#i'm gonna probably write up a postmortem about how i feel about the whole thing what i think needs to be changed and stuff

[abronzeagegod]

ETS WIP Chapter 16: End Script

[first]|[more]

As the last of the worms was killed and banished into their home plane, the last person that Lyta wanted to see was Ji.

"I was surprised you chose me of all people," the thin, but stupidly hot, Exterminator said.

"Yeah, well," Lyta said without thinking, she felt like she had to response and the filler words were the first thing she spoke into existence. She was still trying to reign back her anger, to keep it under control and not say something stupid or mean or callous. Now was not the time. She took a breath. "You're an asshole but you're still one of the best Exterminators we have so it wasn't really even a question. Besides I still know your employee ID number so it was easier for me to look you up."

Not entirely without anger, but sometimes it just is like that.

Ji shrugged. "Well, I never got to see you really fight like that so... if you ever want to transfer over to the Exterminators give me a call. We could go for a drink or something."

Lyta briefly caught Aeth's eye from across the hallowed field of servers and graveyard of worms and phones.

"I'm good where I'm at."

Aeth, meanwhile, was being interrogated, or rather very harshly questioned, by two members of the Catalog and Archive Bureau.

"You unleashed a god upon tech support," said the one that was not tall. "You stole an unrestrained small god that was supposed to be closely monitored and let it loose within one of the most complex systems in the world."

"Yes," Aeth said. "It was necessary."

"We will be the judges of that," said the one that was not short. "This is going to have ramifications."

Aeth nodded. "And letting the Abyss go unchecked would have been much worse. A thing that you were supposed to deal with, but were... indisposed."

Lyta had walked over by this point and cut off the agent that was about to speak, "Not to mention your Bureau is responsible for letting a sentient nightmare out that almost consumed my friend whole. So should you really be casting blame."

The one who was not tall sputtered a little bit before he answered. "We were not informed."

"Oh, funny that. You can go clean up the corpse of 3812-B in my friend's apartment. When you figured out how the thing that was supposed to be monitored 24/7 managed to get out, almost complete the goal for which it spawned, and you still didn't know about it, then we can discuss the ramifications of the thing that saved us all."

"You'll be hearing from us," the one that was not short said angrily.

"I'm sure we will," Lyta snapped back. "But until then fuck off back to the file cabinet."

Aeth heaved a sigh of relief as the agents stomped away. "Thanks. For everything."

Lyta smiled up at Aeth. A warm, but tired smile. "Any time. Can we get out of here? I need a shower, food, and probably a call to a repairman and my landlord to fix my apartment."

"Before you go," came a voice from one of the servers. Out of an unused port, came the representation of the new God of Tech Support.

"What can we do for you?" Aeth asked.

"I owe you two more than I can say," Sir Lance Corporal said. "I am now more than I ever was. I feel like I am myself and I have a purpose. I thank you humbly for your efforts in this event. I hope we shall work together again soon."

The pair just nodded.

Then, just in Aeth's mind, came the voice of the god, "Thank you for your faith, as well. It sustains me and gives me the strength to continue."

Aeth nodded and replied in prayer. "It was nothing. Easy to believe in something good. I'm sure Lyta feels the same."

There was a soft sound of a server next to Aeth that sounded almost like a chuckle.

"Lyta does not, and that is fine. She believes so much, in you. That is enough for me, I hope it is enough for you."

Aeth wasn't entirely sure how to respond.

"Go, get some rest you two. There will be work to be done when you return," the god of tech support said.

"Ok, thanks," Lyta said. She turned to Aeth. "I have an idea, it may be a dumb one, but it's all I've got right now. Let's get a hotel room, shower, give our clothes to the pros to clean, eat some room service while we hang out in fluffy robes, and then just... sleep."

"It sounds great."

"My apartment is probably covered in like three inches of snow melt."

"And I'm sure the Catalog people are combing over my place looking for 3812-B."

"Which will be easy to find, right?"

"I hope so."

As the pair walked off, somewhat hesitantly, Aeth put their arm around Lyta's shoulder. Lyta immediately warmed to the touch and moved closer to them.

Sir Lance Corporal made sure to tell the hotel to only offer them rooms with a single bed.

if you liked these maybe considering leaving me a tip on kofi

[abronzeagegod]

ETS WIP Postmortem

Well I'm counting this whole thing as a book, so that means I started writing and finished writing two books in one year which is fucking mind bottling.

Usually i never post first drafts of things out in the world because usually they are borderline unreadable and this was a weird thing that i didn't even finish before i started posting.

anyways time for some things i like and don't like

like:

i really like all the characters, aeth and lyta are really fun and i like writing them and their silly little relationship

sir lance corporal is really fun too a big weird god that gets into stuff

i like the world but its a world that i've used in a bunch of different places so it'll continue to show up, i'll name it one day

i personally like the evil all consuming parasite worm god and the evil algorithm thing

dislike:

it's way too short and i definitely skim over some stuff and do not go into nearly enough detail in places

namely: aeth falling into the war between the abyss and the hells did not get the time and attention it deserved

3812-B didn't get the time and attention it deserved

sir lance corporal's place in the story changed some what suddenly so the establishing of that whole thing is wiggity wack

i changed the stupid page break/jumps like seven times, never committed, and eventually dropped it so that's got to go

the fact that i don't really name anyone aside from the main's with any consistency

i'll likely be giving this whole thing a rest for a few weeks likely, and then i'll be starting on draft 2

what to expect with this going forward

more, i'm going to have to expand just about every bit of this story, more chapters more words more stuff, especially more in the middle, we need stuff to expand and slow down the mystery and the solving and the general chaos so that the tension can really start to rise i think

more focus on the swwarm as evil algorithm not necessarily the app itself, idk i know this is a straight up tiktok as radicalization tool metaphor but i'm not super happy with how it went so that's gotta be worked on

gonna make aeth and lyta's mutual pining up to like 12 and really be dumb with it, because i can and it's my story and i want to

probably have more of but the Catalog and Archive Bureau and the Exterminators but idk how much more

3812-B needs so much more like an infinitely large amount of stuff, just kind of rushed through the whole thing the first time and there needs to be more

more magic

more tech support, possibly with a bit more supporting cast work but i've never been good with big casts (for proof look through the false idols drafts, several drafts had a cast of like 9-12 and then i killed them all off because i couldn't keep them straight)

cover art, once i let this rest and then do a big old rewrite i plan on getting a cover commissioned (because who doesn't love art???)

once the cover is done i'll probably do a self publish job on itch.io and just sell it for a couple dollars

overall i feel like this was good, i had fun doing it, and it can be so much better. but like with everything i write that i do multiple drafts of, i need to let this one sit for a bit. i'm gonna go off and do some work on a one person videogame project i've tried a couple of times and we'll see how rpgmaker and i get along.

my ask box is open as are messages if you want to leave me any comments or criticism or whatever. replies on tumblr posts are always a bit weird to read and respond to