#it's 12:46am i'm emotional

[evie-sturns]

period - 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀 𝗦𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗼

summary: you unexpectedly get your period after spending the night with chris, he does everything he can to make you feel better.

contains: mentions of blood, fluff, crying, swearing.

----------------┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐------------———

chris and i have been dating for almost two months, i sleep over at his house often though, including last night.

9:46am

i'm rudely awakened by frantic tapping on my shoulder, i rub my eyes and roll over where i'm met with chris's distraught face. "hm..?" i groan out.

"y/n, are you okay" chris rambles, his vision flicks between my eyes and the matress.

"what..?" i mumble, my vision is still partially blurred from the sudden wake up.

"you're bleeding" chris says quietly, swallowing harshly.

i sit up, the matress is dotted with blood, along with the small pyjama set i wore last night.

my period has always been irregular, ever since i was about 12. i'd never know when it would come but i would just deal with it when it did.

my stomach sinks, my cheeks instantly flush from embarrassment, this is the kind of thing thats meant to happen 2 years into your relationship, not 2 months.

my eyes start to burn, im already an emotional person but now that this has just happened i don't think i can physically be okay.

"im so sorry chris." i say, my voice breaking.

chris clears his throat, i can tell he's slightly awkward about this.

the silence in the room grows, but is quickly cut short by a sob coming from me. chris's head snaps round to look at me, "oh fuck-.. no its okay!"

he gets out of bed, without a second thought he leans over the matress and picks me up in a bridal position. he speed walks to the bathroom, "look at me." chris says calmly as i cry into his shoulder, i tilt my head up and lock eyes with him. "don't cry sweetheart, it doesn't matter to me."

i nod with a sniffle, he places me down on two feet. "you wanna get in the bath?" chris says gently.

"yeah.." i say, my voice still wobbling.

i stand still with my hands by my side vulnerably. "you want me to.." chris whispers, keeping his eyes locked on mine. "if you dont mind.." i reply.

he reaches his hand out and peels my tank top off of my body, along with my shorts. he does it so nonchalantly its impressive.

chris has only seen me naked once, which was only a week or so ago after our first hookup.

he flicks the bath on, putting his finger under the stream to check the temperature before lifting me up and placing me down.

chris bends over and picks up the pyjamas, before leaving the bathroom, closing the door behind him. i throw my head back as soon as he goes "how did this happen." i groan to myself.

-

about 10 minutes has passed, the whole time i've just been trying to calm myself, crying about this isn't gonna make it any less embarrassing for me.

my head snaps to the side as i hear 2 soft knocks on the wooden door, "come in" i say with a forced smile, chris peeks his head round the corner with a sympathetic look. hes got a freshly folded pair of sweatpants and a hoodie in his arms, which he places down on the sink. "you okay?" he asks casually, sitting down on the side of the tub.

"i mean, i'm okay as i can be right now!" i smile warmly up at chris,

he reaches into his pocket and clears his throat "i found this downstairs, i think one of nick's friends left it here-..uh" chris murmmers, pulling a tampon out of his pocket.

"thank you chris, honestly i'm sorry about being a pain." i sigh, chris shakes his head "no you're good, promise."

"just gonna go make the bed, yeah?" chris sits up off the tub and walks out of the bathroom.

-

after getting myself together i open the door to the bedroom, chris is sitting on the bed, laying the pillows out strategically. i feel like a kid thats just thrown up, staring at my parent who just had to bathe me and clean the sheets.

he stands up and runs over to me full force, grabbing me around my waist and picking me up, earning a high pitched squeal from me. "chris!!" i screech as he flops down on the bed with me still in his arms.

"what can i actually do to repay you." i whisper into chris's chest.

"give me some awesome head next week."

"christopher."

----------------┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐------------———

[ximogeeeenx]

Fifth day:

IN THE MIDDLE OF CHAOS, THERE WAS YOU, KEN

7/16/2024 12:46AM

I always feel the need to bottle up my true feelings and emotions, to always just keep it to myself, instead of bothering other people.

But somehow, you've always seen right through me.

You can see it when I'm not okay, when something hurts, and when something bad happened, and it feels so great having you listen to all of my problems.

With you, I don't always feel the need to be tough. That I can also be weak and vulnerable, that I don't always have to be independent, and that it's okay for me to count on you and let you take care of my heart.

You're the best thing that ever came into my life.

You have no idea how much I appreciate you being in this world, my safest place. No matter what comes in my life, I know that it will be okay, because I have you by my side.

Ken, you made me feel things i haven't felt before.

Ken, I really didn't believe in the world of liking and loving someone until I met you.

I always watched cutesy, romantic, books or dramas thinking if I was ever gone experience this type of feeling. Hindi ko alam na mararanasan ko ulit ito. But surely now that you're here, I'd do anything as corny just to make you stay with me.

You really know how to make my heartbeat so fast. Oh, how'd you made me act like this?

Please take care of yourself, my Brutus

Imogen.

[dawnpil]

it’s funny, i didn’t necessarily think i was gonna make one of these posts, and i’m still not entirely sure what i have to say. 

but i got into astro because of some of my friends acting in my junior year musical. they were the only two people i knew at my high school who were as into kpop as i was, and a year older than me, and i sort of latched onto them, because i had no one else to talk to about the groups i liked. one day during dinner, before they had to go start doing hair and makeup and i had to go sweep and preset the stage for the top of show, they pulled me aside and showed me a video on one of their phones, not the greatest quality but good enough to show me three boys dancing to a bruno mars song, and they persuaded me to fall in love. 

this was before debut, and i was busy; i didn’t follow up as much as i should have, but over the next few days they showed me more videos, and one day they looked at me and said “this one, rocky, he’s my bias, she biases bin, so you can have sanha.” that was fine--he was cute, and i didn’t know them enough to refute that. but then they told me to watch tbc, and i did, and i caught myself paying more attention to rocky than to sanha, and i felt terrible. i felt like i owed it to the other girls, so i could continue to have people to fangirl with, to not start to bias someone they had already claimed, and it made it hard to stan astro with that internal conflict. 

but breathless came out over the summer, and i didn’t have the girls leaning over my shoulder or holding the phone, and i decided it couldn’t hurt, so i came back. i followed some blogs, messaged a prominent member of the fandom, and fumbled my way through getting my first sideblog from her, and i let myself love park minhyuk with everything i had. that was one of the best decisions i’ve ever made, because it led me to a wonderful fandom and people so full of love and a sense of community i didn’t know i could get just from stanning a group. i gave up on the girls; their possessiveness was something other rocky stans taught me was wrong, and i had people online i could gush to who would understand and join in rather than get mad.

i kind of dove headfirst into the fandom: i wrote a few things, got too busy to keep that up, then got into a group chat that’s still active over two years later, 6 girls my age i struggled through college apps with, cried with about comebacks, cried with and to about work and friend drama and school, and in a way grew up with. @ the roach stays here, i love y’all so much no matter how you may pronounce pecan, and @ ani thank you so much for organizing the gc. 

i drifted away from astro at times, no matter how much i tried to avoid it. i got into other groups, finished high school, started college. somehow, though, i’ve always come back, and i think that’s the most important thing about astro for me. i’ve always come back. it doesn’t matter what i get busy with or how long or how far i may drift, i always return for the comebacks, always dive headfirst right back in, and there’s never been another group i’ve done that for. typically once i drift i leave fully, even if i might dip my toes in every now and then. with astro, that’s impossible, and that’s as much because of aroha’s acceptance and love as it is the comfort to be found in our six shining stars. this is the first fandom i found a home in, and too much of my heart is rooted in this family of idols and fans to ever fail to return. and there’s no pressure to stay; i can leave and come running back with a different sideblog full of different content and no one will care, other than to be happy i’m back. that comfort is irreplaceable, and so difficult to find, and i know we all treasure this community, but it never hurts to say it again: this group, this family, is wonderful and loving and kind and home, and i’ve always come back for those reasons, just as much as i have for our boys, for our stars. 

i’ll always come back. 

[bokutosbiceps]

Hey~ I'm new here, but I really wanted someone to write a MidorimaxReader where Shin-chan is trying to comfort his stressed and very sad girlfriend (for no reason in particular), you think you could do it? It would mean the world to me. Thanks, all the love xx

i wrote this specially for you, my sweet. i hope things start to look up and all your headaches and worry warts be gone! enjoy :)

- Admin Pocky

ps. italics are text messages

under the cut for length :)

You sat at your desk, head in your hands, staring at the planner in front of you. You had so much–too much–to do, and no time at all. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d had a day to yourself, or had a day where you could just sit down and spend time with your boyfriend, whom you hadn’t seen in almost two days.

Remembering you actually had a phone, you scoured your room for it, finding it lying in between a pile of clothes and some papers from last week’s exam study guide.

You tried to turn it on, but from its lack of attention, it turned out to be dead. You plugged it in and went back to your desk, starting to look over the calendar for your class schedule and wondering how in the world you were going to have time to eat, sleep, and breathe.

The myriad of vibrations coming from the pile of laundry scared you almost half to death due to your on-edge state, and once you had calmed down and realized what the noise was from, you walked over to your phone and shifted through the notifications.

You were surprised to find that most of them were from Midorima.

One Week Ago

8:32pm - Y/n-kun, you looked upset at dinner tonight, did I do something wrong?8:40pm - It’s rude to ignore someone who is concerned about you, even if you are mad.9:21pm - I’m going to bed. Please text me when you have sorted out your feelings.

Two Days Ago

6:05am - Y/n-kun, you’re starting to worry me. Please let me know if you’re okay. I will try to wait until you text me back to see you.8:12am - Why are you avoiding me? Y/n-kun, I haven’t even seen you at school for about a week.4:57pm - I guess this is a hint for me to stop bothering you. I just want you to know that I love you, and if I did something wrong I would like for us to talk about it so it won’t happen again in our future.11:42pm - Goodnight, y/n, I love you.

Today

3:16am - Y/n, please, I can’t stop worrying about you. I need to see you, I need to know that you’re okay.7:28am - I spoke to your mother and she says that you’re probably just busy. If that is the case, please let me come over. I can help.10:30am - Listen, y/n, I am a considerate man, you know that. But I am not above coming over to your house uninvited, because I am worried about you.11:46am - I am on my way. I need to make sure you’re okay.

You widened your eyes at Midorima’s last text before glancing at the clock. It was 12:03pm, he was bound to be at your house any minute now. You darted to the bathroom to take a quick look in the mirror, growing even more horrified at your disheveled head of hair and dark circles under your eyes.

You ran back to your room to get your bag of makeup and other things to make it look like you were perfectly fine, but ran straight into someone in the hallway.

You began to fall backwards, but a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist and kept you steady, and pulled you to a strong chest. You knew who it was, but you kept your eyes squeezed shut for fear of what his expression at your appearance may be.

“Y/n, why are your eyes closed? You wouldn’t have run into me if they were open.” Midorima states, still holding on to you. You feel your bottom lip start to tremble and you squeeze your eyes shut even tighter, not wanting to cry in front of your boyfriend.

You didn’t even know why you wanted to cry, the wave of emotion just from seeing him hit you like a tsunami—love, fear, guilt, anxiety, and happiness hit you all at the same time. And before long, you were staining his sweater with your tears and saliva, the tight fist of stress, anxiety, and bottled-up feels finally being unclenched.

Midorima stiffened, not sure as to why you were crying or why he felt so moved by your tears; he sighed and picked you up bridal style, carrying you close to his chest so that your head always had a place to rest. When he reached your room, he kicked the door shut and sat down on your bed, taking in the unkempt state of the room.

Papers from last week’s exam study guide were piled in the corner, your desk was flooded with the planners you kept for your academic, social, and extracurricular activities, and dirty laundry was scattered everywhere. He spotted the phone on its charger in the corn atop a pile of dirty laundry and deduced what had happened. And the fact that your bed didn’t look like it had been slept in for a while.

“Y/n, what’s been going on?” Midorima asked quietly, letting his taped fingers trace your cheekbone lightly. You whimpered at the long-awaited touch of your boyfriend, surprised at his affection and gentle tone. You brought your arms to circle his neck and hugged him as tight as you could, trying to apologize without words.

“I’ve missed you so much.” You choked outenforcing biting back another sob.

“And I, you.” He continued to lightly trace your cheekbone, your jawline, your chin, anywhere that he could see had been tainted by tears.

“I am in way over my head.” You sniffled, letting Midorima go and leaning back to look at him. He looked worried. More worried than you had ever seen him—it was etched into every line and jut of his face. “I have more on my plate than I can handle…and I guess, I thought I could do it, but I ended up just becoming a recluse. And making you worry.”

“Y/n, you know you can’t get rid of me that easily.” Midorima joker unknowingly, making you giggle through the phlegm in your throat. “Why are you laughing, nanodayo?”

“I’m not trying to get rid of you, Shin. I’d never do that.” You sighed and ran a hand through your tangled hair. “And I’m sorry about my phone, I just became to busy and too stressed to even look at it…I never got any of your messages until literally twenty minutes ago.”

“Don’t worry about that now, y/n, that’s in the past. I’m glad to know you’re alive and not mad at me. You are one of the most determined and intelligent people I’ve ever met, and I know you can do a lot of things on your own, but please, remember that you can always come to me when you need anything. ” Midorima is quiet for a moment, and you can feel him tense up again before he lets out a sigh. “I’d do anything for you at this point.” He says slowly.

“Is this your worry talking or…are you sick?”

“I’m being serious, nanodayo. Having you disappear for a week made me realize…how much better it makes my life to have your around. I enjoy your company…and…I need you in my life. Please don’t disappear again.”

You buried your face in your hands for fear of letting your furious blush make your room glow, and felt the wave of tears wash over you again.

“Please don’t make me cry again, Shin.” You laughed, rubbing at your eyes. “I have a lot to do…and I could use your help getting organized.”

“Well then, let’s take a look at these schedules.” Midorima said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, lifting both of you off the bed and setting you on your feet.

“Shin?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

[you-make-me-lovelyyy]

it's 4:46AM.

‎

i'm now starting to question my brain more than usual, "what are you up to, my brain? are you going to further question everything or shut still with deafening silence?" either way, i really dislike the times where i feel so vulnerable and spilling. i found myself today talking about love with an old friend of mine and later on with ate cring (she's having fun i guess, my kwentos are really wild this time...iM i don't know what im doing). i also think that i'm manifesting through the words of ate cring lately, she's spitting out things that i've been thinking about for some time now. we were analyzing stuff. i tracked the budget for this pandemic ! i'm not yet done though, there's really a lot of fact checking to do and did you know that the actual spending didn't even reached the 50% of the allocated budget? smh. i'm really mad. i've also been cross checking all the votes for the bill, unfortunately, the congress did a poor job in properly recording the votes as it was revealed that some of those who voted no and abstained were registered as yes. thank susej for the community for sending out mails to their respective representatives to change or clarify their votes. earlier, from 12 more withdrawals, it was cut down to 7 for the tide of this mess to dissolve. *sighs* lately, i just feel deeply bothered with a lot of things—like i might die without discussing it with someone... may it be from existential questions or political and sociocultural problems... i just really feel like the need to further understand what's happening around me or to what everything is for. also found myself not reacting right away to the news. i'm becoming rather slow with processing stuff these days. bUt,,, there's no war won in anger alone, right? i think, people are relying more on this emotion though. but yeah gotta stop blabbering about this, it will make this post longer and i don't want to bother u that long uwu

‎

‎

going bacc to love stuff, ate cring said na magiging valid lang inquiry ko if i asked three people so my friend isn't that credible no? so, since she's the one who said it, i ended up asking ate cring too HAHAHA.

it's really funny how i wasn't comfortable with talking about crushes nor love before. im getting older, but not once did i felt the urge to actually be in a romantical stuff. not that i'm really worried about it, just a random thought. a curiosity on a very ungodly hour. luckyy though becos some of my friends are still awake at three.

‎

anyway on the other hand,,, i've been building my art space upstairs ! it'll take me more than a month to finish it though or smthn,,,, bahala na but i'm really taking time with a lot of things, it's more dreadful lately, i found myself stuck and in argument with my biological mom but yeah it's alright.

‎

p.s. tatanungin sana kita how it feels to fall in love or be in love bUT oMG oo nga pala this hooman knows nothing of it HAHAHAHA CHRT i miss u mum *hugs*

‎

‎

time check: 5:35AM, kumusta ka na?