#i'm so unwell about these idiots i love them dearly

[the-starry-seas]

the strawberries are actually a wildly funny ship to me hold on lemme explain

so they belong to a BOBF AU where Boba's Tusken tribe is alive and Boba found a squad of clone troopers in stasis and figured he kinda had to rescue them if he was going to try to be a better person, and they decide that he's a cool big sibling and promptly adopt him

Boba also brought Din's covert to live with him under his protection so they can chill for five minutes and Boba can bang Din without Din stressing about his family being safe

Fury, one of the clones, finds out about the covert showing up when he hears someone cussing out Din. He goes to investigate because that's his brother-in-law and Fury probably shouldn't him get turned into paste. When he sees some random Mandalorian taking a swing at Din, Fury promptly goes in and kicks ass.

"Paz, stop it," a woman says, her voice sharp and commanding. The weight on top of him eases a little, as his opponent hesitates and looks toward the speaker. Fury gathers his legs to kick the Mandalorian off him, the treads of his boots leaving dusty footprints on their chestplate. They both fall back. They both scramble to their feet, ready for another round. But neither of them make the first move. One of the others steps between them, with a horned gold helmet and some kind of furred cape across a brown chestplate. A leader, Fury assumes. This must be the covert that had sought Din's help. Why they'd done that if one only planned to attack him, Fury doesn't know, but he does know that he has no desire to get involved with any of them. Whatever their problems or grievances, none of them are against him. He'll leave that particular problem to the man responsible for them all being here. Din's still where Fury last saw him, his Whistling Birds armed as he speaks quietly into his comm. Calling Boba, hopefully. He's the strongest fighter of any of them, even with the clones being taller and stronger. Working together with Din and Fury, they could kill a kriffing mythosaur. "So what's going on here?" he asks. Din sighs. "This is my family." "They're awful," Fury says bluntly, and the blue Mandalorian growls at him. “You’re awful.” “Hey!” The blue Mandalorian starts toward him again, but the leader in the horned helmet braces their hands against their blue chestplate, digging their feet into the sand and pushing back to stop them. They have a hushed, sharp conversation in Mando’a. Fury’s pretty sure it’s about him. Since the Mandalorian with the horned helmet has their back to him, he flips the blue Mandalorian off. It doesn’t seem to improve the situation. “This is Paz,” says the leader. “I’m the Armorer.” “Good to know that one of you still has her sense,” Din says dryly.

Thus begins Fury and Paz tormenting each other to goad each other into another fight. Real "instigating a fight becuase the guy was hot and I want him on me" energy from both sides.

The best part about this is that they are, technically, coparenting at this time. Paz has an eight-year-old son named Jules, who was adopted when his parents were killed by the Imperials that Din led back to the covert. (Paz has some issues with Din getting his kid's parents killed.) The Mandalorians are all co-parenting, and Fury is the daddest dad to ever want to dad, so he decides to also co-parent everyone's kids. This include's Jules, who thinks Fury is pretty cool.

The goading turns into fighting turns into hatefucking. Everyone else is watching this mating dance bullshit with absolute confusion and a good deal of exhaustion.

They would all be much more confused if they realised that the hatefucking was starting to turn into... annoyfucking? Paz and Fury are starting to get used to each other and they still think that each other is pretty hot. Why shove a man up against a wall and then punch him, when you can shove a man up against a wall and fuck him?

It's the better part of a year before they get their shit sorted out, but eventually, they end up cuddling after fucking. From there, they are not admitting that they're in a relationship. Everyone else is aware of it.

Two years after that, one of Boba's Tusken family members hangs out around the palace for a while, and they and Fury end up connecting. (There's a whole writeup about that here, if you want details.)

U'Rajya expresses their intention to court them, if they're open to that. Fury and Paz are very open to that. U'Rajya then expresses their intention to brawl with anyone who has any problems with a throuple. Fury and Paz think that's incredibly sexy of them.

As it turns out, not many people have a problem with that. Anyone who does, quickly learns to vacate the area at high speeds. U'Rajya isn't the only one who's intimidating, capable, and well-armed. Or the only one deeply in love with two warriors who also want to kick ass at any insult to their partner. Sure, U'Rajya is 5'6" and Paz and Fury are both 6'3"... but that just means it's all the more impressive when U'Rajya can kick ass and put him on his knees. It's an enjoyable experience for all of them.