#i'm keeping weird hours atm and none of my friends are up lol

[seacollectsrivers]

i just found out that the national ID cards we’ve been promised for about 20 years (it feels like) are available now, but they cost 570kr (~$62, €54). for some reason i expected them to be free, or near it? i don’t have 570kr right now, and for the foreseeable future i won’t after paying rent and buying food. very cool.

[keenregine]

ZeroProofReading

Turns out, that 'weird phenomenon' I was referring to, was an actual worldwide chaos. The system was down for about 8 hours, no Facebook, WhatsApp and Instagram. iMessage was somehow useful but also failing. In all honesty, I was kinda hoping it will be abolished forever because social media these days is ridiculously toxic. And it's not depending on how you handle it, whether controlled or not we all have these reflex to scroll through and through, watch videos after the next and the next and it's really time consuming. Many times I find myself glued to my phone, then in one instant I would snap and realize I'm wasting seconds, even hours of my life, for nothing. I'm trying to create ways on how to avoid seeing impurities without deactivating my account, although soon I will, for sure.

Previously. . . on my blabbering episode one. After I got the visa, I have approximately three weeks before my actual flight. I have this superstitious ideals where I try to keep my future travel plans to myself as much as possible. If necessary, only few people will know, better none. Reason? I don't owe anyone an explanation or giving the act of sharing my plans. My family of course they have to know, I even told them last minute where everything was finally settled and also I'm a firm believer of the word 'jinx'. Let's say due to your extreme excitement and happiness, you keep on telling people that you're going to this or that place. Unexpectedly, some random circumstance came preventing you to go or worse a cancelled trip. I can't afford that kind of embarrassment, I want that thrill of surprise, a mystery.

This is the part where I unveil all mystery, lol. I'm a 100% overthinker head to toe, worrying about something that isn't happening yet. Pessimistic on a time was ahead of me. I bought my ticket bound to Madrid online, the hospital travel agency was no use because I need to add a sum of 2800sar for a return ticket which was way too expensive that I'd rather buy my own. So I went ahead and did just that, regrettably I spent double but I have no other option. Every now and then I have a long list of things to worry about night and day. For example, I booked my ticket a day prior my visa validity, my inner senses told me that I'll just stay at the airport hotel until the next day it became valid. 'My Madrid friend' Alex (let's call him that for now) reassured me that's it's okay, they might let me pass considering it's only one day early, I am so afraid of public humiliation I didn't dare to risk that, but being a full blooded stubborn that I am, I still followed my instincts. Few days went, I was brushing my teeth before going to sleep then suddenly as if a lightning striked me. What would then happen to my check-in luggage while I'm a the hotel? Circling endlessly on the belt waiting to be picked up? That was my deciding factor to change my flight date to a more hassle-free situation. I had to pay yet again another extra for the changing, next flight available? after a week. So get this, I have a waiting time of one week before I can fly due to my carelessness. I deserve that. Or maybe it's for some good cause?

Every single day of that 'free week' I had to go to the hospital to arrange some important things. Gathering unfinished documents, exit-re entry visa etc. Until one day, right after I went home from the hospital, I receive an SMS from the bank saying an amount of $750 was charged on my account from some company. I researched and it's an online english school that I didn't know about, I immediately called the hotline to entirely close my account. I went to the branch to get myself a new ATM, went to the counter to report the incident and as expected they were no help at all. They instructed me to go to the nearby police to make an official statement regarding the stolen money then back to them for a '10 business days' settlement, no reassurance whatsoever if my money will be returned. I was devastated, the amount was no joke. My budget for the trip was depleted, I didn't know what to do. I just focused my mind on the bright side that what if it happened while I was already in Spain, then the more it will not be resolved. My account might be entirely hacked by that person and I'll be continuously losing money that I end up homeless, those kind of things. I was starting to get desperate and I came into a conclusion to send an email directly to that online english school. Luckily they responded, they were considerate enough and felt sorry for what happened. Of course they couldn't disclose the person/suspect, I didn't care anymore. I gave my details for proof, then God-send these people they return back my money thru Paypal (since my bank account was blocked online). But still, I was more than thankful, I could almost cry for the second time.

What would I choose for a place to stay? A whole month of hotel stay is too expensive, same goes with an Airbnb but maybe I can squeeze myself into those rented rooms, for a moderate price? no way. Facebook groups are so popular these days, I went ahead and check those and gladly there is one existing. Alex was actually offering me to stay at their home but I'm too shy, shy to be a bothersome, a disturbance. Because I need time to just lay around doing nothing, for sure I will be ashamed if I do that around the house, but mainly for the shy reason, so I had to decline the offer. There are tons who responded on my inquiries regarding my stay, all of them were of course Filipino. Deep inside I'm afraid to be too far away from that one person I knew in an unfamiliar place I would be staying at. I chose the closest within Alex's house which he knew and approved and most importantly the cheapest. Majority from the response I got has a similar speculation for the reason of my stay, to become an illegal alien. Felt like in a movie for a moment, they were expecting I would stay for good, get a job (not as a nurse) and achieve that dream of Spaniard residency and then eventually citizenship. Hmm, not bad. For sure my mom will kill me considering that idea. lol. A place to stay. Check.

Two days prior my flight, if it wasn't for this stupid pandemic I wouldn't need to take a Covid swab. But heck, it's a requirement what else is there to do. Like an old-school parent, I printed my documents in paper form just to make sure, and in colored no less *traumatized past. Good thing it was negative, then finally came Day 0. Cuz I'm leaving on a jet plane, I don't know when I'll be back again. Oh babe, I'd love to go. lols. I intentionally chose a flight where the layover is in Heathrow, for no reason. I also discovered that I have moved on from that last heck of a flight I had from Paris, so far everything was smooth, can't wait any longer. I landed in Madrid about noon time and as we both agreed Alex picked me up from the airport.

I knew doing this at work would not be efficient, my thought process interrupted repeatedly, my mind distracted. This is long enough for today I think. Therefore, I'll continue this next time.