#imagine JGY rolling up to a fortune teller and they're just going 'what the fuck what the fuckkkkk'

[poorlittleyaoyao]

in which my tarot deck maps out Jin Guangyao's self-damning career choices

Tarot cards are a fun way to facilitate self-reflection. Human brains love patterns, and the images, symbolism, and meanings associated with each card provide rich narrative potential. Generally speaking, no matter what cards you pull, you'll be able to create a story with some application to your own life (or the life of the person for whom you're reading).

But sometimes, if you're me, your deck gives you something buckwild that makes ZERO sense for you. You pull an additional card for clarity and it only makes the meaning more obscure. You pull a second clarity card, and the cards are spelling out a very clear arc but it does not apply to you in any way--thankfully, because YIKES.

And then you realize that your tarot deck has spat out an in-depth reading for Jin Guangyao. Again.

COME WITH ME ON A JOURNEY~

If you read tarot at all, you will have noticed and been troubled by the THREE MAJOR ARCANA CARDS HAPPENING, one of which is THE GODDAMN TOWER. This is bananas. If you as a real-life regular human get something like this for yourself and it actually applies, you are really going through it.

So! This started as a regular three-card spread. Read left to right, this can be construed as "past, present, future" or "cause, outcome, consequence."

PAST/CAUSE: The Tower reversed

The Tower is infamously the "oh shit oh fuck" card. Remember the "2020 Tarot Deck: Oops, All Towers!" meme? Yeah. The Tower means a major upheaval, often a calamitous one. Reversed, it's still major, but a bit less dire: an upheaval is happening/has happened, and you need to accept it.

For Meng Yao, this could apply to both his exile from Qinghe and the fall of Wen Ruohan. I'm inclined to say the latter because of the reversal He's not being cast out of this Tower; he's upending it himself. Still, he's reached a point of no return. What comes next?

PRESENT/OUTCOME: Ace of Wands reversed

Wands are about ingenuity, change, and action, and aces are about new beginnings. Thus, the Ace of Wands is about taking chances and making some big moves... except it's reversed here, so those big moves might not turn out the way you anticipated.

Wow! Meng Yao--excuse me, Jin Guangyao--is a war hero and got officially acknowledged by his father! He's even got a shiny new name to show for it! Sure, the name implies that he doesn't belong to the generation of potential sect heirs, but that's probably just an oversight. His dad will definitely reward him if he works hard and does his very best! Right? Right???

FUTURE/CONSEQUENCE: Four of Cups upright

Cups are about emotions and interpersonal relationships. The Four of Cups means that something is off with those things: you're discouraged, you're depressed, and you're prioritizing the wrong things. The artist for this deck illustrates this with a woman who sits with her eyes closed and her hands tucked up against her, either unaware of the cups around her or unwilling to reach for him. "It may speak to disappointment in a specific person or situation," says the book.

WHAT'S THAT, A-YAO? DID SELLING YOUR SOUL TO YOUR DAD NOT WORK OUT THE WAY YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD? ARE YOU PERHAPS HAVING A BAD TIME IN A HELL OF YOUR OWN CREATION?

It's worth noting that Pentacles--the minor arcana suit about security, wealth, and material success--do NOT come up anywhere in this reading. Given how crucial these are to JGY's motivations, their absence is curious. Perhaps the lack of Pentacles is because wealth and success aren't the problems here; the issue is his increasingly fucked-up personal life. Or perhaps there are no Pentacles because poverty and that fundamental lack of security is what led him here in the first place and nothing can be done about it.

If you're left scratching your head after reading your initial spread, you can draw additional cards to clear things up! In the Doylist sense, this cleared things up for me because I realized oh, this is about a blorbo. In the Watsonian sense, let's imagine these cards getting pulled because JGY needs more info about what's wrong.

CLARITY CARD 1: The Moon upright

The Moon is basically "THERE ARE TWO WOLVES INSIDE YOU" as a card. It shows up when the querent is dealing with profound uncertainty, "grappling with doubt, deception, illusion, or a lack of focus" as the book puts it. It represents a choice between emotion+intuition or intellect+rationality, neither of which is an inherently "better" option; it depends on the situation.

So our boy JGY is torn between the rational choice and his gut feelings... and in JGY's case, I'd argue that he follows his gut impulses more than he thinks he does. It is not rational to commit unforgivable crimes at your father's behest, thus putting yourself fully at his mercy. It's not rational to knowingly marry and have a child with your sister and never tell her you're related. (In CQL, that is; in the novel, with the child coming before the knowledge, his choice has more merit.) It's also not rational to leave so many loose ends alive. He's not making chessmaster plays here; he's acting out of fear, sentimentality, and a deeply flawed schema. "Please stop," says this card.

Hmm! Not great! Maybe a new card will help?

CLARITY CARD 2: The Chariot reversed

The Chariot is about willpower, progress, and victory! Except it's reversed, which means your victory was a destructive one that completely ruined you.

Sorry, bud.