#idk how to cope w this bc i HAVE the science disproving them and I've spent time undoing fatphobia in my own brain
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whyyyyy do people think disordered eating is healthyyyyyyy i am going to explode myself soon i cannot live around these people any more my god
#i dont even want to say what all was said lol it's so fucked up#maybe I'll just go back to starving myself and becoming more underweight just to earn mothers approval (sarcasm)#actually u know what. even if i did that she'd probably get angry at me for it lmao she'd be pissed that I'd be losing weight when she isnt#I CANNOT TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS IM HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME#THESE PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING AWFUL#I WANT OUT OF HERE I REALLY DO#I dont know how to cope w this honestly#i keep trying to twist things to be tolerable but jesus fucking christ the ED is starting to rear its head again#theyre just so fucking mean and stupid and fatphobic and i have to spend so much time around them#its impossible to block out#i keep finding myself thinking i dont need to eat veggies bc ''theyre basically poison'' and im just ARRGHHH#GET OUT OF MY HEAD PLEASEEEE I DONT WANT TO BE THINKING LIKE THIS#idk how to cope w this bc i HAVE the science disproving them and I've spent time undoing fatphobia in my own brain#and my family just keeps setting back my progress bc it is impossible to block them out entirely#i want to crawl out of my skin and jump into a deep lake and never resurface#im so tired of this all and idk what to do. tearing my hair out a little bit#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#fatphobia tw#dieting tw#ed tw#ask to tag
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