#im also nervous this is like.. too dark 😶 IDK lol

[a-a-d]

rant no. i don’t remember35687

posted this on my private instagram account

honestly it is scary to openly express on my main

i cannot believe there are still people out there

capable of hating in this time

do you even know how fucking DARK and SAD and unfortunately POWERFUL the word HATE is?

and you truly can do that?

i hope you heal

truly

so coming back 2 da point

rant no. i don’t remember :

got to wash my fucking hair today and that’s amazing cause i woke up at a good fucking time when society’s solar could take the fucking hot water and let me be hygienic cause now i’m genuinely wanting to have a fucking shower so that i take care of myself but life has its own ways no so i couldn’t for like 2 days 😃but i’m grateful for the hot fucking water i finally got today to pour on my body and clean up my bathroom real well and put up these beautiful fucking flowers that i received on 22nd january which is my birth date lol and i absolutely fucking love sunflowers and siya got me white ones and wow that is so thoughtful and i was really proud of myself for cleaning up n making this fucking sink look all clean and organised and nice and was wanting to share this dump on my main so spread some positivity but i’m so fucking tired 😄 of pretending so now i will fucking rant 😄 and not pretend. and maybe share all of this fucking shit on my main itself when i have the desire. cause social media should be fucking real. waah. waaaah. what a rant. waah. bye. ok. that was so much anger 😄😃 and now i will go back to praying for papa and making some music and writing 10 more songs i am too fucking sHY AND NERVOUs to share to the world FOR WHat 😃😄😃😄 IDK but i shall figure it out 😁😄😄😀 i love you all always man thanks for accepting me for who n what i am and whoever got till the end of this rant. mAN WHAT PATIENCE YOU HAVE i love you ok gn bye 😃 pls gimme also. but if u did reach the end let me know who u r. pls. <3 :) I JUST really want my father to be conscious and awake soon and his heart to recover it’s working only at 25%, he couldn’t sleep the whole night AND HIS artificial OXYGEN REQUIREMENT INCREASED AGAIN for his lungs 🫁 NO I WILL NOT LET thAt HAPPEN😃 logically possible?? nO 😃 SO I WILL FIND Other ways but please this cannot happen bye. see u soon cause i know this account is gonna turn CRAZY 😄 FULL 😄 YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED leave b4 it’s 2 late then don’t tell me i’m ‘too much’ just stfu 😄😃👋🏼😄😶 ok enuf said hAHA amruta OBVIOUSly ok stop-

i really don’t want my father to die

honestly i’m shook how i haven’t run away already and fallen for my impulse and not made selfish decisions and im still alive wow yay therapist said that me strong u all say me strong but me sometimes don’t feel strong

but thank u for reminding me that i am strong

maybe i am

guess that’s how im alive

but aren’t we all?

therapist also said i’m drowning further

cause i’m getting so deep into my diagnosis

cause in life a lot of people i love and love me back

have unintentionally labelled me with words

and diagnosis

and then i started doing that 2

but therapist said diagnosis are for doctors to understand

i am my own individual. i am not my diagnosis.

honestly now i just want to concentrate on being alive, making sure papa is alive, my family and loved ones are healthy and make some music. but before papa gets better my entire focus is just going to be his recovery.

.

.

.

whilst all of this happens my mother and uncle happen to be the only 2 emergency contacts in mumbai cause due to covid none of us are allowed to be in the hospital

i will be allowed to see him once he’s out of the covid unit

in case of emergency only i will go cause god forbid covid doesn’t leave and papa decides to i want to see him

cause in covid they don’t allow you to touch the bodies

:)

and and and guess whatttt

and meanwhile, my brother??? -_-

MY BROTHER who claims to be a mental health supporter

feminist ( pls this is the worst first apologise to ur own sis) -_-

kRanTikAari

i am in so much of shock :Ddddddd

my brother went and tried to take Hope’s ownership

from me too

his father’s genes

have started acting up

since he turned 25

they actually always existed and showed and it was fucking sad

and today the golden champ

i fucking loved so much

is a narcissist himself

a fake feminist

misogynist basically

tried to bring the whole family down

and says blocking everyone who ever says anything upsetting to him…so basically not convenient to him is ‘his approach’ to trauma -_- escape

oh -_- so you get to ‘run away’ at 30 -__-

conveniently use your ‘sister’ for ‘public support’ -__-

still keep the funds like a king that i have no idea about -__-

then still take money from the family you apparently hAtE -___-

then run away with Hope and separate her from Peace which is genuinely the biggest sin you can do due to which both of the pups go through so much of separation anxiety :(

then also block sister after she asks you to not involve her in your social media stunts -__-

right after you share Hope with her and she decides to help you -___- even financially

and then try to steal ownership from her

of her pet !!!

because you conveniently started calling her ‘yours’ after not even knowing what shampoo she’s been using for her body and her skin issues since 6 years -__-

due to lack of acceptance of your own mistakes

you go ahead and call everyone wrong

i wish you healing truly brother

i wish you truly work on healing your trauma

without lies and delusional stories you make up

for ‘public support’ and ‘amplification’

just to justify the trauma you have caused otherwise -_-

you aren’t the only one hurt !!! is my point !!! if only you understand, accepted and acknowledged this with the amount of grace you accept your own hurt with.

i don’t know why doesn’t your father do that for you -_-

and how do you get to blame us all -_- but ur own dad

go find him na -_- why every1 else -_-