#i'm literally holding so much back lmao like i didn't even touch on Will's response and manipulation of that behavior

[ghostforwhat]

when you’re off of work would you please elaborate on your hannibal service top agenda,,, please my family is starving

i don’t want anyone to starve so obviously I will extrapolate on the service top aspect of Hannibal Lecter o7!! I am going to get so carried away and I apologize in advance.

Alright going to start this off by saying I do think they’re vers but only in regards to each other, I think for canon relationships, Will has a tendency to allow himself to be directed while Hannibal loves to orchestrate. With each other, though, it grows increasingly and alluringly complicated. Arguments could be made and subsequently thrown out depending on what part of the show you’re watching and post fall is an entire free-for-all because you can’t tell me two grown men survive murder-suicide via cliff and then settle into the puritanical rigidity of who tops and who bottoms.

Okay that being said, honestly i could make the case that both of them lean more toward making sure whoever they’re with is getting the most out of the encounter (maybe for different reasons; the popular trope of Will’s empathy causing a sort of blissful feedback loop and in Hannibal’s case, it stands to reason the politeness overlaps with a challenging sort of hedonism, he’s in control and playful about it) but I think that specifically for Hannibal, Will’s reactions are what he’s constantly seeking and then hoarding. Like. Will responding to stimuli that Hannibal presents is basically the premise of the show and Hannibal very clearly gets off on that, maybe not anywhere explicitly but we see shots of his pupils dilating, his gaze always caught on Will, licking his lips, all in response to Will reacting to him. It’s very rare he’s outright hungry at the beginning of a conversation or interaction, he seems to maintain a sense of aloofness until Will snarks or baits or replies or even defers and then, it’s as though he’s desperate to see more. I'm not getting into the whole them eating meals together because I'll devolve very quickly but like. just keep in mind the way Hannibal watches Will eat, as though he savors Will instead of the meal he cooked. Right. Okay. He gets caught up in Will’s responses very quickly, enraptured and almost stupid about it and trying to immediately trigger more which!! Goes hand and hand with him doing very uh lets say unique acts of service (the malewife jokes are only half jokes); the breakfasts & dinners, the driving, the caretaking. Yes all that’s manipulative but to Hannibal, that doesn’t negate that it’s still getting him the responses he wants and that’s also maybe why he’s so quick to say they’re friends because he’s viewing it as a form of relationship building and quite frankly, that is the only way that man knows how to build relationships; he sets himself up as a crutch and then breaks your leg and unfortunately at that point, for Will, for Jack, for Abigail, for Bedelia, for Chiyoh, you are too grateful to be standing that you forget he’s the reason you can’t do it on your own. The others I mentioned learn either very quickly or very (in painful irony) rudely that he is only a crutch as long as he enjoys it, as long as he can benefit from holding you aloft.

However. In Will’s case, he tries to remove himself and finds that it’s him who can’t stand and he’s immediately resentful and desperate to take back that ability, leaving another gift, another act of service, for Will to prove that he can still provide it and detrimentally putting himself on the map for Jack and Mason in the process. He’s so eager to have Will’s response, he waits at his own fucking crime scene. Will gives him what he wants and he’s too overwhelmed to respond with any sort of power or immediate selfishness, he runs again. And then. Muskrat Farms and his surrender. I feel like I don’t even need to explain why that backs up my case here, that man is so so ready to rescue and then surrender all because Will’s involved; two things he’s never done in his entire life, they essentially reduce him to this almost pathetic thing and it doesn’t give him pause at all because again, they’re acts of service whether Will wants them at that point or not. Like Bedelia said it best, he’s obsessed, he wants every reaction, every word, every sigh and curse, he’s very single-minded about getting them and he doesn’t care who he has to hurt, himself or others, to get them. Now, combine all that and the cliff scene and tell me that man doesn’t spend every second they’re in a bed together completely and utterly focused on Will and Will alone.

[kosmiccarma]

jjk season 2 episode 5 spoilers! my heart hurts. read more below

I'm just gonna keep these as a bullet list bc I'm too tired to write out paragraphs apologies ahead of time for the eye strain - okay taking the differences in panels from the manga being different in the animation as an adaptation. think I'm just much more familiar with the manga so I can't say my dislike for the animation is with any substance. the diff POVs looked cool at least? - I liked how the difference in panels at the begin showed the vast distance between satoru and suguru (and shoko) - the clapping auditory hallucinations and shower dissociation… and his eye bags. shows his depression and depleted mental/physical state really well - haibara being so cheerful :(( - and he's still thinking about gojo… probably has the taste of curses still in his mouth so he can't differentiate for himself whether he'd prefer salty vs sweet. gojo's breaks the tie for him - yukiii~ my beloved - her entrance is so classic - love how yuki's one of the final straws that breaks the camel's back for geto, though I wonder what geto's response would have been pre-riko's death - also love how yuki's methodical approaches, with one actually having been looked into and studied, are mainly still just purely theoretical based on yuki's unwillingness to act as rash as geto will in the future now that he's past the breaking point - yuki wasn't insane enough but geto definitely is. goes to show how similar they are in retrospect with holding onto their beliefs - also yuki literally saying their star plasma vessel mission was a bust from the very beginning bc riko's life and death didn't mean anything with other potential star plasma vessels found. rubbing salt on the wound. so much salt. an entire sea's worth of salt - nanami's voice breaking </3 - ooh blood manifested hallucination. nice touch. also very unsettling as a jujutsu sorcerer - oh god the twins. shoko reading the casualty report. geto's further dwindling morals pushed to the breaking limit. there's a lot of empty space vs. claustrophobic scenes and I like how the anime captured that especially with the muffled background noise. and trees and the cage tiles blocking out faces in times of emotional turmoil. very well done mappa - geto's complete apathy at all of the villagers dying to save the twins in a cage. we stan one deranged monster of his own making<3 - bye-bye jujutsu pin - ahhh this is gonna be so painful for everyone but mostly for satoru </3 - not suguru saying "hey!" in an upbeat voice after he just went through his first quarter-life crisis at 18 y.o - ah the frame of their eyes… satoru still has light in them while suguru's completely extinguished. pain. - "are you the strongest because you're satoru gojo? or does being the strongest make you satoru gojo?" another tortoise and the hare allegory - also satoru the one being emotional and lashing out and YELLING and suguru's just. calm and resigned at this point. he knows how this all would've gone down and satoru's the one that has to play catch-up - gojo didn't kill his situationship and it'll continue to bite him in the ass for the foreseeable future - not the out-of-sync clapping in the background. actually that's just the music. good lord - the twins <3 at least they're alive and happy <3<3 - "you obey me now." yes sir, sorry sir - LMAO GOJO. he's too cute to look like toji - megumi being real about his dad being a deadbeat in their lives shocking gojo out of his persona. nice detail. also good on gojo for at least attempting to give megumi a choice even though he knows he really only has one if he wants to live (with tsumiki) - "nothing!" he lied like a liar who lies

[maizumis]

— HAIKYUU BOYS AND MAKE OUT SESSIONS

ft. timeskip!iwaizumi hajime, osamu miya, bokuto koutaro, suna rintaro, atsumu miya

note: fem!Reader and suggestive‼️y'all I'm not sorry, thanks to @shoyotime for talking me about a morning make out with iwa, also finally a post to get out of the baby fever <3

#IWAIZUMI HAJIME

— istg mans can't keep his hand for himself, make outs with hajime could be slow and sensual or super rough full of need. he needs to feel you, his mind is just in you. when is slow and pretty he will make sure to make you feel loved and appreciated because that's what he feels from you but when is not... expect mans to pick you up by your legs and push your back to the nearest wall he has in sight

his hands holding both your legs, arms muscles flexing so you wouldn't fall "fuck, I love you so much" it came more breather and desperate that he intended but that didn't stop him from keep kissing you. your back practically craving holes in the wall from how hard he was picking you, that didn't matter in the moment, you needed to feel him "h-haji, I love you to—" his tongue was in you, again, not letting you finish your sentence; at this point you didn't even figth for dominance, iwaizumi's aura was per se dominant, it's a game you didn't try to play and you already loosed. mouths moving vigorously with each other, you pulled out to catch your breath, followed by iwaizumi pecking your lips before letting you down on the floor "hehe, I really could kiss you all day"

#ATSUMU MIYA

— no one can convince me otherwise, this man lives for making out with you, he waits for the end of the day so he can have you sitted on his lap, on the couch, a forgotten movie in the background while you two are so into the kiss, not only mouth moving together but bodies, both your hips and his at the same rhythm. his hands maybe on your ass or your neck to push you even further into him, he needed more. he is a starved man and he is gonna get his food

"f-fuck ma baby a missed you" your hands playing with the hair of his undercut, looking at his eyes before going in again " ‘tsumu, missed you too" it was less than a day that you two didn't saw each other in reality, both work and practice were at the same time. his hands on both cheeks of your ass, gripping them, from time to time slapping it, his and your tongue exploring every place they could, even after so many years of relationship, the two of you couldn't see to get enough. the amount of grunts that left his body thru the kiss where unbelievable "ugh— wan’ ya closer, need ya closer’ baby" now his hands on your lower back pushing even more closer to his body, you were in for long today

#OSAMU MIYA

— he is gonna take his time with you, don't pressure him :< but for real, he wants to worship you every chance he has, I'm thinking about slow and living make out sessions like giggling and sharing little pecks between yk? he lives to see your smile everytime you pull out to catch your breath, you hand in the back of his neck while you rest your forehead in his

saying good morning to a cooking osamu always ended in you hugging him from behind while he ended breakfast, but not today, the sweet peck you gave him leaded to the moment you were now, up in the kitchen counter osamu between your legs with his hands behind your knees so he could put your body on his, sleepy smiles between kisses "umm a love ya so much angel" with your hands around his neck, you bring him closer so both your noses could be touching, chest going up and down from the lack of air "I love you, samu" he started kissing all over your face, nose, temples, cheeks, brows, eyes, everywhere until a weird smell started bothering him "samu! the food!" "fuck!"

#BOKUTO KOUTARO

— he doesn't gives a single fuck of who is seeing<33 if he wants to kiss you, he is gonna do it without holding back, he really doesn't care of people around, he just want his tongue down your throat lmao<3 everything happens so fast, like his movements are fast, he doesn't have times to elaborate words, he is literally drunk in your kisses<3 we live for a excited boy

he dragged you to the locker room after the MSBY match, he just needed to kiss you after seeing you cheering for him, in his jersey, with his last name, soon to be yours too as he said "come here baby, sit on my lap" you obligated and started playing with the baby hairs of his neck "you did so well kou, as always" "yeah? I think I deserve a kiss then" and you were in, making out in the bench of the locker room after a match, the team could enter anytime but who cares when you have the bonito koutaro sucking your soul out of your body? "a-ah, kou I'm so proud of you" he grunted, loudly his hands gripping your ass even more tighter than before "ah, what a lovely sight to see after a match, right guys?" atsumu cocky, as always, you got up from your boyfriends lap and give him a last kiss " ‘m gonna be waiting in the car baby, I love you" bokuto gave you a smile before angrily glaring at the blonder twin for interrupting his after game kiss "sleep with an eye open, Miya"

#SUNA RINTARO

— he lives for slow make out session, lmao you grinding on him while his hands are in your waist? bitch count him in! and mf is so cocky about it teasing you about how badly you want to kiss him, as if he wasn't dying to kiss you too. man's wouldn't let you breath literally, it may be slow but your lungs are crying for help—

the two of you were on his bed, suna's back resting on the headboard while both your legs straddled his lap, your hands in either side of his neck and trying to kiss him "Rin, come one, you want it" no response, you gave up and attempted to get you legs out of him until a squish in your waist made you freeze on the spot "now, where are we going? I thought you wanted to kiss me?" next thing he does is put his mouth on yours, lips hungrily moving together until he bitted your bottom lip to enter your mouth, the kiss got headed from there, your pants and suna's grunts could be heated from outside the room, his hands up and down your waist sometimes going back and forth so he could grab your ass, you tried to pull out to catch your breath, the fact is that he didn't let you "you wanted this doll, don't go giving up on me now"

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[june-again]

itaewon class spoilers probably im just crying again and need to ramble about this show

like actually wtf

(tw mentions of death and gore)

geun-won.

for whatever reason, i feel for him.

yes. he was an absolute dick the whole show. he did horrible things. he caused pain that no person should have to go through, and he barely showed any sense of remorse.

do i blame his father? yes, his father raised him to be like this. his father taught him to treat everyone else like lowly presences, his father encouraged him to do it all for the money and the company, his father told him not to be guilty about stepping on others for his own sake. his father also constantly told him he was worthless and useless to the company and couldn't make decisions. but can i blame director jang when, at moments throughout the show, i felt for him as well?

the horrible life of both of them, each who learned to survive by stepping on others. i'm lamenting at this point.

despite geun-won literally triggering my fight or flight reflex, some piece of me couldn't hold a grudge against him like saeroyi did. and i understand saeroyi's reasoning obviously, but i just

that one scene? where geun-won is sent to dinner with the owner of a company's daughter, and we realize how few social skills he has, and how-

i can't even say it.

and how he said he doesn't like to eat chicken.

like that scene, near the beginning of the show, where director jang made him murder a chicken with his own two hands. a lonely, confused, seventeen year old bully who was scared of killing a chicken. the experience of twisting its neck, hearing its scream. seeing its blood on his hands.

his "date" of course wonders wtf the chairman of a food company's son is doing hating chicken, while he continues to make a conversational fool of himself.

he can't eat chicken.

I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS FACT ABSOLUTELY CRUSHES MY HEART. but it's not all his fault. yes, he should take responsibility for what he's done instead of having his dad solve all the problems for the company's image, but it's simply how he's learned to live.

twisted, cruel defense mechanisms. a lack of sympathy. an assumtion that everything will go his way because he was born into a wealthy family. brutal threats sent to enemies in the belief that nothing can touch him, and when it finally does, and his whole world falls apart before his own eyes,

what would he do?

how does someone come back from that?

i guess the show didn't have time for his character development. they spent a lot of time on yi-seo and saeroyi's ✨blossoming romance✨, and not enough on the man who was never loved.

he must be in so much pain. and never having been taught how to deal with it, he takes it out on others.

it reminds me of how, the first time i paid attention to the lyrics of one of the songs from the ost, "still fighting it," the song goes "and you're so much like me" and for whatever reason even though it's written from a different perspective i thought of it as a comparison of saeyori and geun-won. but saeyori paid for what he did at the beginning, and learned how to better control his emotions because he knew from his father's training that living was going to be hard work and he needed to learn how to be responsible. meanwhile, geun-won was never taught how to be responsible or even how to apologize. he grew up abusing his brother and having his father take care of all the trouble he caused. having his faults ignored because he was the son of an important man. they weren't so different, but saeroyi learned how to live better.

i am in so much pain and this has not helped a bit because i still have so much to say but i have to go study

lmao anyways

[ethereals-angel]

Glow (IX)

Pairing: Baekhyun/Reader

Genre: Angst/Fluff (lmao kinda)

Summary: You loved him for years. You knew that. He knew that. Everyone knew that. The looks you give him isn't so surprising to anyone anymore. But, to your pleasure, that didn't stop you two from being friends. And that also didn't stop the fact that he's in love with someone else.

I // II // III // IV // V // VI // VII // VIII // IX // F //

"What happened?"

Your heart pummeled as you waited for their response, a frown evident on your face, impatient. Getting none, you bolted to your room, harshly opening the door.

"Ria."

She raised her head, her pretty face wet from all the tears as she hugged your pillow to her chest. You rushed to her, gathering her shaking body to your arms.

"He..." she stammered, clutching your shirt in her hands, "why... did he, him and Mina, that fucking slut," she lifted her head to look at you, her eyes glossy. Your heart panged in discomfort, "why?" she breathed as she bursted into another round of fresh tears.

You hugged her tightly, letting her cry on your shoulder. A tear escaped your eye, you couldn't see her like this. "You said he loved me." Her voice muffled as she sobbed.

"He does..."

Images of Mina flashed before your eyes, how she talks to Sehun more and more as she got closer to your friends, how she would leave her boyfriend alone as she sat beside him, engaging him in a conversation, how she laughs the loudest at everything he says, her hands touching him at every chance she gets — how did you miss all that? You remember yourself not giving it much thought before, probably thinking she was just being sweet.

Oh, god, you wanted to slap yourself for being so naive.

Once she calmed down, she pulled herself off of you, sniffing, "have you seen Baekhyun? He must be so sad right now, you should talk to him."

"No, not yet..." you sighed, "what about you? You still need me here."

She shook her head, wiping off the tears that stained her cheeks, "I'm a big girl, I can handle myself."

You smiled at her, lifting your hand to stroke her hair, "you're going to be okay." She hummed, "what are you going to do about Sehun?"

"I don't know. I want to hear his side, you know?"

You nodded, "yeah, you should. I'm rooting for the both of you. I've known him for years and he's not the type to cheat, especially, on you. But if anything goes wrong, tell me, okay? I'm gonna kick his ass myself."

The air lightened as she responded with a throaty laugh, hugging you tightly.

"Where is he?" You sighed, throwing your body on your bed. You've been waiting for Baekhyun to come home, he was gone all night and you're getting very worried.

"I don't know, maybe if you slept, he's already here when you wake up."

Jongdae has been calming you all night and he's probably tired and annoyed. He can't sleep either because of your constant blathering.

"I can't, Jongdae." You groaned, "just sleep, okay? I'm sorry for being so loud." You giggled at his barely audible 'finally' as you got out of the room.

You flopped down on the sofa of the living room, tapping your foot. You sat there as you waited. It felt like hours but you couldn't seem to find sleepiness as you tried to be patient. You can hear the clock ticking as you were embraced with silence, mindlessly waiting for him to bust through the door.

Your mind flew, Baekhyun, your Baekhyun. Your heart ached as tears escaped your eyes, he must have been hurting. He's been so good, how could anyone hurt someone like him?

Your Baekhyun, he has longed for her, for Mina, all these years, as you longed for him.

You sat beside him as he planted his chin on his palm, staring at the girl he has been crushing on for months. You busied yourself with the Math homework you've been working on, your reason why you're here in the library. You were so happy to have him here, when he excitedly grabbed your hand and dragged you to where you are sitting on right now. You stared at his dreamy eyes, only to realize, he's here because she is. Not because of you.

When the day of the school's most-awaited ball finally arrived, you cried your heart out, it was so stupid of you to stay up all night, waiting for Baekhyun's invite for you to attend with him only to get heartbroken because, of course, none of that came. You didn't know why but you went to visit him at his house, and apparently, he was really devastated over Mina's rejection. You ended up staying with him all day as he cried on your shoulder. You danced with him under the moonlight to make him feel better. You savored the feeling of him holding your waist, his touch warm and soft as you swayed to the melody wearing only a casual shirt, jeans, and a pair of flip-flops. That night, you realized you have fallen in love with him. You have fallen in love with your bestfriend.

It was foolish, really, when you decided to tell him how you felt on the day of your graduation. You poured your heart out, you smiled in glee because you finally got your feelings out of your chest after years of keeping it all bottled up. You felt your body heat up in embarassment and pain when he told you he wasn't over Mina, just yet. How he was planning on asking her out, once again. You smiled, you smiled at him as you reassured him that it was all fine, that it wouldn't matter because the only thing that mattered to you was him, him and his happiness. It was true, though. It was all true, however, it didn't change the fact that it damaged you, it broke you in the most painful way possible.

Be that as it may, you knew you were willing to love him with every little pieces. You were willing to pick it all up, mend it, offer it to him over and over again because he deserved it. Baekhyun, your Baekhyun, deserved your heart.

You wiped your tears, getting up to get your car key.

Your hands were shaking as you typed in the security code of your flat. You breathed, your heart pounded as you pushed it open, carefully placing the key of your car to the side table as you heard the faint sound of the piano playing.

You walked, the sound of your heartbeat, getting even louder, it bothered you as you went straight to the opened room, following the beautiful sound of the grand piano.

You stood as you saw him, his back facing you as he played the piece you've been familiared of all your life, Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

A smile appeared on your face as you carefully walked towards him. You sat beside him as you watched his skilled fingers play. You closed your eyes as he continued on, letting your heart be at peace.

When the music stopped, you opened your eyes. A sigh left your lips.

"Remember when you had to play that piece and you were crying because you couldn't get it right," he snickered, making you look at him, your heart warm, "little did you know, you looked beautiful that night."

"Baekhyun..."

He turned his head to look at you, his eyes shining with mischief, his chuckle low and warm, smiling at the sight of your furrowed eyebrows. "Come here," he opened his arms, inviting you. You swiftly leaned in, letting him envelop you in his arms.

"Mina..."

"Ah, her." You felt his chest vibrate as he laughed against yours, you closed your eyes as you wrapped your arms around his waist, "I figured out she was just using me to get Sehun. Crazy, right?"

"Why aren't you..."

"Why aren't I crying? I don't know, either." He sighed, "I honestly thought I was malfunctioning when I didn't feel anything when I saw her doing everything to catch his attention." He snorted, "she really thought I was dumb enough not to notice," making you laugh.

You, unwillingly, pulled yourself from his embrace, "then why did you stay with her?"

He smiled, sadness evident in his eyes, "because I thought I had to. I've been wanting her all my life, now that she's finally here I thought I had to do something, I thought I needed to kiss her, to hug her," he forced out a laugh, "but I only felt lonelier, emptier than I already was."

You were about to open your mouth as he cut you off, "and when that Jongdae dude appeared, I didn't know what to do." He rolled his eyes, pouting, "I never thought you would find someone else."

You frowned, "Baekhyun, what did you want me to do, you were literally all over her."

"I'm sorry! I was stupid," he pouted as he came closer, "do you still love me?"

It was your time to roll your eyes, "what do you think?"

He smiled, his eyes were shining as it stared at yours, his chuckle was soft as he pulled you against him. You felt his lips brush against yours, his breath made you shiver in the sweetest way possible, he was about to close the distance when you pulled away, "what makes you think you can kiss me after all I've been through?"

He stared at you with wide glossy eyes, confusion clear in his face, he looked so cute, you wanted to grab him and pound him and eat him, but you didn't, "but why?"

"What do you mean, "but why", do you know how many years I've suffered because of you and you're just going to kiss me after you realize how stupid you've been?"

"But you love me!"

"Do I?"

"You do!"

"What if I don't anymore?"

"But... but I love you!"