#i'm so nervous to post this ahaaaaaaa

[sehtoast]

Homelander x m!reader smut drabble from a much longer fic I'm still writing

!please note, Y/n is written as a pre-bottom surgery trans man. otherwise, the vast majority of Y/n's physical descriptors (eye color, hair color, etc) are kept to a minimum for the sake of reader inclusivity- and also lmao i basically stole spiderman for Y/n's supe identity, so there are some references to that

first time publishing anything, so i hope it's decent lol. that said, special thank you to @blindmagdalena for inspiring me to finally write a fic :D

“I can imagine.” Y/n was idly rubbing his thumb in circles on John’s chest.  The two of them were naked as the day they came into the world, cuddled up on Homelander’s leather couch, long after having had a bout of lazy afternoon sex.  Y/n insisted on covering the both of them with a blanket, even though John ran hot enough to act as a little space heater.

“This scene took so many takes.  The director was being fucking ridiculous,” John explained, motioning to the TV from where he was laid back on the couch.  Homelander insisted that Y/n watch one of his several movies with him, and still could hardly believe the web-head had never once watched one in its entirety.

It was rare for the two of them to ever spend time in John’s place.  It was so spacious, and every corner had a marble sculpture of some Greek or Roman figure. The overbearing wall that was nothing but a massive American Flag failed to entice a cozy atmosphere.  But the TV was huge, and John insisted his movies required a wide screen.

The film transitioned to an obvious fan service scene, featuring a ‘shirtless’ Homelander sporting a set of rippling muscles- wildly different than what was really under the suit.  Y/n felt John tense up as he immediately started to fast-forward through the depiction.

“I forgot about that…” he seethed, jaw set tight.

Homelander was deeply insecure about his body.  He’d spent a lifetime masquerading as a man with an Adonis-like figure, with a suit that painted the picture of rock solid pecs, bulging biceps and triceps, and washboard abs.  Somewhere along the line of losing his secret identity, he’d also lost sight of the fact that masquerading is all being a Vought Hero really is.  This was theater.  Hell, even Y/n’s super suit had some design tricks to make him look more cut than he really was.  John once expressed that he’d done everything he could to build muscle, to live up to the standard Vought had created for him, to be built like the god he was designed to be, but failed miserably.  His body simply wouldn’t bulk, and this failure cut him like a knife every time Vought ordered his muscle padding be made even more dense.

It broke Y/n’s heart when John expressed that he was the first lover to ever see him fully undressed and not react like a jackass.

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“Talking about hard things is how we get better at dealing with them.” Y/n quoted his childhood therapist, holding on gently to John’s hands.  It was only their second time making love, and they’d had to halt the process when John jerked away at Y/n’s attempt to remove the top of his suit.  “I won’t ever force you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, okay?  But, please. Talk to me.”

John bit his lip, and if he were built like a normal human, it would have bled from the force.  He shook his head, blinking rapidly the way he does when it was time to confront something he didn’t know how to deal with.

“No one’s ever…” He trailed off, looking down at himself.  “My body isn’t… it’s not fucking good enough.”

Y/n remained quiet, only raising an eyebrow to encourage him to elaborate.

“I’m supposed to be- I should be shredded!  Strongest man in the world and I’m like a fucking twig.  How do you explain that?”  He was rambling.  “I can’t even get bigger, I’ve tried- fuck I’ve tried!  A-all these actors, they roll up to set looking better than me in every way and all I can do is run around in fake fucking rubber muscles to match them!”

Y/n watched him from the spot beside him on the bed, still holding tight to John’s hands, hoping it provided at least something steadying for him.

“I took it off one time, for Madelyn- years ago… I’ll never forget the way she fucking laughed at me.”  His words were bitter and angry, but the way he was only looking down at himself let Y/n know that all of those feelings were directed at himself.  He felt, truly, that he was the root of the problem.  “You’re the only one who’s ever-”

He was cut off by Y/n pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles.

“I think you are so, so beautiful.”  Y/n murmured, looking directly into John’s eyes.  “And you don’t need to be built like a Greek god to be that way, I promise.  You’re perfect the way you are, and I will tell you every day if I have to.” 

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Y/n was distracted from the memory at the feeling of John pulling him in for a deep, desperate kiss.

“Tell me again,” John breathed out.  

Y/n was all too happy to oblige, and swung a leg over top of Homelander to straddle him.

“You’re gorgeous, John.  You’re ethereal in every way.  And you’re so strong, you’re so handsome, and those eyes of yours just…”  

John swallowed hard, his mouth slightly agape. 

“Let me show you…”

John’s pupils were already blown black, and he nodded in anticipation.  Y/n leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, kissing down to his neck, where he licked a stripe over John’s pulse only to blow a gust of cold air over the wet trail.  Homelander shivered and gulped.

“I love the way your adam’s apple moves when you swallow hard.  I love the way it lets me know how excited you are…”

Y/n rubbed John’s shoulders as he sucked hard at the base of his neck, despite knowing he couldn’t leave a mark.  He pulled away with a nip at the skin, clenching in pleasure at the little moan that left John’s mouth.

“-and these shoulders.  So firm…”  Y/n’s hands smoothed down the expanse of John’s chest, fingers moving to alternate rolling at his nipples and massaging the flesh of his pectorals.  “This strong chest- the way it heaves with every breath when you’re enjoying yourself…”  John whined and keened at the way Y/n played with him, grinding his hips up to seek any kind of friction he could find.  His face was flushed and his breaths were coming out in short, excited bursts, while his hands ran up and down Y/n’s thighs.

He about lost his fucking mind when Y/n’s tongue laved over one of his nipples, scraping his teeth gently over the tender bud.  

“You’re so gorgeous when you’re like this. All hot and needy.”

Y/n kept at it, playing with John’s chest until he was sure the all-powerful supe would be on the verge of over-stimulation.  He reached down, grabbing John’s left hand, and cradled it in his own.

“And these hands...  These strong, wonderful fingers. The way they always feel so good inside me- how worked up I get just seeing them,” Y/n slipped John’s thumb into his mouth, sucking up the length of it, curling his tongue around the digit to tease what, and who, was to come.

Homelander’s mouth gaped open at the way Y/n worked his tongue, and he was desperately excited to feel the same treatment around his shaft.

“Please…” John groaned out.  Y/n rocked his hips, dragging his wetness over John’s stiff cock in the process.

“Mmm, please what?”  Y/n inquired sultrily, finger still in his mouth.  “I’m not done with you yet.  Not until you know and feel just how fucking lovely you are.”  Every word of Y/n’s last sentence was accentuated with a roll of his hips.  “Roll over.  Put that ass in the air for me.”

Y/n was quick to get a handful of both of John’s cheeks as soon as he steadied himself on the couch, kneading the flesh in his hands, parting them to reveal his hole.

“I said,” Y/n blew a gust of air against John’s opening. “I was going to show you, and oh, I meant it.”  

John moaned out wantonly when he felt Y/n lick from his sack to his hole, and he buried his face into the seat of the couch to stifle his noises.  His eyes clenched shut at the feeling of Y/n’s tongue circling around his opening, and he couldn’t help but rock back toward the wet intrusion.  

Y/n focused his full attention into eating John out, thrusting his tongue in and out as the opening got looser only to trail back down and gently suck at his balls.  The sounds coming from him were driving Y/n absolutely fucking wild, and it took all of his self control to keep his hands focused specifically on John, on solely his pleasure.  This moment was all for him, and every ounce of focus Y/n had would go into it.

“I love the sight of your ass in that costume.  Every time your cape billows just enough for me to see it, I wonder how it would be to tongue fuck this hole of yours.”

Y/n caught the sight of John reaching to stroke at himself.

“Ah, ah, ah.  Hands behind your back, John.”

He immediately obeyed.  Y/n continued his wet torture of John’s hole, wondering to himself how he ended up being the lead in their sex life.  He always imagined it would be Homelander who pinned him down and fucked him raw- and sure, it did happen on occasion, but John was just so malleable when he was like this.  He was easy to command, and he fucking loved to be bossed around in bed, whether he’d admit it or not.

Y/n slipped the tip of his spit-soaked index finger inside, and John gasped out.

“Shh, it’s okay.  I’ll go slow.  Just let me know if you need me to stop.”  It was always good to let Homelander know he still had full control over what was done to him.  Y/n was more than happy to fulfill John’s needs, but always wanted him to know he retained his autonomy.  Always.

Y/n slowly fucked John with his finger, crooking it just slightly to rub against that sweet spot inside.  The sofa cushion was absorbing most of John’s noises, but Y/n coaxed an especially loud moan out of him the first time he’d brushed against his prostate.

“You know I love it when you're noisy. Be a little louder for me?”

And oh, did he do so.  Homelander turned his head to the side, eyes clenched shut and hands still locked behind his back as he rocked back onto Y/n’s finger to fuck himself harder, moaning with each stroke.

“A-ano-ther,” he gasped out, and Y/n gently added his middle finger to the mix.

It went on like that for a few minutes longer, Y/n kneading at John’s cheeks with his free hand while he fingered him with the other, until he’d decided John had done more than enough waiting.

“On your back for me, please.”  Y/n instructed, and John immediately moved, whining when Yn’s fingers left his body

“Mmm, there it is,” Y/n murmured, running a light finger’s touch up and down the length of John’s cock.  It was painfully hard, the head dark and soaked from the sheer amount of precum that had been worked out of him.  Y/n looked up into John’s eyes, taking note of the trail of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth, the desperate expression plastered on his face.  He was gorgeous.  

“You look like a fucking painting right now.” Y/n emphasized with a stroke of John’s cock, working a breathy moan from him.  It was time to really lay it on.  “Look at that cock, so big, so hard, just for me…  The biggest I’ve ever seen. The only one I ever want.” 

John’s eyes practically rolled back into his head with each word of praise.

“What are you?”  Y/n teased.

“I-I’m beautiful.”  John stuttered, his words slurring.

“Say it again.”  

“I’m beautiful!”  

And with that, Y/n leaned down to drag his tongue from the base to the tip, his idle hand reaching down once more to work his fingers into John’s hole.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck-” He gasped out, singing the intensity of his pleasure into the room while Y/n sucked at him slowly, moaning around his hardness each time it hit the back of his throat just to come back up and roll his tongue all around the tip.  Y/n began to thrust his fingers faster, taking special care to only just miss John’s prostate with each pass.  “Plea- I- Oh, fuck, I- Y/n!”

John began thrusting his hips, fucking Y/n’s mouth and simultaneously thrusting himself back onto the fingers in his ass.  Y/n buried them deep, rubbing against John’s sweet spot, relishing in the downright obscene noises coming from the world’s strongest man, who he’d reduced to a sloppy, needy mess.

He gagged around Homelander's length with each hard thrust, until the final push where John screamed out his orgasm, shooting it down Y/n’s throat while his body went stiff as a board in pleasure, hole pulsing around Y/n’s fingers.  A sudden beam of heat escaped his eyes, charring the ceiling before he could clench them shut in time.  “H-hah, I- Oh god, Y/n- fuck-”  He rambled out endlessly, rocking against the fingers inside him through each wave of his pleasure.  Y/n reached down with his free hand to massage at his sack, feeling the skin close to his perineum still pulsing from his earth shattering orgasm.

Once John had come down from his high, Y/n moved up to kiss him, probing his mouth with his tongue, all just to make him taste how delicious his release was.

“Mmm…” Homelander moaned out when Y/n moved back.

“Y’know," Y/n breathed out a little laugh. "I’d be happy to keep proving this to you, over, and over, and over again. If you'd like, of course.”

John looked up at him deviously, his movie long forgotten in the background.

“My turn.”