#i'm going to tag it while apologizing ffhhfeu

[ploffskinpluffskin]

i may never have the actual courage to put myself Out There and post this particular story where anyone can see it (aka ao3 hhh) but it did make me smile while writing it

The problem, Natori had long concluded, was that Claudius was not handsome. Had he been even the slightest bit charming, or dashing, or even just relatively well-groomed, then perhaps Natori’s stubborn fondness for the cat might have been easy to explain away as mere infatuation. Certainly it would have left him feeling about as frivolous as a lovelorn schoolgirl, but it at least would not be some frustrating, unexplainable mystery.

Today the lavender-coated cat comes sauntering into the dusty church with a large, wolfish grin, stopping before Natori where he is counting their paltry collection of coins only so he can lean smugly against the doorway and wait. Natori eyes him with as much preemptive exasperation as he can muster (...which isn’t much, much to his own private dismay), and excuses his helper (who, also much to his private despair, regards the pair of them with a look that reads as unreasonably knowing). 

“Toldja I’d come back, babe,” Claudius says when they’re left alone.

“No,” Natori begins sharply, nearly interrupting him. “You told me specifically you were not coming back last time. I remember quite vividly.”

“Bahh, I was just mad. You know I can’t stay away from my favorite bump in the road.” Here Claudius moves closer, paying no mind to Natori’s own prim body language, slipping an arm across the other cat’s shoulders and pulling him close with a light hip check. “I’d get too sad.”

“Well, we can’t have that, I suppose.”

“Nope.”

“And I suppose this new wanted poster I’ve seen around has nothing to do with your impromptu arrival. Just a coincidence that you come back to where you can claim sanctuary just as you’re running from the bureau again?”

“Aw, babe, you’re killin’ me. I’m all genuine, promise.”

“Hm. And just what did you do this time to have their dubious attention?”

Here the other cat leans back, evidently finding the wall a better support for this particular position.

“Eh. You know.”

“I don’t.”

“Well, it’s not important.” Spoken hastily, in an all too telling fashion which Claudius doesn’t appear to recognize as such.

“No?” Natori looks up to fix his smug guest with an eyebrow raised over the flattest gaze he can currently manage, and he must manage it rather well since Claudius responds to it by fidgeting with his paws before he seems to realize what he’s doing. “I would never have imagined you as the type to ever say no to a rousing story.”

Most likely appearing more confident and nonchalant than he feels, Natori leans forward against the table he’d been previously counting coins upon, settling his chin against the butt of his paw.

“What inconceivably humiliating mishap must have occurred, I wonder, to make you reluctant to indulge in a little tall tale.”

Claudius huffs, glaring stormily at the paw he’s currently drawing circles on. 

“Sure doing your damnedest to make me regret coming back, babe,” he eventually grumbles under his breath testily. Here Natori finally smiles at him, cool but undeniably affectionate, despite himself.

“You say the same thing every time, and yet here you are.”

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” Claudius sulks.

“That you might loiter here for reasons other than my use as a bump in the road? Never.”

“Good. Glad we're all copacetic on the matter,” Claudius responds first briskly. At least before he adds moments later, almost mopily, “... the view isn't bad either.”

A long silence passes between them after that, Natori abruptly aware of how he is stretched across the table and wondering furiously to himself whether Claudius’ words were intended to be read as an innuendo. The other cat doesn’t leave him long to wonder— padding over, leaning forward so that they’re nearly nose to nose, and all with a wide, suggestive grin plastered upon his face.

“I think you’re happier to see me than I am to see you, babe. I can tell.”

Not that long ago, Natori would have felt quite scandalized by that. He would have recoiled, bitten off some panicked, impulsive denial, and Claudius would have been left nursing a massively bruised ego. They might even have argued bitterly, to the point that Natori might be left wondering if the other would ever return. 

Here, now, still at least patently unsure what to say, how to say it, he manages only a soft amusement, a slightly crooked look of knowing concession. And the effect must be rather novel, as Claudius remains in his spot as if mesmerized for a fleeting moment, and then hastily pushes himself back up again. Natori is not quite so eager to return to propriety, and is even bold enough to take a moment to stretch before straightening. There’s a mute warmth which has settled in his chest, a familiar comfort he’s in no hurry to analyze or dislodge.

“You haven’t had a meal in a while, have you.” It’s not a question. Claudius’ sheepish hemming and hawing is answer enough. Whatever he tries to say This is about in an attempt to seem the suave, rakish charmer he very much isn’t, Natori knows it ultimately comes down to the food.

It’s as they’re moving further into the church, Claudius quite uncharacteristically trailing behind in a dutiful manner, that the fluffier of the two tries, “Warmed up to me pretty quick this time, you know, babe,” in an attempt to salvage that aforementioned pretense. “I didn’t get you into some trouble last time, did I?”

Natori snorts, not turning around, not otherwise explaining himself, and responds idly, “Stranger things have happened.”