#idk if i'll post this on ao3 we shall see lmao

[lullaebies]

fever dream. (952 words, helaegon, no warnings)

summary: On a sunny day, Aegon feels like recovering. (Aegon spends a day with his family, and only finds fever dreams).

Mundane, sunny days are the most pivotal of times.

Aegon sits on a stone bench in the Keep’s garden. This is not his most favorite of places, for the morning sun often shines too brightly on tired eyes, but he has woken early and couldn’t bear the feel of sweat and overheat the coverings bestowed. He feels feverish when the nights catch up to mornings, and the feel of fever starts to manifest.

In these sorts of days, there’s the urge to recover. It comes and goes, a fleeting dream, but when it arrives he knows what the sun bids. 

The maids surround the garden as if they are borders; he finds it rather constraining, but Helaena says it’s due with twins like theirs. 

“Just watch,” she says softly, with the calming scent of honeyed tea coming from the cup in her hands. Aegon thinks her own tranquillity lingers in the air. Tension radiates from her easily on most days, her sensitivity on her sleeve and in a manner more upsetting than one might want to admit; the days where she’s in utter peace are as odd as they are comforting.

The maids are up at arms when Jaehaerys dives headfirst into the grass. A boy of four years with a flock of mothers that rush over to him in absolute attention and fright. He looks to his unmoving wife; he wonders if she feels any envy. As uninvolved as he may be in these matters at times, he can’t say there isn’t any irk within him when Aemond or Criston have father-like moments with the children. He swallows it, but it’s an odd feeling, getting left behind for someone better.

It doesn’t seem to be the case for her. Helaena keeps herself poised at her seat, sips on her beverage and grins. When Jaehaerys lifts himself up from the dirt, face covered with some soil, he does not cry; only stands expectant, looking at his sister. 

“He likes to poke reactions out of her,” Helaena provides the information abruptly. “And he likes to attempt to make her smile, as some would say it is rather difficult to get her to.”

Jaehaera is often even-faced for a child of her age. His daughter is more dignified at four than he ever was throughout his two decades. She makes for a very poised, albeit shy princess; though not a very lively child. That is what most would say of her, at least. Aegon will admit she’s restrained in her interactions, but she smiles at him rather frequently. And what child isn’t shy of strangers? The entire court can shove that talk up their arse.

His daughter looks at her brother with the most refraining expression, lips pressed together with her cheeks pronounced. Not shy to try harder at reaching his goal, Jaehaerys fills his cheeks with air and smooshes them down, as if all the air erupted out. Didn’t I do that once? Regardless, the boy succeeds, and a grin makes an appearance on his sister.

The two children go on to play tag, their nervous maids tailing them to keep them in sight. Jaehaera is as good at disappearing as Aegon, it seems, and Jaehaerys uses every power granted to him to give a good chase for the adults around him. Sometimes they feel like him in a manner that hurts. 

Helaena comes up from her seat beside him to look at them as they stray. Calm in her steps, she knows they’ll return. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and even as it falls, it will always roll back around the soil of the tree’s roots. Aegon comes up after her, standing beside her in the shade of the pavilion’s roof.

She turns to him then, when they end up only having greenery to look at, their children out of sight. There is a feeling of vague emptiness now that the area is clear of the twins, but laughter from afar is what he’s rather used to hearing.

“Aegon,” Helaena makes him look down at her. There’s an odd pause, as there is before any of her provocations, as uncommon as they can be. Her mop of silver locks falls to her back as the tip-toes to kiss him. Her lips press against his softly, and her hand comes to squeeze on his arm. 

Her lips taste like sweet chamomile and tranquillity unknown, and he presses back into her kiss, as the sun threatens to uncover them from their shade. For moments few, he drinks in the heal of hope instead of the numbing of liquor, and grows unafraid to bask in the rays of this sunny day.

When Helaena breaks off the kiss, their noses brushing before finding their distance, she only says one more thing, with one hand touching his face. “Don’t look so sullen.” 

It invokes a dry laugh, the upturn of his lips won over. How many times has he been called sullen? Plenty, likely. Well, the court can shove that wherever they’ve left to shove it. The voices of his children become louder as they return, and he keeps his grin on.

“Papa, Rys fell again!” Jaehaera announces as she returns, and her twin comes behind her, proud in his scratches and ominous small blot of dry blood by his nose. 

“I won!” he counters his sister, unperturbed. 

“Your two left feet serve you well, don’t they?” He says coming forward. Without a beat, Jaehaerys replies.

“Yes!”

Helaena chuckles, and Jaehaera prevents her brother from slamming purposefully into the steps of the pavilion, dragging him up to them by the hand instead. It feels like he’s recovering; but it also feels a fever dream.

[therentyoupay]

Hey kris! I’ve followed you for a long long time now and am so happy to see you doing your thing and active on tumblr rn. I was really really active a couple months ago and am now on here when time permits. Seeing you pop up on my dash again made me realize I don’t think you’ve ever changed your profile pic since like idk 2012 when I started following you. is there any significance behind the and symbol? I hope you’re enjoying the beginnings of fall ☺️☺️

HELLO, NONNY. 😭🙏💕💕 thank you so much for your lovely lovely message!!! i'm also so sorry that you sent this three days ago when i have actually been super absent from tumblr for the past week or so due to ✨life obligations✨🤣😭🤣!! you and i are in the same boat! super active on tumblr when we can be; otherwise.... we swing by, when life allows. 🤣

thank you so much for your question! you are correct!! 🤣 i started writing fic at age 11 on FFNET through another penname (bonus points if anyone here actually remembers what it used to be, 2001–2011 👀?) and it was a really big deal when i decided to ✨rebrand✨ after ten years! the rebrand to therentyoupay started in december 2011 (long story short: a reviewer left such a nice comment on my FFNET dramione story that it kickstarted me into actually continuing it! comments matter!!) and at the time, ampersands (&) were all the rage, and i was definitely one of the basic bitches obsessed with them. 🤣 (no millennial-"&" tattoo but i did consider it lmao. maybe I'll still get one, one day, so y'all can try to identify me in The Wild lmao.) therentyoupay is from one of my favorite quotes. 🥹🥹🥹💕💕 (does anyone know? 🤣)

so, that following summer in 2012, lok came out and i was lured into making a tumblr! unsurprisingly, my avatar/icon slid over from FFNET/ao3 into tumblr, as did my penname, and i will likely keep it for the rest of my life 🤣 therentyoupay/kris(which isn't my real name👀)/TRYP have now all been associated with this account and my fics for so long that it would cause great confusion and, quite probably, losses in the community i've built over the years!! so TRYP i shall remain forever 🤣

i also personally get so confused when long-term friends on tumblr change their icons and URLs... it's like i no longer recognize them! i have a spreadsheet with everyone's URLs over the years, their names, etc., so i can keep track... but i was also off tumblr for three years during the pandemic 😅😅😅 so i have lost track of a lot of people 🥹 that's why i always really appreciate when people leave a note in their profiles/pinned posts about their previous URLs and a name to call them by! (whether it's a fake name or not lol) otherwise i don't have a name for them–they're just their URL lol, and their "face" is just their icon. 🤣

and yes, i totally am!! 🍁🍂🍃🍁🍂🍃🍁🍂🍃 i'm feeling so lucky and so grateful for all the amazing things happening in my life right now 😭🙏 if only 2012!kris had any idea what was in store for her.... 🤣💕💕💕

LOVE YOU, NONNY. TAKE CARE AND HAVE AN AMAZING REST OF YOUR WEEK. 💕💕💕💕🙏🙏🙏🥹🥹🥹🥹💕💕💕 thank you so much for this beautiful ask!