#if youre a terf and have something to say... dont bother. im just gonna block you.

[ars0nism]

okay, final post on this. my thing with terfs isnt the terfs. im 18, ive been through a lot, i can handle a couple of terfs on my page. what bothers me is the young people, especially young girls & transmascs, that fall into the terf rabbithole on accident.

SO.

heres my quick & easy guide on how i personally check for terfs. PLEASE check for these signs. to protect yourself. ofc not all things immediately mean terf, but this is my personal checklist

rad and or fem in the url (IMMEDIATE red flag)

labrys lesbian flag (somewhat of a red flag, could be innocent young lesbian roped into it. if theyre an adult its a red flag)

if you click on the search icon it will show a bunch of commonly used tags. look at the tags. common tags wpuld be radfem, radical feminism, terfism, gender critical etc

look at where they reblog from. who theyre following if its public. what posts they like if thats public. look at the bios of these. if the terf doesnt have a bio and is trying to be stealthy, oftentimes the people they agree with are open about it. block both while youre at it

queer slur discourse (also done outside of terf circles but far more common among terfs, especially coupled with the "not queer, im lesbian" stuff (though thats understandable and not inherently terfy) and in combination with other red flags)

exclusionism (not inherently terfy but still a good point to look out for)

fixation on wombs and vulvas (immediate red flag no one but terfs is that obsessed with their reproductive organs)

the "LGB" community, or even the "remove the L" because they dont want to associate with gay & bi people

really big hatred of the concept of "genital preference". sexuality is only about genitals to them.

intense man hatred. they hate men so much. (also not an immediate red flag because yeah some of it is warranted but you can tell the difference between joking about trauma/standing up against the patriarchy and straight up... being a terf)

the term "ssa". stands for same sex attraction. (pretty big one i think. i personally have only heard it from terfs.)

febfem. bisexuals who only date women. (also one i didnt know about until like half an hour ago. also a big one)

this is one specific to the current time and might be obsolete soon but if theyre vocal amber heard supporters. those are ALL terfs.

terfs are also often swerfs. hating on sex workers (not the system, the system is fucked and we should recognize it) is terfy !

they like to refer to us (trans people) as a cult. which, to be honest, after this experience, im more likely to call them a cult. (if a terf disagrees with you, get ready for closing anon & gross bullshit in your notes. we have mutual circles, they have them too)

and of course green flags for trans people & trans allies, if they have these the odds of it being a terf are. a lot smaller

pronouns in bio

some variation of lgbtq+

following trans blogs

inclusive

mature fucking human being

and if you're in doubt whether or not its a terf, its better to block an innocent person than to interact with a terf, id say. odds are the innocent person doesnt care.

BUT!

let's say you said something they didn't like and now your post is circling in their shitty little group chat. what then? my suggestion would be to

CLOSE ANON ASKS. once their cult has found your page and realizes you post about trans things, or worse, are trans, they will harass you. anon gives a lot of confidence to send death threats. dont let them.

Block all of them. No, it's not gonna stop new ones from harassing you in their place, but it does make for a pretty nice blocklist.

If you need to, don't hesitate to step away from tumblr for a while. Not everyone can handle harassment, and it's okay to step away if it's too much.

Remember you're worth so much more than any of these terfs. Remember being trans is something to be proud of, remember you are loved, and most importantly, remember they're just terfs on the internet. laugh at them. make fun of them. they may say shitty things, but they can't actually hurt you. (anything that can hurt you, like doxxing, is illegal. get law enforcement if possible if you think you're in actual physical danger)

Best of all is to ignore it. Don't keep talking about it ("take your own advice" im working on it). it's not fun to harass someone who just ignores you.

If you really can't cope, it's okay to close your blog. You don't have to stay. Make a new blog. Only tell your mutuals.

(also, side note, i have a blocklist filled with terfs. i am absolutely down to share this blocklist with you, if you want somewhere to get started)

[pabossi]

honestly i havent ranted on my personal tumblr for a long long time, but i just need to get everything out of my system because im tired of letting it fester inside me and i honestly feel bad for my friends who have to deal with this bullshit from me all the time

anyways, to ****** (to which we shall further identify as chili) FUCK YOU like honestly, just fuck you, like idk, im tired of holding back my reactions and feelings and like this is extreme and there is no reason for me to say fuck you (i mean there is but like saying fuck you irl is like imo not necessary but like why am i justifying myself when this is purely for me and no one else) anyways fuck you, like fuck you for hurting my feelings, fuck you for ever making me feel like i was less than or not enough or hard to love. i am not hard to love, and this part of me does not make me damaged goods. i am not damaged. i am healing. 

fuck you for being so immature and deciding to “take a break from me” like, it wasnt earth shattering news and it shouldnt be something to drive you away. your reaction was so dumb and childish and the fact that we are no longer talking makes me so mad. and angry. and sad. it makes me wonder if you even miss my company. i miss talking and texting and facetiming and snapchatting all the time. i wonder if you miss doing that too. i wonder if you even meant anything you told me and i wonder if you’re ever going to come back into my life.

i don’t know if i would welcome you back. i might because i miss you but i might not because im tired of it. i thought we were getting to be really good friends and i was really enjoying our friendship. we had the good kind of banter going on and it made my days a little less boring.

too bad!! ur a fucking ass!!! A GODDAMN PUSSY!!!! I HOPE UR MOMMAS PROUD SHE RAISED A PUSSY FOR A SON MI CORAZON . fuck u, like fuck u for ever making me feel so shitty. grow a pair, u dumbass. GROW UP. u dumb fucking bitch. 

chili, u fucking suck and i hope u go suck a dick

to pistachio, i wish u would just let sleeping dogs lie. like why would u even do that... like i can fucking see it lol??????? at least... do it anonymously lol ... anyways, to put it in the words of my wise wise friend “it’s fucking shameful” and to purposefully shield the parts that actually matters away from the public eye WHILE UR TRYING TO GET SOME KIND OF VALIDATION ... like ok??

my best friend can vouch for me that i never said that to them.. like why would i be a terf and scream about that and furthermore i have no reason to call them ****** like... theyre the furthest thing from it.. so the fact that u said that makes me err on the side of U DEFINITELY POSTED IT FOR VALIDATION. and like, its whatever. i made my peace with it. u can do and say whatever u want about me. u can twist the story, and u can make it seem like it was about this when it really wasnt. i know what i really needed, and honestly im glad this happened now than later.

always saying dumb shit before you think it through and even excusing it is kinda shitty. everyone knows im pretty emotional and i rule with my heart but not even i am dumb enough to make rash comments. u cant even see one speck of truth in whatever i said to u because u dont want to believe in my truth. u dont want to believe that i can just fall out of love with you, who seemingly cant comprehend that you can do nothing wrong and still have the person you love fall out of love with you. so you twist my story, you make it seem like i want to hoe around, when that is the farthest from the case. i was hoping it could be a clean break, but you have literally made that impossible. 

im tired of u, just block me if u hate me so much. literally none of my posts (except for this one) are about u at all. so u r literally thinking too much of urself when looking at MY social media posts and thinking im being depressed and guilty and trying to manipulate u into feeling guilty. like just fucking unfollow me bro. theyre literally not even depressing either, u just cant stand to see me moving on and still be ok when clearly, ur still upset. why even bother checking up on me, clearly it just makes u angrier. 

but that just shows what u know cuz as everyone always says, what u see on social media is not what happens irl. but anyways, not that i want to give u a view of my irl, so ya. im tired of explaining myself to you and im tired of putting myself through extreme stress and emotional disturbance to try and make sure that we both come out of this relatively unscathed. 

please remove yourself from my group of friends as well because they dont have a strong favorable opinion about you really. like theyre not gonna straight up ignore u i guess, cuz theyre polite people, but none of them r gonna go out of their way to talk to u. and after that stunt, i dont see why my friends would reach out to you anyways cuz it was messed up lol. 

anyways goodbye, im tired, and with that, im shutting the book on this chapter