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#im staying ocer at my bfs tonight hoping they'll have cleaned her up by tomorrow so i dont have to smell it
enterideahere ยท 2 years
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idk how to tell yall this but uh
#tw#tw death#death#decompositions#dead body#theres been a wierd smell im my aptmt staiwell for a week and well yeah u guessed it an old neighbour died#they just found her today its been a solid week if not more#listened in on the person who made the call in the hallway#on the moment i was shocked but ok#now i literally cant stop looking for that smell everywhere i go like paranoia#this one is going straight to the therapist i dont have#decomposition#tagging heavily because i used to be phobic of decomposing bodies#im good now but yeah its coming back im scared lol#it helps to remember she was a person and to respect her and it helps to see it from a scientific or curious standpoint#but i have to admit the phobia b peaking its lil head round the corned and im sesly scared#idk if its still lingering on me or in my nose or if im just remembering it but the smell is following me aeound and i get wiffs of it#im staying ocer at my bfs tonight hoping they'll have cleaned her up by tomorrow so i dont have to smell it#it wasnt pleasant all week but the moment i figured out what it really was i just couldnt stand it anymore#idk when ill fewl ok to go back tbh#somehow everything in my home feels contaminated by the idea of her#thats the phobia speakimg#after i left i remember sitting in the parc and suddenly feeling an immense rush of love for her#thanking her for everything#so wxcited for her existence#it sounds silly but i felt infinitely greatful to her for making me go ourside and see the mountains and how beautiful they were#and how wonderful life is#all my heart and soul was sending her the most sparkling and profound love wherever she was
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