#idk maybe i'd take it seriously and care more if it wasn't just an easy talking point for certain fans who just love screeching about how

[saving-people-haunting-things]

Is it bad that I just really don't care about the "bodily autonomy" discourse?

[halliescomut]

Love Sea Ep 3 watch along

Okay, but that little reminder text is a perfect example of showing you care without saying you care. 🥹

Okay but sometimes Mame is unexpectedly very deep and very good with words.

P'Vi confuses me. I do like the blunt honesty her and Rak have though. That's important in friends.

Mook is so absolutely adorable. If Vi makes her cry I will figure out how to kick the ass of a fictional character.

So it seems their dad did worse than just leave them based on that convo between Rak and his sister. (I think I remember discussion of that from where ppl were discussing the novel on Twitter, but I did make the decision to not try and read the novel first.)

I kinda wanna know where all of Mut's button-up shirts are from. I really like them.

Rak being all depressing and Mut and ....shoot I forgot his name again... going diving.

Mut(Fort really) is just so cuddle shaped.

On iQiYi the OST lyrics overlap with the actual captions and it's annoying as fuck

This fucking nosey ass 🤣🤣

The difference in aesthetics for their clothes here is so wild. I will say though that I like that there's wardrobe repetition. That's not always common in TV, and it really fucks with the believability. I know it's more common in Thai BL, but that's mostly bc so many involve ppl that wear a uniform of some sort (looking at you University BLs).

Interesting...very interesting. I talked.... somewhere... About how the social power dynamics at play here were dangerous because they were going into this whole thing without being honest (with themselves or each other) and it was going to have fallout.

I don't know if I'm surprised Mut took so long, or if maybe I expected him to take Rak's verbal abuse a little longer.....

A beautiful scene. It's a lovely bit of physical acting how Rak sort of melts into Mut.

I do think it's so funny how Mut always says he's so simple (and in some ways he is) but people seem to take it to mean not smart or clever, and he's very obviously both. I can't tell if he truly sees himself that way or if it's an attempt to have people underestimate him....maybe it's both.

Well now I'm just depressed. Thanks a lot Rak. But seriously, I do appreciate the clarification of the family dynamics. I'm also a bit surprised Rak is opening up so soon to Mut about this. Idk if it's because it's at the front of his mind, or if Mut's kind of easy acceptance of everything makes it seem easy...idk.

Ruh-ro raggy .... Rak thinks this is gonna be a failed experiment because he truly doesn't think real love exists, but I fear he will be wrong (this is a romance after all).

I'm curious about Mut's motivations though. I believe he believes in love. I also think he wants Rak to, or maybe just for Rak to have some peace? Idk. He's surprisingly hard to read. As much as I think he likes Rak (both as a person and a sex partner) I don't think he's fallen in love with him at this point.

While I do love a fake dating storyline ... I'm still on the fence about P'Vi.

I feel like Fort had to carry Peat for a long time for this scene. I bet his arms were killing him. (Though we've seen the gym pics, I know he's been working out.)

That's so cute.

Oh yeah...slow mo pushing the hair back. Very Baywatch

Are we doing more beach sexy time?

I Guess Not. We're back at the keyboard.

You're gonna sit here and tell me that's not a goddamn puppy in human form??? LIES!!

He's goddamn adorable. I'd want one for myself if I wasn't Ace and had any idea what to do with one other than feed it and take it for walks.

Peat's got nice hands 🥵...send tweet.

That was such a sharp poke. OMG 🤣🤣

Okay but this is practically a still from the PaiSky fanfic I wrote. Linked here.

Rak likes cuddles. Cute little bean.

Palm ....that's his name. I was thinking Pond earlier, which is close. And now he's being nosey again.

Mut's face when Palm waved back🤣🤣🤣 Like bitch I ain't waving at you

I do think it's sweet how determined Palm is to be a good wingman though.

I do appreciate the love bite front and center. But what are our thoughts on whether it's makeup or a 'practical effect'?

"A dog in rut more like." "Well then his owners is as well." 🤣🤣

Mut's nervous to take Rak to his home. Sweet, but legit if Rak were to judge him for his home I would vote for kicking him to the curb, no matter how much I like him.

Ahhhhh.....so Ja is VI's costar...okay. God I forget how fucking tall he is. Mans practically a redwood.

Is this like Wedding Plan, but make it straight???

I know that bunny purse is entirely impractical for the person I am, but it's so cute.

It really is weird people would be claiming boob job when I think Vi is a B cup on a good day.

Very impressive just fully ignoring the sexuality question Vi.

Mook, babes....you gave in way too fast.

"I'm not bi." I know a lie by omission when I see one. That statement does not equal that you are straight.

You are a damn liar Rak. This little visit has nothing to do with inspiration. You want to be nosey and learn more about Mut.

I like the environmentalism aspect woven into the show. It's good.

As if I couldn't hate your dad more Mut. Calm down Satan.

So we know why Mut left. But really how can someone make their living from nature but not care enough about it??

Okay exhibitionist Rak.

Idk why but there's something about Rak straddling Mut that just....

Well.....we can tick off the Fort's nipple obsession of on the bingo board.

And we're returning favors. Very egalitarian.

Two condoms....well. You certainly had plenty of energy there didn't you....

There's a couple wrappers on the floor, but those do look unopened.

Also vaguely off topic: while the sheets are not the Slutty Geometry Sheets™️, I think my sister has the same kind.

Hmmm....now this is a juicy conversation. Rak being so intentionally honest here telling Mut to ask him to stay. He's afraid to take the leap, but he wants to.

As a side note....I cannot tell you how much I love them showing Fort's physical 'imperfections'. The kind of farmer's tan he has going on, you can see the stretch marks on his upper arms. He's an absolutely gorgeous man, but so often that stuff gets filtered out, or covered in makeup. I love seeing it. We need this more.

OMG I'm crying.

This is important though. Rak needs to know that his answer will have consequences.

That was the right answer. (Though the shabby hole comment about his house was a bit much. I'm hoping that's more a translation issue.)

I suspect the country mouse shall go to the city in next week's episode.....

Awwww Rak in Mut's tank top. Cute.

I really thought Rak was bare-assed for a second pulling a Pete, but no, he's in khaki pants.

So cute and sweet 🥹🥹🥹. Also, I love the bed net. Malaria is no joke.

So next week are we looking at just an NDA or is that contract for like a full Sugar Baby position??

Also end credits change-up again. Now MutRak are walking together....symbolic.

Well that's all for this watch along. I don't think I'll have 4k words to say about it tomorrow, but we shall see.

[calliethetrekkie]

Triumvirate Prompts: Day 11

#11. Favorite AOS reboot movie?

This is super easy.

Without a doubt, it is Beyond. As I said in the last prompt, I have a LOT of frustrations with AOS. All of this is my own opinion so please do not take this too seriously. But to me Kirk was too much on an unlikable, arrogant asshole that the previous films failed to make me care about, the destruction of Vulcan pissed me off and felt pointless, McCoy was just... there, Spock and Uhura's relationship felt tacked on without actually caring to develop it, Khan was... I don't even know, etc. I had so, SO many problems after watching the first one and Into Darkness that when I got to Beyond, I felt like there HAD to be nowhere to go but up. I'd seen people saying good things about it including people who shared my thoughts, so I went ahead and gave it a go.

Thank goodness I did. It felt like the people actually listened and tried to make a good Star Trek film, not some epic sci-fi blockbuster with the Star Trek name attached to it. As it takes place three years into the Five-Year Mission, Kirk is much more mature, the narrative makes him sympathetic and likeable, and just came across as so, SO much more like his TOS self without making him a carbon copy. Spock finds out about TOS Spock's passing and is conflicted about remaining in Starfleet or leaving to continue his alternate self's work as well as having issues with his relationship to Uhura. McCoy FINALLY gets used properly, being there for Kirk on his birthday/the anniversary of his father's death and spending a good portion of the film tending to an injured Spock and helping him through his concerns. The Triumvirate doesn't feel as whole as I'd like for it to, but it was such a massive step-up, and I was thoroughly happy with it.

The plot was fun with everyone separated. I really liked Scotty and new character Jaylah in particular. Their scenes were so fun~! There was legit fun and light-hearted moments such as the 'you gave your girlfriend radioactive jewelry/a tracking device scene'. Dear God that may be THE funniest scene in not just AOS, but in all the ST films. The actors performances, one of the things I actually always felt was strong, was so well done here. Sure Kirk, being the Captain, gets the most focus but no one felt ignored or neglected. Everyone got at least one chance to shine, and it was a joy to see since even TOS wasn't always great at balancing it's cast well (it's usually Kirk, Spock, McCoy about 90% of the time, and once in a while Scotty).

I wasn't a fan of everything. Like I didn't like them destroying the Enterprise for example and Kirk's existential crisis... I don't know, felt too soon for me. But any issues I had were minor and I overall I had such a good time with this film. It was a breath of fresh air after how disappointed and even angry I was at the first two films. While I could tell that effort was put into them by the cast and crew, it just didn't feel like Star Trek to me. It felt like a bastardization of it with only a surface level care by the higher ups to cash-in on the original. Beyond felt like it was made by fans for fans, sticking to the universe they had but also restoring some of that TOS energy and pathos. IDK if a fourth film is ever going to happen at this point, but if Beyond ends up the curtain call, maybe that's not such a bad place to end.

[continentalblue]

you wanna have Thoughts? you wanna have Feelings?

we know varian isn't the most careful when it comes to his experiments (and he's gotten a lot better, but he still makes mistakes!) so i just imagine him getting injured and having to see the castle nurse/doctor or someone to patch him up and they're always telling him to be more careful

(i also think that after the new plumbing system was installed in corona, quirin went back to old corona to tend to his pumpkins and stuff and now that varian's alone and doesn't have help he tends to overwork himself a lot more and the injuries increase. mayhaps the nurse/doctor/someone notices and puts more effort into taking care of varian. maybe they even decide to become his assistant or smthn idk)

I'd love to hear some headcanons for this idea, if you have any!

Blue's note: feel free to request Tangled headcanons through my askbox! They can be character or ship hc, I don't really care. I won't do adult/nonadult ships, nsfw, or ships between family. I also won’t write for Varian and the Seven Kingdoms due to my unfamiliarity with it.

--------------------------------------

Blue's Note: I'm not sure if you wanted them to be romantic or platonic, so I wrote them as platonic. Let me know if you want romantic ones!

//cw: headcanons include mentions and depictions of wounds, blood, harm, scarring, and other forms of injury to the body. Please ask me to tag.

⚗️ Varian held out his arm to you, his face pale. "It's not as bad as last time."

⚗️You sighed, wrapping gauze around the wound. The raised scars surrounding it made you sigh again. "Another steam explosion? Varian, you have to be more careful!"

⚗️"It's worth it if it means I can figure out how to get hot running water to everyone in Corona!" Varian flexed his fingers. "Besides, aren't you a doctor? I'm keeping you in business."

⚗️You rolled your eyes playfully. "Sure, Varian. But seriously though. Can you please be more careful?"

⚗️"No promises."

⚗️You were always telling Varian to be more careful. Crazy kid was going to be the death of you, that's for sure. Your heart always seized up painfully when he stumbled in, clutching whatever injury he had. It was even worse when it was a bloody injury because he would faint and you had to stitch it up.

⚗️Varian finally managed to get hot running water to all of Corona. Honestly, you were very proud of him. It clearly wasn't easy (as evidenced by the lack of gauze and stitches in your supplies.)

⚗️What was worse was that the injuries increased. He used to come in every week for something minor like a cut or a first-degree burn.

⚗️ Now, it was every day.

⚗️ You upped your ante. You spent most of your paycheck on expensive healing balms and lotions for Varian because this shouldn't be happening. He shouldn't be getting hurt this much.

⚗️ As you examined one of his wounds to check its healing, an idea came to you. "I don't know a lot about alchemy or engineering, but I am a pretty good doctor. Maybe I could be your assistant or something? Help patch you up faster? You wouldn't even need to pay me, I'd be happy to do it."

⚗️ "YES! I mean: yeah, sounds good." Varian grinned at you. "You'd really do that for me?"

⚗️ "Someone's gotta keep you alive."

⚗️ You grinned back at him.

[icharchivist]

Hi same nonny as usual haha! You asked for my thoughts on the spring troupe so now that I've finished the summer troupe debut I'm going to knock out two birds with one stone! I liked summer troupe a lot more then spring troupe. Not that I didn't like spring troupe! I just think that they didn't really communicate with each other?

The only reason why sakuyas issue with swordfighting was resolved was because masumi happened to be eavesdropping on a convo with the director, and why someone knew about itarus injury was because of citron noticing. I'm not saying there was no communication at all these two issues just. Bothered me so much the swordfighting one a lot more then the injury. The thing that bothers me about the injury is that itaru wasn't like. Told off for not telling anyone about his injury. Cause he could have seriously damaged his foot or something. I get that in the future there's probably going to be character development for itaru that lets him open up more to his troupemates. The swordfighting one just felt like a cop out to have a "moment" between sakuya and the director instead of having sakuya discuss that stuff with his troupe (which, bleh do not care for the characters flirting with the director at all. wish it wasn't there but I get why they do it.)

Despite my griping I did really enjoy spring troupe! They were fun! They just felt less trusting of each other then summer troupe at the end of day. And I get that char Dev will prob happen bout that but still haha. That's my thoughts on spring troupe! I could just be horribly misremembering the entire episode but oh well!

I know I said I'd also do summer troupe in this ask but it's already horribly long and I'm writing this on my phone. I'll get to that later. Thanks for reading my rambling that has not been proofread at all or edited. Hopefully it makes some sense hahaha. Thanks for introducing me to a3 it's tons of fun.

aaahh thanks for sharing!!!

honestly i kinda get where you’re coming from. I really love Spring, but it’s especially now in insight of their development. On first read, i think the thing especially was that the chapter was more about setting up some of the most major issues of the universe (the debts, the way  to arrange themselves in that new environment ect..) that therefore the characters issues may be not as focused as the others chapters?

(also for character flirting with MC there will be only 2 in main stories that do that a lot, one of which is Masumi, and the other isn’t much flirting as just hopelessly in love. Not much we can do about it but honestly once you move on from spring if this really holds you down, it will ease off at least, even if there’s a few thingss here and there stil)

Summer was the moment i really fell in love with the game, i really, really adore Summer’s dynamic and it was just. so good to go through.

As for the things you bring up about Spring, on one hand on first read i think i get you, but yeaaaah in insight of all we learn about the characters, it’s really not that far fetched ahah.

For Sakuya imo it’s really just that he freaked out because of his abandon issues and i don’t really see him discussing it with Spring yet at this point? Like. Sakuya is terrified of not being good enough and being abandoned as a result, like all of his relatives ever did. So he tries to compensate. When Masumi just brought up that they’ll just replace him, i don’t find it far fetched that Sakuya freaked out about it and failed to explain it to Masumi at the time. 

Those very same issues also lead Sakuya to hold on everything bad ever to himself. The reason he opens up to Izumi, more than her just coming to him there, is that she already proved before that she wasn’t willing to abandon him, if only by how she took up the theater because of his passion to start with. And, just, timingwise. 

And i think Sakuya wouldn’t have taken reassurances from his others troupesmates who have already made clear they believed in him, because i think Sakuya would be more crushed with the idea that they’re just being polite and kind with him. Because he knows he’s failing and the others’s way to reassure him would probably have made it worse. He needed reassurance 1) from the director who at this point has already started to be giving more constructive critisms, 2) Masumi, who’s the one who caused those insecurities by the fact he doesn’t hold back. But i don’t see him reach of to Masumi with how hostile Masumi has been to everyone up until that point. (i have more thoughts but that’d be me overreading it too but dKJFDLKF a3 makes my brain go brr)

As for Masumi, this kid has serious communication issues (only child with no friends and no parents around? oof) and i don’t think he would have reached out to Sakuya or even figured something was wrong otherwise.

Are those just easy way out for the writers? maybe, but that’s just how writing is isn’t it? if you want to make even some “artificial” conflict, you need to make it believable why this conflict exist even in the first place. 

Honestly the swordfighting issue doesn’t strike like that to me, and those are all about things that are shown in the Spring chapter itself, but i suppose since i also know those things are expended on, it does add a layer of “this was made with depth for their characters in mind” imo.

Also i think if Masumi hadn’t eardropped, Izumi would have talked to him about it, being the mediator and all of that, and i think Masumi would have understood then. I don’t think Masumi was unwilling to understand, but that he lacked the groundwork to understand it. and we mostly were spared from having to repeat the scene with Izumi telling him about it.

Idk if i see Sakuya managing to tell it to Masumi even after this talk? I think Sakuya is the kind to take all of his pain in silence and assume responsibilities for everything that goes wrong, and i don’t think he would have felt comfortable opening up with that, especially since, as he tells Izumi, he genuinely feels like *he’s* the failure about it (and as Izumi tells him, it’s not his fault if others people don’t try either. Sakuya was made to believe that he had to take full responsibility when a relationship doesn’t work because of his relatives, and i think he was set on doing the same with this Massu’s situation, and the reason he could share it with Izumi is because she’s not the person he’s taking responsibility for). On top of that, Sakuya remains Masumi’s elder, and Sakuya does want to be someone people rely on - he wants to be a big brother figure, and i think he wouldn’t have wanted or known how much of this responsibility he could share with Masumi knowing that. And i don’t think it’s healthy! but it’s perfectly understandable from Sakuya’s perspective and the specific way he shoulders responsibilities because i will fistfight his family his family sucked.

As for Itaru, on this one we only got the reveals about how deep this lack of trust Itaru had for people ran only recently, so imo early on you just need to take it at face value and hope when you get to know more, it’ll click. Realizing he doesn’t want to be alone anymore and wants to be more with Spring is a turning point from this set up about him, so he can only develop from here.

For why no one really told him off about it, i guess i can understand the grip ahah. imo i think everyone worried already enough that he was talking about leaving the company this was the priority to discuss and i do think talking about his ankle at that point may have not worked with the pacing of the emotional moment. I wouldn’t have minded seeing some of them being more worried about it in general though.

In the end the thing with Spring is that aside from Tsuzuru, they are all people who come from background where communication isn’t their forte. Sakuya fears he’s never good enough, Masumi never even had to face how lonely his life had made him until now (and i think he specifically lashes on the director because it’s the first time he feels like he wants a connection with anyone in his life and he doesn’t know what to do with it. I find his obsession creepy imo but i also see where it’s coming from), Itaru has severe trust issues and rather be solo in general, and Citron hides a lot about himself.

and i think, we have Tsuzuru has never been really alone ever, and he takes a lot of responsibility, (though there’s a few things about his background we learn later that shows he still has similar struggles than the rest of his troupe regarding some.. broken connection, which he vagues at in the Spring chapter (... which is something i only noticed on my reread knowing that so i wouldn’t blame you for not catching it))  but he’s also trying to do things for himself for once in his life. Ultimately he knows how to communicate more in general but he has that going on for him, and especially, i think his way to communicate or connect may be too foreign for the rest of the troupe for a smooth connection off the bat.

All of them are trying to connect in their own ways coming from those complicated feelings they have about connection imo... and i do find it fascinating. 

I see Spring a lot like, the kids who had to grow up too fast and the adults who are unhappy with where their adult lives have taken them and the expectations pushed upon them who yet are trying to cope on their own mostly because they have reasons to feel unsafe otherwise. (Tsuzuru is a bit in between imo bc he’s not “unsafe” yet and he’s already taking himself back in hands with the expectations things, but anyway, i am. trying to keep it short, believe it or not) And they’re still navigating where that leaves them as people, and where that leaves them in their connection with others, and especially with each other because in the end they’re all yearning to connect especially with one another, and just don’t know how to reconcile this desire with who they have been all this time to cope through all of this.

All of this is present in the Spring intro chapter but ^^” i could imagine that without having the full picture those aren’t things that may be easily picked up as important for their characterizations. But honestly there’s a throve of details in the writing to flesh them out when you know where to look and i find it fascinating. (but also i like. relived this chapter 5 times, 4 of which after i’ve seen most of their development, and my first read is so long ago i think i just overthink everything DLKJFDLKF and like, Spring was one of my least favorite at first read bc i struggled to connect with them, so it’s not like i don’t get you, it’s just. nowadays, spring is care spring is love and i cry over their intro chap a lot.)

Anyway i guess i get what you felt still, but, idk maybe i feel strongly about it ahah, i like the way the characters stand out from one another even in the moments that are probably just.. stupid, but in a “they wouldn’t know how to do better because of what’s holding them back” way.

i feel like “lack of communication” is a problem every troupe have to various degree and for different reasons, but the whole thing is about trying to figure out how to fix that and work it with them. Some are more forward than others (like, Summer, mostly because Tenma and Yuki are stubborn and loud and straightforward in their own way)(”than others” i have so much to say about this i’m holding back dLKFJD) but i think it depends also a lot on some thematic it wants to tackle and the spirit of the characters in each troupe. It changes as the story progresses but yeah after all, they are all strangers. And while the game mentions they have a few months to prepare for their play, it was reckoned that every play takes one month to prepare, so it doesn’t really give a lot of time on their first play to really figure out everything they need to work on.

Spring, in essence, as a season, is about blooming back after Winter, after sadness and hardship, and learning how to slowly open up again. So imo their intro chap have to reflect that slow progress for them. While Summer can afford to be more loud, straight to the point (and even there it’s not always easy), Summer is full of learning from their mistake, living in the Now, in the Moment. So their season thematic reflects a bit in their intro chap at least. (ofc they all grow from there though but that’s still interesting imo).

anyway i rambled LDFJDLKFJFDLK

I didn’t mean it in a way to say your reading is invalid though!! sorry if it feels that way, i’ve tried rewriting it a few times DLKFJDLFK i just have a lot of emotions about Spring and the points you mentioned made me think about some stuff about it. 

ANYWAY

if you want to share your thoughts about summer too and the rest you’re always welcomed o7 i’m glad you’re still enjoying your stay, and i hope you’ll keep enjoying the ride!

And Take care!

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: What's this I hear about a bitch fight, like? Grace: ugh can you NOT please Janis: Is it true though Grace: it wasn't a fight okay I just lost my chill like Grace: moving on Janis: 💔 Janis: shame Janis: what happened then Grace: I don't wanna talk about it Janis: I mean I'd ask her but she ain't responding either Janis: very unlike Mia Grace: I didn't hit her that hard but sure Grace: she'll be watching a tutorial for like fake bruises or whatever obvs Grace: make me look worse Janis: again, gutted Janis: but seriously Janis: why'd you finally lose it with the bitch Grace: ask Pablo Janis: ? Janis: what's he got to do with it Grace: while you were getting with barista boy on the school trip they were also hooking up at some party Janis: no way Janis: what the fuck Grace: he didn't even try & deny it Grace: I literally can't with either of them Janis: Jesus Janis: kinda wish I didn't know now Janis: 🤢 Grace: UM yeah same Grace: but she just had to tell me cos I was dealing with a lot that wasn't about her Janis: well yeah Janis: sitting on that one 'til the best time Janis: cow Janis: should've hit her hard, I'd have shown you Grace: I'm not trying to get sued babes Grace: & it wasn't like I decided to hit her or anything Janis: wouldn't waste a court's time with that shite Janis: daddy not trying to get done for wasting resources really Janis: did think Pablo had better taste, tbh Janis: well, not really but you know Grace: Ew don't call him daddy Grace: I can't even be angry right Grace: I should've just kept crying like I always do Janis: Come on Janis: smacking her ones the best thing you ever did Janis: felt good, yeah? Grace: you'd have done it better Janis: still can, like Janis: have to be a decent apology for that Janis: 💰💰💰 at least Grace: if you do, vlog it & send me the footage Grace: I can't be here Grace: I literally have to leave Janis: where are you gonna go? Grace: idk Grace: I can't think rn Janis: You at home? Grace: obvs not they all think I'm mental there Grace: this isn't gonna help Janis: Hardly Janis: she deserved it Janis: how long do you need Janis: away, like Grace: if I'm freaking out now it'll be worse when she retaliates so ????? Grace: & when school starts Grace: OMG LITERALLY WHAT AM I GONNA DO? Janis: Calm down Janis: okay, you'll be fine Janis: contrary to her word being law in your circle, no one actually gives a fuck what she says Janis: anyway Janis: you said you have loads of shit on her, right? Grace: everyone needs to stop telling me to calm down Grace: you don't even understand Grace: she knows as much about me Grace: this is so bad Janis: exactly Janis: so if she's got any brains, she won't be spreading it Janis: if you don't move, she can't, yeah Grace: but I did Grace: I literally hit her Janis: you don't do things like that, you lot Janis: you didn't post anything about her or her and Pablo, did you Grace: I don't want anyone knowing that ever happened, why would I? Janis: see, wouldn't that be much worse Janis: to her Janis: how you lot operate Janis: she'll make up some story about why you hit her, if she chooses to go for that angle Janis: but she knows you've got all the real shit if she's gonna try anything else Janis: stalemate Grace: Yeah, I guess Janis: I'm sure Janis: school'll be fine Grace: UM how?? it's already rubbish & now I've got no one Janis: join the club Janis: just show up, do your lessons Janis: go town on your lunch break Janis: easy Grace: You've got your bf Grace: don't do him like that Janis: I didn't before, did I Janis: never mind just last term Grace: you didn't want one before Janis: no lad at that school, maybe Grace: I'm gonna have to get one now Grace: ugh Grace: 🙏🙏 there's some party tonight or something Janis: how's that the solution Grace: to not being alone? well duh Grace: who's single rn? 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: 🙄 honestly Grace Grace: excuse you Grace: I'm trying to be pro-active here Janis: you've lost your friend not girlfriend Janis: that's what you should be aiming for Grace: she was my friend for like 10 years, most of my relationships don't last 10 days Grace: I obvs can't just find a new bestie Janis: you can try Janis: that's what you want Janis: what boyfriend has ever been good company Grace: yeah cos she was so good for me Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: not the kind of good I meant Janis: a lad ain't gonna chat about reality telly with you and reapply lippy in the loos Grace: a gay one maybe Janis: if you want a gay bff you go for it Janis: bit problematic but sure we can let it slide Grace: all I actually need is someone whose arm I can be on in the halls & whatever Grace: boys are easy to get Grace: easier than friends anyway Janis: alright Janis: if you say so Grace: duh then I can say I dumped my friends for my man Janis: well they are your friends Janis: so they'll know you haven't Grace: no-one else will tho Janis: I'm not sure anyone else will be too concerned Grace: rude Janis: why? Janis: it's the truth Janis: not like the entire school is on the edge of their seat every time you two fall out Grace: obvs they are too busy watching you & your boy Grace: that doesn't make me utterly irrelevant thank you Janis: why are you getting offended Janis: it's not a performance Janis: just do what you want Grace: Oh sure Grace: I told you idk how to be different Janis: it's a good chance Janis: you've got a couple of days Janis: don't be rash, like Grace: I'm so not ready to just like overhaul my life excuse me Janis: it's shit, right Janis: what do you actually have to lose Grace: I told you on that school trip, if I try & I'm still the worst, what then? Janis: go back to faking it with vigor Janis: no one will know, like Grace: I will Grace: & you since it's your suggestion Janis: who am I telling Janis: not even a good secret Grace: ugh Grace: I'm freaking out, I can't commit to anything if it's not a detox, babes Grace: & even then Janis: boyfriend probably ain't the one then Janis: it's what Janis: 7 weeks if you wanna survive the first term Janis: maybe more? Grace: OMG don't Janis: Hell that's only half term, even Janis: then that'll end and it's more drama Janis: don't need that Grace: that's like 7 boys I need to find Janis: you can't just line 'em all up Grace: tragically Janis: could always transfer Grace: do you think mum and dad will let me? Janis: I wasn't being serious but they probably would Janis: just say Mias shoved your head down the bog Grace: EW Grace: did work for Nancy though so Grace: devastated I can't go to Chelsea Janis: mm did it Janis: she did try to fuck her special ed teacher Grace: Oh yeah Grace: & she wasn't even cute Grace: awks Janis: 🙄 Janis: and her twin has ended up inbreeding so don't reckon much to his fine education tbh Grace: Maybe I should hook up with Mia's dad Janis: don't be grim Grace: He's not hot but he is rich Janis: only relevant if you marry him Janis: and her mum is still very much alive and you'd have to last a while to be written in Janis: if ever Grace: I probably look too young for him to be 😍😍😍 anyway Grace: I'll hit him up post surgery if I'm still bitter Janis: you know people have surgery to look younger Janis: what kind of surgeon you found that's gonna make you a grandma Grace: 😂😂 Janis: I mean you will anyway Janis: your desired aesthetic ends up looking Donatella Versace when the filler starts to drop out Grace: gross Janis: He'll defs have a secretary he's banging, they always do Janis: just send a confession to her house and watch the fireworks, like Grace: that's a secret I already know, babes Grace: Mia caught him forever ago Janis: awh Janis: she does have a 💘 Grace: she has an even bigger allowance cos of too Janis: 'course Janis: got that to look forward to, Venus Janis: pretend to be her and tell then, even more trouble Grace: Do you want me to change or not? Janis: no one said you need to be a nun about it Janis: and if you ain't up for round 2 Grace: Yeah okay Janis: Seriously Janis: you don't need to worry Grace: it's fine for you, you don't care what anyone says or thinks or does Janis: yeah Janis: well she's a cunt Janis: why let her get to you Grace: it's not like I want her to Grace: she just does Janis: had 10 years to perfect it, I guess Grace: mhmmm Janis: don't mean you need another 10 Janis: fake that it doesn't get to you, like you said Grace: idk if I even can but sure Janis: why not Janis: you fake everything else, right Grace: & everyone's seeing through it rn Janis: doesn't have to be a bad thing Grace: Pablo called me mental & he got with Mia Janis: Pablo calls everyone and everything mental Janis: his vocab is lacking along with his brain, like Grace: 😂 Janis: doubt he was aiming for a soul-reaching read Janis: just a moody twat, yeah Grace: it's so okay for boys to have moods like it just makes them look hotter if anything but if a girl our age does anything she's mental Grace: is anyone in this fam calling him out for sleeping with girls at parties he says he doesn't know, no just me getting slutshamed Janis: that's misogyny, kid Janis: and I'm sure we're all very disappointed with him for it, like Janis: but as you said, everyone's seeing through you rn so Grace: my feet hurt I can't even run away Grace: I'm putting my coffee cup on the ground & giving up Grace: throw some euros in it if you come this way Janis: if you come here you can earn 'em and think about something else for a bit Grace: ?? Janis: we wanna go out Janis: the kid already knows you so come watch him for a few hours, yeah Janis: better hiding place than wherever you've got to Grace: before I say yeah, is his sister there too? Janis: I can assure you she'll be out as soon as she gets the chance Grace: Okay Janis: she's like Gus' age Janis: she can take care of herself Grace: as long as that's the only way she's like Gus Janis: 😏 Janis: bit rude but yeah Grace: oh come on, he's a lot Janis: 😂 and you're not Grace: that's why I can say it duh Janis: so is that a yeah or what Grace: I'm omw Janis: good stuff Grace: I need to fix my makeup first so Janis: so you'll be five hours Janis: come on Grace: Shut up Grace: I can't do it in a moving car, I'll look worse than I do now Janis: as long as you aren't rocking a 🤡 look I don't think the kid will mind Grace: you and the love of your life will still have to let me in Grace: what are you wearing? am I gonna have to be fake nice about it Janis: it's cool, he doesn't think you're nice, like Janis: told him what a bitch you are, obvs Grace: thanks babes Janis: any time 🖤 Grace: 💜 Janis: anyway, you'd be here for it Grace: Yeah? Janis: it's stupid Janis: had to dress up 'cos not fully sure where we're going so Grace: that's soooo cute Janis: alright Janis: that's enough Grace: I didn't even start Grace: so mean Janis: I know Grace: Do you want me to do your makeup? Janis: I don't think we'll have time Janis: takes an age don't it Grace: for me cos I have problem areas Grace: it wouldn't take like any time to do yours Janis: okay go on Janis: but we can't make him wait forever so it really does have to be speedy Grace: OMG really?? Grace: I promise, like 10 mins Janis: 👌 Janis: why not Grace: yay Janis: love the enthusiasm, babe Grace: Babes, if you could see me rn Grace: 🙌💜🙌 Grace: but if I get too excited I'll never get there Janis: I know it's shit Janis: but she's been shit for a long time Grace: & I know that Janis: yeah Janis: well Bobby will be happy to see you Grace: duh it's totally mutual Grace: he's a babe Janis: shame you can't take him to school 💕 Grace: he isn't a 🐶 I can't just put him in my 👜 hun Janis: think this one is too big for that and all Janis: 'less you're going really hard Grace: OMG has he got a big scary dog! 😱😱 Grace: one of my exes had one that was like Grace: so evil Janis: no Janis: it's just not a rat dog Janis: and it's nice just a bit excitable, only a puppy, like Grace: 🙏🙏 Grace: thank god Janis: just walked it so it should be chill-ish Janis: [sends pic 'cos god knows I have enough] Grace: ask him if I can steal it for school 😍 Janis: 😏 probably say yes Grace: that's so happening then Janis: you so don't need these bad influences in your life Janis: do you reckon mum used to put Ri in her school bag Grace: obvs have her strapped to the front & all her books in a backpack Grace: if I had a baby I could get away with leaving school though, I'll think about it Janis: behave Grace: I need to find the hottest boy ever first Grace: so it'd be cute Janis: shut up Janis: anyway Janis: don't always work Janis: look at Drew and Ro's kid Janis: weird looking thing, they're both attractive enough Grace: is she though? Janis: thought you'd tell me off for being mean Janis: she could be, if she wasn't dying, like Grace: never seen her when she wasn't so it's too hard to tell Janis: 💔 Janis: must be Mia's GP Janis: doling out the advice Grace: I'll book myself in ASAP Janis: like you said Janis: not a look, is it Grace: neither's this Grace: whatever I don't have the commitment Grace: stopped making myself throw up forever ago Janis: did you? Grace: it's like really hard to do Grace: someone should PSA that Janis: along with all the reasons not to, yeah Janis: reckon there's been a couple of films and docs on it Grace: it has its upsides too obvs, how I get any lads to date me Janis: you can shut up now Janis: didn't need to hear about Pablo jumping Mia's bones Janis: don't need to hear about you Grace: you just wanna hear about my bulimic past instead Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: um I didn't ask you about that either Grace: you literally just did Grace: but fine Janis: what did you want me to say Grace: whatever I don't need an intervention for that so Janis: alright Grace: where's his dad? He's not gonna like come back & freak out that I'm watching his kid, like who am I, is he? Janis: nah he's on a date of his own Janis: if he came back early, just give me a call, like Grace: Gross Grace: 👌👌 Janis: he is Grace: I bet he's hot though, son like that Janis: old men are so not your thing Janis: don't need to go down that route, tah Janis: and he's not Janis: like he could've been but he's well past it Grace: tragic Grace: I wonder if his mum is pretty Grace: they could've been like couple goals forever ago Janis: long as you keep your speculating to yourself Grace: obvs I'm not that stupid Grace: or mean Janis: just saying Janis: it is really messed up Janis: wonder where she is Grace: did he tell you anything? Janis: they don't know anything Grace: Oh Grace: poor Bobby Janis: I know Janis: still Janis: Jim looks after him really well Grace: yeah he talked about him like non-stop at the fair Grace: it's nice that they have each other Janis: it is Janis: hard for him sometimes though Grace: obvs he can't just do whatever he wants Grace: unless I'm babysitting Janis: and with his job Janis: we're spoilt brats, like Grace: maybe I'll get one Grace: keep me busy Janis: I'd like one Janis: but I'd definitely throw coffee over people like you so Janis: gotta think Grace: rude but v true Grace: there's like lots of stuff at the sports centre you could do Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah maybe Janis: not the worst idea Grace: I'm mostly fake stupid Janis: leave that off the job applications Grace: idk what I'd even apply for anyway so Janis: you could do anything retail Grace: they want girls who look good in the clothes Janis: you do, you daft cow Grace: on like 1 day out of 7 Grace: I can't maintain that much gym time Janis: 🙄 Janis: alright, you could be a teasgirl in a salon or something Grace: maybe but lots of girls wanna do that Janis: yeah but every job gets more applicants than it needs Janis: worth a shot, if you wanna Grace: sure Janis: work on your resume later though, yeah Janis: on the clock here Grace: I'll make dad do it Janis: hasn't he got catering to be planning Grace: okay fine mum then Janis: surely she has a lovely big 👒 to buy Grace: yeah but we'll fit it around the shopping trips duh Janis: 🙄 Janis: gross Grace: you don't have to come, babes Janis: made it pretty clear I won't be Grace: yeah Janis: you know anyone who'd want some meth, like Grace: that's not funny thank you Janis: it ain't Janis: made a right dent in my back pocket, like Grace: so you better start job hunting Janis: I'll find a buyer Grace: Janis Janis: what Grace: you can't sell drugs Janis: not gonna make it my career Grace: just throw it away Grace: it's freaking me out that you even still have it Janis: not gonna waste it Janis: it's fine Grace: OMG how is it fine??! Grace: you could get murdered Janis: not for this much Janis: didn't go that crazy Grace: people get killed for their phones Janis: alright after school special Janis: worry 'bout yourself then, never off yours, you'd be fucked Grace: excuse me for not wanting you dead Grace: & I dropped mine so it is Janis: unlucky Janis: excuse to say you've lost all their numbers though Grace: that was obvs my plan not just a clumsy bitch 🙄🙄 Janis: 👌 Janis: less believeable than you getting a boy to stick for 7 weeks but we'll roll with it Grace: UM rude Grace: it's 7 boys, lasting a week Janis: 😏 7 dickheads for the price of 1, whatever Grace: even I can keep a boy for a week Janis: the real questions Grace: it's not a q, I can Janis: LOL Grace: stop being a bitch & let me in Janis: finally Grace: ILY too babes Janis: yeah yeah Grace: & you're so welcome 💜 Janis: shut up I'm coming as fast as I can alright Grace: it's literally raining btw Janis: let's hope dickhead ain't planned a picnic Grace: 😂😂 Grace: 💔

[neuropathicgypsy]

I've been remembering things... like a normal person... and unlike a normal person and forgetting things also...

I keep remembering when Matt's grandpa saw me at Putt-Putt... at least twice.

The first time he kept touching me while I was playing this kiss the frog game... enough to where I punched him and pushed him nearly down cause he kept touching me behind me where I couldn't see him and then he grabbed my arm that's when I pushed him

Then he acted like nothing happened and asked me how I played the game. I told him I would move and he could play that's when he pushed against me again and I told him to wait and i would move and he said he didn't even want to play he just wanted to know how.

What the fuck was that shit? He walked away cause he was already Hurt cause I didn't look at him Like I play the games he does.

Then I saw him again on Joe's daughter's birthday and he was behind the counter and we had this whole discussion, Joe and I did about who he was and he just kept going off so he then pretended like he was Joe's dad.

He left the same time we did... I was there with my ex husband and daughter in my exhusbands car... I sat in the back seat because we were going to get divorced but I didn't trust him alone with my daughter so we did family things so I could make sure they could be social together and she could be safe.

Then another time in my parents town we went to walmart... which wasn't normal for us and we parked far from the doors and there was plenty of room near the doors... and when we left there was a white rental car parked next to ours but way closer than I felt should be normal... and I was all super paranoid while my kid got in the car and stood on her side of the car while she got in... a lot because she got startled by him... sitting in the car... on a laptop.

I knew it was the same guy I thought was Joe's dad.

But then i saw a photo of Matt's grandpa not too long ago...

Tonight I asked Matt.... are you sure I was pregnant with you kids and it wasn't your grandpa? Cause it really seems like your grandpa is a rapist and I don't remember getting pregnant by you and shouldn't that be something I remember?

I remember getting pregnant with my daughter and I must say it wasn't the best sex in my life and in fact I was quite tired and wasn't really into it but...

But I sense all this general badness wi th my getting pregnant earlier ...

I mean... my mom did get all crazy when she realized I was and we had to call the cops....

And we were in a lot of foster homes...

But it doesn't seem right...

---

His answer is: Matt your gramma will read that..

well it didn't stop him from getting his ass beat when his wife was at the putt-putt with him and their friends. I think she should know the truth about what her husband does. Quit hiding behind children. It also explains why the infants were murdered. Because before I couldn't understand. I've been thinking about it at least once a week for months.

----

So now Matt says we had had sex after I was pregnant, in a new foster Home and I had said "finally the first time we have had sex..." and I was very tired so I didn't finish

Matt thinks he's funny so he says "what?!? Those aren't my kids?!"

And I didn't know what to say because back then, I had amnesia a good portion of the time... I had gotten pregnant in the summer then sent back to my parents house to start school. And i no longer could button my pants and I knew zipping them up part of the way wasn't going to last long and I had to tell my mom I needed new clothes and it seemed like there was some alien weirdness inside me.

So then MATT also likes attention so he called everyone he knew to brag he had had sex.... and his grandpa said something about finding out when the DNA came out whose kids they were, his or his.

And Matt said "what are you telling me, you have been raping my woman?!"

And his grandpa snap hissed, "I told you I had sex with her, didn't i?!?"

He's that old plantation type that comes from negro slaves and that sort although his family was poorer than his wife's, he understood that a "man" got his sex however he pleased and a woman had no right to disobey him. Although if his negros went on strike and didn't do all his work for him, he'd been a poor man with nothing to his name so Idk who he thought he was that his duck was made of gold plated stainless steel cause it sure wasn't anything I'd write home about except to say everyone should stay away from it...

So to this terrible old white man, rape and sex was the same thing. If he was willing then she should be, too. And if she wasn't then she had her own problems that didn't matter to him and never will.

His problems don't matter to me, either. So whatever Matt's gramma has to do, his gramma has to do.

And his gramma has always known. That's why we went to foster care, I'm quite sure.

The story always was that since I was pregnant we had to be removed from the custodial care. Maybe my mom threw a fit but really she didn't and doesn't like me much so idk. But it didn't matter either because my dad had the upper hand being military and my father. And her just being a bitch.

And so the story was since I was pregnant the people we were with (his family and mine) didn't pay enough attention to us for us to be safe.

But we had sex in the foster hones and they knew and that was supposed to be the whole reason we had to be in foster care, because we had had sex.

And we were always placed together.

I know his gramma knew so this ass hole grandpa all saying "your grand MA is gonna read that matt" as if matts grandma's feelings had ever mattered to him is absolutely ridiculous.

"I told you I had sex with her didn't I boy" as an answer to "you raped her" ..... rape culture should never had a place in our history and shouldn't have a place in our future

---

His gramma is all distressed and I'm like what is the problem didn't you go to the lawyer?

And she's all yes I called but he said he can't see me till next week.

I told her do you can just do one online and it's not a big deal.

She says that's what Matt had told her.

So I ask Matt well did you? She seems really worried and he said yeah and you know my grandpa isn't home.

She said that he said he will come home immediately.

(Because obviously his 4th family isn't as important as making sure he gets his money)

So I'm all what's that short little man going to do to you.

She said something I can't quite remember

And I said "oh he's like Matt, he's got that Hagan charm, makes you want to forgive him as if it was that easy"

Then we go on and she can get all th documents to file for divorce quite easily and since his family was poor and her father protective of his daughter and his family assets she could file and leave him with nearly nothing.

Since he's got multiple families across the country I don't see why he should continue to scrounge off her.

Of course he would do the whole verbal abuse calling her a scrooge and all... but really what's worse the truth or manipulation? Always the truth otherwise there would be no manipulation

He is a rapist no one likes. He's a rapist which means he forces people to have sex with him.

She tried to protect me, Matt and babies she probably never met and he calls her a scrooge. Which is absolutely untrue. She sacrificed great grandchildren and her grandchild of a son whom was murdered and still her seriously scrooge manipulation husband had her great grandchildren killed because he didn't want to lose her money.

So since he did that then I think that absolutely she should divorce him and let him call her Scrooge cause the real scrooge is him and he has destroyed many lives for his own greed and to keep wealth that wasn't his.

Instead of allowing his ass to take money for his greed and multiple families and gambling she could create a charity or memorial or scholarships or all of the above and more.

And then we will all know who is really the Scrooge.