#i've only got 60/195g of food into her today and that's taken hours and hours
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oh it's real depression hours
#giant hole in my ceiling from a leak from 3 years ago that restarted#and knowing the speed at which it got fixed last time shit's gonna be weeks#got a fucking bowl on the floor and everything and it's dripping water and bits of plaster so that's cool and great#cat's slowed down on eating even with the syringe assist#lab said it'll be 14 days before they have results#but if it's FIP that could be half of the time she has left#and there's a treatment that has an 85% success rate but it's not approved in a lot of countries so i'd have to get it myself#and it's the bones of a grand for the meds before even accounting for the syringes#and it's 84 days of injections which - this is the cat who won't even let me pill her so#but i can't even think of starting that until i know what it is for sure#and so i'm just gonna sit here and watch her die over the next two weeks#and most of that time is going to be spent trying to force her to eat and watching her growing to hate and avoid me#i literally just want to fucking scream 1% of cats ever get this why is it my best little friend in the world?#6 weeks ago she was the healthiest 12 year old you ever saw in your life#i've only got 60/195g of food into her today and that's taken hours and hours#this is torture for both of us idk what to do
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