#it's not like i haven't dropped games in the past - i find it incredibly difficult to play ultrakill because despite the fact that i grew up

[fionnaskyborn]

pros of learning how to play fighting game:

undergoing a learning experience, trying out something entirely different from anything i have previously played

i get to look at a little guy do cool things on my screen :)

cons of learning how to play fighting game:

i am clumsy as all hell with the inputs

the order in which you press and/or hold buttons to create inputs is less like trying to get a sequence of movements right and more like playing a rhythm game (down then while not letting go of down press forward then let go of down and THEN press an attack button on the other side of the keyboard). i suck at rhythm games. hell world

sometimes, the damn things just... won't register? at all? you do a half circle to forward input and the game says "half circle forward? oh, sorry, that's ensenga :)" or, worse, "too slow, that's a regular heavy slash move :)". brother. why must you do me like this.

the area between the knuckles of my ring and little finger hurts like a motherfucker (though this has hurt in various areas since at least this morning, but i'm willing to bet that practicing quarter and half circle inputs for at least an hour did not make the situation any better)

[raycatz]

I wish so much that I could fully enjoy totk but I am struggling so much. Idk why some of the decisions for the game are the way they are. I can't help but be critical given how important the series and botw are to me.

I feel like the game is struggling to have its own identity. I feel like some creature has wormed its way into botw's skin and is wearing it poorly.

(So far I've played through the Gerudo and Rito story quests. What I've written here though is mostly about the world and direction. I just need to get some of these thoughts out. There are spoilers.)

The three main criticisms people had with botw were the story, weapon durability, and dungeons- and man so far in totk these things have only been worse. (The boss fights are incredible though)

The framerate drops whenever I use ultrahand, and combined with my left joycon drifting it makes trying to use the new mechanic difficult to the point that I will avoid it to do something else.

Some of the game does feel like mashed up dlc ideas. I would have preferred them to be dlc even. If the Zelda devs wanted to tell this story or make a game with these mechanics I wish they would have made an entirely new game instead of using botw.

So far totk has no through-lines between itself and botw. No one has mentioned the Champions, only a single npc has talked about the Calamity, no one has mentioned Calamity Ganon or the divine beasts Link calmed, and only a few people recognize Link himself. The champion successors I've met haven't spoken of the Champions or their divine beasts which is strange given how they spoke of them in botw, and at most have only referred to Link having been there in the past as, "when you helped us" without any specifics as to what. I've done all the side quests in botw and to have the people I helped call Link a stranger is saddening. It's even more pronounced in Hateno. I bought a house there. I helped its people. And the house no longer has Link's name by the door and Hateno's people remark at how Link is a new face in town. Didn't I live there? Given how some of the kids have grown it's probably been around 4 years since botw. Where has Link been in that time for the people to forget him? In Kakariko Cottla says she can't talk to me because she isn't supposed to talk with strangers. We've played tag together. I cooked meals with her sister. It's sad. In botw we spent the whole time collecting Link's memories and growing attached to the land only to have the land forget us. I feel like it's a disgrace to all of the time and joy players put in and found in botw, and to botw's story- to have none of that matter.

What happened to the Divine Beasts and the Sheikah shrines and the slate? Further, some important npcs from botw are just gone without explanation.

If the events of botw are so irrelevant then why use the same world and characters? I understand it's a way to save time and resources but this game took 6 years to make past botw. I would have preferred a new world and princess/hero entirely so I could go into it as a fresh experience. Instead, it feels like what made botw important was swept away, and the map and characters are only being used as an empty husk, like setpieces. Majora's Mask being a sequel with reused assets worked because in Termina there was no reason for anyone to know Link, and him traveling to find Navi made sense, and the look-alike characters are different people. In botw, there is no reason for no one to recognize Link or his achievements. He is the Hero of Hyrule for that world and it's people. He freed the divine beasts and put an end to the multiple local disasters they were causing, yet none of that is acknowledged and it sticks out like a sore. (I'm really really hoping that Sidon talks about Mipha and the constant rain caused by Vah Ruta because how could he not? That's his sister! Yunobo saw Daruk's spirit in botw so I'm hoping he says something of the Champions. I'm really hoping.)

I enjoyed exploring botw's world because there were always koroks and shrines to collect. I could wander knowing there was something in store to find. The world never felt too big or empty for this reason, and the solitude made sense because of the Calamity. In totk the number of shrines and koroks has been greatly reduced (edit: there are more shrines and just as many koroks as in botw. It just seems I'm having difficulty finding them ashfsjdf.) I know the overworld already so there not being a reward for exploring gives me no incentive to. The lack of shrines and the cutscenes required to go through to use the towers is another hindrance on exploration and quests. I can't get spontaneously sidetracked because there's no nearby place to warp back to, and I know how far I'll have to walk to get there. Traveling can feel like a chore instead of something enjoyable. It feels like the overworld has been stripped.

The world wasn't made for the new mechanics either, and so the areas to use them in are all tacked on as monster camps or fallen ruins, instead of a natural part of the landscape.

The new map content, the Sky and Depths, would have been better being condensed. They don't fit within the scope of botw's map. The Sky Islands so far don't take up much space and are significantly less important than I hoped they would be. The Depths is a fun concept and I enjoy the restrictions it puts on players, with the soft cap and kinda rougelite aspect while you're in the early game, but it's way too big, very repetitive, and there's not much point to exploring once you know what it's about. Both the Sky and the Depths would have benefitted by being more carefully thought out, concise, areas and suffer from having to fit the scope of botw's map. The Depths has poes and zonite to collect, but these things come in such huge quantities and require even huger quantities of to be useful that it feels grindy. I need 3 zonite ore for one crystalized ore, 100 crystalized ore for one fuel charge. There are three charges in one canister, of 8. That's 7,200 zonite ore like wtf. How is this supposed to be achievable? So far I haven't needed to use the vehicles all that often so it's not particularly useful atm either. The amount of cross-trading currency collectibles is overbearing. For some time I had no idea what any of them were used for so I didn't know what the point was in collecting them. Bubulgems, zonite ore, large zonite ore, poes, crystalized charges, large crystalized charges- too many. Please condense some of them.

Gone are all the very cool weapon designs, replaced in favor of the new fuse mechanic and endlessly scrolling through materials to find the right thing to attach.

The memories and the story in that aspect are still passive. Even more so.

We're all familiar with the Zelda formula- totk now follows the botw formula. Plateau area, back and forth fetch quests to upgrade your abilities, four main story beat locations, memories, and then the open world for players to tackle freely. I'm really hoping there is more. There has to be because the Sky and Depths haven't been used in the main story beats so far. In botw you could go anywhere and have everything to do in a given location immediately assessable to play through, but in totk there are things locked by progression. However, it's awkward because you aren't told precisely what's locked or why. I'm like- I went through the effort to get here but there isn't anything for me to do. I know there's something here! But I can't do anything yet and idk why or what I'm missing! and instead of building anticipation it just makes me frustrated. I'm not sure if what I'm missing is locked to progression or if there is something I've truly just missed.

So I have a feeling of having missed something important story/mechanic-wise when exploring, and then on the other hand I have the feeling of being very clearly shoehorned towards certain goals. Nearly all of the npcs have dialogue that leads you towards something. I don't feel like botw was ever this in-your-face about goals. The Calamity happened 100 years ago so the people have had time to adjust, while the Upheaval is happening now. It makes sense that the Upheaval would be much more pressing, I just wish the npcs would chat about something other than "go here, do this" once in a while. Like, I found Bolson, and instead of being greeted as a familiar face or getting to see Bolson in character, he just told me to go somewhere for a quest related thing. So many of the familiar characters are missing the quirky characterizations they had in botw that made them them.

With being shoehorned towards certain locations: many, many of the npcs want me to clear out monsters at Lurelin. So I went to Lurelin. At that point I'd only completed the quest in Gerudo and five shrines, yet the monsters I faced in Lurelin (and widely across the overworld) were black level monsters, which I was and still am nowhere near prepared for. Totk is either meant to be more difficult than botw or there is an issue with balancing. I've touched maybe 25 shrines and have lit a good number of lightroots, but haven't completed many, so maybe that's a factor into the enemy leveling? I also think there's a way for me to get help that I haven't found yet. Regardless, the enemy scaling across the world feels like it happened too quickly and I don't enjoy the npcs pushing me towards things my character isn't ready for. I feel like there should be more checks in place for this that determine the npc dialogue to the player's progress.

I haven't even talked about the story.

I know I'm being very critical with the game, and I wish I could just enjoy it. I need to stop trying to find botw in this game. And I should take a step back for a while too. I'm just disappointed.

The music and boss battles have been incredible! I hope there's more structured boss battles outside of the main four + ganon. Heck I even hope there's a boss gauntlet with a cool reward.

Just- yeah. So far I am not enjoying the new Zelda formula when it comes to totk. Botw worked for botw. totk looks and is structured too much like botw to feel like its own thing, and yet trying to play it like botw is just upsetting because it isn't.

Totk is a good game, but it's a bad sequel.

I hope the Zelda team returns to the old format sometime, or at least pulls forward some of the ideas. I miss the concise dungeons that take multiple play sessions to get through. I miss the tricky puzzles that make me feel smart for solving. I miss combat being a puzzle requiring certain items or learning boss phases and patterns (rather than sticking materials to your bow and taking a "just deal damage" based approach. I want to be closer to it.) I miss the worlds that were puzzles in and of themselves like Minish Cap or the Oracle games. I miss seeing a clearly marked spot on the wall or a tree in the way and knowing that I'll pick up an item that will help me here later. I like that there were clear solutions. The clues in botw and totk for progression are not as clear. And the botw open-world format is too large for concise puzzles like this. I enjoyed the open-ended way to combat and puzzles in botw, but I feel there should be space for both. No more ways to fenagle the physics or smack your way through obstacles. I want to see linear progression and long-form puzzles return to Zelda games, at least for the next one.

I'm hoping there's some plot twist or turn in gameplay that I haven't reached in totk yet. We'll seeeeee

[knjoodles]

learn to love; jungkook | 04

pairing: teacher!jungkook x singleparent!reader

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 3.5K

summary: raising your daughter alone while simultaneously watching your ex-husband live the life of his dreams away from the two of you hurts. badly. it hurts a little less, though, when you find an unlikely friend while looking for help.

lowercase intended.

psst! this chapter is a game-changer AND has a character named after one of my followers! i hope she sees it and enjoys it. 💞

01 | 02 | 03 

   your alarm clock woke you, it’s piercing siren startling your eyes wide. groaning and fluttering your eyes to adjust to the sudden morning rays warming your somnolent face, you glared at the flashing red numbers across from you, reading a proud eight a.m. “fuck,” you mumbled, sinking your head into your pillow. your head pounded sparingly as you buried your head further, your attempt at drowning out the gentle pain failing.

    what had happened last night? nothing devastating. you're not one to irrationally act out; you always think about seyoung first. the last thing you can recall is throwing your shoes off and bag to the floor and essentially passing out on your bed after attending a team dinner. your days never seem to end, it just feels as though you have small pockets of time to breathe in between your busy schedule. when your five-minute break is up, though, it's back to work.

    you slowly arose from your cozy, welcoming bed and stared at the pillow sitting next to you, one that you'd clung to all night judging from its evident crumpled form in comparison to the other pillows sprawled across your bed. ouch. it sits where hoseok would lay.

    shaking your head to ensure you wouldn't have any regressive thoughts at eight in the morning, you pulled your comforter back, swinging your legs across the bed and perching comfortably on its edge. gazing at your feet, you sighed quietly, thanking the heavens it was saturday but dually cursing it for your support group session being today. you hadn't told anyone about it, not even sooyoung. this was for you, and you alone. you trudged from your bed to the master bathroom, scrubbing your teeth.

   it was at this moment that the sweet aroma of a saturday morning breakfast wafted from your kitchen to your bedroom. you inhaled it peacefully, the fragrance calming you and clearing your mind. you finally left your bedroom, shuffling towards your kitchen and living room. you silently apologized to the heavens for scolding it about the support group and thanked it once more, being reminded that you wouldn't know what to do half the time without sooyoung.

    "morning!" a voice sang from your kitchen. "i see the zombie finally decided to rise from sleep?" it chuckled, the sound of what seemed like waffles sizzling. your stomach growled at the thought of biting into one and you returned sooyoung's laugh, the patter of your daughter's feet against the tiled floor growing louder as she ran towards you. "seyoung, be careful! i don't want you slipping!"

    "it's okay, sooyoung auntie!" your daughter assured, her smaller frame finally finding you. "mom!" she giggled excitedly as she wrapped her arms around your waist, tugging affectionately. "you're finally awake!" she moaned, pulling on your large cotton shirt. "you know, i thought you died! so i called sooyoung auntie, and she told me you were alive. but i didn't believe her, so i asked her to prove it! and she told me she couldn't prove it this early in the morning. it wasn't even that early!"

    "seyoung-ah, what part of four in the morning isn't early to you?" sooyoung complained, her voice ringing through your home, body still not in view. peeking her head past a pillar separating the three of you, she scowled, annoyed, slapping another waffle onto a stack on a plate. "i was busy dreaming my dreams and this little one wakes me from my beauty sleep! at four in the morning! seyoung, if i didn't love you so much, who knows what i'd do!" she groaned. you and your daughter chuckled in unison, her small hand dragging you to the table to sit with her and sooyoung.

    "this is the first time i've made blueberry waffles, so don't expect a master chef level plate," sooyoung grinned as she placed the large pile of waffles in the middle of the table. "seyoung was okay with normal waffles up until she spotted the blueberries in the fridge. after that, she wouldn't stop tormenting me to add them in!" she joked, sitting down across from you.

    "torment?!" seyoung squealed, eyes wide, a smile cracking across her cheeks. "all i wanted was some pancakes, auntie!" she pat the table playfully, sooyoung pinching her cheek lovingly. "and, you said yes!"

    "and, i said yes," sooyoung repeated, looking over at you. "you both know i can't say no to seyoung! it's like refusing to eat a feast in front of you after you haven't eaten for days. what do you expect me to do? starve?" she jested, earning an eye roll and a grin from you. no one failed to make you laugh like your very dramatic sooyoung.

    "yeah, yeah." you bantered, serving yourself two warm pancakes. "gosh, sooyoung, these smell incredible," you gushed as you cut a piece swiftly, wanting to savor it immediately. it instantly melted in your mouth, the flavor of the warm fruit bursting into your mouth. you smiled brightly, chewing vigorously and holding up a cheerful thumbs-up. your daughter did the same, earning a giggle from sooyoung as she studied the two of you.

    "you guys look exactly alike," she murmured as she took a portion of waffle into her mouth, nibbling contentedly. swallowing, she continued, "just the same. it's like someone copy-paste in real life."

    seyoung turned to you, her face crinkled into a joyous grin. she placed her petite hand on top of yours, squeezing it tenderly. "i'm pretty, just like her! my mom is the prettiest lady in the world."

    "that she is!" sooyoung chimed in agreement, pointing her fork with a half-eaten chunk of waffle on it at seyoung. "no one can compare, except for me. i humbly accept second place, madam (y/n)." she bowed teasingly.

    "no, seyoung, you're the prettiest! and what about yebin? she's pretty too, right?" as much as you hated mentioning yebin, you knew you had to encourage seyoung to form a relationship with her 'step-mom'. you had to be the bigger person and you have to ignore the urge to scream at her every time you see her face. that's what being an adult is. hiding your feelings and pretending that you're generally okay.

    "eh," seyoung dragged, filling her mouth with a large piece of waffle. "not as pretty as you," she assured between chews. "yebin's scary when she takes off her makeup." her unintentional attack on yebin prompted sooyoung to sputter in amusement, bursting into laughter.

    "you're even starting to talk like your mom!" sooyoung exclaimed, resting her head on the table to mask her cackling. "i can't," she gasped, throwing her head back and covering her mouth. "you guys are getting more and more alike every day!"

    you smiled at your excited daughter, who was now drawing a large smiley face using maple syrup on her plate. admiring your best friend cackling in front of you and your daughter being undeniably herself, you sat contempt, knowing life was good for the time being.

    "next time?" sooyoung started as she slipped on her shoes, her purse dangling from her shoulder. "call me. if you ever need an extra hand around here, i'll come as soon as i can. promise you'll call?"

    "promise." you reassured, nodding politely. seyoung hovered behind you waving to her beloved aunt as she departed. "thanks for the breakfast and lunch, soo. you know i couldn't have done it without you." you dart your head around to spot your daughter, finding her peering behind your leg. "seyoung, say bye to sooyoung!"

    "bye, sooyoung auntie! come back soon! i want to make chocolate pancakes next!" seyoung called as sooyoung walked to her uber. "please come back!" seyoung repeated hesitantly, "i won't wake you up early again!"

    "good." sooyoung nodded, climbing into the passenger seat. "i'll see you monday, (y/n)! enjoy your weekend." sooyoung closed the door of the car and the uber sped off, you and your daughter lingering in your front lawn until she was out of sight.

    "what are we gonna do today, mommy?" seyoung turned to you, eyes full of curiosity.

    "well, i wanted to keep it a surprise, but i may or may not have scheduled a sleepover for you and ailee!" you exclaimed, grabbing your daughter's hands excitedly.

    "a sleepover?!" she squeaked, ecstatic as ever. "a sleepover with ailee!" seyoung jumped up and down, her pigtails swaying. "thank you, mommy, thank you!" she followed you inside, slipping off her sandals. you glanced at the clock, noting that it was currently around two o'clock.

    "ailee's mom expects us at four, so go and get ready! i'll drop you off." you smiled, leading her towards her bathroom.

    "you're not staying? even for a little bit?" seyoung turned, pouting. "why? are you not friends with ailee's mom?"

    "no, no, ailee's mom and i are still friends! mommy just has a lot of work to do." you reasoned, crouching down to eye-level with your daughter. "i wish i could stay, baby, but duty calls!"

    "okay," she replied half-dejectedly, waddling into her room to fetch her clothes to shower. you felt relieved your daughter hadn't tried to pry. you were just getting help for the two of you.

    seyoung, excited as ever to finally have reached ailee's house, practically leaped out of her car seat and beelined towards the door. you dashed after her, finding it difficult to keep track of locking your car and your wild daughter all at once. "seyoung-ah!" you called sternly, making her almost immediately stop and apologize profusely. after assuring her that she didn't make any large mistake, you took her by the hand and led her to the front door, making sure she walked confidently next to you — a tip you'd read in a parenting journal.

    the door swung open as excited squeals sounded from either side, ailee and seyoung basically grabbing each other to hug tightly. chuckling at the two running off to play, seyoung's backpack still in your hand, you glanced at ailee's mother, mai. "they're really excited, huh?" she exclaimed, watching them clamber up the stairs. "here, let me take that," she offered.

    "of course!" you replied, placing the bag in her hand. "i can't thank you enough for taking seyoung in today. i would've called her nanny, but today was so busy, and —"

    "it's no issue," mai interrupted, smiling assuringly. "we all know how hard you work. and after you alone juggled both of our kids after my husband's accident, well," she turned, making sure your kids weren't there. "it's the least i could do. do you want to come in? i can get some coffee going,"

    "i'd love to, but i can't," you explained. "i've got a meeting of sorts to get to soon. i'll pick seyoung up around ten tomorrow?" you asked, adjusting the sleeve of your sweater.

    "that works perfectly. call me if there's anything important!" she called, waving to you as you departed towards your car.

    "likewise!" you responded, waving politely and climbing into your car, waiting until their front door shut. why did you always find yourself on the verge of losing it in this exact position? in front of mai's house, in your car, right in front of the wheel. and, mimicking the way you always react to these situations, you rubbed the leather of your steering wheel, stopping yourself from resting your forehead against the horn and letting it ring until you felt satisfied. it was time to go to that potential shitshow of a support group, and you didn't know how to feel. pain? fear?

    you thought your divorce from hoseok would be the worst you've ever felt. and granted, it partially was, but at least you were sure of yourself. sure that you didn't want anything to do with this anymore, regardless of how much you loved him. but now? you didn't even know if you wanted this. the worst feeling to you was clear now; it was uncertainty, because uncertainty can corrode you and all your confidence in ways nothing else can.

    and, again mimicking the way you always react to these situations, you pressed the gas and drove, preparing yourself for both the worst and the best.

    the community center was cold. that was your first thought.

    dozens of people filed into the large auditorium, all trying to catch a glimpse of the one directory they offered to guide attendees to their respective support groups. after standing on your toes for what felt like hours, you finally read, 'divorcees and widow(er)s support group, room 613'. you found your place to go, but did you really want to walk into that room?

    there that uncertainty went again, eating away at your confidence like a parasite.

    you have to go, you reasoned to yourself it's not just for you, it's for seyoung. she'll catch on to what's going on eventually, you can't let her see you weak! with the reminder of seyoung fresh in your mind, you took the elevator to the sixth floor and searched thoroughly for room 613.

    "excuse me?" a voice asked from behind you, startling you. "are you lost? 'cause i am, too."

    you snorted at their comment, turning around to face them fully. a tall, muscular man stood in front of you, voice deep, hair slicked back handsomely. "oh," you muttered, stepping back to make eye contact more comfortably. "yeah, you could say i'm lost," you nodded, darting your head to either side of the hallway. "i'm looking for room 613. do you know where that is?"

    "613? i'm headed there myself," he replied awkwardly. the two of you stood together silently, both not knowing what to say in panicked silence. "i, uh, i'm park chanyeol." he introduced himself bluntly, offering his hand.

    hesitating, you finally took his hand, shaking it firmly, the way you do with customers or partners. "i'm (y/n) (l/n)." you responded.

    "(y/n) (l/n)," he repeated, looking towards the ceiling. "that sounds familiar, do i know you?"

    you cringed internally. one of the reasons you became a producer was to avoid being recognized in public, to avoid the constant attention, to avoid the all-eyes-on-you treatment artists are forced to undergo. so, as a result, when someone does recognize your name, you get a sudden urge to become a hermit. "long story short, i'm a producer."

    "ah, i see." chanyeol replied, hearing the hint of apprehension in your voice. "well, (y/n) (l/n), we're in the same boat, so let's find the room together." thankful he understood your tone, you set off with chanyeol, trekking across the hallway to find the infamous room 613. to your annoyance and surprise, the room seemed to be hidden away from the rest of the hallway, and out of numerical order.

    chanyeol opened the door for you and let the both of you in. room 613 was larger than what you expected; the room seemed to be at least three times as big as the other rooms, with many people filling up seats and talking amongst themselves. you didn't expect this many people to ever show up to a support group, but you stood corrected. not knowing where to go, you glanced at chanyeol, who motioned for the two of you to head over to the tables supervisors had set up, which were lined with water and general snacks.

    pouring two plastic cups of water for the both of you, you looked again at chanyeol, who was tapping his foot on the floor, glancing at the clock restlessly. "hey," you started, immediately getting his full attention. "tell me about yourself, chanyeol."

        a small silence between the two of you.

    "but, only if you're comfortable!" you stammered, hoping, praying that you didn't push any buttons within the first hour of meeting someone.

    he laughed at your uneasiness, dimples revealing themselves. "it's no big deal. uh, my wife and i recently divorced after i caught her cheating on me. is this it? is this the sharing thing they wanted us to do?"

    you chuckled, amused. "yeah, i think it is. and, it's a small world; the exact thing happened to me, but with my husband. do you have any kids? i have a daughter."

    "thankfully no," chanyeol answered, now visibly more comfortable. "we were planning on it, but that was before she cheated on me,"

    you nodded, understanding where he's coming from. you never told hoseok, but you'd always wanted to have a son with him alongside seyoung. and, like chanyeol, you never got there because of someone else's mistake. "i'm sorry you had to go through that." you sympathized.

    "i just need this to finally get over everything. i'm sorry you had to go through that too, especially because you have a daughter," he stated, caressing the back of his neck. "hey, if you can do it, so can i, right?"

    "yeah. and if you can do it, so can i." you repeated, smiling at him. the two of you shared a laugh at your new paired saying as the facilitator called everyone to the circle of chairs in the middle of the room, asking everyone to take a seat. you and chanyeol sat side-by-side, the both of you somewhat relieved that you weren't in this completely alone. at least there was someone who gets how you're feeling and just how painful it can be.

    "hi, everyone!" the facilitator's voice echoed through the room, loud, clear, and confident. "my name is lee chaerin, and i'll be the 'leader', if you will, of today's support group! a reminder, in case some of you are unsure, this is the divorcee, widow, and widower support group. if you're in the wrong room, please consult the new directory outside!" she announced. as a few people shuffled quietly out of the room to find their place elsewhere, she clasped her hands together. "again, my name is lee chaerin. i'm a trained psychologist and have been studying psychology for nearly twelve years at this point. cool, huh? my hope for this support group is that i help all of you heal, even if it's just a little. i want to make sure that all of you are okay, and can help each other while helping yourself!" she rested her hands on her hips and smiled, sighing contentedly. "i know that no one really wants to do this, but it's important. let's all go around the room and introduce ourselves, what we do, what happened, and what you hope to gain from this support group! after this, we'll split into groups to share our in detail stories and learn from each other. sounds like a plan? great."

    that type of introduction was a nightmare in reality. ever since you were ten you despised introducing yourself that way, and today, once married with a daughter, you feel the same way. some things never change.

    you weren't allowed to reach for your phone for the next two hours. they say that phones ruin the human experience because they allow an escape from awkward or undesirable situations. whoever 'they' are, they sure as hell are right.

    you tried your best to pay attention to everyone's name and goals for the group. you wanted to, but with the number of people surrounding you and how much was on your mind, it was tiring to listen past their occupation.

    "hi everyone, i'm youngjae," the conventional 'hi, youngjae' sounded from the group in a monotone state, defining the core of everyone's mood at this point of the support group. "i'm a songwriter for jyp entertainment, and my goal is to heal so i can focus on my job. my wife and i divorced after some internal issues." youngjae motioned to the man sitting next to him, nodding in his direction.

    not that you'd know, though. you were staring at your feet.

    "hi, everyone, my name is jeon jungkook." a man's voice stated, making your head shoot up from the ground. the sudden movement made his eyes dart towards yours, and the two of you sat frozen, only seeing each other, eyes locked. "i'm a teacher, and my goal is to stop thinking about her every day so i can move on." his voice became audibly quieter, but it didn't matter. the room was dead silent, anyway.

    you couldn't even hold your mouth open. your jaw and chest tightened. you didn't expect him to be here.

    you broke eye contact to eye his hands, his index finger and thumb of his right hand seemingly toying with a ring that was no longer there.

    a ring that was no longer there.

    your eyes met again. the air was tense and suffocating; the panic that filled only the two of you created an atmosphere only you and jungkook could feel.

    he broke eye contact, his glance now on his lap. his voice now barely a whisper, he spoke, still loud enough for you to hear. "i lost my wife in a car accident about a year ago. she was hit by a truck while she was coming home to me."

—

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