#i'm prepping for a conference and after the conference i'm going to be totally drained bc it's during my break | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-everqueen · 1 year

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i can't gauge if i've become more selfish over the past semester or if i'm finally setting reasonable boundaries. where is the grey space between these options. can i still be good if i'm not sacrificing every spare ounce of energy on other people.

#working on it #this prompted by the colleague trying to check-in with me last night #...the way she checked in was to ask why i've been so cold with her lately and why i'm mad at her #i told her i'm not trying to be cold (true) and ignored the accusations of being mad at her (bc i still am)#but i just said that i've been dealing with stuff and haven't had the bandwidth for talking about it #(ugh. she and the ex-bf have the thing in common where they think any interaction that doesn't revolve around #''deep'' conversations or baring your soul is somehow less authentic or less meaningful than any other kind of convo)#i've been back for almost a month and a half and i haven't babysat for her once #or offered to come over and watch her kid/clean her kitchen #and tbh...i don't want to.#i'm prepping for a conference and after the conference i'm going to be totally drained bc it's during my break #so i don't even GET a break i get travel and Interactions and maybe some informal job interview stuff #and then i gotta write the intro/conclusion to the diss and do edits and arrange my defense date #and start packing to move out and figure out where i'm going to live #i feel so selfish but also like. i can barely do THESE things that i HAVE to do.

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