#i've just been working on utau things and plp2 covers and character sheets and irl diy projects and other miscellaneous things for months
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a heem heem whimper
#it finally sank in that the zola anniversary is only 10 days away#and i'm suddenly very mournful that i didn't actually prepare anything#i've just been working on utau things and plp2 covers and character sheets and irl diy projects and other miscellaneous things for months#and it finally hit me that it's coming up and it feels like i've got a pit in my stomach#i want to participate and enjoy celebrating these boys who've been a large part of my work for the majority of those 10 years#but i also#can't really muster up the energy to do much of anything#the thought of drawing something leaves me feeling exhausted#and i can't really think of any composition that would really matter#i definitely can't finish a cover in that time frame#and all the “”“completed”“” covers i have are seriously outdated#and though in theory i could get Something™ small done in 10 days#i also. need to finish art for an upcoming campaign and get back on my oto work . . . . . .#i just feel very terrible and weepy ; ; ;#and just kind of wishing i hadn't dropped what little i'd had ; ; ;#(even though i know i would have been miserable if i'd forced myself to keep working on it through till now)#augh . . . . .#the agonies of unmedicated ADHD i suppose . . . . . .
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