#if i even try to explain my thought process for this one i'll sound nuts

[mering]

‘Do ‘You know nothing? Do you see nothing? Do you remember ‘Nothing?’

[fob4ever]

patrick stump & neal avron on tape notes podcast (12.15.23)

songwriting stuff, demos, lyric process, a bunch of things! they talk about the songs lftos, heaven iowa and smfsd.

long summary under the cut!

talked about how they sat outside “emo” because they leaned more towards hiphop/rnb, but also how they didn’t fit in the “pop” genre too and how they would be put on pop shows and “comparatively it was like slayer was playing” lmao “but we’re still a pop band!”

they experimented with reggae and 90s shoegaze and hardcore during the pandemic

they recorded most of stardust together in neal’s house :D at the beginning it was mostly just neal and patrick working together, at the end of the day everybody would come in to listen

patrick said he got “kinda obsessed” with streamlining pete’s lyrics in the chorus over the past few albums: “pete is very wordy. he has all these ideas that take up a lot of space.” and that their manager sat him down at lunch and said “don't do that. you guys used to ramble. why don't you ramble?” and lftos was the first song patrick put together after that convo

lftos writing process: patrick followed what he was feeling, and most of what he did in that song were things that years spent working in pop music had scared him off on doing.

the “every lover's got a little dagger in their hand” lyric tied it all together for patrick: “[i was] singing that line and EAGERLY emailing neal: listen to this!”

they play a little of the lftos demo (16:55). it's wild. VERY guitar-forward

“neal and i lost most of the demos for [folie a deux].” the burning of the library of alexandria. to me

talks about how the folie demos were infinitely stranger than the final versions, “psychedelic at times”

for stardust, they didn't really keep much of the demo stuff- patrick: “and my demos are pretty decent!”

lftos piano demo (21:35)

patrick: i want some drama. when i look back at our records, our best ones start off with a sense of melodrama

they play individual parts of the lftos instrumentation (31:25), andy's drums, pete's bass, joe's guitar. <3

bridges are patrick's favorite thing to write, because he just gets to play

patrick: "pete doesn't even send lyrics in lyric-form, he just sends words. and it's interesting when you see it- it's almost like one-liner after one-liner. and i'll just get an email of those, and then you kinda have to figure out what thematically goes together, what feels like the same song. but then i also try to keep lyrics together as much as possible, because i feel he's in a place where it does feel like one thought."

"when i read it, there's almost a passive thing where i just imagine what it sounds like to me. and [the lyrics for heaven, iowa] scared me a lot, because it felt kind of sparse, and i don't really like sparse- i don't really like singing by myself. [...] i don't like being so front and center, and i could tell that there was something really intimate about this song, and it was a big challenge for me."

everybody immediately went for the heaven, iowa demo- it's from the first stardust session and it took the longest to complete because patrick wasn't satisfied with just his voice over keys- "it was too naked."

patrick doesn't ask pete about lyrics because: "first off, he will not explain things. but second off, i think there is something to that. where i'll read his lyrics, and i'll interpret it one way, and years later i'll realize it's another way. there's so many double entendres that i've only gotten decades later, i'll be singing and go, 'OH it's a sex thing.'"

patrick really attaches to the story of a lyric, the craft of it, and then years later he'll be like "oh that was a HEAVY lyric. [and] pete must have felt that thing! i don't really question it when i'm writing- it's kindof unfair on him, like, should i check on him?"

heaven iowa instrumental demo/instruments isolated (53:30)

patrick would tell joe to "go nuts" on heaven, iowa!

neal talks about the ambient guitar pedal joe plays during heaven iowa and how it worked really well. patrick says this was the kind of thing that saved (the song).

patrick and andy double drummed at the same time in the studio for heaven iowa! <3

pete told joe to go "full slash" at the end of heaven iowa : )

patrick almost didn't send out the demo for the title track, smfsd! he was almost sure no one was going to like it, even though he liked it. but he sent it out, and it "kept surviving"

both patrick and neal brushed smfsd off because they assumed they "couldn't do that", but pete really pushed for it, which surprised patrick.

so much for stardust demo (1:25:07) patrick plays drums on it, sloppily. which he freely admits to lol. it is quite sloppy indeed

patrick: "i'm a drummer too, but andy and i are very different drummers. and it's very cool translating our things between each other, because he comes from metal (...) and i'm more a funk drummer."

lotsa joe layering in heaven iowa and smfsd : )

it was patrick's idea to do a lyrical callback in lftos/smfsd, and pete was hesitant about it. but patrick pushed for it, becasuse it made sense as "story beats"- "it's like 'empire strikes back'!"

patrick doesn't like to putz around the studio that much, he just wants to be recording something.

patrick: "my routine [during the writing of the album] was just to make it to the studio as on time as i can be- i have adhd, it's very difficult- but i'd be there within 10-15 minutes of when i was supposed to be there, and then we'd just work through it."

patrick's advice: FROM ELTON JOHN: when you find your producer that understands you, stick with them. patrick: "and that was on a record we didn't do with neal, and i remember thinking [makes unsure noises]..." also prioritize in the short-term, what's important. take a step back.

neal's advice: if music is your passion, do it, and do it all the time

patrick was afraid people wouldn't like him "rambling" in songs, even though it was honest and natural to him. he was terrified of doing it again, thinking people wouldn't like it. but people did! "don't subvert yourself too much."

the host asks for them to choose a stardust song to close out the podcast, and patrick chooses what a time to be alive :)

the end

[according2thelore]

wait i have more to say. i saw someone else say that youre their favorite wincest writer and i just need to raise my hand and say ME TOO!!!!

i only VERY recently admitted to my best friend that i ship them and when i was reading house song i was going NUTS and i NEEDED to talk about it. so i ended up sending my friend a 10 minute long voice message going through the plot and how beautifully written it is and how its fucking me up!!!!!! im going crazy and shaking dean just SHOT HIS DAD!!!!!!!!! AND IT WAS BELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!! and my friend was like holy fuck that fic sounds crazy but in a good way and they dont ship it but i think they at least get it now lmfao because wow.

and deans guilt over the life he has given sam. an orphan living on a mattress with no money and just his fucked up older brother. goddamn. i want to hug dean. and sam thinking the worst that dean left him like dad. but then ultimately realizing there is literally NOTHING dean wouldnt do to reach him. its just so cathartic and OH THE FLASHBACK TO BABY SAM. ‘no boo boos?’ ARE YOU KIDDING ME? and then then the parallel because sam is covered in blood again and it ISNT HIS. NO BOO BOOS!!!!!!! but he is so so so hurt oh my goddddd

im sorry im so feral about you i just dont have the magical talent with words that you do. like deans admission and saying that the word falls out of his mouth like a dead body hits the ground????? how can i even attempt to match your beautiful fucking mind. ugh. i wont recover from this. your an inspiration for real. okay i will leave you alone now thank you for the brain worms

HELLO!!

GUH the hits keep COMING!!!!!!

i am giggling and kicking my feet that you explained my fic to a FRIEND HOLY SHIT!!!!! oh to hear this voice message lol <3

i had to read this ask series out loud to charlotte, who was also giggling and kicking her feet on my behalf.

i am so glad you found it believable! that was one of the biggest struggles for me, and i liked the boys' characterization in this one, so i'm so sososo happy that you did too!!!!!

i've never done this before, but i thought since you like it, you might find the planning process interesting! i don't do outlines for all of my fics, just the really hefty ones (the heaven fic, this one, and a few others), and i've found this helps me a lot! you can see some things that i've cut or changed. charlotte and i usually plan these out over face time, lol, and she was mostly asleep through this entire planning one (in her defense, she had been working all day). i hope you find it interesting!

i hope you don't think less of me now that you know i wrote that they "boink" 🙏 it was like two in the morning. also handwriting reveal? omg?

anon, i've said it before but i'll say it again--THANK YOU SO MUCH🥺🥺🥺🥺 uno reverse card as well bc folks like you encourage/inspire authors to keep writing!

i always love hearing which parts folks like best, and this fed me for months to come!!!!!!

and please feel welcome to come back and scream with me about these two any time the mood hits you, lol!

-lizzy BELIEVE IT OR NOT BECAUSE ANON IS TRYING TO MELT ME this is 2/3!!!!!!

(house song, the fic in question for anyone curious!)

[huggybug]

You had gotten home from the game before Nick did. The game was extremely eventful with big hits and fights. Of course your boyfriend getting into a scrap with a guy pretty much double his size. It freaked you out a bit but at the same time you couldn't help but be turned on. You couldn't explain it but every time Nick laid a hard hit and got scrappy, it just gave you this aching sensation all over.

Nick threw his keys on the counter as he entered the house. He lets out an exhausted breath as he looks over at you. The knuckles on his right hand were bandaged up, blood starting to seep through.

"I am so fucking sore" Nick says running a hand through his hair, still damp from his shower.

You walk over to him wrapping your arms around his torso. "Let's change those bandages then I'll give you a massage before bed. How does that sound?" You ask

A smile grows on his face, he kisses your forehead. "That sounds perfect"

You take his hand and lead him upstairs. He changes into something more comfortable before he meets you in the bathroom. He takes a seat on the closed toilet as he watches you grab everything you needed. You gently grab his hand and slowly start unwrapping it.

Once you get the bandages off you examine his wounds across his knuckles  "You're crazy babe" Your focus still on his hand as you start to clean it.

Nick smiles as he admires you taking care of him. "Why's that?" He asks still watching you.

You meet his eyes but can't keep the contact. Your mimd going back to when he threw those punches and stuck up for himself. It made you go nuts, it had to be the most non sexual thing he did that turned you on. That and the way he laid the opposing players out on the ice. But he didn't know that nor did he need to know.

"Y/N?" He says taking you out of your thoughts.

You come back to reality. "Because Nick you're not exactly the tallest guy out there. You can't be just throw punches at guys who tower over you. And you're not even an enforcer, don't try and be one. Let them handle it"

"So you want me to just stand there? Take the hits or cross checks in hopes my teammates take care of it for me."

Gently starting to wrap his hand. You lick your lips before answering. "Well, no. I just don't wanna see you being flopped around out there."

"Then I gotta do what I gotta do" There was a moment of silence as you finished wrapping his hand. "But you like when I do it" He says smirking taking his hand off the counter, moving it around.

"No, it freaks me out" You lie

He gives you a look as he tilts his head. "You sure? You don't find it hot or anything?" He smirks again. He was catching on to you.

You lick your lips. "N-no. You give me a heart attack every time you put yourself in those situations."

He steps closer. He pushes your hair behind your ear and leans in closer. Lips just an inch away from your ear."I know you're lying" Your breath hitches "The way you can't look me in the eyes, gives it away" He leaves a light kiss just in front of your ear. His lips then hover over yours. He knew he was right.

You go to speak but nothing comes out. He smirks and kisses you softly at first. You press yourself against his bare chest deepening the kiss. Nick hums into the kiss as he slowly backs up into the bedroom. In the process of getting to the bed you lost your shirt.

He backs into the bed and sits at the edge. You stand between his legs as you continue to make out. Nick's hands run up your thighs and over your ass. He gives your ass a light squeeze before you climb into his lap. Straddling him, you to feel him grow under you. Smirking into the kiss, you start to grind on him.

Low groans escape his mouth between kisses. His hands holding just above your hips. He must have had enough because in seconds he was flipping you over.

"I thought you were sore?" You question him

"Don't worry about me" He says with a smirk

Hovering over you he begins to kiss down your neck. As he hits your sensitive spot you arch your back towards him and he’s able to unclasps your bra.

Nick suddenly gets off the bed. He turns to you grabbing your waistband and pulling your pants and underwear off. After he discards his sweats. He re-positions himself between your legs. Running his tip between your folds as he watches you squirm.

He pushes into you and slowly starts to thrust in and out. He leans down over you and kisses by your ear again.

"This is too gentle for you, isn't it?" He says before sitting back up and looking at you. A smirk plastered on his face

You look up at him with pleading eyes. He knew you wanted more but you were going to have to use your words.

"Nick, please" You whimper

He grabs your hips "Please what? What do you want baby?" He teases

"I want you to fuck me so hard. Please” You beg him

Nick didn’t say anything. His grip got tighter and he started pounding into you. Your mouth fell open as you threw your head back. You grab at Nick’s biceps, digging your nails into them.

“You like that so much better don’t you?” He says as he thrusts in and out causing you to be numb.

Nothing coming out of your mouth but you nod. He lets go of your hips and leans towards you. Holding himself up on his hands. His chain falling just above your face. He continues to thrust as you wrap your legs around him.

“Fuck…Just like that” You breathe out.

Nick kisses you hard. Groaning into the kiss as you were getting close. Wrapping your arms around him keeping him against your body.

“You close baby girl?” He asks you feeling your walls clamp around his dick.

“So fucking close” You groan

Nick break free from your arms and sits up thrusting harder into you. Getting you there faster. You hips buck up into him as you reach your high. Letting out a mouthful of curse words he fucks you through it.

Moments later Nick pounds into again hard and quick. His last few thrusts sloppier as he fills you up with his load. He leans down and kisses you before flipping down on the bed beside you. As you sit there catch your breath. Your legs start to shake.

Looking over at Nick he doesn’t say anything he’s just smirking away. Before he’s getting up to grab a towel to clean you up.

“I’m gonna ask you again. You like it when I get rough in games, don’t you?” He asks as he cleans you up.

You don’t say anything as your face goes red and hide under a pillow. Nick laughs “So yeah?”

-nick smut anon

sorry no warning. wasn’t fun having to do a rewrite but i honestly think this was better than what i originally had. looove youuuu :)

omg i just saw this-

[kpop-cakepops]

Soulmate: Bells (part 1) // JeonghanxFem!Reader

Ummmmm so mayhaps this ended up being WAY LONGER THAN INTENDED AND WILL HAVE A 2ND PART.

Genre: IDK how to explain it other than VERY light angst mixed with fluff.

Warnings: none

Word count: 3,573 🙊

"I'm sorry Jeonghan... I really thought this would work out. I thought that this soulmate thing wasn't going to sway me" Sowon couldn't maintain eye contact with Jeonghan as she spoke.

"What do you mean?" He asked with a trembling voice.

"Jeonghan... I found my soulmate... and as much as I fought it, everything in me gave up..." She said

Soulmates. It seemed that the older he grew the more he hated the term. Soulmates? Who in their right mind would believe that a little sound you heard on your sixteenth birthday would lead you to the person you were meant to be with for the rest of your life?

Sowon, apparently.

Despite having sworn to each other that soulmates would not make them waver, despite swearing to be together no matter what, no matter how hard and bumpy the road got... yet there she was sitting across from him, telling him she had given up on all those promises.

"Are you telling me you cheated on me?" He asked.

Sowon's eyes met the ground, but the more she refused to talk the more it dawned on Jeonghan, she had. She had cheated on him.

"Sowon-"

"I'm sorry! Please, I'm so sorry. It was the last thing I wanted to do but I couldn't stop myself... Jeonghan it's real. I heard it, the sound of glass clinking against glass. It sounds ridiculous because it's such a trivial thing to hear, but the sound made everything feel so clear, it was like my heart just knew and... Jeonghan, I love him. I don't even know him, but there's this- this part of me that I just can't control. I want to! I want to know him" she cried out. Jeonghan felt like all air had been kicked out of him. How was he meant to respond to that? He'd never experienced what Sowon was talking about, he couldn't even bring himself to imagine it... all he knew was that he didn't want to lose her. "I can't do this to you and I can't do it to him either. I'm sorry... we need to break up"

Tears pricked at Jeonghan's eyes as he watched the girl he loved the most stand from her seat and walk away from him.

That was the last time he saw her.

***

"Turns out his soulmate is a guy named Wonwoo... and he's so much prettier than me too! I seriously, cannot believe this is happening to me again... I was convinced I was his soulmate" you held your phone between your ear and your shoulder as you struggled to pull out a book from its place on the bookshelf. It had been a week since you'd tried to convince Mingyu that he was your soulmate, only for him to find his real soulmate a few days after meeting you.

"Maybe you should stop trying to force every pretty person around you to be your soulmate, Mingyu's bell wasn't even like yours, he was waiting to hear a bike bell and you didn't even hear your bell either, and NO someone yelling Taco Bell isn't a bell. Are you nuts?" Your best friend Soonyoung was on the line eating something as he yelled at you. It was a cycle he was both annoyed with and used to, but he understood. After spending most of your life alone, he understood why you were so adamant about finding your soulmate, the person that was meant to be with you for the rest of your life. The person who would rid you of the fear of dying alone and in pain like those who were never able to meet their soulmates because that's how this world worked. No matter how much you tried, sometimes meeting the one person that was meant to love you, was an impossible task.

"Okay so maybe I didn't hear the bell but I heard a bell" you insisted as you tugged harshly at the book finally managing to free it from its spot but dropping it in the process. You scurried quickly to grab it but a pair of dainty hands beat you to it and pushed the book up to you.

"Thank you" you murmured not paying any attention and walking straight past the stranger.

"You're welcome" answered Soonyoung, and it was almost like she could hear his shit-eating grin.

"Shut up, I wasn't-" you were cut off by the sound of a tinkling bell as the door to the small book store swung open, and suddenly, as if by art of magic everything around you seemed to stop. It was like one of those five gum commercials, at least that's the only thing you could compare it to. All your senses were alive and you couldn't help but feel... aware... of what, you didn't know, but you felt aware. You were reverted to your 16th birthday, sitting alone in your large dining room with no one but your nanny and the sound of a hopeful bell ringing in your mind marking you for the future. "Wait... wait Soonyoung, I heard it. That was it. I heard the bell" you said as turned around quickly to find the person that had just handed you your book.

Your best friend groaned on the other side of the line "Oh god... are you being serious right now? Are you seriously doing this again?"

"Shit... Shit shit shit, where is he? I lost him. He was right behind me-" you rushed over to the spot where you'd dropped the book but no one was there anymore. Then it hit you... the door. The door opened and closed only moments after he handed the book to you, he must have walked out. "Oh no... he left!" You dropped your book and rushed out the door, your phone still in hand as a sense of panic started to fill you.

"Soonyoung, I can't find him. It was him and I don't know what he looks like!" you were starting to freak out. How could you miss him like that? You were also confused. Wasn't the sound supposed to be automatic? As soon as the two of you met the sound was supposed to trigger... for the two of you so why wasn't he there? Were you mistaken?

"Wait, Y/N are you being serious right now?"

"Yes! Soonyoung, it was the bell, but I missed him. Oh god, NOW WHAT?!" You asked as you walked down the sidewalk, eyes roaming every single person in sight in case anything... special or magical happened, but it was to no avail. No one seemed to do anything for her.

"Y/N are you sure you're not just-"

You cut your best friend off in annoyance. "I'll call you back later, I need to find this guy" you grumbled quickly hanging up the call after. You really couldn't find him, he had been in front of you just moments before but he'd disappeared almost as he'd come. A second wave of panic passed you as you looked around helplessly. Tears were pricking at your eyes because despite being childish and immature most of the time, the feeling you got when hearing that bell was nothing like anything you'd felt before... and yet... your soulmate didn't look for you. Your soulmate should have heard the bell too, right? So where was he?

Slowly your biggest fear started materializing before you in the shape of nothingness, in the shape of loneliness. Your soulmate didn't seem to want you or at least didn't seem to care enough to come back and find you.

Except, he had found you. Your very soulmate was staring at you from the bookstore's window with a gaze of confusion, a part of him hated that your sole existence meant he couldn't choose love for himself, that because of the woman on the other side of the glass he could no longer be with the person he chose. That he was predestined to love someone he knew nothing about... yet the other half of him felt an unexplainable urge to walk up to you and hug you like he'd missed you his whole life. Of walking up to you and wiping away the tears you were earnestly trying to hide as you stared at every single person that walked by.

That's why Jeonghan found himself avoiding the bookstore like the plague after that day. He would walk by on occasion wondering if it'd be okay to walk in, but then he'd see you sitting outside the shop waiting for something to happen, and he'd turn right back around. Eventually, you stopped showing up, and although he'd never stopped to talk to you, Jeonghan subconsciously wondered where you'd gone and if you were okay.

After a month of not going, Jeonghan finally dropped by the bookstore when Joshua called him to help him with a new shipment. His friend had grown increasingly curious as to why Jeonghan had been avoiding the store when it seemed the store had been his safe haven since his heart-wrenching breakup.

"Mind telling me what you've been up to lately?" Asked Joshua when the last customer was out the door.

"Studying for exams" Jeonghan lied as he moved the stack of books to be donated into a box.

"Alone?" Asked Joshua curiously.

"Yes alone, who else would I study with?" Asked Jeonghan as he moved his floppy red hair out of his face.

"Oh... alright" Joshua answered.

Unable to hold it in, Jeonghan's best friend spoke again. "I found my soulmate," he said. Joshua knew it was a touchy topic for Jeonghan, but he was his best friend and it was important for him that Jeonghan know.

The red-haired man cleared his throat uncomfortably, he had found his too, but that was not something he necessarily felt like sharing with the world. He had tried convincing himself he was keeping it a secret to show that he was in control of his own mind and emotions, but in reality, he was scared and embarrassed. Scared that he'd be proven wrong about you, that you'd be everything he wanted and dreamed of, and embarrassed that due to his own capriciousness he was hurting you.

"Okay" was all that Jeonghan could muster at the news.

"I want you to meet her," said Joshua as he put unsold books into the same box Jeonghan had been filling.

This caused Jeonghan to pause for a moment. Joshua wanted him to meet his soulmate, "what for?"

Joshua sighed and stood up straight, his big eyes looking straight at his friend. "Because she's important to me and you are my best friend. I want you both to get to know each other."

Unable to say no to his best friend, Jeonghan nodded his head, "okay."

The lack of drive in his usually playful best friend worried Joshua and it pained him to know that if he even tried to bring the worries up, Jeonghan would simply disappear for a few more weeks again. "I invited her out for dinner, her friend will be coming too, so you don't have to worry about third-wheeling"

With a thin forced smile, Jeonghan stood and dusted his hands in front of himself. "Okay"

By the time they finished packing up the boxes, Jeonghan was ushered out of the store. He watched as his friend turned the "open" sign over and locked the door. Subconsciously, Jeonghan's eyes stopped on the silver bell hanging from the door. Memories of the way you had looked on that day, panicked and frantic as you searched the area for him. It made him wonder yet again, what you were up to and if everything was okay with you.

The wait at the restaurant wasn't long. It only took about 5 minutes for a girl to walk in with a bright smile on her face, one that was instantly matched by Joshua's the moment he lay eyes on her. "Hey" she greeted happily.

Jeonghan was too busy watching the two interact to even notice the way you'd followed Joshua's soulmate into the restaurant like a dejected little shadow. The truth was, you hadn't exactly planned on being there. You had been spending the last few weeks feeling sorry for yourself and ignoring your two best friends, for some reason you had started to get comfortable with that way of life, that is until In-na came barging into your home squealing about her soulmate... you couldn't exactly say no to her invitation, and free dinner wasn't exactly a bad idea.

And then you sat down.

You didn't notice him at first. When In-na had told you you'd be meeting her soulmate, you hadn't been thrilled, it almost felt like a slap to the face, but you knew your friend better than to believe her to be evil like that. You knew she had good intentions in mind when she told you her soulmate would be inviting his best friend so you wouldn't feel too much like a third-wheel. It was rude of you, for sure, but since the moment you sat you'd been on your phone texting Soonyoung about how much you hated being there, and trying to convince him to pick you up, but Soonyoung was ignoring you for ignoring him.

"This is my best friend, Y/N" you heard In-na introduce you and for the first time since you'd arrived, you were forced to face the two guys in front of you.

And then you wished you hadn't.

It was him. Everything in your being was SCREAMING that it was him. Every fiber in you knew that the man with hair dyed a deep red, that was sitting across from you at that very moment was him. But something was wrong with him. His big droopy eyes looked like a flashlight that had run out battery, all signs of light were gone and something in you stirred. Was it sadness? Worry? You couldn't pinpoint it.

Then there was Jeonghan, who, unbeknownst to you, saw almost a reflection of himself when he saw you. The burnt-out gaze and the bags under your eyes, except he was the cause for your sadness and then something in him stirred, but unlike you, he knew exactly what it was.

Guilt.

Jeonghan was about to excuse himself to leave but you beat him to it by painting a smile on your face, "nice to meet you guys"

You were mad. Angry. Fuming. He was pretending to not know you. He had pretended from the start because you could tell, even if you didn't want to, you could read him like a book because, despite him not wanting it, you two were entwined for life. Quite literally biologically wired to be together, because that's how society worked, that's how it had worked for centuries.

"Nice to meet you too" greeted Joshua softly, but his eyes we not set on you, just like In-Na's weren't. They were soulmates, after all, they were blind to the world around them... and it was simply disappointing how unlike them you and Jeonghan were.

Dinner was long, the energy emanating from you was directly absorbed by the man sitting across from you. He was uncomfortable, the way you were acting just didn't seem to sit well with him. From the way you picked at your food without taking a single bite, to the way you looked like you would rather be anywhere but where you sat, he felt... worried?

"Who wants ice cream?" Asked In-na and Joshua who, contrary to the 2 extras sitting beside them, were having the time of their lives. You wanted so badly to say you didn't want ice cream, to tell her to take you home, but the light blush that spread across your friend's cheeks and the almost sparkly gaze Joshua stared at her with, didn't allow you to make such a request. So instead you remained silent, and to no one's surprise so did Jeonghan.

"I know a great place, I'll go pay for the food, and then I'll drive us there," Joshua announced.

With that, he walked in direction of the front counter, leaving behind the love of his life and the two dysfunctional soulmates that refused to so much as look at each other. "Isn't he amazing? Isn't he, Y/N?" In-na gushed.

You smiled genuinely, if anything good had come out of that dinner it was the amount of joy it brought your best friend. "He's awesome, In-na. You two really are made for one another"

She clasped your hand in hers and grinned softly. "Thank you for coming. I promise we'll find your soulmate soon" she mentioned mindlessly. It was beyond frustrating to see Jeonghan lift his head from the corner of your eyes, his expression almost clueless.

"I'm going to go outside, I need to make a call real quick, yeah?"

In-na nodded, but you doubted she even heard what you said as her eyes were trained on the man paying at the front counter. With a sigh, you stepped out of your seat and took yourself out of the restaurant. The fresh air outside and the fact that you were no longer around Jeonghan seemed to decompress your lungs.

As if on autopilot, your fingers tapped at the screen of your phone calling Soonyoung.

"I don't know if you realize this, but I'm ignoring you" the man on the other end snapped as he answered the phone.

Hearing his voice made your heart twist in relief because despite being a dumb jerk sometimes, Soonyoung was your best friend. He was your comfort and that's precisely what you needed: comfort. "Soonyoung..." you hadn't noticed you were on the verge of tears until you spoke his name.

All signs of pettiness were gone from his voice as he answered, "y/n. Are you crying?"

"Listen, I get that you're upset with me, but I really, really, need you to come pick me up" you begged, forcing yourself to swallow the lump in your throat. "I promise you can go right back to ignoring me once you drop me off home"

"Where are you? I'll be there in 5 minutes."

"I'll send you the address. Just please come."

You hung up the call, hands wiping at your eyes quickly until a hand reached out before you, the same hand that had handed you a book back then, except this time it was handing you a tissue. You sniffle a bit before snatching it from him and blowing your nose obnoxiously.

Jeonghan didn't say anything as you both stood side by side waiting for Soonyoung to pick you up. He was still feeling guilty, but what exactly was he supposed to say? I'm in love with someone else? No, of course not, because the more he watched you, the more he forgot what Sowon looked and sounded like, and the more he stood in your proximity feeling all types of emotions... the more he forgot what 'loving' Sowon had ever felt like. Was he supposed to tell you that he hated you for something that was entirely out of your, his, and even Sowon's control when all he could focus on was how nice your hair smelled and how good the warmth of your body felt even when he wasn't touching you?

Exactly 5 minutes went by in loud silence until a car drove up to the curve. You pushed yourself off the wall you'd been leaning on and turned to look at your sullen soulmate, who had instinctively followed suit stepping away from the wall in alarm. You huffed in frustration as you watched him. You wanted to tell him off so badly, and yet his big eyes were now telling you he was just as confused as you about all the sudden feelings you were both feeling, you were so flustered you ended up walking away. Then you thought about it twice and turned right back around and stopped right before Jeonghan, your hand grabbing his causing his eyes to meet yours directly for the first time that night. "You, if you run away again and pretend to not know me, I will find you and... I don't know what I'll do yet, but Joshua will tell me where you are. I will make sure of it." you warned him, "bye." The bite in your words made him wince.

He wanted to answer and maybe even apologize but you didn't give him a chance to as you walked up to the car that was waiting for you across the street. A man within the car was glaring at him through squinted eyes, surely he was trying to intimidate Jeonghan, but all Soonyoung really did was make Jeonghan uncomfortable.

"Stop staring at him and drive" you grumbled bringing your friend back to reality.

At that moment both In-na and Joshua stepped out of the restaurant with bright smiles. "Where's Y/N?" asked In-na, big eyes searching the area for you.

Jeonghan didn't find it in him to answer her. The buzzing feeling in the hand you'd held was too intriguing to him.

"Can I have her address?" Jeonghan blurted.

The couple stared at him as if he'd grown a third head. "Um, why would you need that?" asked his best friend in confusion.

Because maybe having a soulmate isn't as bad as I'd thought it'd be.

[ari-shipping-stuff]

Nuts and Volts Week

Day One

Modern AU

———

never thought this would be my first post lmao

just note, if any of the characters in these oneshots are ooc, please don't hurt me bc it's definitely my first time writing them

Please enjoy my self-indulgent fic—

———

Arthur Watts never liked his office.

It was just… so basic. Too open. Maybe a little bright. And he had much preferred the basement. The dark, cool basement with no plastic plants, no ugly blue wallpapers.. No windows for peeping. His office, meanwhile, had all that. It wasn't even soundproof. But nonetheless, what Arthur did like was his job.

From the whirring of the gears, the clinking of steel, even when it would sometimes combust in his face. It didn't change the fact that he'd devoted his entire life into creating these machines.

Now they're going to be taken from him.

He forced his bag shut.

Ripped apart.

He gritted his teeth.

Handed over to that amateur Polendina in Atlas. His creations. Given away in mere parts. All because he testified. Now it was more than his machines he was going to lose.

Carelessly, he tossed his bag onto the glass table, hoping it would break.

He began pacing.

His shoes clacked against the perfectly polished white tiles. Cleaned this morning for the next person to work in this godforsaken office.

He stepped over several boxes, feeling too drained to even push them aside. It was as if his chest was hollow; empty. His heart gripped in the lonely hands of nothingness.

Arthur was usually a fast-paced man. Quick and efficient. Never too tired to miss any deadlines. He'd been first to finish his project out of all four competitors, giving him an extra month in the office to fiddle around and make random machines for fun. He was just so certain he'd be chosen.

But fate decided to be stupid and cruel. All his poor machines were going to take the fall now.

If there was one sentimental bone in this man's body, it would be there for the sole purpose of his work. He hated to admit he didn't want to part with these boxes or this room.

His earpiece buzzed.

"Would you quit pushing? I'd prefer you gone sooner rather than later, Arthur."

"Only my friends call me that, Cinder."

"And you have none. What's your point?"

Cinder Fall may have been an insufferable know-it-all and should have been fired instead of him, and a million different retorts could be days here. But Arthur didn't have the energy.

When she spoke again, the smirk was evident in her voice.

"I'll be sending a colleague to quicken the process. Toodles."

Arthur's jaw clenched. If only he could march into her office and give her a piece of his mind. Or a smack. Or a bullet to the mouth. Anything to shut her up, really.

There was static. Then the sound cut. It was just him and the boxes again.. And her camera in the back of the room.

Arthur sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He opened a drawer in the corner and pulled out some masking tape. Call it childish, but knowing that Cinder was watching him was.. Unnerving information.

Reaching towards the camera, he tore out a good amount of tape and covered the camera. His earpiece buzzed again.

"Arthur Watts—"

"Don't worry, Cinder, dear," Arthur smirked, falling back down to his regular height. "I'll try not to steal anything."

With that, he pulled the earpiece out and left it on the table. He turned back to the boxes.

There was a man in the doorway.

Arthur jumped back, eyebrows raised.

The man was tall, leaning leisurely against the doorframe. Stemming from his head was a long, dark braid. He fiddled with it in one hand. His smile was small, but tight and pulled back. Like he was suppressing laughter.

Arthur raised a brow, straightening himself.

"Callows," he said uncertainly. Like trying out a new word. "Right, why are you smiling?"

The grin broke across his colleague's face. He pushed himself off the doorframe, shrugging.

"Oh, nothing." he replied.

"And just how long were you standing there..?"

"Oh, not long. But.." he shook his head. "Just long enough to witness your little work of child's play there."

"I—"

"Personally, I would've broken it."

Arthur blinked at him.

Tyrian Callows was a mystery. All everyone knew about him was scarce common knowledge. Arachnologist. Entomologist. Herpetologist. Probably a serial killer in his free time. Possibly lived in his office. He might've been as work-obsessed as Arthur.

Despite this, they weren't friends. This was the first time they've spoken. Arthur found the timing of it all hilariously ironic. But now that they have finally met, he only had one thing to say—

Tyrian was an oddball. He pranced around the room, practically a child playing hopscotch. What, with his wild grin and the little 'ooh's and 'ahh's he made as he glanced into each box.

Arthur closed the door, clearing his throat.

"Cinder sent you, yes?"

"Mhm!"

Arthur blinked at the pure oddity of a man as he made himself comfortable on the glass table. Cross-legged, even.

And he remained seated.

Staring forward. Smiling calmly.

Blinking.

As you do.

Arthur cleared his throat.

"Yees, ol buddy, old pal?"

Arthur blinked.

"And you're just going to sit there."

"Apparently."

"What?"

Tyrian seemed to find this funny. He laughed. Loudly, but genuinely. Not entirely hysterical, but amused. Arthur didn't like that.

Cinder was amused when she taunted him. Ironwood was amused when Pietro Polendina stole what was his. Salem was amused as she fired him for speaking the simple truth.

Amused was mocking. Taunting. Condescending.

Tyrian doubled over, clutching his stomach. He seemed to laugh harder as Arthur glared at him, clenching his fists until there was blood between his fingernails. But he held up a hand, as if to say 'wait, don't murder me yet.'

So despite how good it would feel to punch his apparent psychopath, he decided to wait.

After a few whole minutes of laughter, it finally managed to cease. Tyrian let out a contented sigh, as if stuffed from a hearty meal.

Arthur crossed his arms and tapped his good impatiently.

"Well?" he raised an eyebrow.

Tyrian perked up, confused for a second.

"Wh-what? Oh. Right. That." he chuckled.

He uncrossed his legs, propping his elbows on his knees. He even steepled his fingers, for God's sake.

"You see, Dr. Watts, I get it."

Arthur waited.

".. You.. Get it."

"See, now you're getting it!" Tyrian clapped his hands together joyfully.

Arthur furrowed his brows at his colleague. Was this a joke? If he stared at Tyrian like this long enough, would he laugh it off, apologize, and finally explain properly? Maybe even turn sane as a bonus?

But when he started to smile and stare again, Arthur found his answer.

He didn't like it.

"I have had enough of you, Callows!" he snarled, jabbing a finger at Tyrian's chest. "Just give me a straight, coherent answer! If not, you're free to leave. It's clear you've no intention to help anyways."

Tyrian slumped, a blank expression on his face.

"So.. You don't want to cherish the time you have left with your machines?"

Arthur's posture faltered. He lowered his finger slightly.

"Wh-what?"

Tyrian shrugged, fiddling with his fingers.

"Well, I'd assumed you loved your job as much as I love mine," he paused, tapping his index fingers together. "So I also assumed you wouldn't want to part with your little machines for as long as possible."

Arthur put down his finger.

"I mean, I wouldn't want to part with Larry." Tyrian continued.

"Larry."

"My oldest scorpion. Lost his tail four weeks ago. He'll be gone in seven months without it now."

"Oh.."

"Yeah."

".. I'm sorry about that."

"Thanks. No need."

Now it was Arthur's turn to stare.

Tyrian shrugged twice. After a pause, he spoke up again.

"Fall, Rainart, even young Emerald and Mercury all have ulterior motives to accomplish once they joined this laboratory. But.. You and I, we genuinely enjoy what we do here. You love making your little machines, and I love my little venomous animals down in the basement."

Arthur hated to admit it. He really did. But somehow, this hysterical man-child really did get it.

He finally relaxed, deciding to speak up this time.

".. Venomous animals, you say?"

"Mhm!"

"Interesting. I don't suppose you could tell me all about it while we slowly.. move out the boxes?"

"Really?"

"Yes, of course. But please, do take your time."

Tyrian hopped off the table, saluting joyfully.

Arthur picked up the box closest to his feet, a smile playing on his lips. He turned the knob, about to open the door. But then he frowned.

"Wait, you own the basement?"

———

aight, so.. if you liked this, yay! bc this is gonna be the universe i'm writing in for the rest of the week!

thanks for reading my trash—

- ari

[rogue-barnes-16]

RUSSIAN ROULETTE (Destroyer fic)

Request: just watched Destroyr too nd I'm thirsty for a fic nd saw you're taking requests from it. Can you do a fic where chris goes undercover with the reader instead with erin and when the Russian Roulette shit happens the reader does something to stop it nd chris confronts her later or smthng || idk it's a messy request sorry. || Pls make it anon??? || lol srry XOXO

Pairing: Chris x reader (Destroyer)

Genre: angsty (?) idk how to describe it

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @sinviix @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125

Warnings: not actual spoilers (that's a warning), tension, makeout, language

A/N: first of, I feel like I should make this clear again THIS DOES NOT CONTAIN SPOILERS BUT IT IS BASED ON A PART OF A SCENE OF THE MOVIE. Also, DAMN I enjoyed writing this. Also, it soothed the pain caused by the movie (thanks Nicole Kidman, you lovely human being, for destroying my heart). Anyway, enjoy <3.

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

I lay down on the sofa, giving Chris a brief glance to check on him. A while ago, I could have just asked him since all the party noise would have covered our voices, but it all had gotten really quiet.

People had slowly left, and in the house there were just a few people left. Silas, sitting on the armchair; Petra and that other girl, checking their messed up makeup in the mirror; Toby, playing some random video game; Chris, sat right behind Toby, and Arturo, who was coming my way in the moment.

"look what I found" he shook the pack of beers on his right hand, a mischievous grin on his face.

"reinforcements" I extended my hand for him to give me one. "nice, I needed it" I opened the one he gave me and took a sip.

When Arturo made a hesitant attempt to sit besides me, I moved my leg for him to have more room. "looking gorgeous today, Y/n" he said, half cuddling me.

Arturo was kind of pinning over me, I knew it. I sometimes, if I was in a playful mood, would lead him on. He knew I 'was with Chris' —even though we weren't actually together—, so there was nothing else apart from teasing and light flirting.

Chris, however, to pretend, most of the times would play the jealous boyfriend card, but right now he was distracted.

There was someone who was noticing it, though. Silas had his eyes on us, and, if I only had noticed it before, I would have stopped.

But I hadn't.

I jumped at the loud thud that sounded right besides me. When I turned to it, I saw a small gun on the floor.

"Arturo" Silas called the boy besides him. He tilted his head to the gun with a sick smile on his face. "let's see if your time has come?"

The room, now silent, was filled with anxiety and tension.

I tried playing it cool, but the fear in my eyes gave me away. I knew I was being too obvious when Chris decided to intervene.

"fuck it, Arturo" he said carelessly, not looking at anyone, but at the joint he had just rolled. "don't do it" he added, lighting up the joint before giving it a puff.

"it's none of your business Chris" Chris replied at Silas' statement with a gesture of indifference while he let out the smoke. "C'mon Arturo, grow a pair. Don't wanna play?"

I knew things were about to get worse than expected when Arturo got up and grabbed the gun from the floor.

"there he goes" Silas commented, letting out a dark chuckle. "c'mon, come here and look at me in the eye."

I stole a glance at Chris, who was subtly staring at me with almost unnoticeable nervousness in his eyes.

"Wait" all of them turned to me. "he doesn't wanna do it." before Silas could protest, I gave him a knowing smirk "doesn't have what it takes"

"sweetheart, it's done" Silas made himself more comfortable before looking at Arturo again. "someone gotta play now, so go ahead"

I wasn't going to allow that to happen.

"I wanna play." I stated, standing up. "and I definitely got what it takes" I made my way to then, noticing how Chris' breath hitched, making him swallow the smoke and causing him to cough. "c'mon give me the gun"

Arturo gave me the gun, not before looking at Silas for approval. "Okay sweetheart" the man sitting before me let out a chuckle. "same rules. Gun against your head and eyes on me"

"Silas, c'mon" Petra, who had stayed silent until then, spoke with a trembling voice. "don't- babe, let's drop it."

"Nope, babydoll" the man replied. "c'mon Y/n, make the roulette spin, will you?" it took me a second, but I managed to made the cylinder spin without looking at it. "atta girl."

"baby, quit it" I heard Chris voice, but I didn't really listen to it. "leave it, c'mon" I took a deep, shaky breath, and, when I felt my eyes watering, I pulled the trigger. "Y/n!"

Nothing happened.

I exhaled, tossing the gun to the floor and shutting my eyes. "Y/n, sweetheart, you're nuts." Silas started to laugh, giving me a surprised look. "it was loaded. You can't let people tell you what to do like that" everyone started to chuckle lightly too.

"it has three bullets inside" I turned to Chris, who was holding the gun with the cylinder open. "holy fuck" he managed to feign a laugh and I exited the room, feeling my whole body shaking.

"Chris, go get your crazy girl" Silas said, not able to stop laughing. "go and fuck, she'll calm down!"

I heard heavy steps behind me before a large hand grabbed my forearm, dragging me into a dark room. "what were you thinking" Chris hissed, shutting the door. "what the fucking hell, Y/n?"

"he-" I chewed my lip harsh enough to draw blood, while my back rested against the wall. "there was three bullets, you said it yourself. I knew there was a trick."

"so what?!" he hit the wall besides me, taking a shaky breath "it was damn obvious there was a fucking trick. That's not a reason for you to play the Russian fucking Roulette"

"what if he had killed himself?" I asked, hugging myself in a vain attempt to refrain my goosebumps.

"better him than you"

"Silas gave him the gun because of me. 'cause he was flirting with me" I explained "I didn't want his death in my conscience" I replied, gripping my forearms.

"yeah? Well I didn't want a bullet in your fucking skull and I almost got it" he bit back, choking on the last few words. "do something like that again and you're out"

"you can't fucking do that" I stated. "we're undercover, you can't make me leave."

"fuckin' bet, baby" he growled, trying to pass by me and open the door. He couldn't, though since I put myself between him and the door. "move your ass out of my way, Y/n"

"you really wanted one of the criminals we're chasing to get killed?"

"I swear to fucking God Y/n-"

"Tell me" I shoved him back for him to get away from the door "that you wouldn't have done something like that if you thought it was the right thing to do" when he, instead of replying, growled under his breath with his eyes on the ceiling, I repeated, "fuckin' tell me you wouldn't-"

We heard the door's lock clicking open and I panicked, afraid someone might have heard us.

"fuck"

I took a glance at the door, which was being opened.

"shit" When I turned to Chris again, I barely had time to process that he, with his hands gripping my hips, was backing me against the wall before hurriedly crashing his lips against mines.

"Hey guys- Okay" Toby stood there, holding onto the door frame, for a long minute, watching us making out. "they're fine!" he yelled, turning back to the room where everyone was. "I think they're gonna fuck!- sorry for the interruption, I'll give you some... Privacy"

With that, the door closed again and we were left alone in the dark. It was only when we were sure we were safe, that Chris let go of me.

We stood close to each other, breathing heavily. From my current angle, the moonlight made the tears in his face gleam.

Those tears that I didn't even know were there. Those tears that kept running down his cheeks nonstop.

"what are you fucking looking..."

He went silent when my arms wrapped around him, gripping the back of his jacket with both of my hands.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry" I whispered. "but I don't regret it. It was the right thing to do. Arturo didn't deserve that shit, you know it"

"you didn't either" he circled my hips, pulling me flush against him, like I was going to banish. "Goddammit, Y/n. You didn't either" he muffled a brief sob by burying his face deep into the crook of my neck. "God fucking damnit."

"nothing happened, Chris" I mumbled in a shaky breath, bringing him impossibly closer to me. "I'm fine"

"you scared the shit out of me" he muttered under his breath, letting himself rest against me. "I was so fucking terrified-"

"we're alright" I whispered, pulling away to wipe his tears.

After a beat of silence, he leaned on me an planted a tender, careful kiss on my lips. And it was easy to tell that this one wasn't feigned. This one had Chris' actual feelings on it.

"what was that?" I muttered, slightly confused.

"two weeks deep into this and you already put your life on the line three times" he explained with his jaw clenched. "I'll better come clean 'bout my feelings before you do something stupid and get yourself killed." I nodded, not really knowing what to say. "you... Don't have to- we can just keep pretending, it's fine with me" he cleared his throat, fidgeting with the hem of my jacket. "but, just in case, I needed you to know"

I nodded again without letting any word escape my lips. He waited for an answer that didn't come, and after a few seconds, he cleared his throat again and walked to the bed.

I frowned at him sitting on it. "we should wait a bit." he explained "they think we're fucking so-"

"it's gonna make it more complicated" I blurted out, half wining because, damn, I wanted to be with him. To actually be with him.

"why?" he questioned, resting his elbows over his thighs. "because we'll get too attached? Because we'll get hurt if something happens to the other?"

Those questions made me angry because they were, in fact, the reasons I was going to give him. Now that he had said them out loud, I realized they were stupid reasons.

We were already too attached to each other. We would get hurt anyway if something happened to one another.

"Y/n, I need you to say something"

I walked to him, sat on his lap, and caressed both of his cheeks with my hands. "Okay. Let's do this" I replied, pulling him into a kiss that was, by no means, meant to be rough, but ended up being it.

"Listen" he pulled away for an instant to take off his jacket and mine. "don't you fucking dare to play the Russian Roulette ever again."

"Okay" I pulled the tee off my body and tossed it to the floor. "I won't"

"promise you won't do anything stupid" he demanded, leaning to kiss my jaw, just to pull away to throw his shirt besides mine.

"I promise"

"Good" he cupped my cheeks, bringing me closer to kiss my lips. "cause I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay undercover if something happens to your reckless ass"