: you're making it sound like topping isn't that great

Freddie: I never said I was gonna hack your phone 😆

Freddie: I wasn't trying to be. It comes out naturally. But really, try that drink

Cam:  is that so shocking?

Cam:  lol it is, but it's something that women can't really do so it doesn't work for research purposes

Cam:  you're insufferable

[5min later]

Cam:  that's not so bad

Cam:  but I'll be breathing out cinnamon for the rest of the week

Freddie: it's new. Most men who want to have sex with me are not willing to bottom

Freddie: if I was on a research mission of course

Freddie: do you complain about everything?

Freddie: cause if you, I'll make sure to stay away from the bar all night

Cam:  times have changed, buddy

Cam:  of course

Cam:  I don't complain, I just have arguments about things

Cam:  you're coming?

Freddie: Those men are from this century actually

Freddie: All things or just things that don't go your way?

Freddie: I'm already here. Look across the dancing floor

Cam:  then you're hanging out around the wrong kind of men

Cam:  well

Freddie: I'm not even looking for them so it's not really my fault

Freddie: now I wanna see you walk all the way here to win that bet 😘