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bestialsadist · 6 years

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Beast uf Tha Southern Wild (|5|) Bloodmoon: Fam’ly, Tribe, an’ Pack Pt. 1-4

Part 1:

Bloodmoon. Mah Fam’ly. Mah Tribe. Mah Pack.

Ain’t nothin’ mo’ impo’tant den dem.

I’m standin’ hea, watchin’ mah fam’ly from tha backyard porch. Nika tumblin’ an’ wrestlin’ wit’ @IndigenousHowls, swearin’ up an’ down she gon’ git ‘em on tha ground one day. @HerCajunFlame got ha feet in tha water, starin’ off at tha horizon. Nico by ‘im an’ BJ back house, workin’ on his latest bike. Dat boy betta not git no oil on mah mah ground. @LoyalMasochist in tha kitchen cookin’ up som’thin’ dat smell too damn gud ta’ jus’ be food.

I crack open anotha Guinness wit’ mah teeth an’ spit tha cap in tha trash nex’ ta’ me. @LoyalMasochist na’ ‘bout uh second lata come suckin’ ha teeth as she walk by me.

“One of these days you’re gonna crack a tooth. So damn hard-headed. Open it like normal person, Lie.”

“Luh yah too, Z.”

Throwin’ ha wink as she suck ha teeth again an’ roll ha pretty lil’ eyes at me, I head back in when I hea mah baby sis yellin’ she brought som’ shrimp étouffée fa’ dinna an’ uh new lil’ girlfriend. I shake mah laughin’.

“Chea on tha menu too? O’ nah?”

“I’ma slap yah, ‘Tiste. Keep yah paws off mah girl.”

I roll mah eyes as she come kiss mah cheek an’ introduce me ta’ tha latest, nameless chick who ain’t gon’ exist come nex’ week. Bu’ I smile an’ be polite ‘o course. Bu’ wha’ make me laugh hard as shi’, Desi pull out uh bea from tha fridge an’ open tha shit jus’ like me. I can damn’nea hea mah wif’ lose ha shit.

“Gahdamn! What’s wrong with you two?!”

“Awww, Zelly… I fa’got how much yah hate dat.”

We both crackin’ up ‘cos she’on’t care how much @LoyalMasochist hate it an’ she know it. Bu’ ta’ make mattas worse, Desi spit tha metal top inta’ tha trash jus’ like I do too. Dat’s when Z gih up an’ walk off, goin’ ta’ talk ta’ Nicky wif’ an’ pretend none uf us really hea.

“She gon’ kick yah ass, Desi.”

“She gon’ kick both ou’ asses, ‘Tiste.”

“I know…”

We both laugh. Wit’ tha holidays jus’ ‘round tha cornah, I been thankin’ hard ‘bout whea we at as uh fam’ly, uh tribe, an’ ua pack. @LoyalMasochist been whisperin’ in mah ear ‘bout thangs she been hearin’ from tha otha wif’s, girlfriends, an’ so has Desi. Dey tell us wha’ me, Nicky, an’ Napalm cain’t a’ways git from tha co’munity.

Tha las’ yea an’ uh half been filled wit’ mendin’ an’ makin’ bonds wit’ fam’ly, tha Eldas uf ou’ tribes, an’ tha mambas uf ou’ packs. None uf it been easy, bu’ tha hardest mendin’ been wit’ mah own fam’ly, mah cubs. Tha untrigga’d ones. I’on’t know ‘im like I kno’ Nika an’ BJ, so tryin’ ta’ get ta’ kno’ who dey are on uh day ta’ day, an’ not jus’ on tha full moon been hard. Harda den any fatha should hafta’ deal wit’. Bu’ e’vn @IndigenousHowls, he d’fferent adjustin’ ta’ bein’ uh man mo’ den uh wolf. Nika tha mos’ well-adjusted despite e’vrythang she went tru—tho ha lil’ tempa ain’t no joke. I thank ‘cos she got ta’ be ‘round us in d’fferent forms, dat tha othas couldn’t—she uh lil’ betta den ha sistas an’ brothas. Tommy I couldn’t gih two fucks ‘bout much, bu’ Nico, @HerCajunFlame, an’ me still gotta ways ta’ go. Nico comin’ ‘round. Slowly, bu’ it’s happenin’. NeeNee, I ain’t rea’ly gotta gud read on, yet. Chea in ha head a lot, like me. An’ ha books, like ha mama. I gotta figa out tha way ta’ get ha talkin’ an’ get ha an’ ha mama ta’ talkin’. @LoyalMasochist had ta’ lea NeeNee not ta’ long afta she was born an’ dat broke mah wife in mo’ ways den one. Chea barely had uh yea wit’ ha befo’ tha curse kicked back in. I’on’t thank dey eva gon’ recova from tha loss uf all dem yeas.

Bu’ it ain’t jus’ us.

All tha cursed wolves been dealin’ wit’ fam’lies in shambles, broken apart, an’ fa’ som’, unmendable. We was lucky dat Aubrey, Z big sista, an’ ha husband could take in ou’ cubs while we couldn’t. Dey was tha day ta’ day mama an’ daddy dey needed an’ I’ll a’ways be grateful fa’ dat. Not e’vrybody had dat opshun. E’vn tho many uf tha untrigga’d in ou’ tribes took in cubs uf otha kin, some still fell tru tha cracks. Ended up in fosta care o’ wors’. Fa’ ou’ tribe, dis was real bad since we was disowned from tha res’ uf dem.

We was cursed fa’ uh decade. All dat’s been broken ain’t gon’ be fix’d ova nigh’. Uh shi’ty realizashun I dun’ had ova tha las’ yea na. Months an’ months uf us all tryna get back ta’getha an’ on tha same page ta’ move forward’s been nothin’ bu’ hell on wheels. Bu’ den, anythang wit’ us wolves a’ways is. Tha o’ly thang gud ‘bout bein’ newly freed, many uh men lookin’ fa’ work. Hard ta’ find uh job dat undastand yah can’t be dere bu’ one o’ two nigh’s uf tha month. Wolf-owned bus’nesses bein’ rebuilt wit’ ou’ own paws an’ thrivin’ on ou’ own m’ney. Bu’ outside tha bus’ness, tha laws uf tribes an’ tha way uf ou’ livin’ ain’t as easy ta’ come ta’ ‘greements on. None uf ‘em seem ta’ git on tha same page long enuf ta’ ‘gree on whea ta’ take us all from hea. In-fightin’s tha whole reason we was vulnerable ta’ tha vamp’s witch-bitch’s curse ova uh decade ago anyway. If we banded as one, no fanga woulda been able ta’ take us on. Not e’vn one wit’ uh witch ta’ do his biddin’. Mah pack had nothin’ ta’ do wit’ any uf dat. Too busy sellin’ powda an’ pills befo’ tha shi’ hit tha radar on uh Na’shunal scale. Mah mind was on makin’ m’ney fa’ mah fam’ly. Nothin’ mo’, nothin’ less. We fell prey ‘cos uf tha Crescents an’ Guerrera’s an’ dey bul’shit wit’ tha fangas. Fuckin’ idjits. Uh curse’on’t discriminate. Bu’ we gotta pick up tha pieces jus’ tha same.

E’vn tho mah Pack’s in line, tha othas got some comin’ ‘round ta’ do. Some packs re’dy an’ willin’ ta’ gravel at tha feet uf tha Hybrid while tha res’ uf us ain’t hea fo’ it. Me an’ @LoyalMasochist an’ ou’ pack damn sho’ ain’t hea fa’ it. I ain’t lookin’ ta’ be nobody’s lil’ bitch. I’on’t gih uh fuck who he is o’ whea his bloodline come from. He ain’t tha architect uf mah fam’ly. He jus’ anotha muthafucka tryna con’trol us. Jus’ anotha way idjits lettin’ outsidas break us ‘part. It’on’t make no sense we keep repeatin’ ol’ habits dat’ll get us killed. E’vn tho e’vrybody thank I’ma beast, ‘dere ain’t nothin’ I care mo’ ‘bout den mah Fam’ly, mah Tribe, an’ mah Pack.

“Penny for your thoughts, papa?”

@LoyalMasochist’s lil’ voice snaps me outta mah thoughts. I lean mah elbows down on tha porch railin’ an’ search ha eyes, starin’ back at me.

“Mm... Tell me yahs an’ I’ll tell yah mine, chea…”

Ha face tell me she know ‘xactly what I mean. “Nothin’ ta’ say, chea?” She keep quiet, worryin’ ha bo’tom lip. I kiss ha nose an’ go back ta’ drankin’ mah bea. It’s been uh long yea fo’ us all.

E’vn ha an’ me…

____

[©Post to @BestialSadist: 11-12-17]

Part 2:

Grimancin’ wit’ creased brows, I hiss at tha stink uf tha cow’ard hangin’ by uh noose an’ beggin’ fa’ mercy in fronta me. His tiptoes touchin’ tha chair unda him jus’ enuf so he’on’t hang ‘imself. -Yet.- He ain’t got long fo’ I kick tha chair from unda ‘im jus’ ta’ watch ‘im strangle ta’ death ‘cos I’m fuckin’ bored uf his bul’shit. I dun poured wolfsbane down his throat ta’ watch tha herb burn through his flesh an’ beat tha shit outta ‘im so e’vry gappin’ gash an’ jagged cut ‘on’t heal so quick while tryna. He ain’t tha firs’ eitha. ‘Bout eight uf his packmembas hangin’ upside down in tha otha room, dead, ‘cos dey ain’t gimmie tha ansas I wanted ta’ hea. Tha name uf dey supplia. Dis’ere pack’s been rackin’ up m’ney lef’ an’ righ’ wit’ rumas uf workin’ fo’ uh new deala in town. Sumbody tryna come fa’ mah ter’tory. Who dat deala is, nobody seem ta’ know so I pay uh visit ta’ tha capo’s, tha Deepwata Pack, ta’ see ‘bout dis’ere mystery guy. Bu’ when we showed up ta’ dis’ere saf’house I caught uh glimpse uf sumthin’ el’se. Sumthin’ mo’ pressin’ den m’ney feuds.

Zak guardin’ tha do’ from tha inside, uh few guys guardin’ outside, an’ Nicky an’ Napalm standin’ behin’ me as I stare dis’ere so-called Alpha face ta’ face.

“So, tell me, dipshit, ‘cos I’m losin’ wha’ lil’ pat’ence I got left an’ seein’ as half yah guys a’ready dead, I ain’t start wit’ much. Whea yah git dis’ere man jew’lry from? Yah’on’t look lika faggot.”

I hol’up his ring fanga in front uf ‘im. I cut it off ‘cos he got dis’ere ring on wit’ uh lil’ dark stone thas givin’ his Pack tha ‘bility ta’ use tha powa uf dey wolves e’vn when dey ain’t shif’ted. Sumthin’ o’ly mah kind can do. Sumthin’ mah kind was exiled fo’. I got dat much outta his dead Pack, ‘least. Firs’ it was jus’ rumas on tha grapevine dat Weres was changin’, gainin’ powas like us outlaws. Nobody was claimin’ it ta’ be true o’ na, so we ignored it neva thankin’ it could re’ly be true. Bu’ ta’day, I seen it wit’ mah own eyes. We all did. Dis’ere Deepwata Alpha down in tha bayou wit’ his pack, shiftin’ parts uf dey body in broad daylight fa’ anybody nosin’ ‘round hea ta’ see. Dey ain’t e’vn see us lurkin’ ‘round. Dis shit’s real an’ uh threat ta’ mah bloodline. If tha Powas dat be get dey hands on sumthin’ dat make ‘em match us, wha’s ta’ stop ‘em from tryna take us all out….-A’gin.- Dat includes e’vrybody who ‘ligned wit’ us too....Like mah wif’ an’ cubs.

“It don’t...don’t matter where...we got it from. This is…for protection. You gon’ keep...killing your own….kind for us choosing…to protect ourselves?!”

Tha mo’ tha cow’ard stuttas an’ whimpas, tha mo’ I’m gettin’ a’noyed. Don’t nothin’ piss me off mo’ den uh spin’less wolf. I migh’ be’uh liar, cheata, an’ e’vn uh killa, bu’ I ain’t neva an’ will eva be uh fuckin’ cow’ard. I feel tha golden eyes uf mah beast flash pass mine an’ I kno’ I cain’t hol’ ‘im back too much longa.

“Traitas ain’t mah kind, muthafucka. An’ who yah so ‘fraid uf? Who yah protectin’ yah pack from? Yah new Boss? Whoeva dat is. Oh…I hope yah’on’t mean dat silly ass Hybrid-muthafucka. I’ll kill yah’ on pr’nciple if dat’s tha case.”

I still ain’t got no respect fa’ Mistah Do Wha’ I say O’ Watch Me Cry ‘Bout It. He ain’t tha maka uf mah bloodline o’ mos’ uf ou’s from down deep by tha Bayous. Bu’ Jimbo hea, see ‘em. He see mah eyes flash bright an’ know within uh s’cond wha’ I am. He’on’t gotta say nothin’, it’s written all ova his face. E’vn tho he strainin’ ta’ talk from tha pain uf his beatdown an’ cutoff body parts, hate an’ rage pulse in his bulgin’ eyes clea as day. If he wa’n’t hangin’ from tha ceilin’ he prolly be tryna take mah head off.

“Yeah…You’re right. You’re not -our- kind. BPC shunned you Scummoons from our packs decades ago. Why they didn’t kill you savages off like the Atakapas, none of us will ever fucking know. You cain’t begin to understand why we need this! Not that I gotta explain myself to you trash, but I made a decision to protect my pack. Give us control over who we are so it can’t be used against us ever again. -Period.- If we can’t protect ourselves, what’s the point of rebuilding our packs anyway?”

His anga an’ disgust’s all wrapped inta’ one. All shit I’m usedta’ an’ ‘on’t care ‘bout. I can undastand uh Alpha wantin’ ta’ protect his pack tho. Bu’ dis ain’t tha way ta’ do it an’ it sho’ ain’t help ‘im too much wit’ me hea an’ na.

“Dis’ere ain’t no protecshun, idjit. Dis’ control. I ain’t neva had it e’sy, from outsidas -an’- e’vn otha shiftas like yah’self. So, ‘on’t come talkin’ ‘bout protectin’ wha’s yahs ta’ me. Imagin’ havin’ ta’ protect yah’self from yah own kind, huntin’ yah fam’ly like wild dogs!”

Mah anga get da bes’ uf me an’ I hurl uh blow ta’ his lowa torso, righ’ ‘bout way uf his kidney. Tha one thang I a’ways had was control ova when tha ragin’ part uh me culd be let out his cage. Mos’ly. Sumthin’ most mah kind cain’t say, an’ tha v’ry reason tha LaPierre bloodline been stri’ped from ou’ rightful place in tha Bayou Pack Co’ncil. Ta’ be shunned mean tha Bloodmoons ain’t got no say in tha goings on uf tha Bayou tribes an’ Packs an’ tha roy’lty uf mah bloodline been seared ‘way since mah great, great, great-granddaddy was roamin’ dis’ere swamps. Prolly befo’. Searin’s uh ritual done ta’ tear ou’ connecshun from e’vry otha Bayou Pack an’ strip us uf ou’ connecshun ta’ tha F’rst Shamans. Ou’ own Ancestas an’ tha Firs’ uf Ou’ Kind. Dat come wit’ it’s own heep uh bul’shit. Mah mar’iage, cubs, an’ tribe ain’t re’ly recognized o’ real in’tha eyes uf BPC who still hol’ ta’ all dese ‘ol tradishuns an’ rules dat say mah blood’s tha scurge uf tha Earth. It’s like we hea bu’ ain’t hea.

Tha Eldas was jus’ too piss’d tha lycan gene ain’t sumthin’ dey culd get like all tha otha ‘bilities passed down in tha Were-lines. So wha’doyah do when yah want sumthin’ somebody else got an’ ain’t givin’ up? -Yah take it.- If dat’on’t work, yah make it sumthin’ -nobody- wants. Dat’s ‘xactly what dey did ta’ mah fam’ly all dem yea’s ago. Dey ain’t had tha powa ta’ take us on, bu’ dey had tha infl’ence ta’ make us invis’ble.

Tha Eldas say since all wolves gotta trigga tha wolf by murda, ta’ dem, uh way uh killin’ uh lil’ piece uf yah humanity ta’ let tha beast in, we must be mo’ beast den man, since we ain’t gotta kill ta’ let ou’ beast roam free. We must be nat’ral born killas den. So, dey outlawed lycans as tha one thang ev’rybody look down at an’ won’t be a’sociated wit’. Tha savages. Tha beasts. Tha -othas.- Tha thang ev’rybody too ‘fraid ta’ be, ‘cos ta’ dem, we sumthin’ dat ain’t so...human. Easiest way ta’ make e’vrybody okay wit’ hate? Make ‘em ‘fraid uf tha otha.

It’s tha ’merican way.

“Yeah… Uhhuh... I see it in your eyes. You’re thinking about it. You have the choice not to turn. You have the choice not to be broken. We don’t! We don’t have the choice not to be the savage beasts you are! By what shit-stain karma fuck up would you get such a choice, but decent people don’t?!”

E’en tho I ain’t neva felt like much, I ain’t neva felt like less fa’ bein’ wha’ I am––despite tha Eldas wantin’ us LaPierre’s an’ all those who share ou’ blood ta’ feel dat way. Bu’ so many sho’ try ta’ remind me we ain’t shit. E’vn when dey s’conds from stranglin’ dem’selves ta’ death. Thang is, tha one thang he want so gahdamn bad is tha re’son he see me lowa den tha horseshit he stepped in. Dey’d all luh ta’ hav’ ou’ powa bu’ not tha stigma ‘ttached ta’ it. Packs been hatin’ ma kind so lon’ dey’on’t kno’ why dey hate beyon’ tha lies dey tell demselves ‘bout us.

I ain’t moved tho. Still startin’ ‘im in tha eye. I clea mah throat an’ hawk spit righ’ ‘tween his eyes.

“Such uh fuckin’ cow’ard. Yah sicken me. It’s Packs like yah’s dat make it e’sy fa’ anybody ta’ take us down. Ta’ busy lookin’ out fa’ yah’gahdamnself. I say Pack ‘cos none uf ‘em stood ‘gainst yah bad choices. How yah’on’t undastand tha o’ly protecshun yah eva need is yah own kind?! Huh?! Not some outsida quick ta’ make yah turn on dem who got yah back mos’. Say wha yah wan’ ‘bout mah blood, I’d neva sell out mah Pack an’ make ‘em bitches ta’ wha’eva sucka yah made uh deal wit’. ‘Cos dat’s all dis lil’ magical man-jewel ‘ere is, uh fuckin’ leash fa’ all yah ta’ bow down. Na who gave it ta’ yah? Hm? I’on’t wanna hafta take out tha res’ uf yah pack ta make mah fuckin’ point. Try me if yah thank I’m bluffin’, Jimbo.”

Takin’ steps ova ta’ tha few uf his membas still breathin’ an’ standin’ ‘gainst tha wall, I grab anotha one uf ‘em by tha neck an’ yank ha esophagus from ha throat. Ha warm, bloody muscle still in mah palm when ha body crumbles ta’ tha ground.

“I kin keep goin’. One by one ‘til yah gih me wha’ I want. Up ta’ yah.” Uh sickenin’ smirk touch mah thin-lipped mug.

“Black Pines! They’re handing them out to any pack willing to take them!”

“Ugh.” Alls I can say… I shake mah head wit’ uh he’vy grunt, his revelashun bein’ tha v’ry thang I was hopin’ wa’n’t true. Strollin’ back ova ta’ ‘im, I grab his face wit’ mah bloody hand afta droppin’ ha throat on tha way ova. “I shoulda known it was dem. Whyah ain’t go ta’ tha Co’ncil ta’ stop dis’ere shit?! Band ta’getha ‘nstead uf signin’ up ta’ be tha Hybrid’s lit’le bitch?”

His face scrunch up an’ eyes bulge like I’m tha one missin’ sumthin’.

“You stupid inbred sack of shit! The Council -made- the deal!”

____

[©Post to @BestialSadist: 5-2-18]

Part 3:

“Lie…”

I hea mah wif’s sleepy voice comin’ from tha livin’ room an’ I kno’ tha sound uf chea when she been up worryin’ an’ wonderin’ whea I’m at. It’s uh d’fferent sound den when she jus’ wan’ some a’tenshun from me so she wait up ta’ talk ta’ me ‘bout mah day an’ ha’s. I’on’t kno’ why I thought I’d be able ta’ walk in mah house an’ na’ht be botha’d. It’s dumba den uh tick ona flea ta’ e’vn thank so. Dis’ w’man gotta fuckin’ sixth sense when it comes ta’ me, ha fam’ly, an’ ha cubs. I suck inna deep breath befo’ ansa’n ta’ mah name.

“Yea, chea? Yah ‘wake?” I kno’ chea is bu’ I’m gaugin’ ha state.

“Mhm. Where you been, Papa? And what’s that sm….” Chea bee-lines ‘round tha couch fa’ me, wearin’ ona mah black wif’beetas dat giv’me uh lil’ sideboob ac’shun from ha, some black shorts dat let ha lil’ booty hang ou’t, dark grey socks that reach tha top uf ha thighs, an’ ha furry grey an’ black wolf-claw house shoes chea luh so much. Wha’ dey call’at? Irony? Wit’ wha’ Z got on, if tha nex’ look on ha face wa’n’t wha’ it was an’ wha’ I knew it’d be, I’d expect dis’hea nigh’ ta’ go real d’ferent den it’s ‘bouta.

Stoppin’ in ha tracks soon as ha eyes land on me, chea ain’t gotta say uh word fa’ me ta’ kno’ whea ha mind go. Dat’s uh real thang ‘tween ma’ried folks, supan’tural o’ na’ht. Some shit jus’on’t needta’ be said. Some shit jus’ -shuldn’t- be said.

Ha head cocks ta’ tha side whil’ she grabs mah wrists o’ly showin’ me I’m righ’ ‘bout why chea stopped so hard an’ so fast. She smell it on me. I kno’ she do. Chea kno’ wha’ I dun wit’ou’t me sayin’ uh word. She’s carryin’ mah cub, so ha senses heightened e’vn mo’ den dat Babineaux w’man intuishun chea a’redy got. Notice I ain’t say mama ‘cos she had dat shi’ long fa’ she had mah firs’ cub. Bu’ fa’ Weres, dey’on’t get ta’ ‘xperience dey wolf powas in human form like us, ‘cept fa’ two ways. One, fa uh few days afta dey shift. An’ two, since dey’on’t turn whil’ dey carryin’, some uf dey senses rise ta’ tha surface durin’ dis’hea time. So it’on’t s’prise me chea kno’ I been up ta’ no good. I jus’ hoped she was sleep so I culd handle it befo’ she kno’ nuthin’.

Tuggin’ me ta’ tha kitchen by mah arm, chea’on’t touch mah black-gloved hands an’ make sho’ I’on’t touch nothin’ else. When we stop at tha sink, I lean ‘gainst tha counta an’ watch ha work. Z loads tha dishwasha, which chea’on’t eva use, wit’ tha leftova dishes an’ rinses tha sink ou’t ta’ fill tha brown granite wit’ hot wata an’ bleach.

“Arms up.” Chea grabs tha end uf mah dark, long-sleeve thermo ta’ pull it an’ tha gloves at tha ends off an’ I lean ova ta’ help ha pull it all offa me. “Pants too.”

I’on’t giv’ha no figh’ e’vn tho she got me undressin’ like she ‘bout ta’ send me ta’ bed wit’ no dinna. Theas uh joke somwhea in thea jus’ waitin’ ta’ be told. Bu’ na’ht righ’ na. I take off e’vrythang else bu’ mah black boxas whil’ chea grab uh trash bag ta’ stuff mah clothes all in. “Put your ring in the bowl right there and then hands in the water. I’ll be back.”

I do as I’m told’, lettin’ tha sterlin’ silver clink ‘gainst tha glass bowl an’ watchin’ ha retreat back whea I jus’ come from. Dis’ tha wif’ mos’on’t kno’ so much. -Q.- Tha w’man who was by mah side when I went from dope deala ta’ top uf tha food chain, o’ some wuld say, from ‘Tiste ta’ Tha Beast. Chea kno’ all mah secrets an’ jus’ ‘bout e’vrythang I’on’t say.

Befo’ I kno’ it I hea tha low hum uf tha washa kick in an’ I drop mah head down an’ push mah hands inta’ tha hot wata. It’s scoldin’ lik’ mah wif’s tryna sear mah skin off mah bones bu’ it’on’t botha me much.

Mah mind’s stuck on wha’ dat Alpha said. Tha Co’ncil sol’d us ou’ ta’ tha fuckin’ Hybrid.

-A’gin.-

Well, na’ht -us- ‘cos we shunned an’ I wuldn’t bow ta’ tha fuckin’ claw’d fanga if it meant tha end uf mah life. Som’body needta’ sho’ blondie wha’ real wolves ou’hea made uf an’ tha Co’ncil ain’t it. Ratha yah bury me in tha grave fo’ I let’cha make me uh fuckin’ slave. Dey made tha rest uf tha Packs, ‘leas dem dumb enuf ta’ take tha bait lika dick down dey throat, turn bitch fa’ ‘im -a’gin.- Thankin’ ‘is protectshun gon’ save ‘em from his need ta’ dominate ‘em. Fuckin’ idjits. Anybody kno’ uh Mikaelson deal a’ways come wit’uh price an’ dey neva tha ones payin’ fa’ shi’. How culd mah wif’ wan’me ta’ go crawlin’ back ta’ tha Bayou Pack Co’ncil uf C’wards? Ta’ be recognized by dem? Fa’ dem ta’ tell me mah claws o‘ficial an’ mah cubs a’cepted by dem weak an’ hateful fucks? If we was part uf dem, we’d be sol’d ou’t righ’ na ta’! Fuck dat!

I’m yellin’ in mah head. Yellin’ ta’ tha darkness.

Tha thoughts pissin’ me off all ova a’gin, remindin’ me why I neva gav’ uh fuck fa’ dem nah’t a’ceptin’ mah fam’ly name e’vn though it’s as old as dea’s. I’on’t feel mah’self growlin’ ‘til I look up at mah reflec’shun in tha kitchen windo an’ see tha fiery gold glow in mah eyes.

“Our girls are upstairs sleeping, Lie.”

Ha hands graze ova mah arms as she slips ha’self besides me at tha sink an’ grabs tha metal wire brillo pad she use fa tha pots. I ain’t e’vn kno’ chea was thea. She’on’t look up at me, she stare at mah golden glare in tha window.

“Lemme scrub just a little then you go run and we talk when you come back or we can just talk.” Z presses ha cheek ‘gainst mah bare shulda as she starts ta’ scrubbin’ mah fangas unda tha bleach-filled wata. “You hear me?”

I nod, tha anga seepin’ as ha hands trail mah heated flesh. “You already know my rules but whatever you need to do to get yourself together, Lie. -Do it.- I don’t want them seeing you like this.”

“In my….” Z pinches me an’ I growl down at’ha, mo’ jokin’ den anythang.

“If you say ‘in my draws,’ I’m gonna punch you in tha throat. You know what I mean.” She sucks ha teeth at me an’ I kno’ I’m on thin ice an’ close ta’ ha poppin’ me one.

“Dea ain’t much ta’ say, chea.”

“Mhm. I’m scrubbing your hands in bleach. There’s plenty to say, Lie.”

Dat’s three times chea done said mah name in less den uh few minutes an’ I ain’t fuckin’ ha.

I sigh. I knew I’d hafta’ say somthin’ so I go wit’ tha easiest. I tell ha tha truth an’ nuthin’ bu’ tha truth. E’vrythang ‘bout Deepwata shiftin’ wit’ou tha Moon, tha co’ncil sellin’ us ou’, -a’gin-, na’ht o’ly ta’ tha fuckin’ Hybrid bu’ ta’ tha Acandian Bayou Packs ta’, tha packs lurkin’ ‘round an’ passin’ ou’ rangs like dey candy, an’ e’vn tha mess we left in dey Deepwata double-wide. We ain’t get ridda tha whol’ Pack bu’ we took ou’ tha cocksucka’s inna circle. Lef’ one ta’ go back an’ tell tha Co’ncil an’ dey new lil’ alliances dat na’ht e’vrybody wanna be no slaves ta’ tha fuckin’ fangas. Bu’ I leav’ ou’ tha part ‘bout tha Black Pines bein’ part uf dis’hea. Tha same pack who’s Alpha I killed an’ took in ‘is pack. I’on’t kno’ how tha pack’s e’vn rebuildin’ bu’ I’on’t wan’ha worried ‘bout any uf dat’dea ‘cos dat’s uh whol’ heep uf shi’ chea’on’t need on ha head.

I cain’t.

Judgin’ by tha blank stare on ha face, chea ain’t b’lievin’ uh word I’m sayin’ ta’ ha. An’ I kno’ why. Ha fatha’s tha Chief uf tha Bayou Pack Co’ncil an’ e’vn though ha an’ ‘im ain’t seen eye ta’ eye fa’ yea’s, chea still uh daddy’s g’rl at heart. Mo’ den chea’d eva let anybody kno’. Yah cain’t tell ha nothin’ ‘bout ‘im. No matta how much chea call ‘em by ‘is firs’ name behin’ ‘is back. Ta’ thank he uh traita ta’ his kind an’ workin’ wit’ tha Arc’s jus’ migh’ be ta’ much fa’ ha ta’ take righ’ na’. Tha man chea won’t me ta’ go gravel ta’ is tha same man sellin’ us ou’ ta’ tha highest bidda so dey can do ‘xactly wha’ he spit in mah face fo’: control tha wulf inside.

Bu’ I guess since it’s -us,- it’s d’fferent.

“You come in my house, filthy with whoever you’ve killed tonight, probably dismembered, and you’re saying my father’s a traitor? My father’s an asshole and so much more but a traitor? Even I won’t let you spread lies like that on my damn name.”

I suck in uh deep breath an’ stare at mah wif’. Did chea jus’ say -mah name.-

“Yah name, eh?” I cain’t stop tha sarcastic laugh dat come ou’ mah mouf mo’ ta’ stop me from goin’ off on mah pregnant damn wif’. “Ar’yah fuckin’ s’rious? I’ma ‘sume yah harmones on some otha shi’ righ’ na.”

Ha eyes widen an’ I cain’t help bu’ stare righ’ back at’ha. How culd chea think I’d lie ta’ ha, ‘specially ‘bout ha daddy. “Since when I lie ta’ yah ‘bout’cha fam’ly? Hm? When -tha fuck- hav’ I -eva- lied ta’ yah ‘bout yah daddy?” Chea jus’ stare hard at me, chewin’ ha bottom lip. “Huh? I cain’t fuckin’ hea yah, Z. -When?-” I’m growlin’, tryin’ na’ht ta’ wake up mah g’rls.

“Never.”

I lean in, pushin’ mah ear ha way. “Say dat ‘gin, I still’on’t fuckin’ hea yah, Zelda.”

“Never, you ass!” Chea shoves me so hard mah back hits tha dishes on tha counta makin’ uh glass fall in tha empty side uf tha sink an’ shatta. Chea jump at’tha sound uf tha glass breakin’ an’ I narro mah eyes. I kno’ it ain’t me chea mad at bu’ I cain’t hol’ mah tongue. Na’ht righ’ na’.

“I ain’t fuckin’ thank so. So, why tha fuck wuld I start na’? Dis’hea wha’ tha Deepwata fucka tol’ me hangin’ upside down fa’ ‘is life an’ it’on’t seem like he was lyin’. Ain’t no way somthin’ lik’ some fuckin’ rangs dat control yah whol’ ass shift gon’ be somthin’ dat’on’t get back ta’ tha co’ncil. Ta’ -yah- fuckin’ daddy!” I point uh wet, accusin’ fanga in ha face. “Yah fuckin’ kno’ it an’ I fuckin’ kno’ it. E’vn if yah daddy ain’t make tha deal, he in on it some way. Swallo dat fuckin’ pill.”

I push off tha kitchen counta, waggin’ mah soapy hands like crazy ova tha sink ‘til tha extra wata gon’ an’ I grab uh few papa towels ta’ dry ‘em off sommo’. It cain’t be easy ta’ hea none uf dis’hea an’ I kno’ it. Mah decishun ta’ leav’ ou’ tha part uf tha Black Pines jus’ feels e’vn mo’ righ’. Chea turn on tha wata, risnin’ off ha own hands.

In s’lence.

I suck inna deep breath an’ toss tha papa towels in tha trash. Mah claws scratchin’ at mah insides, tryin’ta’ rip through tha surface an’ I kno’ it ain’t good fa’ me ta’ be cooped up righ’ na’. I’m fuckin’ pissed tha fuck off an’ I kno’s betta if I take dat run befo’ I say somthin’ I’on’t mean. Mah lycan’s growlin’ at me ta’ go ou’chea an’ get me some air.

“Fuck dis’hea.”

Betta I lis’sen na’ den regret it lata.

Na’, mah ears get hot an’ mah feet’on’t wanna move. It’s lika call deep inside me dat stop me in mah tracks as hard as chea did when I walked in tha house. I sigh. Hard. Noe flared an’ chest heavin’ an’ slowly goin’ down as mah anga tries ta’ calm itself e’vn befo’ I realize why. Z wipes ha face an’ rubs ha belly. I jus’ ‘bout hea mah wif’s tea’rs rollin’ down ha face as chea wobbles fa’ tha sink, prolly ta’ pick up tha broken pieces.

____

Part 4:

“Z…”

Chea ignore me an’ go fa’ tha broken glass bu’ I’m on’ha fasta den tha next tea’r can roll down ha face. Grab’n ha hands an’ stoppin’ ha befo’ chea cut ha’self ‘cos she upset. I kno’ wha’ I tol’ ha ain’t e’sy ta’ hea bu’ I ain’t expect dis’hea.

“-Zelda.-”

I say ha full name whil’ I’m starrin’ at ha ta’ make ha look up at me. Bu’ chea’on’t. She’on’t e’vn budge. E’vn when I say ha full name.

“Z.”

I brang ha fangatips ta’ mah lips an’ kiss ‘em. I let all tha mad leav’ mah voice an’ say ha name a’gin. “Z…”

Chea f’nally look up at me. Red an’ puffy a’redy. It’on’t take much fa’ mah wif’ ta’ go red bu’ dis’hea d’ferent. I can count on one hand how many times I seen dis’hea much hurt in ha eyes. It’s a’ways had ta’ do wit’ ou’r cubs o’ wit’ ha fuckin’ Daddy. It’s uh d’ferent kinda hurt den when I’ve hurt ha bein’ som’ kinda young, dumb ass. Fuckin’ ‘round o’ worse.

“I’m s’ry, chea. I’ma dumbass.” I wrap ha arms ‘round mah neck an’ res’ mah head ‘gainst ha head an’ whispa. “I wa’n’t tryna hurt’cha, Z. Yah kno’ dat.”

I wa’n’t. I ain’t neva tryna hurt mah wif’. Eva. Bu’ wha’ I was -tryna- do an’ wha’ I -did’s- two d’ferent thangs. Mah wif’ can ice yah ou’ wit’ tha best uf ‘em bu’ righ’na I need’ha ta’ talk ta’ me.

“Z…”

Chea snatch ha hands from mine, scowlin’ an’ wipin’ ha eyes wit’ tha back uf ha hand. Walkin’ backwards ‘way from me, it’s clea chea wan’ha space bu’ I follo ha an’way ‘til chea giv’me ha death stare dat tell me ta’ fuck off. Chea ain’t tryna ta’ talk ta’ me. Chea’on’t turn ha back on me ‘til she kno’ I’m na’ht followin’ ha. Dea’s times when mah wif’ wan’s me ta’ folla an’ console ha, bu’ dis’hea ain’t one uf dem times.

Leanin’ ‘gainst tha sink, I sigh an’ grip tha counta lik’ I wanna break tha goddamn edge off. I fuckin’ migh’. Bu’ I migh’ hava bigga figh’ on mah hands if I do. I go ou’back ta’ tha laundry room fa’ some sweats o’ somthin’. Hopin’ I find somthin’ still hidin’ in tha baskets since mah wif’ been quick on tha puttin’ stuff back, I lis’sen fa’ Z ta’ close tha do’ behin’ ha ‘cos if chea’on’t slam tha do’, chea wants me ta’ folla ha. I ain’t got high hopes tho. Tha cut from ha ice still openin’ mah flesh deep.

When I find uh pair uf mah tan linen pants, I pull ‘em on an’ tie tha draw strang, hearin’ mah bedroom doh slam shut an’ rattle tha pictuas on tha wall ‘long tha stairs.

“I need ta’ go tha fuck ou’side.”

Dis’hea ain’t wha’ I want’d ta’ come home ta’. I ain’t tryna be fightin’ mah wif’ ova ha fuckin’ traita ass daddy. Tryin’ na’ht ta’ slam tha do’ behin’ me, I head ou’ back an’ stare at’tha sky. Tha chill air on mah skin ain’t enuf ta’ stop mah blood from boilin’. E’vry bone in mah body’s on tha verge uf breakin’ bu’ I suck in som’ fresh air an’ fuckin’ fight tha urge ta’ howl at’tha goddamn moon. Mah wif’s prolly upstairs cryin’ an’ stabin’ uh pictura uf me ‘cos I jus’ shatta’d ha. I fuckin’ hate dat I cain’t lie ta’ ha eitha. Na’ht ‘bout all dis’hea. Dat trip up ta’ tha cabins seem so far ‘way righ’na an’ I’m wishin’ we was back in dat bliss. Dat quiet. Dem nights uf jus’ us wit’ no cares in tha world.

I rest mah arms on top uf mah head, lockin’ mah fangas an’ tryna calm tha fuck down. I feel tha growl sneak up in mah ches’ befo’ it com’ an’ I cain’t stop it. Na’ht e’vn if I try ta’ bu’ I’on’t. I let’mah growl turn ta’ uh howl dat rattles tha windos an’ mah dogs start barkin’ dea head’s off.

“Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.”

Groanin’ an’ droppin’ mah head back, I got half’uh mind ta’ head up ta’ tha bedroom anyway. Bu’ befo’ I e’vn mov’ uh inch I see yah starin’ down at me from ou’ balcony. Yah bloodshot eyes lockin’ wit’ mah glowin’ glare. I see yah shakin’ from down hea an’ I’on’t care no mo’ if yah wan’ me dea o’ na’ht. Runnin’ back in tha house an’ lockin’ up behin’ me, I take tha stairs two an’ three atta time ta’ get ta’ yah. Pausin’ when I get ta’ tha clos’d do’, fa’ uh s’cond, I wava back an’ forth if I should go in o’ na’ht. Open o’ ‘on’t?

I open it lik’uh bull inna China shop, closin’ it behin’ me wit’ou’ no hes’tashun ‘cos I’on’t wanna wake tha g’rls.

“Z…”

I’on’t kno’ wha’ I expect ta’ see bu’ I ain’t thank yah’d be sittin’ on tha bed. “Chea…Talk ta’ me.”

“There isn’t anything to talk about.”

Silent tre’tment’s ova? Leas’ chea’s talkin’ ta’ me. I ain’t expect ha ta’ say nothin’ leas’ wit’ou’ sommo beggin’. “Bullshi’, dea’s uh lot ta’ talk ‘bout.”

“You tell me my father’s sold the wolves out to that son of a bitch and what? You want me to give you my analysis on it? Would you like that paper typed or handwritten?” Tha base in ha voice sends mah blood pressha sky-high a’gin. I suck in uh deep breath befo’ I say somthin’ I regret ta’ ha. Dis��hea yah wif’. Chea mad. Chea hurt. Dis’hea’s yah wif’.

I suck in anotha deep breath an’ drag mah hands down mah face. “I ain’t lookin’ fa’ yah analyze nothin’, chea. I jus’ wanna kno’ whea yah mind’s at. Yah wa’n’t e’vn believin’ me uh few s’conds ago.”

“I still don’t know if I do. There might be another explanation to this. Torturing people doesn’t always get the right answers to things.”

I roll mah eyes, feelin’ on edge righ’ na. Dis’hea tha irrashunal part uf mah wif’ comin’ ou’. Dat part dat’s wearin’ ha heart on ha sleeve ‘cos chea’on’t wanna b’lieve wha’ I’m tellin’ ha. I get it. It ain’t e’sy ta’ hea dat yah daddy an’ tha res’ uf tha Co’uncil’s uh pack uf fuckin’ c’wards. Dis’ I a’redy knew bu’ chea still b’elive in ‘em. Mo’ den I eva will. Ain’t no way tha res’ uf dem’on’t kno’ wha’s ha’pened an’ I kno’ dey went wit’ dis’hea decishun from tha Chief. Dat jus’ ain’t how tha packs work. I’on’t needta’ be wit’em ta’ kno’ dat.

Sittin’ on tha lounge an’ claspin’ mah hands ta’getha whil’ I tryta’ lis’sen ta’ ha wit’ open ears an’ na’ht tha anga risin’ in mah chest. Why wuld I fuckin’ lie ta’ yah? I swallo dat an’ say nothin’ instead. It’s betta dat way. Betta ta’ lis’sen.

“Hm. I guess it’s quiet time now.” I grind mah teeth an’ stare daggas at’ha. “You had so much to say before, why so quiet now? Hm? Not sure if you’re right or if I am?”

“Zelda, ‘on’t shoot tha fuckin’ messenga. I was jus’ as shock’d as yah’re. Wuld yah ratha I fuckin’ lie ta’ yah? Huh?”

Ha eyes roll cold bu’ ha tongue cuts me lik’uh blade righ’ou’ tha fire dat forges it. “Wouldn’t be the first fucking time.”

____

#BestialSadist #BeastOfTheSouthernWild #MC21+#BSSolo

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