#i'm writing them as a. side pairing. (term used very loosely here) in a fic rn

[cryolyst]

need to clean my drafts not for organization's sake but because i need to unearth all the thoughts i left in there during the 2 weeks i had atsusuna brainrot

[xlovelyyoongix]

don’t leave me alone | ksj

(I do not own this gif) 

summary: how were you supposed to say goodbye to the only man you ever loved?

pairing: Seokjin x f. Reader (ft. Yoongi)

warnings: zombie apocalypse, main character death, violence,  final goodbyes, blood, use of a gun, cursing, panicked reader, and panicked Yoongi.

Genre: heavy angst ( i’m so sorry for this...)

w/c: 2k ( one-shot )

a/n: so, instead of writing a warm and fuzzy holiday fic, I wrote this... wtf is wrong with me 😅? Anyways, huge thanks to @excusemin​ for being a sweetie and overlooking this and also crying with me 😭. Maybe make sure you have tissues before reading, yeah? I promise I’ll write a Jin fluff soon to make up for it. 💕

"Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" Yoongi repeats with a dry throat, hands gripping onto Seokjin's shoulders to drag the older male's limp body into the room. "Close the fuckin door before they get in, Y/N!" he yells with a panic.

"Got it!" Ignoring the grunting of the undead chasing behind you, your hand slams the door shut the second you make it into the room. You make sure to lock the nob, but even that wasn't enough to keep the walking dead at bay; you need something big enough to barricade the door. Frantic, your eyes scan around the office-like room and spot a large desk that could be put to good use.

You sprint over, hands gripping at the metal of the desk but immediately met with the heavyweight of the object. "Y-Yoongi..." You grunt with clenched teeth, attempting to move the desk. "I can't move this on my own," you mutter in struggle.

"Can't you see I'm fuckin busy, Y/N!" Yoongi was never one to cuss or even raise his voice, but with the gravity of the situation, he panicked as he propped his best friend's body against a wall.  

Seokjin releases a sick cough, body wincing at the pain rippling throughout the damage of his legs. "I... I'm alright for now, Yoongi." His voice, weak as he struggles to speak. "Go help Y/N, please." Even being this close to death, Jin was still as polite as ever.

"Yeah, but..." Yoongi's eyes saddened as he gazed upon Seokjin's wounded state. His once flawless skin, now tainted with bloody cuts and purple bruises. Lips, formerly known for their pink, plush appearance now swallowed by a deep blue. It was clear Jin didn't have long to live, leaving no time for Yoongi to argue. "Fine," he releases a heavy breath. "I'll be right back."  

Following Seokjin's orders, Yoongi sprints towards you, assisting with pushing the heavy metal desk against the door to help keep the zombies outside.

With the task completed, your body lunges to your boyfriend's side. "Seokjinnie..." You whimper at the sight of color, leaving his precious face, and when your hand reaches to cup his cheek, you're met with skin as cold as ice. "A-are you in any pain?"  

Seokjin was definitely in pain, so much pain that his brain began to fog, making it hard for him to focus on anything other than the blood oozing injuries in both of his legs. "I... I'm fine, love." He lied, not wanting to make you worry more than you already have been. "All the blood leaving my body is starting to turn me numb." He grunts.

"Y-you'll be fine." Your breath staggers in your throat. "E-everything will be fine, baby," words rambling with a trembling lip. "We'll get you back to the compound, and the medics can look over your wounds and-"

"Listen, Y/N," The sudden power behind Seokjin's voice knocks you from your train of thought. "We both know I'm not making it outta here alive." Despite the grimness of his words', Jin somehow managed a smile as if coming to terms with his approaching demise. "I'll turn before we can even make it back to the compound."

You knew it was true. You knew that nothing could save your boyfriend at this point, but you refuse to believe it. "No, you're wrong!" You shout, a warm tear slipping down your cheek. "You're going to be alright, Jin! You just have to hang on! We can make it to the compound and-"

"Y/N, please" Seokjin's weak voice breaks your sentence. "I don't want to turn into one of them." His cold hand gives yours a comforting squeeze, wanting to feel the warmth of your lovely skin again before he leaves this world. "I don't want you to see me as one of them, so..." His darkening eyes rolled over to Yoongi, who was sitting at his right side. "Yoongi is going to shoot me."  

Your heart drops, jaw falling open from disbelief. "W-what?" Blood running cold as your body begins to tremble because he couldn't be serious, right? "No, absolutely not!" You protest in a frantic state. "We are going to take you back home-"  

"Y/N,..." Yoongi's eyes narrow towards you with a clenched jaw. "You know what happens after someone is bitten." He knows not to sugar coat it for you because the longer the two of you just sit there, the less time Seokjin has. "Don't make this harder on him."

Even though you hated it and didn't want to believe it, Yoongi was right. Seokjin was bitten, and the blood in his body was growing colder and colder by the second. "I... I know b-but," The whites of Jin's once dewy eyes become taken over by the virus, leaving them a deathly pitch black. "Don't leave me alone, Jin..." Your words, barely audible as your tears become potent. "I love you, I love you so much, and this hurts. I don't want to be without you..."

Using what strength he had left, Seokjin leans in for a kiss. His cold lips press onto the warmth of your own, basking in the serenity of your beauty. His thoughts start to wander, and he doesn't know if this is just his brain's way of coping with death, but he notices he's beginning to slip into a peaceful fantasy with you.

A fantasy where both of you stand in a lovely field of white flowers, the sun shining down so bright, your adorable face radiates and youthful glow that only enhanced all the beautiful features Seokjin loved about you.    

Standing tall, Seokjin places a loose strand of hair behind your ear. With eyes so big and your smile so bright, it melted him inside. It felt amazing, seeing you like this one final time, and Jin wished he could stay in this euphoric-like dream with you forever. A dream where he could use his strength to hold you, kiss you, and make love to you. However, the quick stabbing of reality begins to set in again, ripping him from his tranquil daydream.  

Seokjin slowly pulls away from the kiss, his thumb caressing across your cheek to help soothe your sadness. "I love you too, Y/N." He manages a smile, thankful for his short fantasy because now he has the strength to say goodbye. "I love you more than you could ever know, but please..." Jin's thick brows crinkling together, gulping in the air around him, preparing for what was next. "Let me leave this world while I'm still human. While I'm still the man, you love."

You don't want to believe it. You want to say no and drag Seokjin back to the compound and force someone, anyone, to save him because you can't imagine the man you love gone from this world so soon. But, no matter how much you wanted to change his fate, Seokjin was already destined to die this way. "O...Okay." You whimper, teeth gnawing at your lip to hold back any words of protest. Leaning in, you place one final kiss across Jin's cold lips before looking at your friend. "Yoongi..." And for the first time ever, you saw Yoongi's tears.

Yoongi's body trembled with despair, the gun shaking in his hand at the very thought of having to end his best friend's life. He's done it before, killed someone. It's nearly impossible to survive through the apocalypse without having to do so, but he'd never thought he'd have to use a bullet on someone that he loved.    

"Brother," Seokjin's voice creeps in slowly, placing a hand over Yoongi's shivering one. "It's going to be alright." He manages a weak smile, looking up at his dearest friend. "We've had fun together, right?"

A breathy chuckle vibrates from Yoongi's throat as he remembers all the eventful times spent with Seokjin. Friends as teenagers, graduating from college and becoming roommates as the two struggled to find their place in the corporate world. Every laugh, every smile, all of it flashing before Yoongi's eyes. "Yeah, we had a shit ton of fun, hyung." Yoongi laughs, rubbing tears out the corner of his eyes.

"So don't cry for me. I've lived a good life." A smile stretched across Seokjin's face, but he couldn't fool the fact that he was in pain. "I need you to stay strong and look after Y/N." His weak hand, gripping tightly onto Yoongi's. "Can you do that for me ?"

Yoongi rapidly nods his head in agreement, "I will. I'll look after her for you, hyung." Voice cracking in the back of his throat.

"Good." Seokjin grips the barrel of Yoongi's gun, guiding the weapon to be placed against the temple of his head. "I can feel it. I won't last much longer." Taking hold of your hand, Jin takes a deep breath to ease the anxiety rippling throughout his body. "I'm ready," he said, coming to terms with his inevitable end.

Yoongi's somber orbs glide to yours, grabbing your attention. "Close your eyes, Y/N. You shouldn't watch this part." Since the beginning of the zombie apocalypse, you've seen plenty of death, but Yoongi knows this will be the death that haunts your dreams at night.

There was no time to object or whine. Despite the growing ache in your heart, you had to let Seokjin pass on the way he wanted. "Okay," Your lips tremble, giving Jin one final glance before your lashes flutter shut.

Gun shaking in his hand, Yoongi attempts to let his mind fall blank, fearing if he over-thought it, he wouldn't be able to follow through with Seokjin's final wish. He takes an anxious bite of his lip, finger seconds from the trigger, waiting for Jin's signal.  

Closing his eyes, Seokjin grips onto your hand as tight as he possibly could. Of course, he was scared, and of course, he didn't want to leave you but, he'd rather die a man than turn into one of them. Taking a deep final breath, Jin nods, giving Yoongi the confirmation that he was ready.

BANG

The loud sound of the bullet echoed throughout the air. Maroon blood splattering across the office wall as Seokjin's hand grew limp in yours. Your lashes flicker open to the discovery of your boyfriend's body now slack and lifeless. "S-Seokjinnie...?" Your weak voice calls, but when he doesn't respond, a tsunami of anguish crashes over you. You can't catch your breath, your chest begins to tighten, and hot tears run down your face, streaming heavier than ever before. "NO!"

Before your body could collapse, Yoongi catches you from behind, pulling you in between his legs to cradle your sobbing body into his chest. He wants to tell you not to cry, that Seokjin wouldn't want you to be sad, but Yoongi couldn't even stop his own tears from falling. The only thing his weak body was capable of doing was stroking your hair as he rocked you in his arms, his mourning tears sliding onto the top of your head.

Eventually, the two of you would leave the building. You'd take your rage out on the zombies and let your bullets rip through their bodies as you escape back to the compound, but right now the two of you were too weak with grief. Only capable of clenching onto one another as you allow the hot sting of your tears to burn your eyes.

You would cry, and cry, and cry until you physically couldn't cry anymore...