#it's an oppotunity of a lifetime for me it can't just go to waste
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I may or may are about to have a cat
but the responsibility of being a cat owner and having a choice not to be if I'm too scared...
is even worse honestly
#there's definetely a guide there right#god I'm good only at playing games that I like and talking about whatever I like#and god... being a college student AND having a cat sounds like a nightmare#since I live alone#as a student.#so I don't have THAT much money to throw away to make the cat's life perfect#I CAN just say no#but I wanted to have a cat my whole life#and I never had a chance to REALLY have one that I named and cared for fully#but what if I kill that little kitten#AND WHAT IF---#goddddddddddd I'm a mess#but I'm really getting through ch 418-419 mess#by worrying about a kitten that may or may not take#imagine people thinking irl that you're a bad person#and here you are worrying about a theoretical kitten being hurt#but WHAT IF I'm not good enough for that kitten as an owner#*cries*#and the worst part is#I can say I don't want to do it#but I do#kinda#it's an oppotunity of a lifetime for me it can't just go to waste#at least if I'm not feeling good I'm not hurting others with it#but it WILL hurt the kitten since that little guy will live with me#god I need to calm down#in any case it really feels like it'll not come true#too good to be true you know?#the moment I'm ready it'll be actually impossible and there goes my confidence again
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