#int: alice crouch

[mahdi-sadeq]

Deranged MuggerA Screenplay by Madhi Sadeq

INT. KINGS CROSS STATION, LONDON - AFTERNOON

Adorable navigator DCI ANDY THORNTON is arguing with remarkable scout MRS RACHEL OLSSON. ANDY tries to hug RACHEL but she shakes him off.

ANDY

Please Rachel, don't leave me.RACHEL

I'm sorry Andy, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.ANDY

I am such a person!

RACHEL frowns.

RACHEL

I'm sorry, Andy. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.

RACHEL leaves.

ANDY sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, energetic computer programmer MADAME ALICE COCKLE barges in looking flustered.

ANDY

Goodness, Alice! Is everything okay?ALICE

I'm afraid not.ANDY

What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...ALICE

It's ... a mugger ... I saw an evil mugger mug a bunch of baby birds!ANDY

Defenseless

baby birds?ALICE

Yes, defenseless baby birds!ANDY

Bloomin' heck, Alice! We've got to do something.ALICE

I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.ANDY

You can start by telling me where this happened.ALICE

I was...

ALICE fans herself and begins to wheeze.

ANDY

Focus Alice, focus! Where did it happen?ALICE

Tower Bridge, London! That's right - Tower Bridge, London!

ANDY springs up and begins to run.

EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

ANDY rushes along the street, followed by ALICE. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

EXT. TOWER BRIDGE, LONDON - SHORTLY AFTER

HECTOR PARKES a deranged mugger terrorises two baby birds.

ANDY, closely followed by ALICE, rushes towards HECTOR, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

ALICE

What is is? What's the matter?ANDY

That's not just any old mugger, that's Hector Parkes!ALICE

Who's Hector Parkes?ANDY

Who's Hector Parkes?

Who's Hector Parkes?

Only the most deranged mugger in the universe!ALICE

Blinkin' knickers, Andy! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most deranged mugger in the universe!ANDY

You can say that again.ALICE

Blinkin' knickers, Andy! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most deranged mugger in the universe!ANDY

I'm going to need blades, lots of blades.

Hector turns and sees Andy and Alice. He grins an evil grin.

HECTOR

Andy Thornton, we meet again.ALICE

You've met?ANDY

Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young ANDY is sitting in a park listening to some piano music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees HECTOR. He takes off his headphones.

HECTOR

Would you like some jelly babies?

ANDY's eyes light up, but then he studies HECTOR more closely, and looks uneasy.

ANDY

I don't know, you look kind of deranged.HECTOR

Me? No. I'm not deranged. I'm the least deranged mugger in the world.ANDY

Wait, you're a mugger?

ANDY runs away, screaming.

EXT. TOWER BRIDGE, LONDON - PRESENT DAY

HECTOR

You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.ALICE

(To ANDY) You ran away?ANDY

(To ALICE) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?

ANDY turns to HECTOR.

ANDY

I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!

ANDY runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

ANDY

I mean, I

am

running away, but I'll be back -

with blades

.HECTOR

I'm not scared of you.ANDY

You should be.

EXT. CENTRAL PARK, NEW YORK - LATER THAT DAY

ANDY and ALICE walk around searching for something.

ANDY

I feel sure I left my blades somewhere around here.ALICE

Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly blades.ANDY

You know nothing Alice Cockle.ALICE

We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.

Suddenly, HECTOR appears, holding a pair of blades.

HECTOR

Looking for something?ALICE

Crikey, Andy, he's got your blades.ANDY

Tell me something I don't already know!ALICE

The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.ANDY

I know that already!ALICE

I still wear nappies.HECTOR

(appalled) Dude!

While HECTOR is looking at ALICE with disgust, ANDY lunges forward and grabs his deadly blades. He wields them, triumphantly.

ANDY

Prepare to die, you deranged potato!HECTOR

No please! All I did was mug a bunch of baby birds!

RACHEL enters, unseen by any of the others.

ANDY

I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those baby birds were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Andy Thornton defender of innocent baby birds.HECTOR

Don't hurt me! Please!ANDY

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these blades on you right away!HECTOR

Because Andy, I am your father.

ANDY looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

ANDY

No you're not!HECTOR

Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

HECTOR tries to grab the blades but ANDY dodges out of the way.

ANDY

Who's the daddy now? Huh?

Huh?

Unexpectedly, HECTOR slumps to the ground.

ALICE

Did he just faint?ANDY

I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly blades.

ANDY crouches over HECTOR's body.

ALICE

Be careful, Andy. It could be a trick.ANDY

No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Hector Parkes is dead!ANDY

What?ANDY

Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.

ALICE claps her hands.

ALICE

So your blades did save the day, after all.

RACHEL steps forward.

RACHEL

Is it true? Did you kill the deranged mugger?ANDY

Rachel how long have you been...?

RACHEL puts her arm around ANDY.

RACHEL

Long enough.ANDY

Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Hector Parkes.RACHEL

Then the baby birds are safe?ANDY

It does seem that way!

A crowd of vulnerable baby birds enter, looking relived.

RACHEL

You are their hero.

The baby birds bow to ANDY.

ANDY

There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Hector Parkes will never mug baby birds ever again, is enough for me.RACHEL

You are humble as well as brave!

One of the baby birds passes ANDY a magic pendant

RACHEL

I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.ANDY

I couldn't possibly.

Pause.

ANDY

Well, if you insist.

ANDY takes the pendant.

ANDY

Thank you.

The baby birds bow their heads once more, and leave.

ANDY turns to RACHEL.

ANDY

Does this mean you want me back?RACHEL

Oh, Andy, of course I want you back!

ANDY smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

ANDY

Well you can't have me.RACHEL

WHAT?

ANDY

You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a mugger to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.RACHEL

But...ANDY

Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Alice.

ALICE grins.

RACHEL

But...ALICE

You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!RACHEL

Andy?ANDY

I'm sorry Rachel, but I think you

should

skidaddle.

RACHEL leaves.

ALICE turns to ANDY.

ALICE

Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?ANDY

Of course you are!

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly ALICE stops.

ALICE

When I said I still wear nappies, you know I was just trying to distract the mugger don't you?THE END

[viralyani]

List of English models, including models born in England and female fashion models of English descent. These women from cities like London and Yorkshire are among the hottest women ever to walk the runways for designers, and girls around the world look to these sexy ladies as role models. Here are the hottest English fashion models ever to do commercials, print ads, and fashion shows.

For decades, supermodels such as Janice Dickinson, Cheryl Tiegs, and Gisele Bündchen have been called on to don couture gowns, casual clothing, swimsuits, and sexy lingerie. They make these clothes look their best to sell them in magazines, catalogs, and TV advertisements. Famous for their hot bodies and beautiful faces, entrepreneurs like Tyra Banks and Heidi Klum have crossed over from modeling into TV hosting. Other famous models like Milla Jovovich and Brooklyn Decker have launched successful careers in film.

The women on this English model list hail from all over the world, including the New Zealand, Ghana, and the good ol' USA - and there are many mixed-race models as well. Vote for your favorites to move them to the top of the list, or press re-rank to create your own list of the best English models.These British models (or UK models female) are some of the sexiest women alive. Who do you think is the hottest British model?

1-Lucy Pinder

Lucy Katherine Pinder (born 20 December 1983) is an English model and actress. She came to prominence in 2003 after being discovered by a freelance photographeron Bournemouth beach and has appeared in such publications as FHM,[1] Nuts, Loaded, and the Daily Star.

2-Kelly Brook

Kelly Brook (born 23 November 1979) is an English model, actress and television presenter best known for her modelling work in the UK, and in the US for her role in the NBC sitcom One Big Happy, as well as a regular panelist on Celebrity Juice. She has featured as a guest on a number of shows including Strictly Come Dancing and The Nightly Show.

Brook has been called a sex symbol and style icon. She was crowned FHM's Sexiest Woman In The World in 2005 and as of 2015 had appeared in every FHM 100 Sexiest countdown since 1998.

3-Keira Knightley

Keira Christina Knightley is an English actress. She began acting as a child on television and made her film debut in 1995. She had a supporting role as Sabé in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace and her first significant role came in the psychological horror film The Hole. She gained widespread recognition in 2002 after co-starring in the film Bend It Like Beckham and achieved international fame in 2003 after appearing as Elizabeth Swann in the Pirates of the Caribbean film series. Since the Pirates of the Caribbean films, Knightley has become known for starring in period drama films such as Pride & Prejudice, Atonement, Silk

4-Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

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Rosie Alice Huntington-Whiteley is an English model and actress. She is best known for her work for lingerie retailer Victoria's Secret and for being one of their prestigious brand 'Angels' too. She has also worked for Burberry and was the face for their 2011 brand fragrance 'Burberry Body'. Also she is well known for her supporting role as Carly Spencer in the 2011 film Transformers: Dark of the Moon, the third installment in the Transformers film series.

5-Elizabeth Hurley

Elizabeth Jane "Liz" Hurley is an English actress and model. She has been associated with the cosmetics company Estée Lauder since the company gave Hurley her first modelling job at the age of 29. It has featured her as a representative and model for its products, especially perfumes such as Sensuous, Intuition, and Pleasures, since 1995. Hurley owns an eponymous beachwear line. As an actress, her best-known film roles to date have been as Vanessa Kensington in Mike Myers' hit spy comedy, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery and as the Devil in Bedazzled. In the 1990s, Hurley became known as the girlfriend of Hugh Grant. In 1994, as Grant became the focus of int... more on Wikipedia

6-Emma Watson

Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson is an English actress, model, and activist. Watson rose to prominence as Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter film series, appearing in all eight Harry Potter films from 2001 to 2011, previously having acted only in school plays. The franchise earned Watson worldwide fame, critical accolades, and more than £10 million. She continued to work outside of the Harry Potter films, first lending her voice to The Tale of Despereaux and appearing in the television adaptation of the novel Ballet Shoes. Since then, she has taken on starring roles in The Perks of Being a Wallflower and The Bling Ring, made a brief appearance as an "exaggerated" version ... more on Wikipedia

7-Alice Goodwin

Alice Goodwin is a British glamour model from Stoke-on-Trent, England. Goodwin attended Keele University studying English and Education before she was discovered by talent scouts from Daily Star while sunbathing on Bournemouth beach. As well as appearing in the Daily Star, she has also modeled for various men's magazines including Zoo Weekly, Nuts and Maxim. In 2009, she was voted Zoo Weekly's hottest topless babe of the year. ... more on Wikipedia

8-Abbey Clancy 

Abigail Marie "Abbey" Crouch is a British lingerie and catwalk model and television presenter. She is married to footballer Peter Crouch, was the runner-up of Britain's Next Top Model, Cycle 2 and won series 11 of Strictly Come Dancing in 2013. ... more on Wikipedia

9-Danielle Sharp

Danielle Sharp is a model from England. Her full name is Danielle Kristie Sharp. ... more on Wikipedia

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10-Helen Flanagan

Helen Joyce Gabriel Flanagan is an English actress, model, and television personality. She is best known for playing the role of Rosie Webster in the ITV soap opera Coronation Street from 2000 to 2012. She was voted the most attractive British candidate in the 2013 FHM 100 Sexiest Women in the World poll. ... more on Wikipedia

via ViralYani